TV Social
Recent Comments
- Gypsy: Debbie Downer Alert: I asked the coach at the gym this morning to change the station since I...
- chooch850: On a side note…. As the upcoming Big Brother season...
- Classy Drunk: Omg! Agreed Plocky! I want to dislike Chris Brown but then he came out with that Fine China...
- juddfan: Thanks TT, and farewell for now . . . sniff . . . I was happy to see Candygirl get her...
- plockness monster: I feel the same way about Kayne as I do about Chris Brown…they’re both...
- Gypsy: Does Coral look like a Church Lady now or what? No disrespect to...
- Gypsy: THIS is why I deleted all of Kanye’s music. He’s a fake ass bitch. Sounds like...
- Classy Drunk: Lonely…I’m so lonely….
- chooch850: LOL! …you got me with the Jesse Pinkman remark! I’m still...
- chooch850: I’m still laughing at your photo...
-
Thursday, August 31, 2006
11:16 am
75 Comments
Like OMG! There was so much scandal on Laguna Beach last night! Kyndra and Cami totally crashed Raquel’s party, and then like that girl Stephanie called Cami dirty and then Kyndra made her cry and like Alex showed up and he was totally hot! But then it was like officially the lamest party ever, which was totally random, but like Kyndra had an awesome party at her house the next night and Cami was like “Did you hear what that girl said?” and Kyndra was like “Not again!” and her mom was like “I need to give Chloe a bath!” and Cameron was like “Don’t talk to me that way!” and Lexie was like “Rocky’s boyfriend is so hot!” and Tessa was like “Let’s watch Cinderella man!” It was so standard.
Yes, it was a tale of two parties in tonight’s Laguna Beach as gossip and scandal and tales of dirtiness tore at the social fabric of the community. With the Holidays descending on the beachside locale, the whole gang was supposed to celebrate with good cheer and merriment, but wouldn’t you know it? The Wicked Witch of the ‘Guna flew in on her broomstick and managed to make one girl cry, one boy bolt, and one sleepy show laughably awful, as usual. I’m talking about Kyndra, of course, and she was in typical bitchy form. Along with Cami (who never saw a camera she couldn’t pander to), the two queen bees of Laguna managed to be the grinches of this Christmas spectacular. They spent so much time trying to tear poor Raquel down that they completely missed the joy of the holidays: like totally kissing under the mistletoe! But not with each other! Ewww! Gross!As usual, this week’s show started with nasally, mousy narration from Tessa, who was still bemoaning her realization that the band was more important to Chase than she was. Yes, it’s hard to believe that wouldn’t be entranced by Laguna’s very own version of Hello Kitty, but alas, such was the way of Chase. So for now, Tessa had to busy herself as official Christmas elf, helping Rocky hang various Christmas lights on her deck. Easier said than done. Turns out that the mere act of plugging an array of light bulbs in required a keen knowledge of electronics and spatial orientation. Just ask Rocky, who managed to put the Christmas lights up backwards “again.” This of course begs the question: how many Laguna girls does it take to plug in a light bulb? Two. One to plug it in, and another to ask expository questions before staring off into space with music playing enigmatically in the background.
Anyway, as the girls erected this eighth wonder of the holiday decorating world, Raquel asked Tessa how her dinner with Chase went. You know, the one where she had ordered a rare fish called tuña (pronounced “too-nya”). Tessa merely shrugged and squeaked that “we’re better off just being friends.” That was good, considering they weren’t actually dating in the first place. That is, unless carrying on terminally boring conversations qualifies as romance these days.
Sadly for Tessa, any hopes of reversing the state of Chase affairs was dashed when she then revealed that the hirsute rocker would not be able to attend Rocky’s annual Christmas party. He had band stuff — you know, an important gig at the town gazebo.
Well, speaking of the Christmas party, Rocky revealed that unlike previous years, she didn’t send official invites out. She merely let news spread word of mouth. That being said, she then said she didn’t expect Kyndra to show up because she wasn’t invited. Well, yeah. She wasn’t invited because you didn’t send invites out. Funny how that happens.
We then segued into the opening credit and learned that this week’s show was called, “We’re Gonna Crash A Party!” I would have preferred a more holiday-themed title. Maybe something like “Rocky Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” And of course, the reindeer would be an allusion to Kyndra, on account of her doe-like appearance/intelligence.
Anyway, we were then greeted by the sounds of a punk Christmas carol — how very subversive! — and in some boutique in town, Kyndra and Cami talked about Kyndra’s upcoming Holiday party. They both agreed that Jessica would not be invited, and then Kyndra said, “Let’s go through the list: Derrick. Matt–”
“Kelan,” Cami said, regretfully interrupting her Master. Silly girl. She should know that no sidekick can cross such a boundary.
“NO! Let ME do it!” Kyndra snapped, keeping her sidekick in check. She then rattled off her party list: “Derek. Cameron. I love that guy.” And that was it. Two names. Good thing she insisted on doing it herself. Cami would be incapable of handling such an extensive list.
But there was still one lingering, pressing question: “What about Lexie? I like Lexie,” Kyndra said as Cami emphatically agreed. Let it be heretofore known: Lexie has been approved! She is LIKED!
With this rigorous exercise complete, Kyndra then proposed a new activity: “Let’s go get a coffee or something. I’m tiyad.” To which Cami replied, “I’m freezing.” Bitch, it’s Southern California in December. That means it’s, what? 65 degrees? And let’s not forget they were inside. Damn you, Cami, and your weak threshold for cold temperatures!
