K&K Take New York: Kim’s Grim

On a very special Kourtney and Kim, Dash NY is abut to open and Kim gets a chance to make sad face all episode. We also learn what it’s like to work for Scott Disick. Hint: It’s a little unsettling with side of demeaning. Kinda like watching this show.

I though Danielle Staub cornered the market on eating fries like a duck.

Kourtney and Kim are about to open their store and it’s taking a lot of work. Fortunately they are at dinner  and out of the way of the real workers who are actually getting the job done. Khloe calls and asks Kourtney to take her off of speakerphone so that she can tell Kourtney something that Kim wouldn’t quite understand.

“Remember how we didn’t shame our family and sully its name?”

Meanwhile, Scott announces that he is going to be on the cover of Men’s Fitness magazine in May and Matthew McConaughey will be on the previous month’s cover. Matt, get a new agent; you’re the bread in an open-faced douche sandwich. Kourtney and her assistant think that it’s strange that he’d be in the magazine because it’d seem they’d pick someone muscular, attractive and worthy of emulating. This 12 second photoshoot proves that Scott’s life is really getting hectic so he interviews a young man named Dale for the position of personal assistant. Dale has previous experience but unfortunately he also has rapist beard and white ankle socks which Scott finds unacceptable.

It’s like a reverse Pee Wee Herman.

Meanwhile, Khloe shows up, humps Kourtney and then puts her on her lap to read her a story. Yes. That’s how I greet my brothers all the time. Khloe wants to see the store so she and Kourtney head over to Dash and just leave Kim behind. I almost feel bad until Kim calls them. The first thing Kourtney says is “I thought you didn’t want to come.” She didn’t even wait to hear Kim ask her the question which means that they were just reading their lines or they knew that they were abandoning Kim on purpose and responded out of a guilty conscience. Kim isn’t happy but this is just a classic case of shutting out the most popular girl. I don’t blame ‘em.

In the car, Khloe comments on how perfect Kim is and how much of a rebel she is to really drive home the point that Kim’s the tragically beautiful outsider. The girls go put the finishing touches on the store (sliding hangers around) and Kim asks them to go to dinner but they refuse and Kim is upset that she’s not spending time with Khloe.

The next day, Scott is at his photo shoot and he needs underwear. Dale comes back with the only type he could find which were boxer briefs instead of boxers. Scott berates him for not doing his job well. Everyone is growing uncomfortable with the exchange and I actually almost believe Dale is embarassed and angry but Scott…not so much. It all seems like a 7th grade play.

Flash forward to the opening of the store! While everyone’s getting ready, Scott and Kim have a heart to heart about how he treated Dale and he looks like he gets the fact that he’s a horrible person. A little later, it’s Scott’s turn to give Kim advice when she feels left out at the store opening. He doesn’t think that Kourtney and Kim are being malicious and he talks to them about it. In their defense, Kim’s personality is about as exciting as watching an apple rot so I can totally understand why they don’t hang around her that much. I do that all the time with my friends. The uptight “I’m too pretty to laugh and/or smile genuinely” ones get left in the dust sometimes. Kourtney and Khloe acknowledge that the yget caught up in their own world sometimes because Kim looks at them like they’re strange when they start acting silly. They agree that they love each other very much and they’re like the Three Chipmunks. Kim is Alvin, Kourtney is Simon and Khloe is relegated to being Theodore (the chubby one). Kim is thrilled once she gets to be named head rodent and all is well in f’ed up sibling hierarchy world.

Now, to wrap things up in a nice pretty bow, Scott and Dale sit down to talk about what happened. Scott apologizes for his behavior and asks Dale to come back to work. Dale declines and tells Scott that he’s an egotistical, pompous asshole and walks out of the store. I would be proud of Dale except he played himself by shaving, wearing a pink tie and thinking that working for Scott Disick was a good idea.

So what’d you think? Not much meat in this episode. I’m actually longing for the days of walking sticks and faulty gay matchmaking. By the way, none of which showed up in this episode! It’s like Seven from Married…with Children all over again.