Jersey Shore: Your Mom’s Drunk Dialing

Recaps

By Honey Gangsta | Monday, March 21, 2011 | 11:00 am | 22 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Jersey Shore, Recaps

Well, it seems there is no mercy in the universe because Rammi are still at each other’s throats and it looks like that’s all we get to watch.

rammi.js.3.17.11Just kill us. Please.

Sammi suddenly changes her tactic from “deny everything” to “I know what I did wrong.” She says she’s sorry she hit Arvin up and Ronnie goes, “So if a girl showed up looking for me…” and Sammi finishes, “I would kill her!”  Okay, I am ashamed that I was kind of defending her at the end of the last episode.  I didn’t realize this was all a highly calculated move to create this exact response. I made the mistake of giving her the benefit of the doubt and thinking the texts to Arvin may have been meant as a step away from Ronnie. Why is she even crying then?  She succeeded.  Mission accomplished.

Next there is a scene where Snooki and Deena are kicking an empty box around, then Deena tries to fit inside of it and gets stuck.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

Deena stuck.js.3.17.11No comment.

Rammi are still at it and Ronnie tells us he’s not even sure if he loves Sam at this point.  Well wouldn’t that just be a tragedy?

Sammi apologizes.js.3.17.11Love or hate… it all looks like this.

The next day Snooki, Deena and Sammi are off to be a thorn in Danny’s side and we find out that it’s Deena’s last day of employment.  Which means this season is almost ready to put itself out of its misery.  And not a moment too soon.  Deena’s completely uninterested in doing any work, as usual, and she just wants to make clothes for herself.  I’m guessing that means sweat pants that say “shore whore” on the butt or something equally classy.

And in other classy news, Vinny offers to take Snooki out to lunch at some place where they can make their own hamburgers.  I’m sure this is meant to stoke our interest in whether these two idiots are going to ever get together as a couple, but I could really care less.

Vinny Snooki lunch.js.3.17.11Anyone interested? Didn’t think so.

They’re both continually doinking anyone and everyone, so is a hamburger really going to seal any kind of deal?  At the restaurant Snooki spots beer battered onion rings on the menu and asks the waitress if that means the onion rings come served in beer.  The waitress awesomely tells her yes and Snooki believes it.  She orders herself what she expects to be beer onion soup.  Vinny wants to chit chat with Snooki about the girls he and Pauly D banged last night.  When Snooki tells Vinny his girl was gross, he tells her that they’re in Seaside so the girls aren’t always going to be “dimes.”  And now Snooki is all hurt because Vinny, once again, will bang everyone except her.  Vinny tells us that he apologizes when he hurts Snooki’s feelings because those other girls aren’t really important but Snooki is.  He also says it’s possible that he and Snooki will eventually get serious. Ugh, please don’t.

Some other time all of the guy roommies are at the Shore Store and they decide it’s time that Vinny got his ears pierced.  They all have their ears pierced except for him.  So I guess last week it was spray tanning and this week it’s ear piercing.  Vinny’s transformation into total douchebag continues.  Now, I’ve never claimed to be attracted to the guido type, but I honestly do not see the allure of a guy with both ears pierced.  Or even one.  It seems so prissy to me.  Danny comes over to Vinny with alcohol swabs and the piercing gun and Vinny almost craps his pants.  I guess these earrings are going to prove what a tough guy he is, even though getting them is causing him to shriek like a 4-year-old girl.

Vinny pierced.js.3.17.11I guess Mike went to get Vinny a diaper.

Once the studs are finally in, Vinny tells us he took it like a G and didn’t even flinch.  We must have been watching different footage then, Vinny.  Wipe your tears.  Pauly D tells him he looks fresh to death and Vinny totally believes him.  He starts walking different and tilting his hat just so.  Yep, he’s a douchebag at last.

Later the gang is all getting ready to go out.  Ronnie asks Sammi if she wants to go and her answer is:  “Do you?”  Ronnie says he just wants to get some wine and stay in, so Sammi goes, “Yeah I want to do that.”  Good night!