As the girls trekked up the street in search of warm fluids, Kyndra then talked about crashing Rocky’s party, despite the fact that they hadn’t been officially invited. Never mind that the two just created a list for their own party so as to keep crashers out. Apparently, only she’s allowed to crash people’s parties and not the other way around. I will say this, however: I wouldn’t want Tessa and her cloud of suck to show up at my party either. And I’m saying this despite my sheer love for entertaining guests who speak in squeaks and cutesy phrases.
Elsewhere in town, Cameron and his nameless buddies were all playing a rousing game of toss-the-football-in-the-basketball-hoop. Everyone wanted to know if he was going to Rocky’s party, but Cameron asked, “Are you sure she’s having a party because I heard she wasn’t.” Look, she put those Christmas lights up for this party tonight. Do you know how hard that is? You don’t just hang lights and then not have a party. It’s on, Cameron. Oh, it’s on.
The guys then all ragged on Cameron for apparently saying the night before that he’d rather hang out with Jessica than be with them. Makes sense. Last time I checked, his friends probably don’t give him blow jobs. But then again, that Kelan kid always seems to be trailing behind Cameron ever so eagerly… Nevertheless, as the guys eventually exited the basketball court, Cameron marveled at the social events lined up for him over the next two days. “Dude, tonight Raquel’s, and tomorrow Kyndra’s!” Like OMG! Two parties! It’s a bonanza of mirth and jocundity!
Back at Rocky’s dojo, the Chipmunks Christmas album was playing in full force — oh wait, it was just Raquel and Tessa talking to each other. Yes, the two girls were busy futzing around a kitchen, baking cookies and other holiday treats (despite Tessa’s tragic inability to locate the raisins). The banter of the day centered around Raquel, who just could not be more excited about a guy named “Alex.” You see, what was great about Alex was that he went to another school, but he was friends with E.J. (Yay! Who?) and therefore, he had ties to the Laguna community. How wonderful for him! Eventually, these two guys showed up, and Rocky bestowed her highest praise on this elusive E.J. character: “You’re looking SUAVE!” she said, adding “Meeee I want a huuuula hooop.” Seriously, they really sounded like Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Meanwhile, Kyndra and Cami hopped into an SUV and headed towards Rocky’s house. Even though they hadn’t been invited to her party and even though they absolutely despised her, they still thought they’d crash the event. Keep in mind that this is the second week in a row that these girls have had to endure the awful plight that is visiting Raquel’s house. But seriously, they’re too cool for her. They only attend these events for purely ironic, observational purposes. It’s not like they have some insecure need to fit in and reign over the social circles of their school at all times.
“I just don’t want her to think she can come to mine,” Kyndra said in the car, referring to her party the next night. This then led to a series of lame justifications for their behavior, resulting in Cami obnoxiously hamming it up for the cameras. Around this time, I was hoping their car would skid off into the ocean so we wouldn’t have to hear their middling claptrap anymore, but alas, they arrived at the party safe and sound. And what a party it was! There was like Domino’s Pizza and everything! And nothing says Christmas like Domino’s!
It seemed like everyone from school was at this fête, even Lexie’s friend Tara, who begrudgingly told Tessa, “You look really pretty.” She then added, “Now, let me go drive a spike through my head.” The big talk of the night was over this Alex fella, who apparently was Rocky’s boyfriend. All the girls salivated over him, even the ice queen Lexie. Surely Kyndra would be seething with jealousy. However, there were bigger problems for the Mean Girls to fixate on. Namely, a girl named Stephanie who was apparently starting vicious and awesome rumors. “She’s the one who said I am dirty,” Cami complained. What? Cami dirty? I refuse to believe this poppycock!
Cami is NOT dirty!
WELL. Cami did not take well to this rumor. Holding a cigarette outside, she complained endlessly about Stephanie to Kyndra, and as any good Master would, Kyndra decided to go regulate. She made a beeline towards this random girl and asked, “Did you say something to my friend?”
“No,” replied the bewildered Stephanie, who then tried to explain why she was innocent. It didn’t seem to have any affect, however, on Kyndra who asked that this girl then apologize to Cami. One problem: why would she apologize for something she didn’t say? Sorry, I know I just blew your mind, Kyndra. Well, suddenly there was lots of crosstalk that was hard to follow, and all I knew was that Stephanie said she didn’t come with Blair, whoever that was, and then there was more crosstalk and finally, Lexie proclaimed, “Oh my God! So much drama!” Everyone please settle down! You’re overloading THE LEXIE!
THE LEXIE IS SHOCKED!
Meanwhile, Cami complained to Rocky, “I’ve never met this girl before in my entire life!” to which Rocky replied, “So why do you care what she says?” Damn that logic striking again!
Later, after Kyndra was done haranguing that Stephanie girl, she retreated to her clique and resumed her regularly scheduled bashing. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation with Raquel ever, and now I am? Like, I don’t want to, and I don’t want to start now,” she said, apparently confusing social contact with leprosy. Methinks she’s jealous of Rocky. She probably wants her as a sidekick instead of Cami. Seriously, considering Kyndra’s supposed to be the coolest girl, how did she wind up with such a low-rent sidekick? It’s like watching Madonna driving a Ford Focus.
Anyway, the cockles of insecurity soon overpowered Kyndra as she seethed, “My Christmas party is going to be so much better than this. Mark my words.” Yeah, this party was so lame with “all its people having fun.” Whatevs!
And because the notion that someone like Raquel could throw a good party was all too devastating for Kyndra, she then set about undermining the event by asking Cameron, “Is this officially the lamest party you’ve ever been to?” He smiled and agreed, but to be fair, he kind of does that with everyone. Well, Kyndra decided enough was enough, and so she rallied the troops and left the partay, off to do something way cooler with her night — like read Cosmo or Staten Island Quarterly.
