You Stay Classy, San Diego

Laguna Beach

By B-Side | Thursday, September 14, 2006 | 1:08 am | 54 Comments

tessaron091306 I gotta say, I loved this episode of Laguna Beach. Well, maybe “love” is too strong of a word, but I found it highly entertaining. We can probably attribute that to the total lack of Cami and Kyndra. I’m not saying this because both those girls are heinous bitches who make us all embarrassed for our high school days. No, I say it because both those girls are so cognizant of the cameras at all times that they only serve to distract us from the story. Plus, they never say anything remotely interesting at all — not that anyone on the show ever has any insightful commentary on anything. My only quibble with this episode is that it began a good two minutes early. MTV, in its infinite wisdom, jumped the gun with the airtimes, which meant all us Tivo users missed the opening scene, which not only is a dependable goldmine of comic possibilities, but also a source of important expository information. And of course tonight was the night when I needed some context the most. It took a good five or eight minutes before we had any idea what was going on. They were going to San Diego? For some event? With boys? Huh? Don’t worry. I’ll explain all…This week’s episode was blithely titled “Kiss and Don’t Tell!” (I added the exclamation point), and I couldn’t be more excited. Surely some scandalous lip-locking would be taking place, and thanks to the previews, we already knew it would involve Cameron and town pariah Tessa. Didn’t he know any better? Didn’t he realize that she was UNTOUCHABLE???

Well, after the opening credits ran, we found Cameron lifting weights in a cramped boutique gym annoyingly named, “The Art of Fitness.” Look, I know Laguna Beach was founded as an artists’ colony, but this is getting ridiculous. It’s not like people are using elliptical machines to power a pottery wheel. Anyway, we were then treated to a lovely close-up of Cameron’s armpit hair as he bench pressed enough weight to make me feel shame for my physical stature. Just when we thought we were in for a quiet scene of contemplation and sweat, Jessica suddenly popped up by Cam’s side and chirped “I’ll lift weights with you!” She then added, “I WILL DO ANYTHING WITH YOU. I NEED TO BE LOVED AND DOTED UPON!!!”

Unfortunately, Jessica didn’t realize what she was getting into. Working out with Cameron is no walk in the park. He handed her two twelve pound dumbbells, enough to strain even the strongest of bodybuilders. “Isn’t that a lot of weight?” she asked, eyeing the weights with deep fear.

“NOT FOR INCLINE BENCH!” Cameron snapped back. Looks like Jessica hasn’t quite honed the art… OF FITNESS!!!

Anyway, Jessica turned out to be a total pest in the gym (imagine that!) as she warned Cameron, “Don’t step on my Sidekick or my sunglasses or my phone!” The very mention of the word “sidekick” had me excited that Roz might show up, and surely, who would want to step on Roz? But it turns out she was merely referring to her T-Mobile Sidekick, thus ruining my brief excitement.

Well, Jessica continued to bitch and moan and generally sully the Art of Fitness. “I don’t gym!” she protested, clearly not realizing that she was, in fact, “gyming” at that moment. A frustrated Cameron tried to push all the complaining aside and gave her some weights to lift for twenty-five reps. “Twenty-five’s a lot!” she balked. To be fair, she can only count to eighteen.

After this workout from hell, a pissed Cameron walked Jessica to her car, and even though he was obviously annoyed with her, he still asked if he could sit in her car because, you know, it was really cold out (that’ll happen when you wear a sleeveless t-shirt outside in the middle of winter at dusk). The two got in the car, parked distractingly on an oblique angle, but I’m not sure these new environs helped, what with the windows rolled all the way down. Might be hard to preserve that heat if you’re letting all the cold air in. I guess Jessica’s still working on the Art of Climate Control. Or at least the Art of Windows.

“Can you check under your door, Cameron? I think I parked on a hobo.”

By the way, the fact that Jessica was driving around in a Toyota Corolla was shameful. How could she not have a luxury car? Her Laguna membership should be revoked. Take it to Mission Viejo, sister!

Meanwhile, over in Dullsville, or as it’s more commonly known, Tessa’s house, our narrator was hanging out with her semi-crush, Chase. At first I was a little distracted — my eye kept wandering over to the sepia-toned family photo on a nearby table. Apparently Tessa and her parents had gotten a portrait taken at Sears — in 1896. Anyway, Tessa and Chase had a boring conversation as usual, and we learned that she was going down to San Diego that weekend. Oh, and I believe Tessa was actually packing during this scene, which would explain why Chase was there. If there’s anything we know about Laguna kids, it’s that they LOVE watching each other pack!