Deena emerges in some ridiculous denim outfit that looks like it was meant for a 10-year-old, judging by how tight it is on her, and Pauly D starts making cracks about Deena’s favorite part of Mario Brothers being the part where it goes, “Denim, denim, denim,” to the tune of the video game.  The funny part here is that the producers actually added in video game sound effects.

Deena denim.js.3.17.11“It’s my Goomba outfit, you jerk off!”

Deena’s pissed and I don’t blame her.  Yes, she looks ridiculous, but all the girls in the house go out dressed up like clown whores on a regular basis, so there’s no real reason to specifically target her.  Pauly D tells us he doesn’t think denim is in anymore.  I don’t know if it’s in anymore to get your own name tattooed across your lower back, Pauly D, but to each his own.

And at Aztec, Vinny walks right up to some girls and tells them he’s looking for hot girls to dance with, implying that it’s not them.  I’d rip those stupid earrings out of his earlobes with my fingernails.  And oh, look who is back to torture everyone and embarrass herself.  It’s Danielle!

Danielle.js.3.17.11“I’m going to eat your soul, Pauly.”

She asks Pauly D if he’s done with his grenades and he goes, “Nope.”  Then she sends one of her friends over to Pauly D with a message.  I remember she did this before and it’s so 7th grade.  The friend says that Danielle wants to come over to the house and Pauly’s like, “No.”  Then Danielle comes back to him and asks him if he wants her to punch him.  Pauly D goes, “Do what you gotta do.”  Wow, I guess Danielle is officially off the docket.

And back home Rammi is following through with their plan to stay in and drink wine.  Which has become Sammi watching Ronnie eat a hamburger while she tries again to apologize and he just keeps asking her to pass condiments like the wounded victim that he is.

pass the mustard.js.3.17.11“Pass the mustard and shut your shady face!”

He tells us now he has a taste of how Sammi felt in Miami.  Sammi leans all over Ronnie whispering, “I’m sorry.  I miss you.  Please beat me with a baseball bat.”  They end up banging in the smoosh room.

Vinny and Pauly D are having misadventures at Aztec because it looks like there are a lot of larger, older women there who think it’s hilarious to get in their faces and hit on them.  And it is kind of hilarious.

old grenade.js.3.17.11It’s this or Danielle, Pauly D.

When they’re finally fed up, they find the two least offensive looking girls (who seem about on par with the girls they always bring home) and take them home to see what happens.  While they’re sipping their after-party drinks in the living room, suddenly there is a knock at the door and it’s the brother of one of the girls.  Unlike the entourage of uncles and cousins who took a girl away from Vinny before, this brother just wants to know how the girls are going to get home.  He says he can take them home tonight, or come back for them in the morning.  Pauly D pipes up and asks if the brother can take Pauly D’s girl home right now and come back in the morning for the other girl. Ouch.

Pauly sends girls home.js.3.17.11“Yo, I’m very particular about whos I bang.”

The girl calls him a dick and says she’d rather sleep with Mike anyway, then Vinny’s had enough and tells the brother to take both the girls and leave. Pauly D’s girl goes, “I just want to say…” and Deena goes, “I think it’s better if you don’t say anything at all.”  Geez!  What’s with all the hostility?  These girls are seriously no worse than any girls they’ve dragged home before.  Did they not drink as much tonight?  Anyway, Vinny gets in the brother’s face and says, “There’s the door right there!”  And shoos everyone out.  This prompts the roommates to comment once again on how Vinny’s earrings have changed him.  Oh brother.  It reminds me of Jem.  Remember Jem?  By day she was the mild mannered Jerrica, but when she touched her earrings her computer, Synergy, turned her into Jem the rockstar?  I guess Vinny has magic earrings too.  Here’s a visual:

Jem and Jerrica 2.js.3.17.11

Jerrica earring.js.3.17.11“Showtime, Synergy!”