The next day, Tessa and Rocky sat at a bench, and in true Laguna fashion, they recapped the party. Once again, they reaffirmed that Alex was indeed hot, and then we learned that after her run-in with Kyndra, Stephanie wound up bawling in the corner. Even worse, Kyndra didn’t even bother saying hi to Raquel, the hostess of the event! Actually, that is poor form, but I can’t say that I’m really surprised. The two girls then pondered going to Kyndra’s party that night, but unlike Kyndra and Cami, they had no insecure need to keep an eye on all social events in town, lest their social rank begin to plummet. As a result, they decided to skip the event and do something else with their boring lives.
Meanwhile, over at Kyndra’s house, she and Cami talked about how badly they didn’t want Rocky and Tessa showing up at the party that night. Sitting next to them and eagerly listening in was Kyndra’s mom, Karen, who seemed to vicariously soak up this teen drama as if it were the vital life force to her aging body. Never once (according to the editing) did this woman tell her daughter — “Hey, maybe you shouldn’t be so judgmental” or “Hey, don’t be so mean to your classmates.” Instead, she just sat there, feeling like one of the girls. Paging Amy Poehler…
“I love my daughter’s life.”
Anyway, Cami justified their party-crashing once again, this time saying it was payback for that BBQ at the beginning of the season. Of course, what Cami seems to have forgotten was that Tessa was actually invited to the barbecue. Blast that logic striking again!
Kyndra then relived her golden moment from Rocky’s party, saying, “Did you hear me? I was like ‘Round up the troops! We’re leaving!’” Oh, it was a classic Kyndra moment! People will be talking about that move for years! It’s going in the Kyndra Tome of Notable Quotables! Right next to that one time she answered the phone and said, “Kyndra speaking.” ANOTHER ONE FOR THE AGES!
Cami then retold the story about how she complained to Rocky about Stephanie, except in this iteration, Rocky had gone from patient and sympathetic (how we saw her in reality) to a head-swiveling bitch from Chino. And let me say that no one enjoyed this story more than Karen, who let out a little, possibly drunken chuckle. It doesn’t get much better than this, does it, Karen?
“Good one, Cami!”
We then learned the REAL reason why Rocky had been so offensive: she had refused to become a painted lady! “I’m surprised she had no makeup on. She had NO makeup on!!!” Cami declared as if Rocky had been prancing around the party nude. Even more intolerable was her apparel. Kyndra bashed Raquel’s outfit, which consisted of a Santa hat, a white bra/top, and a red skirt. GOOD GOD!!! What was the girl thinking! Wearing red and white at a Christmas party??? And a Santa hat??? Bitch has to get a grip!
Well, as Cami drank from her goblet of cola, Karen finally made an announcement: “Alright. I’m going to give Chloe a bath.” You do that, Karen. Oddly enough, I’m pretty sure “Chloe” is her code name for “vagina.” Oh I kid! We all know this was just her way of saying it was time for another Valium.
Meanwhile, over at Rocky’s house, we finally got to meet the two wonderful people who had spawned Raquel: Tom & Robin (who will be played by Dennis Farina and Roseanne Barr when this is made into a movie). And by the way, I LOVE TOM AND ROBIN! Unlike all the other Laguna parents we’ve seen this season, they actually look like normal people with nary a touch of plastic surgery between them (although, Tom looked like he might have had a veneer or five in that grill of his).
Greetings from the Farina-Barr household!
Anyway, the doting parents smiled happily as Rocky, Tessa, and Alex wandered into the kitchen, ready to go out for the night. The scene quickly became awkward, however, when Raquel and Alex left for their date, leaving Tessa to simple sit on a stool with Tom and Robin. Um, shouldn’t you be walking to the door? Must you inflict your blandness on these people as well? Apparently. It looked like the three of them had an exciting night of watching Cinderella Man lined up. And let’s face it: nothing says “Rockin’ social life” like watching a DVD with your friends’ parents.
Well, with the Dashboard Confessional theme song to the dearly departed One Ocean View playing in the background, Alex and Rocky headed to a Mexican restaurant where they talked about how excited they were to be with each other. It was like watching Naomi Judd and James Franco on a date.
“Spider-Man killed my father.”
“Life is so exciting right now!” Rocky then said, adding, “Like we’re in a Mexican restaurant! Could life BE any more thrilling!!!!” Okay, she didn’t say that last part, but she did ramble on about who knows what, and since this scene was pretty much DOA, let’s just move onto the real meat and potatoes of the episode: party #2!
Yes, Kyndra was throwing her party, and already we knew it was sooo much better than Rocky’s because a) there were less people, and b) there were sandwich wraps! Way cooler. Sadly, I didn’t see Karen happily hanging out with all the kids. I’m surprised she wasn’t dancing around with a glass of red wine, doling out Jell-o shots to all the pliable young men in the room.
Cami, meanwhile, was still smarting over StephanieGate 2005 as she told the whole story from last night’s party once again to Lexie and Kyndra. Newsflash to Cami: THEY WERE THERE. At one point, Cameron showed up, and of course, Kyndra draped herself on his neck, saying, “Cameron, thank you so much for wearing a collared shirt. That really means so much to me.” Who knew she had a collar fetish? I don’t even want to think about what would have happened had he worn a turtleneck (cut to Kyndra passed out on the floor, foam spewing from her mouth and her body shaking).
Meanwhile, Lexie dismissively rolled her eyes at Kyndra, saying, “Oh. She’s creeping on Cameron again.” THE LEXIE DOES NOT APPROVE!
“I am AGHAST!”
