Jersey Shore Recap: Great Meatballs of Fire, aka There’s Still Nobody Watching

Recaps

By SunnySideup | Friday, November 2, 2012 | 2:32 am | 8 Comments
Posted in: Jersey Shore, MTV, Recaps

In the cab on the way home, Deena is drunkenly babbling and Ron and Sam seem over it.  I think they should have made it home before Sammi said anything, but she clarifies that Ron said Deena talks about herself too much.  Fight!!!!!  She melts down, wants to go home, it’s nothing you’ve not seen before.  In life, it happens all the time that a drunk girl loses it over something stupid.  On Jersey Shore this season, it’s just how Deena do.  She wants to go home, and I vote yes.  get her off this island.  More coconuts for Jenni.

In the morning, Paula calls and Mike manages to think that he’s headed off her friends’ reports.  She’s dumber than Deena if that’s possible.  Proud of himself, he heads out with the VP of MVP to a diner.  Cool enough, they show the gawking crowd.  One of them has a unique stare, just for Pauly D.  It’s like she’s boring into his soul with her deep stare.  he tries to imitate it in confessional, but honestly it’s pretty creepy.  Why does he have the stalkers?  Is it because he’s so loud that it’s easy to trail him???

Pauly's Stalker

Remember Pauly’s hot Israeli stalker from Season One?  Times have changed, haven’t they?

Instead of GTL with the boyz, Ron hangs with the girls.  The morning starts with Deena talking about her hemorrhoids, and Sammi asking if it’s bleeding.  If you feel like making a donation to my therapist, personal message me, okay?  I think this is the year she’s finally going to get that vacation in Fiji pulled together.  Honestly though, between GTL with MVP, and day drinking with Sammi, Deena, and Ron, I choose….. Hmmmm…. I choose… The Party Bus of Death.

Snooki’s home in her little Troll Hole, and I actually do hope Jenni’s in there with her, like hanging out and reading Allure or something.  I picture them chilling during down time from filming.  She’s not a natural in the kitchen, and I can relate.  It’s hard.  I never know if it’s going to go well or not.  She’s got a ton of ingredients and seems to be actually cooking, not just heating up Trader Joe’s foods.  I’ll respect that.  She has to call her dad, but still, I’m having another rare moment of being okay with a segment of this show.  

Soon after, I’m back to being appalled, when we get back to Sammi, Ron, and Deena’s Day Drinking Adventure, to find it’s now 8 pm and Sammi’s ready to shower up for the club later.  Their livers must gently weep all day long, and well into the night, day in and day out.  Sammi doesn’t think she should be responsible for Deena, and that Deena is perfectly fie to Meatball it up on her own.  Deena wouldn’t think of going home to shower, because Meatballs are greasy and gross.  I think she thinks she is an *actual* meatball.  Like the food.  As Sammi and Ron leave, Deena does shots alone and puffs on her cig in the dusky sunset.

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I'm Sunni Sideup, and I grew up in Southern Illinois nowhere near Chicago, and you know what Matt Paxton from 'Hoarders said about girls from So Ill?  "I wouldn't mess with a girl from Southern Illinois; they'll knock your teeth out."  Now I live in Tucson, Arizona and this town is my jam.  I love it.

I have no professional writing experience, but I was the Managing Editor of an All-American high school newspaper about a billion years ago.  Luckily, when you're recapping MTV shows, the jokes write themselves.      

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Valleygirl
    Posted November 2, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I’m not gonna lie, I’ve only been watching this show lately so I can see the Vinny/Pauly accidentally-coming-out-of-the-closet-together episode that we all know is imminent. The rest of it? It’s whatever. And Deena’s drunk voice is so grating.

    Save Paula! She seems like good people, I hope she makes it out of this un-Sitched. Lol.

  2. 2
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted November 2, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Mike was on The View recently and said he was single so Paula is obviously out of the picture. I’d also like to open a discussion as to speculation on his sobriety. He’s been going around the talk show circuit saying he is 8 months sober. But he’s been saying that for the past few months and it’s always an automatic answer to the obvious first question he’s going to get. I hope he is really sober but I sense shenanigans in his pat answers. I know this was touched on in previous recaps and comments so I’m curious to see what’s really going on with this.

    Anyway, this show has more than run its course and I’m not sad to see it gone after this season. Yes, I’m just watching to see it through to the end and no other reason. It’s certainly no longer entertaining, and Deena is just sad, pathetic, and frankly, gross. As far as the others, I agree that they are just calling it in this season. Snore.

  3. 3
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted November 2, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    I’m not sure why I still enjoy this show, especially since everyone else is soooooooooo over it. Oh well.

    I think people these days tend to cynics. He could not be sober, but he seems to be enjoying himself clean. He’s not like Snookie who craves a drink whilst pregnant (nothing wrong with that), but he doesn’t seem to whine or cry about having to be sober. He realizes that’s what he needed to do.

    Might he backslide…who knows, but I do hope that he stays strong.

  4. 4
    KJN KJN
    Posted November 2, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    I am a little over it, but Pauly D’s impression of his stalker last night was one of the funniest things I have seen on this show. Ever.

  5. 5
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted November 3, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    I’m right there with ya, Classy. I’m still as entertained as I ever was with Jersey Shore. There was just as much manufactured shit in season 2/3 as there is now. Sure, I can’t stand Deena, but that’s nothing new.

  6. 6
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted November 3, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Didn’t watch last season’s JS, but with so many recommendations, I am going to have to catch up.

    Thanks guys.

    I think.

  7. 7
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted November 3, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    I feel like I am trudging through season 6 of the Sopranos. Just waiting for some dark, self on the famed mega ferris-wheel swing into the sunset to DMB’s first ablum.

  8. 8
    SarahRita
    Posted November 5, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    I actually enjoy this season, sure everyone is not as drunk as they have been in the past, but I enjoy seeing a different side to everyone. Mike is actually tolerable when he is sober, even though he still acts like a douche with the way he treats Paula. Vinny/Pauly D are as entertaining as always (and still my favorites). Ronnie/Sam are finally in a healthy relationship, which I am very pleasantly surprised to see. Jenni is the same, I do enjoy seeing her let loose a little more.

    Snooki seems to be taking her pregnancy seriously, and I really like her and Jionni together. However, I do get annoyed when Snooki refers to herself as being \handicap\ because she is pregnant. I know she is joking, but that is one of my pet peeves, because ultimately she chose to have the baby.

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