And now that the stranger-bimbos have left the building, Vinny grabs Snooki and starts dragging her to his room, saying, “All right come on, Snooki.”  And Snooki is pissed.  After storming around the house for a minute she tells us, “I’m not anybody’s last resort.  I’m somebody’s first priority.”  Oh really?  Whose?  Still, though, Vinny is being a creep.  He keeps following Snooki around trying to say he was kidding and Snooki keeps telling him to leave her alone.

Snooki pissed at.js.3.17.11“Snooki, didn’t you see my mighty earrings?”

They both complain to us about when one of them is ready and willing, the other one never is.  Yes, it’s just such a star-crossed romance of epic proportions.  Snooki finally stomps off into her room and Vinny and Sammi have a rapping battle.  It’s too pathetic for words.  When Vinny raps something about Sammi being the sneakiest bitch you’ll ever meet, Sammi gets all pissy and says she’s done.  I’m so surprised that Sammi is a bad sport.

The next day Mike, Pauly D and Jwoww have their final shifts at the Shore Store, but all Mike wants to do is sleep and he keeps finding places where he can catch some shut-eye.  You know, it’s really too bad what a joke this job has become because it would be so awesome to see Danny fire Mike’s lazy butt and force him to get out of our faces.  Danny eventually finds him snoozing in a changing room, but really, what power does he have?

Mike sleeps at work.js.3.17.11Sadly this behavior brought in more business than 20 regular employees.

Back home, Sammi discovers that she accidentally slept in her contacts and is now physically blind.  Well, that’s cool.  She’s been mentally and emotionally blind since day one of the series, so at least now her body has caught up.  Ronnie takes her to the doctor and while they’re gone Deena gets a charming phone call from Ronnie’s mom, Connie.  When Deena offers to let Ronnie know that Connie called, Connie goes, “I love you!” in a total baby voice.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Connie is bombed.  Deena is hilarious.  She’s like, “Oh okay,” and keeps trying to be polite, but you can tell she has no idea what to do.

Deena Ronnie's mom.js.3.17.11“So Ronnie should be home any minute…”

Connie starts telling Deena how tan she is.  Like an Indian, she says.  Deena hands Jwoww the phone and Connie starts talking to Jwoww about how bad Ronnie messed up in Miami.

Jwoww talks to Ronnie's mom.js.3.17.11“Yeah, we all think Ronnie’s a douchebag.”

Jwoww and Deena decide to hand this mess over to Mike, so Mike takes the phone and totally gets involved in the conversation, telling Connie all about how Sammi made plans to meet up with Arvin, so she’s no innocent bystander.  That seems useful.

When Rammi get home, Jwoww goes up to Ron and says, “Two things.  PLEASE clean that bathroom upstairs, and two, your mom’s drunk dialing all day.”  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!  That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard!  Can you imagine?  Just then Connie calls back so they hand Ron the phone.  Mike brags that he had a half-hour conversation with Connie, which makes Sammi super nervous.  Ron’s on the phone going, “You’re embarrassing me, and you’re embarrassing yourself.” HA!  And Jwoww tells Sammi that Mike told Connie everything about Arvin. Sammi’s talking a big game about punching Mike in the face, but of course she’s not going to do anything except try to get Ron mad at Mike.  And Ron’s finally had enough and hangs up on his mom.

The guys and Jwoww congregate on the patio to try to get to the bottom of what is up with Sammi and Arvin.  Mike is on a soapbox, wildly gesticulating and making extreme faces while insisting that Sammi used to “sweat” Arvin and considers him her back up in case things don’t work out with Ron.

Mike freaks out.js.3.17.11“One word, three syllables: Shady bitch!”