Conversation then returned to Rocky’s boyfriend, and once again, it was agreed that he was very hot, and perhaps his biggest fan was Rachel, a.k.a. Bernice (which is how she will always be referred to, on account of her New Jersey/Bernice-ish appearance). While the girls talked about Alex, the guys talked about Jessica. They wanted to know from Cameron if he was dating her or not. He said no, but we knew otherwise. As for Cami, I kid you not, she commenced her forty-fith retelling of the Stephanie crisis, and by now, her story was probably so exaggerated, it probably included some sort of knife fight, an alien abduction, and Osama Bin Laden.
At one point, Kyndra asked Cameron if he was going to see Jessica, and he snapped back, “That pisses me off!” Huh? She really did only ask him a simple question, but apparently he didn’t like the inflection. He stormed out of the party, causing murmurs all around. “Is Cameron SERIOUSLY walking out of Kyndra’s right now?” asked one shocked girl. No one EVER walked out of Kyndra’s parties! SHE HAS SANDWICH WRAPS! Another girl then commented, “He’s walking out of Kyndra’s. That’s creepy.” Yes, it chills me to my bones! It’s like watching The Shining all over again! Don’t leave, Cameron! It’s ever so frightful!!!
The next day, Tessa lumbered into Rocky’s bedroom and asked how her date went (so the Master becomes the sidekick!). Does Tessa ever leave Raquel’s house? Did she spend the night? Anyway, Raquel then informed Tessa that Cameron walked out on Kyndra last night. OMG! No he DIDN’T!!! Scandal!
We then went over to Kyndra’s house where I half expected to see Karen passed out on a platter of wraps. Sadly, we saw no such thing (doesn’t mean it didn’t happen). Cami and Kyndra sat outside and bashed Jessica and the way she seems to always claim men, ie. “I dated him in sixth grade, you can’t go after him!” Of course, let’s not act as if Kyndra probably does the exact same thing. Oh well. She’s just a bitter old wench in training. What can you do.
Elsewhere in the ‘Guna, Cameron and Jessica were enjoying lunch, talking about the whole party incident and whatnot. At one point, Cameron actually gave Jessica an unsolicited compliment, causing her to say, “That was nice.”
“I’m always nice,” Cameron replied. Dare I say, it was actually a sweet little scene? I found it mildly shocking to see someone treating Jessica well, and in turn, her not acting like a lunatic. Maybe they were just caught up in the Christmas spirit. Later, as they hopped in Cameron’s car, Jessica then flashed her trademark neediness by asking, “Would you be sad if I died?” Ah yes. Young romance. God bless it.
What did you think about this episode? Which party looked better? And what’s up with Kyndra crashing Rocky’s party but not allowing Rocky to crash hers?
75 Comments
Either I am just getting too mature to watch this show, or this season is extremely boring. I’m guessing the latter.
yipee, I am first, for the first time ever.
nothing really to say about the show, well except the drama seems so contived this season
nflow:
I’m sorry to ruin your first time! If it makes you feel any better, it was my first time ever too.
you are absolutely hilarious.. looooove the recaps!
Great re-cap. I am going to be in trouble at work because I laughed so hard and of course I should be working INSTEAD of reading TV GASM! I cant stand Kyndra. Someone needs to punch her in her face…that would be great. A GIRL FIGHT ON GUNA! TESSA VS. KYNDRA…ROCKY VS. CAMI!
First off, peace to the kid.
Another classic recap B-side. I think the novelty of this show is finally starting to wear off. This cast and their so called “drama” couldn’t hold the jockstraps of the previous casts.
I love the reference to Cami as a low rent sidekick. Anybody ever notice that Cami is always at Kyndra’s house, always riding in Kyndra’s car and not one male has ever even spoken a word to her on camera? For somebody who thinks she’s the s**t, a reality check might be in order.
Cami should lay off Rocky’s make-up, the only reason Cami wears her war paint 24/7 are to cover up all those forehead zits.
I don’t ever want to see another profile shot of THE LEXIE, that nose is brutal.
Cameron’s new nickname is “The Big Face Guy”.
I am glad I’m not the only one who didn’t hear what Cameron said to Jessica. I rewound it 5 times and I’ll I got was “you.”
“Kyndra’s supposed to be the coolest girl, how did she wind up with such a low-rent sidekick? It’s like watching Madonna driving a Ford Focus”"
B-side,
Funniest. Line. Ever.
“As for Cami, I kid you not, she commenced her forty-fith retelling of the Stephanie crisis, and by now, her story was probably so exaggerated, it probably included some sort of knife fight, an alien abduction, and Osama Bin Laden.”
LMAO I swear to god, I have never laughed so freaking hard to something Ive read online until I read that. I watched the show last night, and that bitch cami, needs to pimp slapped, If a girl like that went to my highschool she would be made a muckery of no doubt thanks for the recap I love them!
Okay, am I the only one who thinks Tessa is cute??
Go Rocky wit your cute boyfriend!!! I hope he really likes her (and is not just trying to get on tv)
Ha-ha Cameron likes Jessica-but how immature is he that he keeps claiming he doesn’t???
Oh yea and how funny was it when Kendra kept cutting Cami off from telling her story.
A few comments/questions for you B-side…
1. Raquel singing the Alvin and the Chipmunks song = clever and hilarious AND probable.
2. I meant to comment after the first episode, but B-side, why did you not mention Jessica using the phrase “butt hurt” when referring to Kyndra? Is this a common saying in California? Regardless, it was funny and it should be banned.
3. Although the name Bernice does fit Rachel perfectly (being that she looks like a 40-year-old chain smoker), I must say that I live in New Jersey and the girls here DO NOT look like that. The skanks from New York City that come to the beach every summer… THEY look like that!
By the way, I scared my mom because I was laughing so hard at this recap. Keep up the good work.
Great title, B-Side. I also would have accepted some variation on the Waitresses Christmas Wrapping.
