I swear, this show gets more boring every week. Here’s the quick and dirty about what happened:
Mike: Is too much of a bitch to tell Jionni man-to-man about the alleged hook-up with Snooki, so he calls One-Inch to handle it for him. One-Inch is in Miami, however, so The Schitzuation (© snowshoecat) puts the Snooki plan on the back burner and instead shifts his focus to digging up dirt on Deena’s sister’s relationship with his brother. That guy is going to end up getting horribly, horribly murdered one day if he doesn’t stop playing games with people.
JMomm: Paul Bunyan keeps brushing her off, and then makes it all her fault by accusing her of having trust issues. Instead of dumping his ass, she apologizes.
Vinny: Is hoping to convert a lesbian to straightness through the mighty, mighty power of his penis (nothing can defeat the penis!) When that fails, he hooks up with a girl who is only “a five or a six,” and I begin to despise him.
Deena: Plays wingman to Vinny, keeping the not-as-hot girl on the string for him until he gets soundly rejected by the lesbian. She then keeps ditching work with Snooki and worries that she’ll get fired as a result. As if.
Snooki: Gets what just might be her first ever hangover, and my heart soars.
Pauly: Has an unfortunate looking stalker, and engages in a grenade war with Vinny.
Ronnie and Sammi: I’m pretty sure they were in this episode at some point.
Check back for the full recap in a couple of days. Until then, you can refresh your memory on all the previous Jersey Shore insanity here. As always, your comments are what brings this miserable show to life, so have at it!
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