Jwoww asks if they can’t just be even since Ron was such a douche in Miami, but here Ron says he’s already admitted to that so it doesn’t count anymore.  The guys back him up on this, saying they should have started fresh here in Jersey since Ron admitted what he did.  That’s not quite how I remember it.  Didn’t everything come out when Sammi saw the Miami episodes?  I love, too, how Ron is always innocent if he admits something.  Such crap.  So now the guys have worked themselves into a frenzy about just how badly Ronnie has been treated while he was crying, sending Sammi flowers, and might I add, sifting through the remains of all her possessions he destroyed.  But none of that matters; he admitted what he did.

Sammi comes storming out to the patio demanding to know what Mike’s saying and why he’s getting involved in her business.  As the insults fly, Mike tells Sam she’s the “worst argument person ever.”  Good one, Mike.

Sammi defends herself.js.3.17.11“Well, you’re the worst… Jersey Shore person ever!”

Sammi tells us that she and Ronnie are happy and Mike’s going to ruin them.  Riiiiight.  Mike comes up with a plan to call Arvin and let him say his peace without interruption and then Sammi can dispute it if she wants.  So as this plan gets put into place the guys keep egging Ronnie on, saying how sketchy it is that Sammi has this “friend” who Ronnie didn’t know about.  And Ronnie was always out in the open when he was messing around (not true).

The girls rally around Sammi, saying they would have all done the same thing, which is hit up a hot guy to show up when they know their ex will be there.  Oh, is Arvin hot?  I’d call that a fail.  Anyway Mike’s calling Arvin and Arvin’s saying that he and Sammi used to hang out a lot and they’ve made out.  Ronnie takes the phone and asks if Arvin and Sam have hooked up.  He says no, but they’ve made out.  Ron looks around madly for Sammi’s glasses so he can smash them again.

Next week!  It’s the finale!  Thank goodness!  Vomit much?  Any of you who are still hanging in there with me?  I salute you!

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta

Late one afternoon in 2005, Honey Gangsta received an invite to join a two person blog set up by her former roommate who had recently ditched LA (California knows how to party) for the bright lights of NYC (these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you). The purpose of the blog was to continue their nightly ritual of ripping on reality TV, which could no longer be done in person. Since Honey Gangsta was still watching 18 hours of TV a day and had nothing else to do, she agreed. 10,000 hits later, HG was inspired to submit a Bachelor recap to TVgasm - no one was reporting on Officer Mayo and his time traveling DeLorean - and the rest is history. It's been said that she writes what you're thinking. It's been said she is a genius - a Blogger Laureate of her time. It's also been said that the earth is flat and no one landed on the moon, so you just never know. With her keen observations, and colorful commentary, Honey Gangsta is beloved the world over.

22 Comments

  1. 1
    someguy
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 11:36 am

    The show is over by love your recaps. The whole caast is vilie and treat other people like dogs. These people are not likable and morally bankrupt.They are believing the hype. Those two women they brought home did nothing wrong and were as or more attractive then most they bring home. I for one like the Ron and Sam mess they deserve each other.Did feel sorry for Ron with the Mom phone calls. Thay explains some of his behavior. Watching 30 year olds act this way and have no future what so ever is a downer

  2. 2
    Mommyqct
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Vinny was being a real douche this week. Normally i love him and Pauly D – but I have never seen them be that rude to a girl to her face – that is a Situation move… diappointed in them! I do however, want ot see Vinny & Snooki get together….

  3. 3
    MichyPR
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Actually I don’t think even Sitch would be that rude to a girl, I was very disappointed in Pauly, he’s not usually such a dick. As for Vinny I think the fame has gone to his head and the douchebag transformation is complete. When he dragged Snooki and said, “Come on, Snooki. I know what you want.” I would have slapped him across the face, puh-lease dude, you’re not all that.
    Oh and I for one think Arvin’s pretty hot, in a jacked up dude kind of way, looks like he can slap you around a bit :D In a non-domestic violence kind of way…

  4. 4
    Rosalind Herbert
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    I spent a good part of my day reading all of your recaps. Too funny. I had two Jem dolls by the way:) Pauly D I think was just having a bad day or whatever. I mean living in that house with Rammi will prob sour anyones mood. He seems to be just over living there at this point and playing mentor/big brother/idol to Vinny…Vinny is just trying so hard to impress him that it is making him look like a dick. Smh

  5. 5
    Jess Chapman
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but it must be said: I don’t feel sorry for Ronnie AT ALL. He deserves whatever shit he gets. He’s lucky she’s even coming within 100 feet of him. (By the way, Sammi is a fucking idiot for that, but at least she doesn’t smash stuff – in the literal sense.) She hit up another guy? So what? I’m just surprised he wasn’t a cop.

