Kitchen Nightmares Recap: Now He’s Done It

Gordon arrives at the restaurant and is impressed by the décor, but not the ambient fireplace or the nametags on the tacky uniform polo shirts. Server Amy goes right ahead and tells Gordon that Joe’s attitude is what’s driving the customers away, and right away Gordon is on edge. He’s starting to see that the laid back, passionate ranch owner may have a Hyde side. Also, contrary to his claims, he’s pretty fucking pretentious, what with his required words (making the servers announce the “features” instead of the specials, for example), random menu items, and exorbitant prices.

Server Bill comes wandering out, and Gordon gives him what seems like much appreciated permission to take his nametag off. He tells Gordon that Joe thinks his place is too good for the Podunk, Ohio, locals, so he doesn’t really bother to advertise or cater to the community. Gordon calls a staff gathering to dispose of the nametags, and they all gladly comply. Meanwhile, Joe is sort of mocking Gordon’s accent in the kitchen, which is never a good sign, and I’m sure this little display of disdain just scratches he surface of what we can expect from this dude.

Gordon is unimpressed with the onion soup, and isn’t too happy with the presentation of his oysters, either. Since it’s Ohio, I’m thinking that these oysters may not be part of the “everything is local” shtick. Before he can finish properly regurgitating his food, Joe shows up and offers to make him more onion soup, this time with more onions. Gordon points out that he doesn’t have four hours to wait for a new batch of onions to caramelize, so he’d rather just get on with hating the rest of his fine dining experience, such as the obviously frozen oysters and oil drizzle. Joe switches between arguing and offering to remake everything, but Gordon just waves it off. After Joe leaves, he and the servers have a cake funeral.

Then comes the Incident of the Micro Carrots, which is presented via an incredibly long sequence in which Gordon doesn’t understand or appreciate the presence of a micro carrot garnish on his scallop dish. Joe tries to justify it, Gordon hands him the carrots, and Joe gets offended that he’d be handed raw food in his own dining room by the likes of uppity-ass Gordon Ramsay. I thought you were used to Europeans, Joe. Joe takes his carrots and angst back to the kitchen, where he proceeds to torture a long-suffering Tom with his verbal outrage.

Gordon hates the scallops, ravioli, elk quesadilla, and every other damn thing as much as he usually hates the food in these ersatz “upscale” places, but at least a table of locals is amused by his reactions. Joe is pissed that Gordon hasn’t liked anything, and then makes an ultimate ass of himself by arguing with Amy about hot vs. cold food, and which should ideally be served to paying customers. Gordon is still sending stuff back, complaining that everything tastes frozen and horrible. Joe says people won’t eat properly prepared food because this is Ohio. Nice excuse, Joe. Also, Joe claims Gordon is ignorant about elk, and he plans to challenge him to an elk cook-off.

Please make this happen and broadcast it, Fox. Please.