I was particularly horrified by Karen’s behavior in light of the fact that Tessa and Kyndra had been best friends for years. But then again if I’m looking for positive parental role models, LB is not the place for it.
Regarding “butt hurt” in cefisher82′s comment, I’m a native Californian and I never heard it until I moved to Arizona. My girlfriend said it a couple of times and I declared it “mind-numbingly banal” and mocked it’s use incessantly. I found this strategy quite successful, and I suggest you employ it.
I did hear it on some other show recently (RWRR Challenge, maybe?) and I fear it joining our social lexicon unless it is stopped.
Please, think of the children.
Lexie should stick to glaring at people. She literally scared me when they showed her smiling. It was weird. But I realized who she reminded me of when I saw the first picture of her. The green guy from SpiderMan. Green Goblin or something? So, then, when I kept reading and saw the Peter Parker reference, I thought that was weird. Maybe it even creeped me out…almost as much as Lexie’s razor sharp teeth.
But, I had to admire the fact that Rocky’s parents did look totally normal. It was nice to see real people and not these molds of what people think they should look like.
And a lot of these girls look really, really old. A phrase that might be used around here to describe them might sound something like, “she looks like she’s been rode hard and put up wet.” Yes, I said “rode.” Regardless, it’s not a compliment.
Tiffany I am with you, I think Tessa is adorable, although I certainly laugh at B-side’s blandness comments. She is just a very nice girl who tries not to say anything bad about anyone, which does not necessarily make for great TV. (Rocky is the same way) Both of them are just good girls, think about it when Tessa and Rocky want to do something for boys they give then cookies, at the same time when Kyndra wants to do something for boys¦ she gives them crabs. But then again what can you expect with a Val’ed up mom and such a low rent side kick.
B-Side, I was like some junkie this morning, constantly checking the corner for my dealer. Where are you B-Side with my Guna re-cap??? At last, sweet relief.
It was worth the wait.
I keep saying, “that’s it. These bitches are over the top. How can I keep watching this show?” But, alas, I do. I am now so pro-Kristen its amazing (Kyndra can’t even pretend she’s in Kristen’s league).
The two photos you have of Kyndra’s mom are SO creepy – look what happens when you smush fake boobies together! Its frightening. Yay for Rocky’s ‘rents. Not only do they look silicone-free, but they seem like nice people.
One reason the parents are showing up so much more this year may be the outrage in the media about the two previous seasons. It was as if none of those kids had a Mom or Dad or any adult to whom they were at all accountable. I kind of liked that angle, though, because that’s the kind of community teens fantasize about living in – a Parent Free Zone (as long as there are still credit cards paid for by someone else).
That scene in the boutique with Cami solidified it: Kyndra is the meanest, nastiest, snottiest, ugliest thing ever. EVER. No wonder Markie Post a.k.a. Kyndra’s Mom douses herself in gin….
Three things:
How can Rocky go against the Laguna code and have a boyfriend that isn’t a member or former member of the cast. I half expected her to go out with Talan, Dieter, or Polster…after all the Guna could use some more Polster.
Speaking of former members going out with current cast was I the only one who hoped Cameron would have responded to Jessica’s “What would you do if I died?” by saying “I’d find Kyndra and have sex on your grave!”
Finally Cameron is the spawn of the Pillsbury Dough Boy and Martha Stewart.
I must (once again) profess my undying love for you, B-Side. I’ve only read the opening paragraph, and I know that this will be a classic recap. You are so smart and funny, not to mention the fact that you have the quickest recap turnover rate ever. Plus you’re a hottie. Will you marry me?
Kyndra (ugh, the spelling of her name!) is vile. Everything about her is so unattractive from her ho nails, her black roots, her wretched personality to her need to accessorize like Carmela Soprano. How are we supposed to believe that she and Cami are the alpha-females of the show when 3 times as many people show up for Rocky’s parties? Seems like Kyndra and Cami are the “popular” girls that no one actually likes.
Great job as always, B-side, but this season absolutley BLOWS. What were they thinking when they casted Tessa?
Two-a-days, though, is actually pretty enjoyable…
The only thing that can save LB this season is adding Kyndra’s mom to the cast…she’s the only enjoyable part of this show
Love the Madonna/Ford Focus comment. Until recently I drove one myself.
& thanks for the names of Rocky’s parents. I noticed his Harley shirt and name patch, and wasn’t sure if he was one of those bourgy rich guys trying to be biker or what. Alternatively I was intrigued that a mechanic could afford a mountaintop house in the LB.
So I Googled “Tom Donatelli” & found this
Could you be having a heart attack and not even know it? That wasthe case for Laguna Beach resident Tom Donatelli. As an active 44-year-old man, Donatelli was rarely sick and figuredhe was a healthy guy with a healthy heart. True, he wasn’t the healthiest eater and he smoked, but a heartproblem was the last thing on his mind on December 7, 2002.Donatelli works as a specialized mechanic building custom HarleyDavidson motorcycles at The Harley Doctor in Costa Mesa. OnDecember 7, Donatelli went to work, as part of his normal routine, but the day was anything but normal.
Now that I know Rocky is a blue-collar girl (well, sort of), I like her even better.
I was hoping the title to this recap would be “It’s My Party and I’ll Calmly Mediate A Fight If I Want To.” I think Raquel did a really great job of trying to get Cami to shut up and drop it without reminding them that they weren’t even invited in the first place, so if they hadn’t come, no one would have called anyone dirty and we’d all be happy.
Loved how Kyndra kept interrupting when Cami was re-telling the story. PS Does Cami know that the whole thing is on tape and she completely exaggerated every detail, so everyone knows she was in the wrong? Hope so.