Anyway, regarding the trip down to San Diego, Chase asked, “Are you nervous at all?” Huh? Why would she be nervous? And what would she be doing that might make her nervous? Damn you, un-Tivoed opening scene!

Well, turns out Tessa was nervous about this unspoken San Diego event. “Um, I’m a little bit nervous just because it’s been a year since I’ve done it,” she said. And again, I was left wondering what the hell was going on. What had she not done in a year? Go to the San Diego zoo? Lego Land? Sea World? The Museum of Man in Balboa Park???

Luckily, Tessa mentioned that she’d be going to ASR; so at least now that was all cleared up. Oh, but one question. What’s ASR? Time for Google! ASR is actually a trade expo for the action sports industry aaaand I’m already bored. Anyway, turns out Tessa hadn’t been to ASR since before she was sick (ah, the mysterious illness raises its head again!), but now she was going with Rocky and Alex and Cameron and his buddy Nick, who we hadn’t met yet. For whatever reason, Chase found this curious and asked what was up with Cameron. Tessa squeaked that she’d been friends with him for a long time, but then she later suggested that there might be something between the two of them.

“Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good deal,” Chase said in response, clearly covering up his own amorous feelings towards Tessa. Or at least, that’s probably what we’re supposed to think. We all know his love is one thing and one thing only: his band. And Kelan. But mostly his band.

We then headed to Raquel’s house, which is apparently perched atop an impenetrable mountain of cacti. No wonder Breanna stopped going to Rocky’s house. She probably was scared of the rampant cactus overgrowth!

Well, we heard a few words from Raquel’s mom, and then Rocky, Alex, and some guy named Stephen hopped in the car and headed off to San Diego, hopefully picking up Tessa along the way. Then again, if they forgot her by accident, that would be okay. Tessa could just spend the weekend watching Corrina, Corrina with everyone’s parents.

Meanwhile, in SUV #2, Cameron and this Nick character hit the road also, but not before we met Nick’s mom (who thankfully also looked pretty normal). We knew Nick would be a standup guy because as he left, his mother called out, “Nick, I love you so much!” It’s not like he was going off to England to study for three years, but the sentiment was nice nonetheless.

Anyway, as the two guys drove down to San Diego, they talked about Jessica, and it became very apparent that Nick was the sidekick that Cameron so sorely needed. Phew! It was getting a little dicey there for a while, what with Cameron flying solo and everything. Nevertheless, Cam said he was just sick of Jessica, and like a true sidekick, Nick backed him up and said he had to cut her loose. Cameron then said that he was going to hook up with whoever he wanted to, dammit, and once again, Nick was there to cheer him on. I liked this Nick fella. We need to see more of his sidekick capabilities. I don’t think he’ll ever be at Roz or Lo or Cedric levels, but he could certainly give Dieter a run for his money.

Birth of a sidekick.

“You think I should make a move on Tessa tonight?” Cameron then asked.

“What happens in San Diego stays in San Diego!” Nick replied, further exhausting an overused phrase. Look, it was fine with Vegas, and same for Cabo, but soon it’s just going to lose its value. I wouldn’t be surprised if people start saying, “Whatever happens at the supermarket stays at the supermarket!”

We then went into the San Diego Convention Center where we found Tessa modeling for a fashion line called Lucy Love (any relation to Lisa Love?). I could swear I’ve seen that Lucy Love brand somewhere before — maybe at one of those silly Laguna Beach fashion benefits? Either way, it was clear that the mysterious ASR event that had caused Tessa to be so nervous was this modeling gig. It also became readily apparently why Kyndra and Cami hated Tessa so much: she was a model, and they weren’t. That’s not to say that Tessa was a particularly good model. No, quite the opposite. She spent most of the time slightly hunched over, meekness oozing out of her every pore. But she looked cute, and Nick even commented, “Tessa’s really unique looking.” He then added, “I’ve never seen a girl with that color hair. What do they call it? Bru… Brunette?”

