Jersey Shore Recap: Raining Men and Meatballs (Luckily not literally)

Recaps

By SunnySideup | Friday, December 14, 2012 | 10:00 am | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Jersey Shore, Recaps

Last week on Jersey Shore, I was rocking OUT with the only thing from Jersey that matters to me besides my cousin Bill… Bruce Springsteen.  Y’all, he is my Higher Power, and he played the best show I have ever seen!  He even did Santa Clause Is Coming to Town.! 

Last week down the shore, Vinnie and Jionni hashed it out like guido-men at the Shore Shower, Mike and Snooki had a sit-down apology/flash-bask sesh at her gnome home that went… okay.  Her fake eyelashes were so distracting, it was hard to tell.  They high-fived, though, so I guess that’s a start.  Jenni got up in Jionni’s grill about not being around a lot, and Jionni maybe might try to consider making an effort.  I maintain he’s got the right idea by not being around.  The guys degrade Paula, so that was not fun to watch.  Way to go, MTV.  Vinny and Snooki do a little bonding when Vinny’s too sick for a night at Aztec.  They end up cruising over on scooters, not adorable Italian Vespas, mind you.  Larks.  Like in Medicare commercials.  Snooki gets a sonogram, and the boys take Jionni out for some ritual bonding, Shore-Style.

Watch the opening credits closely next time.  It’s shocking how young and fresh they look compared to now.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Then                                                                                                                                      Now

We open with Jenni, who calls Roger only to be told that all of the guys were telling Jionni that she was the one stirring the proverbial pot with regard to how much time Jionni doesn’t spend with Nicole.  Jenni confronts Ron about it, since he’s been equally vocal.  Hasn’t she learned though, that in this messed up reality, she’s the bad guy because she’s a girl.  She takes her stand in a Slayer muscle shirt though, and I sort of love her for all of it.  She eventually calls Jionni and they hash it out on the duck phone.  He does mention that he’s been there every weekend, and Snooki just hasn’t told them that, which seems like a weird mistake on editing’s part.  That makes it seem like they don’t actually hang out all the time! You know, actual reality.  

The Roomies hang around shootin’ it together, and Vinny mentions he wants to take a ballroom dancing class.  Harkening his Dancing With the Stars run, Mike wants to go, as do several others.  Mike tells everyone that he used to be a stripper in college – $10 for massages, $20 for lap-dances.  $50 for Mike to go away.

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I'm Sunni Sideup, and I grew up in Southern Illinois nowhere near Chicago, and you know what Matt Paxton from 'Hoarders said about girls from So Ill?  "I wouldn't mess with a girl from Southern Illinois; they'll knock your teeth out."  Now I live in Tucson, Arizona and this town is my jam.  I love it.

I have no professional writing experience, but I was the Managing Editor of an All-American high school newspaper about a billion years ago.  Luckily, when you're recapping MTV shows, the jokes write themselves.      

14 Comments

  1. 1
    trkaelin
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 11:10 am

    “Magic Mike” the Situation is not.

  2. 2
    carol
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    I usually watch this show online, so it is a nice small screen and not the best quality. However, this week I watched it on a large HD tv. Bad bad bad idea. All of the people that appear on this show should never be shown in HD. I also noticed how different they look in the opening credits. Vinny still looks more or less the same. Ronnie now looks like he got stung by a bee and is allergic. Sam looks the same but like she has aged 10 years. Vinny is the same but but larger. Jenni, wow, the old hair, eyes and pre plastic surgery, she looks totally different now. The old her looks like it could be her younger sister that is 10 years younger. Snookie looks shorter now and like her neck has shrunk in length.

    Mike gets his own paragraph. He is gross, both now and back then. He was obviously juicing back when JS started but now it looks like he is doing even more steroids. He is not attractive at all. He is the only guy on JS that is clearly only getting attention from females because he is being followed around by a camera. Unfortunately I can see him ODing sometime in the near future, especially since this is the last JS season. He is going to be lost without this show.

    Would this show have ever worked without these crazy people? Nope. We don’t want to see multiple seasons of any of the Real World casts yet this group has had multiple seasons.

  3. 3
    mullymoon
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Did you happen to notice when Mike’s girl was too sloppy to take home…he sent her on her way. No taxi, no supervision, no assistance, just off into the neighborhood and whatever alley she might lay down in. He is Mr Charm!

  4. 4
    crazy rooster
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 7:52 pm

    In the after picture jenny”s boobs look like mickey mouse ears on sammi

  5. 5
    Harleigh
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    My porn star name would be…………….. Nikita North………. PERFECT

  6. 6
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 5:31 am

    Porn name….Inker Bangs.
    Shoot! I should’ve had that as my user name instead of sheesh!

  7. 7
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 6:23 am

    I’ve watched every episode of every season, and you’d think I’d keep watching now, if only to see it through to the end. But no. This show jumped the shark awhile ago, probably in the Italy season (for me at least). I will try to catch bits and pieces of the new episodes if I can, but I just don’t care enough anymore if I miss it altogether. I’m actually more interested in jumping ahead 5 years and seeing where these idiots are then. I know in the coming months we’ll have some more of Jenni & Snooki, but the others don’t seem to have anything going on. I’m going to say if none of them settle down for a somewhat normal lives off camera they will be doomed.

    My porn name (moved a lot as a kid, so there’s a few, but this one is the best): Captain Revere.

  8. 8
    Whatever
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    I love my porn name: Brandi Buckingham. I should change my name immediately.

    This show has been dead any buried for a long time. 7 comments, no one is watching.

    This is another show I only watch for the recaps..glad it’s almost over though.

  9. 9
    Urfavegirl@gmail.com
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Porn name: Midget Hooker. No joke. I thought I couldn’t be any more embarrassed for Mike & his dancing skills when I watched him on DWTS, then I watched this episode.

  10. 10
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 8:21 am

    Krissy Old Post Doesn’t seem very sexy.

    Mike is an awful dancer. No way he made money doing that.

    I would have been upset with Deena also. You brought a bunch a stranger from the street to the house? You have taken meatball day too far.

  11. 11
    Parisi LaRoe Parisi LaRoe
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 9:22 am

    Mine is Lady Main. Holla!

    I am glad the show is finally over. I will watch Snooki and J-Woww’s show because they are my favorites but good riddance.

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted December 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    Porn name: Tiger Meadow, MEOWWWWWWWWWW!

    Stopped watching when Deena got drunk tanked. Can’t stand it any more. Thanks for the swift recap…no need to see that it sounds like.

  13. 13
    TurtleGirl93 TurtleGirl93
    Posted December 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Spunky Olive…I guess my inner porn star is like a martini with a kick!

    Is it wrong that I’m looking forward to the reunion show?

  14. 14
    perfxcked
    Posted December 17, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    I agree that all of these people have aged WAY more than their six year run would suggest. And between Deena and Jenni’s plastic surgeries, it’s a wonder we can even recognize them anymore!

    My porn name is excellent… Trixie Walnut :)

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