Minicap: Jersey Shore

MiniCaps

By SuburBint | Friday, October 12, 2012 | 2:07 pm | 22 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,

If MTV keeps airing two episodes a week like this, I’m going to sue them for extreme emotional distress. I need time to process, people!

Here were the highlights of this week’s episodes:

Snooki — moves into her own apartment, which is literally right on the other side of the big house’s driveway. Pauly takes every opportunity to hand out on her front porch, never mind the fact that they have four different porch/patio/balcony thingies at home.

Mike — goes to get an injection that will block the effects of opioids and/or alcohol so that if he does fall off the wagon, he won’t get any fun out of it. He learns that Snooki doesn’t want to be his friend ever, ever again and reacts poorly.

Deena — is clingier than a baby opposum. She self-diagnoses Toxic Shock Syndrome. She cries on the phone to her mom. Girlfriend needs therapy. Maybe a little Prozac.

Vinny — has made himself Mike’s unofficial sponsor. Which is bad for a number of reasons, the most obvious being that Vinny’s anxiety issues and Mike’s addiction issues aren’t really the same thing at all. He confesses that he chose to be celibate while at the shore because there’s a girl he likes back home.

Ronnie and Sammi — fight, as shocking as that is.

JMomm — plans a surprise party for Rawdger, but he shows up 90 minutes late. Jenni handles this with her usual tact, grace, and diplomacy.

Also: Karaoke, a flasher, bull riding, the biggest fight ever in Seaside (per Sammi), and Rawdger knocks Jenni on her ass.

What did you guys think of these episodes? Weigh in below. Full recaps coming soon.

Thanks for reading!

<3, SuburBint

About

After giving birth to her fourth child, SuburBint carefully weighed the options and decided that recapping reality TV was probably a better choice in the long run than alcoholism. Liver function tests have yet to confirm the wisdom of this decision. Being an honest-to-goodness recapper is also a dream come true, as she has aspired to do this ever since discovering that such a thing existed way back in 2002.

Her favorite shows of all time include Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Coupling, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Firefly, Community, Parks and Recreation, Doctor Who, and Veronica Mars. She can also quote The Big Lebowski in its entirety, and will do so with little to no provocation.

 

22 Comments

  1. 1
    alicecarroll13
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 4:26 am

    it is good to see snooki acting right for a pregent girl..she seems to be caring for the child which is great..maybe this will change her forever..last week got tired of hearing mike talking about his self..sammie and ron future prison for which one of them kills the other!!! vinnie future cashier at walmart or stock boy at walmart..pauly…………that hair cut is getting old…all that tanning by the time he’s 30 he’s look 50yr old..
    jwwoww……..her fake boobs will burst and then her future husband will dump her..the duck phone will end up in some collection……at the end of the season one of those people should take it!!! have everyone sign it and put it on ebay!!!!

  2. 2
    featherhead
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 4:41 am

    Who punched Rodger in the face at the end? Was it Jenny? I rewound it and still couldn’t tell. Deena teefs look horrible, like piano keys and she now cannot pronounce the letter S. Why do these people do this to themselves?

  3. 3
    SuburBint
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 9:23 am

    @ alice — I think your predictions are spot on. We didn’t see a lot of Snooki this time around; I wonder how much of a presence she will have for the rest of the season?

    @ featherhead– I don’t know! I feel like I need to watch the whole fight segment in slow motion about 20 times in order to catch what is really going on. I think maybe it was one of the bouncers cos that’s who Rawdger was verbally sparring with right before he grabbed Jenni by the throat and threw her into the crowd. I would be pressing assault charges so fast if a guy did that to me, but I bet in the next episode we’ll hear all sorts of excuses from her as to why he didn’t really mean anything by it.

    I hadn’t really noticed any change in Deena’s S’s because I’m so distracted by the things that she’s saying. I’ll listen for that more closely. She did it to herself because she thinks that if she looks different she will suddenly also be different. It’s the “if I buy this new shade of lipstick, it will revolutionize my life” way of thinking (I think most girls have felt that way at least once about some new beautifying thing) turned up to 11. Poor kid, I think she’s the only reality tv star I’ve ever seen who actually suffered from low self esteem.

  4. 4
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    When will the full recap be up?? I’m reserving my comments until then. And I’m chomping at the bit here! I’m so glad this is the last season because they are just tired now, each and every one of them. MTV really dropped the ball with this JS concept, it should’ve been done like Real World, all new cast each season, just always in that shore house.