Cameron didn’t think Tessa was unique looking. No, he thought she was HOT! And at that revelation, we went to commercial. When we returned, we found Tessa and Rocky primping in the hotel bathroom, getting ready for a big night out in San Diego. Raquel seemed rather preoccupied with whether or not to iron her top, and while she examined her wrinkle status, the guys came by, drinking out of mysterious red plastic cups. Tessa and Cameron then spoke cryptically about some recent summer romance, and we learned that these two had in fact once dated. Yet another reason for Kyndra’s irrational hatred of Tessa. Bitch was jealous!

I had to admit, I really enjoyed the sexual chemistry/tension between Tessa and Cameron. I’m not sure if it’s because there seemed to be genuine sparks or if it was more because I liked seeing Tessa grab the guy that all the annoying girls on the show were drooling over. Slight cosmic justice.

Anyway, the gang headed out to a restaurant called Dick’s Last Resort where a rotund waiter livened things up by pretending to spill a whole tray of waters on the kids. However, all the cups were empty, which meant they all just got punk’d!!!

His cups runneth over!

“OMG! Toppling cups!!!”

“Yeah, I got you guys!” the waiter said triumphantly. He then pulled up his shirt and revealed the word “Taco” written across his tummy. “My name is Taco. Don’t get mad we don’t serve tacos. Taco serves you guys!” he said, and no, I’m not even making this up. Why anyone would want food from a guy who just bared his fat stomach is beyond me, but the kids were all entranced by this Taco man and his practical jokes (turns out they didn’t get punk’d. They got Taco’d!).

Isn’t this some sort of health code violation?

Even though it was highly obnoxious and fairly pathetic on his part (Taco was about thirty-two), he then began asking all the kids who was dating who. At first it seemed ever so slightly amusing, but then it became clear that he really cared. Taco, GO AWAY!

“How old are you guys?” he asked. The bigger question, however, was how old was Taco? I’m not even sure he was a real waiter. He could have just been some poor PA on the production that was forced to pull out some exposition from the kids.

Taco went away for about two seconds, during which I noticed that Nick was all pre-bibbed for his dinner (they hadn’t even ordered yet). Sign of a good sidekick: he’s always prepared.

In an awkward turn of events, everyone suddenly disappeared from the table for a variety of reasons, leaving Tessa alone to deal with Taco by herself. Believe it or not, the guy actually sat down at the table and asked for the real scoop on who was with who. Specifically, he wanted to know which boy she liked. At this point, I’d be like “Where’s your manager?” but instead, Tessa just smiled bashfully and revealed a little crush on Cameron.

Move over, Dr. Phil. It’s time for Dr. Taco.

Luckily, everyone returned to the table soon enough, which meant Taco had to leave. We then saw the kids all enjoying their meal, and each of them seemed to have many straws in their drinks. Raquel in particular left us wondering just how many straws she could have in one cup before she was satisfied. Perhaps each straw represented a cactus growing under her house.

“They’re mine! They’re ALL MINE!!!!”

Meanwhile, back up in the ‘Guna, Jessica dined with Roz, who had sadly turned into a dark brunette. I liked her blonde look more. Anyway, Roz asked Jessica to describe the perfect man, but they were interrupted when a very non-Taco waiter presented them with a lemon tart in a huckleberry sauce.

“Huckleberry. I didn’t even know that was a real berry,” marveled Roz, but before she could reflect on this culinary revelation, Jessica suddenly said, “My ideal guy…” Translation: Less huckleberries, more me!!!

Anyway, Jessica described her ideal man: blue eyes, brown hair, tall, muscular (a “man man,” as Roz said), baby face, someone who’s polite and respectful, and a guy who wants to walk her to her car and mean it. She then added that she wanted him to fly, own a unicorn, and drive a car that ran on starlight and dreams.

Back down in San Diego, the kids were back in the hotel room drinking liquid from those curious red plastic cups. Romance was in the air, as evidenced by James Blunt crooning on the soundtrack, and suddenly, Tessa and Cameron were on the bed making out. Behold Tessaron! Or Camessa! Whatever their union was called, it was clear that Jessica was the last thing on Cameron’s mind at that time, even if she was at that moment pining for him up in Laguna.

At what point did this hookup turn into a psychological thriller?

After the commercial break, we found Cameron and Nick waking up in bed (their own beds, not together. This isn’t Cedric and Jason we’re talking about here). Nick seemed absolutely thrilled about Cameron and Tessa’s hanky panky, and like a good sidekick, he reveled in his Master’s sexual conquest. He also expressed hope that the hotel might serve a free continental breakfast, but Cameron dashed his hopes, saying, “It’s The Hilton. They probably expect you to pay for your own breakfast, man.” Look, it’s not like you guys are staying at the Waldorf Astoria. Let’s not get carried away.