I think what Cameron (who is not nearly as hot as everyone thinks he is) said to Jessica was something along the lines of, “You look really cute right now.” Their interaction in that scene was pretty believable, but I also liked Rocky and her boyfriend – it seemed like they really were into each other, and it was a nice change from the Jason-LC silent meals we’ve been forced to watch.
Thank you B-Side for another awesome recap.
LMAO at Nothing says Rockin social life like watching a DVD with your friends parents. I feel bad for Tessa. Why is she such a social outcast?
Thank God there are normal parents like Tom and Robin in Guna.
Umm…Kyndra there were way more people at Rocky’s party and it looked more fun.
I don’t like this cast at all they don’t hold a candle to the last two seasons. Why I keep watching I don’t know!
Maybe if Rocky booked Chase’s band, the holiday party would have been more “raging”…
For all you ‘Guna addicts, Open Air Stero has a website (www.openairstero.com).
They also have a MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/openairstereo). Looks like Chase is getting all hardcore with his long hair now.
Cami is not dirty, she’s FUGLY!!!
Coletti (Stephen), Cavalleri (Kristin), Torriero (Talan), and now Donatelli (Raquel). I don’t know last names of others in the current cast, sounds like being of Italian descent gives you a leg up with the producers.
Thanks for the info, TwinFalls. Rocky’s a sweetie. Glad her Dad made it.
I watched the first two seasons mainly out of curiosity but I also liked watching those kids. These girls are just plain bitchy (and not in a good way) and not even interesting to watch. And the guys aren’t any better. So while I’ll probably check in on the recaps every week, I don’t think I’ll actually be watching anymore.
This of course begs the question: how many Laguna girls does it take to plug in a light bulb? Two. One to plug it in, and another to ask expository questions before staring off into space while music plays over her.
I just wanted to let you know that I plan on telling this joke because I enjoyed it so much!
Okay, my fellow TVgasm/ LB fans…I was part of the LB season 2 posters last year, and back then my screen name was “LV_Biatch”…
I am telling you all this because I was the one that was going down to LB to watch Dieter finish his charity run for RH4T & I promised to relay all that happened…
Well, LIFE happened, and I haven’t had the ability to post and let you all know how it went…until now! I didn’t want you all to think that lv_biatch (now prplpxe) was a flake!
I have some pics on myspace if you want to check them out. Anyone curious enough to want my full report on what I saw and heard, message me and I’ll fill you in. =)
As for season 3…all I can say is THANK GOD I can get my LB fix from my season 1 & 2 dvds…this cast is a joke!
I agree with Tiffany that Tessa is NOT plain. She is probaly one of the prettiest girls so far! All the complaints of LB not being diverse enough, and here we finally have an ethnically mixed lead, and we bash her for being boring. Shame on you, B-Side! I usually agree with your opinions, but you are of base with this one.
Now, her voice is another
thing…..
B-Side, I love you. You’re the best darn recapper ever.
P.S. Cami is dirty.
I think I’m going to stop watching this season. I hate the mean girls, and the others are all so bland. I like Rocky, but one likable person isn’t enough to save a season.
Lexi seriously looks like she’s wearing a grill in those pictures.
b-side…will you marry me
Is it wrong of me to hope that Kyndra and Cami both get hepatitis from a less-than-sterile mani/pedi?
They’ve picked the two extremes this season: nice girls with minimal conflict (read: interest) and raging hyena-bitches that almost make me want to call them the c-word. Shame on you, producers! An easy formula does not a great show make.
well all of us seem to agree that kyndra and cami are raging witches. and we’ve all wondered at least a tad, why Tessa is the lead. well, we now know it could never have been kyndra or cami, cause they don’t actually have friends, just their tiny clique whose members hardly even like each other, much less anyone else-except for the boys, and they don’t ‘claim’ them at all! No, not in episode 1 when Kyndra said specifically that the boys were “like ours, cackle cackle” while making fun of the people that actually have socially acceptable behavior. No she wasn’t claiming them! I think K and C actually hate themselves or something. Everything they diss others for, they do/say/act themselves, but they’re too shallow to realize it.
The james franco thing had me tearing from laughter! Abso-tively hillarious re-cap. But just one intsy thing I have to nitpick at, their names are spelled Kelan and Lexie.
This season is seriously dissapointing me but the previews for next week’s episode are looking pretty good. Atleast it’s the return of LC!!
*sigh* I really miss the old Laguna Beach b/c this season is just really not gettin it 4 me. I mean It’s enough to keep you watching because you just cant wait to see how Kyndra and Cami are gonna act and who they’re gonna fight with but that’s about it.
The supposed romances on this season are just boring. The whole Cameron/Jessica situation is just sad on Jessica’s part. I mean come on girl… move on from high school. Rocky and Alex is a cute match i think but we all know it’s not gonna last. As an answer to B-side’s question, both of the parties seemed kind of lame to me but if i had to pick i would definitely rather go to Rocky’s. Kyndra had like nobody at her party and it was all her fault. Maybe if she didnt insist on keeping everybody who doesnt fit her superficial standards out… she would have more friendz (true frendz) and more ppl at her parties.
Cami annoyed the HELL outa me at Kyndra’s party going on and on about what happened at Rocky’s party. This is obviously a girl who loves drama no matter how pointless and small and will stretch the tiniest story until she makes it look like a huge thing and milk it dry! Haha i thought it was so funny how Kyndra basically embarrassed her when she kept interrupting the story and then gathered everyone and left Cami sitting there like an idiot haha! Oh wow what a friend. I guess she just didnt want everyone to realize how truly lame her little sidekick is.
Kyndra’s mom also kind of getz on my nerves lol. She seems way to fixated on her daughter’s life. Almost to the point where it’s creepy. She’s definitely not a very good role model and it looks like she needs to do about as much growing up as her daughter does.