  5. 5
    carol
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    I am watching right now, why don’t these people chew with their mouths closed? On Snookie’s date, it was disgusting. Not only were they chewing with the mouths wide open but then they started talking while chewing. Not cool. They all seem to do it. It gets dangerous at Sunday Dinners.

  6. 6
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Oh, one thing I did notice, did Deena have some kind of mouth guard in when she was in bed moaning about having TSS, or was that a giant wad of gum?

  7. 7
    LadyStardust
    Posted October 14, 2012 at 1:15 am

    @ alicecarroll13: Sadly, Pauly D is ALREADY in his 30s.

    I’m 27 and when I watch this show I keep thinking these kids are like Real World age (18-23). Then I realize that half of them are actually OLDER than me (and at least two are into their 30s) I just get really, really sad.

  8. 8
    LadyStardust
    Posted October 14, 2012 at 1:19 am

    Okay, I just checked. Only two are older than me…the rest are about my age (I just turned 27 yesterday). But still, they act like they’re barely out of high school.

  9. 9
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted October 14, 2012 at 4:39 am

    @LadyS, at the age of 27, many of us have decent jobs, mortgages and kids. We are responsible adults, not pathetic, albeit wealthy, cases of arrested development.

    Just how much of that wealth do you think they will have retained by the time they are the ripe old age of 40?

  10. 10
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted October 14, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Jenni punched Rawdger after he threw her to the side.

    If they are engaged IRL after this happened…I will have lost the rest of my respect for Jenni.

  11. 11
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted October 14, 2012 at 9:50 am

    @Sheesh, I am amazed that you had any left.

    Or could RAWdger be that good an actor to be following the script?

  12. 12
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 7:32 am

    @SSC, I think you are onto something there…this season seems SO forced.

    Still we all know they are engaged IRL and that she will forgive him. If he did that to me…..ha….

  13. 13
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 7:34 am

    Also, are we going to be subjected to 2 hours of JS every Thursday night all season? I know this ship has long since sailed but I want to see it through no matter how bad but, 2 hours every Thursday night is just a lot to ask of us.

    Maybe MTV just wants to hurry up and end it like we do.

  14. 14
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 7:43 am

    @Gypsy, well I can’t do it. I have to wait to watch it on my ‘puter because I can’t stay up that late. Mommycat has her rules, ya know.

    Yeah right. Mommy Nature.

  15. 15
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 8:04 am

    LOL, I get that!

    I am a night owl and all but it’s too much to process like SuperB said.

    Thankfully I can catch it on the treadmill at the gym if I have to …(oh that was ironic )

  16. 16
    jp
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 8:50 am

    Waiting for the full recap as well!

    The Pauly and Snooki’s porch thing was funny though. After this many seasons he can still get a laugh so good for him! I wonder if there will be any new catch phrases or if that is already exhausted?

  17. 17
    Mrngstar
    Posted October 19, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    So where’s the recap? New episode already aired & still no recap from the previous week??

  18. 18
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted October 20, 2012 at 6:40 am

    I know! Where’s the recap? I don’t like the minicaps, they’re just teasers, and worse when the full recap doesn’t follow.

    That said, I know it’s difficult to watch and pick apart these shows, especially a double episode. So I will keep checking in and be patient. :)

  19. 19
    SuburBint
    Posted October 20, 2012 at 7:10 am

    I’m so sorry, you guys! My computer well and truly gave me the finger this week and I can’t even get online with it right now. If I can’t get it fixed by tomorrow, I’ll get Flipit to find y’all a new recapper because waiting this long for a recap is ridiculous. As it stands, I’m writing this comment from my iPhone. I tried writing a recap with my iPhone the last time my computer crashed, and it was an epic fail. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit!

  20. 20
    MissKris RTVfan
    Posted October 20, 2012 at 7:21 am

    Sorry about the computer, I can certainly relate! Yikes I can’t even imagine the time and trouble to put up a recap via iPhone. I love my iPhone but would never have the patience to essentially text in a recap. Hang in there, your recaps are great and I for one can wait :) .

  21. 21
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted October 20, 2012 at 8:13 am

    A recap on an iPhone? Holy Sorethumbs, I can barely punch in speed dial.

  22. 22
    Mrngstar
    Posted October 28, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    Boooooo!!!! Still no recap? This blows…..

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