Meanwhile, Rocky and Tessa stood outside and stared at the San Diego bay, enjoying the view. If only they too lived by a beach…

Raquel then handed Tessa a cup and said, “So I couldn’t make that tea thing you always get.” You mean chai?? She then added, “I got you a cup of that dark drink with the caffeine that Starbucks specializes in. What’s it called again?” Okay, she didn’t say that, but either way, the girls sipped down their drinks, with Tessa making the sort of little noises my baby nephew used to make when he drank from his bottle. The two then recapped the previous night’s activities, and Tessa revealed that she actually liked Cameron. “I had a lot of fun with him last night. I think I’ll do it again,” she said, clearly not realizing that he was probably going to dump her ass for Jessica the moment they got back to Laguna. Let’s not forget, what happens in The Hilton of San Diego stays in The Hilton of San Diego.

Well, after a fun time at the ASR trade show, it was time to head back up north to the ‘Guna. “Finally, we get back to Laguna!” Nick said as he hopped in the car. Those eighteen hours away were tough! He and Cameron then had a discussion about his hookup with Tessa, but I was mildly distracted the entire time because a) the dome lights were all on in the car despite it being daytime, and b) Cameron looked like he was driving at warp speed down the highway. I know it was just an illusion with the trees out the car window and whatnot, but damn, he looked like he was about to launch into space.

Anyway, Nick did the proper sidekick thing and made Cameron feel fine and justified for his little Tessa tryst. He reminded him that Jessica was not one hundred percent committed, and therefore, it was okay to kiss other girls. Hey, he was a man, and he was entitled to be “doing your thing, you know. Doing polo, cruising around, partying!” Yes, he was one wild and craaazy guy, what with the polo and the cruisin’ and the partying! Lord help any girl who tried to hinder his pursuit of happiness!

As the show came to an end, Cameron and Jessica met up on a beach at dusk. She of course asked him about the trip, immediately questioning if he hooked up with Tessa. “I used to go out with Tessa,” Cameron revealed before sort of laughing it off. The two then talked about their relationship and how they act around each other. “I’ve never played one game with you in your life,” Cameron said, perhaps forgetting the lies he just fed her about not hooking up with Tessa that weekend.

Cameron also said he felt “sketched” around Jessica and was scared to get close to her. She replied with her own psycho-babble about how she reacts to boys, and ultimately, they held hands and resolved to just hang out with each other. I couldn’t tell if they were together or broken up, but I’d side with together, especially after the previews for next week which seem to show a saddened Tessa learning the hard way that what goes on in the eastern-most bed in Room 12A of The Hilton of San Diego stays in the eastern-most bed in Room 12A of The Hilton of San Diego.

What did you think about this episode? Do you like Tessa and Cameron together?

Comments (54)
More About Author

About B-Side

54 Comments

1

remford

Posted September 14, 2006 at 2:42 am

Someone’s gotta be first…
2

tater

Posted September 14, 2006 at 3:09 am

What happens in Whale’s Vagina stays in Whale’s Vagina.

Anyway I liked this show.

1) There was no rat pack and only one fruit loop.

2) Tessa was a little less boring this show. Of course that’s like saying watching grass grow is a little less boring than watching cement dry.

3) Cameron and all his muscles and abs the girls drool over still can’t lift that much weight. If I was on the show I’d be doing hernia inducing weight.
3

hilcat

Posted September 14, 2006 at 4:20 am

This was really the first episode this season that I enjoyed. I can’t stand watching the girls be mean to each other. Whatever the distinction was between how Kristen and LC got along, it was never painful to watch.

I thought Nick was annoying because he talked so much.
4

MissKatrina

Posted September 14, 2006 at 6:13 am

Wooooooo! More Roz! I like her new hair (which is probably her real hair).

Choppers needs to be up-front w/ Jessica. Not that such an act would stop her from stalking/obsessing, but it’d be the right thing to do.
5

wniffene

Posted September 14, 2006 at 6:38 am

I used to own a 94 Camry that ran on starlight and dreams. The fuel savings were great but the tail pipe emitted “Dreamweaver” and with time you realize that the money just isn’t worth that kind of aggravation.
6

Stefunny77

Posted September 14, 2006 at 7:07 am

B-Side–Funniest LB recap yet. I am at work and probably getting funny looks because I am cracking up.