I was expecting so much more damn those commercials. It was kinda lame how Rocky and Tessa are literaly scared of Cami not so much Kyndra but Cami what is it because she’s black do they really believe all black girls know how to fight. Someone needs to develop a back bone and really tell Cami and Kyndra what they really think of them. A good cat fight some type of action going in this show. The cast is horrible. Next week LC sister cry’s over Tessa how stupid is that. And why Cameron got mad at Kyndra that was so stupid whats wrong with Jessica she’s pretty and a older woman who is experienced are these guys kidding me I thought they lived for that. Well in LB guess everything is backwards and stupid.
My god, Cami is so annoying. I love how she kept exaggerating her story more and more. She made Raquel seem like she was being rude, when I thought Raquel was being pretty nice to her, considering the fact she wasn’t even invited in the first place.
Hilarious recap as always, B-Side. You are my hero.
so i loved the interruptions when cami was trying to tell her story.
also, when kyndra asked cameron if it was “the lamest party he had ever been to” it was definitely voiced over to make it seem as though that’s what the conversation was.
Ugh, megeret stole my question. Oh well, you can never get too many marriage proposals in a day. Marry me?
Kyndra’s mom was a total tramp! It’s how I picture Kyndra in oh… 10 years. Viva plastic surgery!
Jessica does need to move on. So, she may be a year younger than all her friends (effectively she should be a senior when this was filmed) and Cameron is supposedly an old junior. Hmmm…are they the same age then?
Are any of these kids seniors? I think most of them are juniors which could explain why the ‘rents are around so often.
I loved how Kindra (I’m now pronouncing it how it’s spelled; that’s what she gets for having a retarded trendy spelling) was so proud to repeat her “Round up the troops, we’re LEAVING!” remark like it was the greatest burn ever.
Tiffany I think Tessa is cute too. Definately not a plane jane… seriously what high school do u guys go to if you think she is? o_O
Cami is soo annoying always playing up for the cameras. It ruins the “reality” part of the show.
“As for Cami, I kid you not, she commenced her forty-fith retelling of the Stephanie crisis, and by now, her story was probably so exaggerated, it probably included some sort of knife fight, an alien abduction, and Osama Bin Laden.”
Regardless of the her embellishments, you can’t expect Cami to keep up with current events, political intrigue, or the leader of al Qaeda who wants nothing more than kill us all.
Bitchery takes a lot of out her, she doesn’t have time for such frivolities.
First time long time, as they used to say in radioland. B-Side, your recaps are hilariously entertaining!
“But then again, that Kelan kid always seems to be trailing behind Cameron ever so eagerly…”
I’ve got a question. How come Kelan, also a member of the raging Laguna phenomenon stereo-something (something-stereo? I forget), is always free to pal around with Master Cameron and toss pigskin hoops, leaving Chase with all the mysteriously time-consuming ‘band stuff.’ Or is Chase just looking for reasons to avoid boring Tessa? Hmm, I smell intrigue.
Haha, check out all that horrible nouveau riche crap behind Kyndra’s mom in the screencaps. Please tell me they didn’t pay a decorator for that?
cefisher82 wrote:
“3. Although the name Bernice does fit Rachel perfectly (being that she looks like a 40-year-old chain smoker), I must say that I live in New Jersey and the girls here DO NOT look like that. The skanks from New York City that come to the beach every summer… THEY look like that!”
Hate to be the bearer of sad tidings, but I too live in New Jersey; and being a Chicago native who also happened to live in The Gooner for a 7-year stint, I can most definitely say that Bernice is VERY prototypical New Jersey (with the exception of my wife, of course).
ellen wrote:
“I loved how Kindra (I’m now pronouncing it how it’s spelled…”
Ummm, I think you mean you’re now spelling it like it’s pronounced.
As for Kyndra’s mom, I’ve never seen a more severe case of botox intoxication.
I realize others have taken note of Karen just sitting idly by, relishing in her daughter demonstrating every bad character trait known to humanity aside from perhaps thievery, but has it struck no one else that none of these parents (or even those they’ve hired to raise their children on their behalf) seem to greatly mind that their children not only appear to be conducting themselves so reprehensibly including allusions to smoking, alchohol, and serial monogamy, but they’re perfectly willing to let them do so broadcast to half the world.
I shudder at the justifiable backhands I would have received had my parents merely found out about HALF the shit I pulled during my high school years, yet I’d never once think of doing anything that would have been broadcast or made known that could shame my parents, family, or friends. Not even in the most remote reaches of possibility. Not ever. These little overprivileged and underappreciating brats and whores are only too glad to do so, and in a small town where it’s VERY easy to tell who’s who.
If the Great Quake ever hits, and ‘Guna drops into the Pacific Basin, it would be NO great loss indeed. Imagine when they start pumping out their own little brats out of wedlock….. I weep for this world.
Now having gotten that off my chest, and given Jessica’s willingness to serially humiliate herself at the hands of men who treat her like shit… does anyone have a phone number?
I know this is in poor taste…
+ 20 years =
My images didn’t show up.
But Lexie looks like Terri Schiavo to me.
Just a thought… Maybe Kyndra’s mom is in the show so much because she is the MILF of LB and hooks up with Cameron thinking he’s Val Kilmer?
Cami is a dirty bitch.
Can someone bitch-slap Stephanie for CRYING? !!! If you said it, stand by it. If you didn’t tell Kyndra to go f herself – BUT Don’t CRY!!
Kyndra is definitely jealous of Rocky and K’s party was lame. Love it that the guy she has the hots for (big face) left her place mid-party!
Can we print your recap and mail it to Kyndra?