  6. 6
    Nikki Hughes
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    I thought that image of Jem was Fashion Plates. I loved those things. :D

  7. 7
    noreality
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    I couldnt watch this episode, I tried, but I had to end it with Sammi drooling all over Ronnie and him ignoring her. It was really humiliating to even watch. She is so pathetic and the guys are dumber then dirt and act like eight year olds. Actually I have a 7 year old and he doesnt even act like that. I’m glad they are going to Italy, maybe they will stay there. Thanks for the recap Honey G

  8. 8
    itchy
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    This show is turning into the Amazing Race, what with all the yelling and heavy breathing. But wow, it’s pretty extraordinary what MTV is doing here, transforming every single one of them into complete and utter cretins before our eyes. Hell, they’re even showing Pauly D and Vinnie for the uppity douchebags that they’ve become.

    My guess is that they were on the hook for the Italy show, but after that they want to wash their hands of this crew and start fresh with a new batch of idiots. Which is what they should do anyway.

  9. 9
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Okay, the editing/timing is really bugging me. Sammi left at the end of one episode, was absent for a whole episode, and then came back at the end of the following show. And we learn on this episode that she was only gone for one night?! They stretched one night over three episodes..yet with the toilet storyline, we are supposed to believe the toilet that was clogged during those episodes, was broken for 2 weeks?

    Also, how many episodes ago did Vinny bring home the Dominican girl that broke Snooki’s heart? And he apologized to Snooki this episode for bringing home a girl ‘last night.’ Umm…HELLO! Are they messing with us, or does one episode only cover a 24 hr period?

    Perhaps, they’re showing things out of order. Maybe Vinny took Snooki out for burgers the day after he banged that girl, but the editors played it during this episode. Only, didn’t Snooki take home a dude last week’s episode, the one who patched up her knee? So why wasn’t it mentioned, when Vinny was apologizing? I dunno, I think the editors could give two shits at this point about sequential order..they’re probably as tired of this bunch as we are.

    Also, does anyone else notice that for the past few weeks, Mike has been excluded from all group activities? Even last week, when Pauly and Vinny grilled the meat and everyone ate, you saw Mike hovering over the table but he wasn’t invited to eat. No more family dinners, they’ve excluded the chef! And you never see him chilling with any of the guys or going out with them, unless the whole cast goes to the club (read: contractual obligation). I’m sure they have plenty of reasons to hate him, I just wish MTV gave us some footage of blowouts or confessionals of the cast complaining about how much they hate him.

    Mike’s only try to sell Sammi up the river in hopes the boys bring him back into the fold for respecting ‘guy code.’ “I had your back, Ronnie, didn’t I? Great, let’s be best friends!”

  10. 10
    skatt
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    I just wish someone would powder/blot Mike’s face before his Interviews. The shine coming off his face is overwhelming.

  11. 11
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    He could also stop doing so much coke.

    But I took the “gone for a night” comment not to be literal but that Sammi didn’t lose a beat in texting Arvin. I think the timing was that she was probably gone for at least a few days. But everyone in the cast is borderline illiterate, anyway, so who knows.

    I didn’t actually mind Pauly asking the guy to take his “girl” home right then because at least she had a safe ride home. Why call a cab in an hour when there’s a free ride right there? How everyone else acted was BS, including the nameless girl he bumrushed out of the house and especially Vinny, but if his beer goggles suddenly cleared up and he wasn’t interested anymore, why not send her home with her brother?

