They’re mid-prank, thinking Deena and Sammi would be gone much longer. I guess that they forgot by now, the girls are in the swing of summer. They know exactly which aisles to it at the liquor store, so it’s faster to gather the two cases of booze they need for a weekend’s worth of RonRon Juice. They swing in, but Vinny and Pauly aren’t done with the prank! Deena notices immediately her pictures are gone. They play it out though, and they all have a good laugh. Deena is already drinking, I should add. If she ever lost a hand, she should have a Red Solo Cup implanted on there. She’d certainly get her mileage out of it.
The next day, Deena and Ron head out for a Meatball Day at 5:00 somewhere… which I assume to be what Deena says at 10:45 am when she usually heads out to the bars. They play on the boardwalk, and if Deena at some point goes from sober to drunk, I don’t notice. She’s just DRUNK. So much so she starts talking about her sex life, and Ron fake-barfs some ice, telling her to quit it. Show of hands – who barfed for real? Anyone? Anyone? He inexplicably continues to sit with her, like he’s contractually obligated or something.
After many shots, she mentions that she’s paranoid of the cops now that she’s been arrested. I’ll tell you what, if you are paranoid of the cops, a great way to confront your fears is to get hella wasted and then go up to them and ask for a hug. I’ve been arrested. On no planet I can name would I get hammered, fall off my bar stool, and go ask them if it’s cool if I go hang out on a public street for awhile. Deena’s got 99 problems, y’all, but for now the main one is that it’s time to quit day drinking, go home, get ready, and do some club drinking!
Day Drinking With Deena: Another spin-off possibility. It always ends here, ugly crying on the phone to either her mom or her boyfriend. Stay classy, Deena.
The gang goes to Karma, and Roger’s sent Jenni’s Long Island crew up to party with her. I’m not sure how that works, but he’s not there and she’s really touched. At this point, I’ll just go with it. I think there’s a culture here that a Midwestern chick like me will just never, ever get. Guido culture. It’s deep, and it runs from New England to Florida. Gionni’s there, Mike’s showing off his Situation and grinding up on a Paula look-alike.. wait, what? Not Paula? Not Paula. Her beefy friend pulls him aside to tell him he’s not being cool, and Mike’s response is mostly, “This guy should be getting girls right now, not watching me.” Then Whitney, a blond chick who looks like she’s maybe got an IQ score in the middle digits, instead of the super lows, she sees him. She can’t stop laughing – could be a good sign, and she’ll bust this jask-assery out to his girlfriend; then again, this is Jersey Shore, so it could also be slight developmental delay. Paula has a lot of spies, in Mike’s head. In reality, Paula has actual friends and Mike is a wishy-washy chauvinist.