PS Love Rocky’s parents! And love your comment about big face’s friends don’t give him blow jobs!! LMAO
[quote]Coletti (Stephen), Cavalleri (Kristin), Torriero (Talan), and now Donatelli (Raquel). I don’t know last names of others in the current cast, sounds like being of Italian descent gives you a leg up with the producers.[/quote]
Joeypotter is onto something here…Kyndra’s last name is MAYO.
Another italian.
Is that why they all look like chicks from Long Island!
Dude, you hit it on the head. Farina-Barr connection. Spiderman killed my father. Your hilarious.
The episode where Chase had to leave dinner with Tessa because “the band needs me” had me laughing so hard. What did they finally find a tune?
The episode where Chase had to leave dinner with Tessa because “the band needs me” had me laughing so hard. What — did they finally find a tune and have to let him know? Oh, and I definitely think he is gay.
Kyndra is one of the most insecure girls I’ve ever seen. It’s so sad that she kept stopping Cami from telling that stupid story over and over again not because she was annoying but because she was obviously mad that Cami was getting more attention.
I love how during the ritual morning after expository, she acted like she was over Cameron but the only reason she is is because he’s over her. It was completely obvious that she was being bitchy/jealous when she asked about her at the party and I was a little proud of Cam for walking out. The way they has it edited it seemed like he just got mad for no reason, but I have a feeling that she does that often. She thinks that she has a hold on him because he hooked up with her while he’s still dating Jessica but if she had half a brain she’d realize that he obviously more interested in Jessica since he’s (secretely) dating her and she was just a one time thing.
And cefisher82 I agree, Jersey girls don’t look like that. It’s the girls that come to the shore during the summer or try to get into the clubs that look all skanked up like that.
This season’s Guna is like finding sour milk in the ‘fridge.
You tell everyone it’s sour but people wanna smell it for themselves anyway.
LB Season 3: It stinks and I can’t help smelling it over & over
LOVE LOVE LOVE B-SIDE!!!
You’re recaps are “raging”
I have to give props to Rocky The Forgotten Judd for being a very gracious hostess during the K & C party crash. Probably a result of MTV editing, but it appeared that she tried to make her uninvited guests feel welcome and ignored their bad manners.
Most high school girls wouldn’t have been so polite. I was impressed.
Here’s hopin’ they wear her down and we get treated to a full on Rocky/Tess vs. Kyndra/Cami smack down later in the season!
But, seriously -
Doesn’t Rocky look like one of Naomi Judd’s spawn?
“It was like watching Naomi Judd and James Franco on a date.”
lmaooooo
Feed the wooooooorrrlllddddd!!!! Let them know it’s Christmas time again…
Nicely done, as usual. Two points:
1. Do we ever see Cami’s house, or is she always at Kyndra’s? MTV only willing to embrace diversity to the extent it has D-cups?
2. When Cami was retelling the Stephanie story at Kyndra’s party, Kyndra kept getting distracted and cutting her off. Happened like three times, and Cami began to get annoyed at it. Combined with the “No, I’m making the list” from Kyndra earlier, it seems like Cami is trying to become Co-Master and Kyndra is resisting.
I agree with Echo. It seems like Cami has HER place in Kyndra’s life and it isn’t beside her, it’s BELOW her.
hey what I wanted to say was Cameron and Jessica were talking bout his falling out with Kyndra and Jessica asked him if it was because kyndra was pushing up on him and denied her and he replies yes and jessica says why and he says “because that wouldnt be fair to you” and thats why she said “that was nice” B-side I love the recaps, the show is boring yet I still watch lol
farina-barr household….hilarious
No one saw Cami holding the cigarette?? And the fact that Tessa’s new bf looks possibly gay? Yeah I know I said Chase was too but c’mon he looks it as well! They shouldnt be leading girls on if they are.
And they said “Seinfeld” was a show about nothing!
The more I see of Kyndra and Cami, the less I like them and it has nothing to do with their appearances and everything to do with their behavior.
I get the feeling that Tessa is overly aware of the cameras and trying too hard not to say anything “wrong” which is the reason she is coming across so blandly. A lot of the cast seem much more camera conscious this season. Why is Cameron so reluctant to admit he’s sprung on Jessica? Well, obviously, she’s got tons of issues but she’s an improvement over Kyndra.
And yes, I saw Cami with the cigarette. DIRTY!
mellymel your terri shivo reference was funny as hell.
i think tessa is hot.
cami probably has real bad BO.
yuck. i hate this cast. who knew that the veterans of seasons 1 and 2 could suddenly seem so stellar by comparison.
‘cept, of course, Cameron. NOW i understand what all the vapid teenie-boppers see in this guy:
“I’M GOING TO PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE.”
Dude, I’m right there with you. He’s just a big dumb idiot folks.
Watching season 3 of Laguna is like watching season 2 of Sorority Girls: how can something so awesome turn into something so boring?
Next week had better be good, dammit.
This season sucks! The nice girls are boring and the mean girls are evil. The reason that Kristen was likable/fun was because she just ignored her enemies like they were too far beneath her to even acknowledge. Not nice, but not outright cruel. She actually had better things to do. These new chicks go out of their way to wreak havoc. They have no purpose other than to make others miserable. Pathetic losers. I really want to smack all of them. I also think Tessa is a beautiful girl. Gorgeous hair and stunning smile. Boring yes, but definitely a looker. Cami and Kyndra both look like old strippers. Yuck!
I just noticed that Cameron has got HUGE teeth.
Does anyone else think Rocky’s boyfriend Alex looks just like Ryder Strong from Boy Meets World?! Especially in the pic on this post…
God that Cami is so FUGLY and I think Kyndra’s nose is huge.As for Rocky and Tessa they seem to be really nice girls. Great recap B-Side