    Vinny, on the other hand, needs to take a good, long look in the mirror and remember that it was just a year ago that his MOM STILL CUT HIS MEAT FOR HIM. Plus, he’s sloe-eyed, weak-chinned and flabby. They’re only coming home with him because of the camera, so he might want to rethink his arrogance.

  12. 12
    jersey4041
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    This episode was a little boring..
    It does seem like Mike is being excluded but allegedly, I think I read it on another site he was being a real pain in the ass this season. I guess they’re really supposed to try not to talk about their ‘fame’ and apparently they had a hard time with Mike. He was constantly on the phone with his manager and talking about appearances and he basically gave them no footage to use since they have to edit all that out.

    I don’t know… I feel bad for the cast in some ways because their OBVIOUSLY famous (whether you agree with it or not, they’re all over the place). I was in Seaside a few weeks ago and EVERYTHING is Jersey Shore stuff. And the producers are trying to get them to act like they’re just normal everyday people. Imagine if you’re real life was like there’s, jetsetting around, making a shit ton of money, meeting celebrities…and you couldn’t talk about it with other people going through the same thing. The footage will probably start to get stupid. They used to be able to interact with people. From what I understand you can’t get into the ‘Shore Store’ ..there’s a huge line and basically for every person that comes out, they let someone in. So it’s not even a natural environment they’re being filmed in.

    I’m not saying I take TOO much pity on them but I try to look at both sides. I think the producers have a tough editing job on their hands and work with what they can. It might be time for them to move but I’m not sure you can make lightning strike twice…then again, the Jersey Shore is a very interesting place.

  13. 13
    Comment
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    WHERE WAS ROGER? Jwoww and Roger are the only people I really look forward to watching right now and I didn’t get to see them together!

    Also, I do think that Vinny wasn’t treating Snooki properly. He actually picked her up to try and get her into his room to have sex. Snooki is so tiny she couldn’t do anything!

  14. 14
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 22, 2011 at 5:40 am

    It would have been really awesome if Sammi had replied to learning about Mike telling Ronnie’s mom about her “texting” with a cool, “Oh, that’s nice. Did he also tell her about Ron destroying my property?”

    Alas, it’s a little too awesome for her tiny, abused brain. Also, clearly I don’t love Sammi, but Ronnie disgusts me. Such a manipulator. When Sammi kept apologizing (for WHAT?) and he kept milking it by just asking for the condiments and saying “It’s okay.” Ugh. So gross.

  15. 15
    considerthis
    Posted March 22, 2011 at 6:50 am

    As Ross so eloquently said to Rachel “We were on a break” so open season on Arvin and his chipmunks.

    Vinnie sippin on some douche-juice.

    Rammi & Sitch ruined this show. It is groundhog day every fricken week. Rammi fights, Mike starts shit, Rammi makes up (just mix up the order). Now we just get to watch this in a foreign country.

  16. 16
    Maria Velis
    Posted March 22, 2011 at 8:23 am

    I am no fan of sammi, but wtf? why was everyone so hell bent on blowing up the fact that Arvin was there to see her and not ONE person made a big deal about Ron openly cheating on her in Miami?
    These two just need to break up and end it. Oh an Mike is a douche and his bomb at the Donald Trump Roast was CLASSIC!!!!!

  17. 17
    dazzyfresh
    Posted March 22, 2011 at 10:00 am

    I agree with Rosalind-that Rammi situation makes US physically ill, so im sure it took away from Pauly’s “The Pauly Shore” shtick (you like that, thats GENIUS lol). As for Mike, whoever mentioned about the spotting and shine is 100% right-he looks like a brand new car, except he depreciated years ago.