That being said–where’s the fresh meat reunion recap? I gotta hear what you think of Cameron’s boobs!

PS. the driving at warp speed, and Taco being a health code violation comments were priceless.
7

lguser

Posted September 14, 2006 at 7:14 am

B-side, to fill you in on part of the 2 minutes you missed….
The opening scene was Tessa sitting with Rocky at some cafe, discussing their soon-to-come trip to San Diego. Tessa said that she was excited, and she said that there was even a restaurant where the waiters were rude on the customers “like, on purpose” and that it would be fun to go. Apparently people like to get crap from waiters and the place is famous for it.
8

Chani

Posted September 14, 2006 at 8:03 am

Im pretty sure the Taco dude was for real. There’s a Dick’s Last Resort in the touristy area of Dallas and every Halloween they all dress up as Dicks, with balls of course. They always sit down at your table and get all up in your business. it’s quaint.
9

Court_Love

Posted September 14, 2006 at 8:15 am

B-side,

I, too noticed that Cameron’s dome lights were on. Sidekick Nick (totally made a rhyme) must not have have shut his door.

And I agree Cami and Kyndra are annoying and need to invest in ProActive. Yuck.
10

JaxMcG

Posted September 14, 2006 at 8:30 am

Yes, Dick’s Last Resort is a horrible place. I went once and was the only one in the group who had no idea that is was a theme restaurant. Not good… I was rude back to the waiter who told me to get my own drink and he threw straws at me. There is one near my office and I routinely see people walking around with big paper condom hats that they make most of the guests wear… just what you always want to see on your lunch break.
11

criscogirl

Posted September 14, 2006 at 8:52 am

A couple of things:
1) Maybe I misinterpreted, but when Nick and Cameron were saying goodbye to Nick’s mom, were they at Nick’s house? Because they pulled out of a parking lot, which seemed odd if that was the house. I know a lot of the Laguna kids are actually middle(ish) class (Jessica is living in what used to be her beach house until her family lost their real house and that kid Jeff from last year lived in a trailor…there’s nothing wrong with that except for the perception MTV gives you that these people are loaded) so who knows what the deal is with this kid.
2)If you notice, Cameron is really smart (okay not really but in this situation). He says “I hooked up with Tessa, I’m not hooking up with Tessa”. Technically he never lied and its caught on camera that he said he did hook up with her (even though its midleading).
12

tigoe1291

Posted September 14, 2006 at 9:39 am

Did anyone else the “bulk” that Jessica is putting on from all that dining out she does…and really, what else does that girl? Whine, moan, text message and eat out every day?

Seriously, those shots of her walking to and from the Art of Fitness as well as the beach made her look hefty.
13

TheEmancipationofGigi

Posted September 14, 2006 at 9:43 am

Good god, Tessa is boring as f*ck. Why did they ever cast her, and even more perplexing, why did they ever think we would root for her?

I have to admit, though, Rocky is growing on me. And thank god for Roz cameos. I guess I’m a sidekick lover.
14

NYC18

Posted September 14, 2006 at 9:52 am

I’m not even sure he was a real waiter. He could have just been some poor PA on the production that was forced to pull out some exposition from the kids.

LOL! I totally thought the same thing. Sad attempt to add someTHING to LB…poor gophers.
15

Belinda

Posted September 14, 2006 at 10:03 am

Dick’s in SD is ONLY for the tacky tourist and/or the 13-18 crowd. The food is horrible and overpriced, the place is dirty and the wait staff are all spawned from TACO!

Great recap of one of the best LBs this season. You are right B-Side – the sidekick action was stellar! Maybe next year we can have — LB-The Sidekick Edition.
16

2 Old 4 This

Posted September 14, 2006 at 10:08 am

So, is Roz now Jessica’s sidekick? hard to keep track.

I uttered an audible “oh no” when Messica showed up at the gym.
Random appearance?