    This was a dry episode, and it does feel like a fill in to the not so anti-climatic finale as now its going to be another Rammi situation (WHYYYYYYYY?). I agree w/ Considerthis-Rammi and Sitch ruined this show…Megadouche Vinny irritates me, Pauly should go solo w/some new friends (take JWOWW) and now that Snooki is heading to Wrestlemania and has WAY more popularity, will Vinny capitalize on her cashcow vagina?

  18. 18
    mere2142
    Posted March 22, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    I agree with Jess – I have no sympathy for Ronnie. I don’t feel bad for him, not even for a second. I will never believe that it is okay to destroy Sammi’s stuff, not matter how much I hate her (and trust me I do). And where was the wine? Ronnie said, let’s get wine and stay in not ‘i’m going to stuff my face while you pathetically and repeatedly apologize to me for doing nothing wrong’. Or did he mean ‘whine’ cause there was plenty of that going on. Those two assclowns are meant for each other. Watching their sham of a relationship play out on tv each week makes me glad to be single!

  19. 19
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted March 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    Ronnie’s drunk mom needs to team up with Audrina’s drunk mom and host a show. I’d love to see them chain-smoking cigarettes as they try to one-up the other on the merits of their offspring.

    “My Ronnie is so strong! Did you see how easily he lifted that bed? There was even someone sitting on it!”

    “Well, my Audrina is a star. She doesn’t even have to do anything either. Not sing, or act, or even dance that well. She just..is.”

  20. 20
    Jennifer Morrissey
    Posted March 23, 2011 at 9:25 am

    I could not stop laughing at Ronnie looking around for Sammi’s glasses so he can smash them again. Bravo.

  21. 21
    Tmurda
    Posted March 24, 2011 at 6:07 am

    OMG!!! I was OBSESSED with Jem as a kid! Iv’e mentioned Jem to other chicks my age when we’ve had conversations about 80s toys, and NO ONE knows what the fuck i’m talking about! Till NOW! yay. Anyway, although it is slightly satisfying to see sitch wander through the house by himself, I am forever pissed off that he never gets called out for anything. Like, um, always stealing Vinneys potential hoes, only cleaning up so that he can bitch at one of the girls for never cleaning, inappropriatly manhandling random chicks at the clubs, bossing everyone around about the night’s agenda, and DON’T FORGET-being the BIGGEST FUCKING INSTIGATOR/SHIT-TALKER in the house times 10! I still can’t believe that the other guys let him try to interuppt their smooshtime (cockblock) so blatantly and never even bring it up. Any guy I know would get his jaw broken for some shit like that. But they all let him get away with it, and that’s why he gets worse every episode. I miss Roger too. Lastly, I was with a guy who tried to pull the “but I told you what I did!” shit too, only he was asking me to forgive him for finger-bangin some chick just because he did’nt actually FUCK her. I laughed in his face and told him he was a moron cuz he shoulda just gone ahead and fucked her, cuz i’m O-U-T!

  22. 22
    sardini
    Posted March 24, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Ronnie is like a monkey. Mike tells him one thing, he gets mad and is ready to “do mad work”. Sammi tells him something about Mike, and he is ready to confront Mike. It’s like he only is able to process one thought at a time.

    I think they make such a big deal about the Arvin thing because either way, they want Rammi broken up. Plus, it’s just fallen into the pattern where the girls stick with the girls and the guys stick with the guys. So, it’s not that the guys truly side with Ron, it’s just their dynamic within the house.

    I hate how Vinnie leads Snooki on, and always gives her that glimmer of hope that *one day* there’s a possiblity that they *might* get together. I think J-Woww said it best when she told Snooks, “You look for love in the wrong people, and you build guys up to be people they are not…”

    I have to say, Snooki impresses me sometimes. Even though she’s gross about hooking up and whatnot, she definitely doesn’t like to be a last resort. Props for not running after Vinnie into his room. Also, she wouldn’t kiss Mike that episode in Miami where no girls were paying attention to him so he leaned in to kiss Snooki.

    And I feel bad for Deena. I feel like she is probably picked on 10 times more than we see, and she seems likable enough. What happened to MPVD?

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