That girls needs special stalking background music – something from Sorority Girls From Hell maybe?
“Irma, Irma, Irma….stupid ugly Irma”
17

Hilary

Posted September 14, 2006 at 11:23 am

Am I the only one to find it weird that all of these kids were down in SD for a night without any parents? Or is that just how it works these days?
18

Lisa

Posted September 14, 2006 at 11:41 am

Every week I ask the same question: What is so freaking great about Cameron? He’s not that cute, he’s not that nice, and you can tell from 10 miles away when he’s feeding a girl lines. Why do they all fall for it? And Tessa, I’m very disappointed. I expected more from you.
19

2 Old 4 This

Posted September 14, 2006 at 12:07 pm

Lisa – I agree.

He reminds me of Brandon Davis – all shiny, all the time.
eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww

Then again, when I think of the guys I got stoked for in high school….makes my mature, wrinkled, saggy skin crawl!
20

tvismylife

Posted September 14, 2006 at 12:10 pm

Am I the only one that noticed Jessica’s excessive thirst while on the beach towards the end of the show? She had two Pepsi cans and a bottle of water. She looked ridiculous at the gym while “gyming”.
21

hollabackboy

Posted September 14, 2006 at 12:31 pm

Jessica is so blind and clingy she doesn’t even realized that Cameron has hooked up with two girls behind her back. Or she realizes it and is just too stupid to care. They say they’re not “committed” but it doesn’t seem that way to me. I really think that Cameron was one of the awkward semi-geeky boys in middle school or freshman year.Then he started working out and lost his glasses/acne and “Oh My God, he’s so hot!”. So I think he’s just trying to be a player now, because he hasn’t had the chance to.

Oh, yeah, in my opinion, “Taco” was definitely hamming it up for the cameras. Just a little too quirky for it to have been natural.
22

antebellum

Posted September 14, 2006 at 12:39 pm

I too missed the beginning of the episode, so sadly I did not see Jessica “gyming.”

It’s always mysterious red plastic cups, have you noticed?

Could Taco have been any more annoying? I can’t believe the kids revealed anything to him–I especially would never tell some random waiter if I had a crush on a guy. But I’m proud that you noticed all of the straws in their drinks, B-Side. And I loved the psychological thriller screencap–dead on!

Cameron is decent looking, and less vapid than the rest of them, but all of the hype is unwarranted. Although part of me is secretly glad he’s playing Jessica as well as he is… Maybe, when she finds out, THAT will teach her some sort of lesson.
23

nflow

Posted September 14, 2006 at 12:55 pm

the sad part is that, it seems Cameron really likes Jessica, but his friends keep making fun of him, and well in high school peer pressure is everything. It also doesn’t help, that Jessica is a chronic whiner, she is the kind of girl, that allows her past relationship to ruin all future relationships.
24

CTVampSlayer

Posted September 14, 2006 at 1:00 pm

Tessa’s too good for Cameron. I’m disappointed in her.

Am I the only one who gets annoyed when the people on the show use “hooked up” as euphemism for sex? I understand MTV would probably catch flack for featuring 16 – 18 doin’ it, but “Yeah, we hooked up” every episode is annoying.
25

TwinFalls

Posted September 14, 2006 at 1:01 pm

I see Chops in corporate sales. Or doing to law school and working at a big firm. I can totally picture him in dockers and an oxford.
I also continue to be amazed that parents let their high school kids spend a night out of town w/ no adults. & if my mom, back in the 80s, saw footage of me on a bed w/ a boy, making out—heads would have rolled.
& how many young people stay at the Hilton by themselves? In college, the HOliday Inn was the best we could do. I’m really starting to think that these LB kids must have been complete saints in a past life, and have some great kharma going on now.
26

erika

Posted September 14, 2006 at 2:12 pm

That Jeff guy didn’t really live in a trailor. I’m embarassed to say that I saw the house tour he gave on overdive. It was just a normal sized house, but definitely not a trailer. He lived in the garage, so maybe that’s what you mean, but I think its because he wanted his own, large space.
27

brilliantmistake

Posted September 14, 2006 at 2:52 pm

I think “lucy love” sounds familiar because of “lisa love” from The Hills…
28

LagunaBeached

Posted September 14, 2006 at 5:46 pm

Lucy Love.. hmm I’m guessing Macy’s.. I don’t know. That Last Resort place looked plain wierd and nasty! Why do you all hate Tessa? At least she is nice.. just kinda bland.
29

LagunaBeached

Posted September 14, 2006 at 5:49 pm

Brandon Davis is a disgrace to all men.
30

antebellum

Posted September 14, 2006 at 5:59 pm

Oh, and I could’ve sworn I saw Lisa Love’s name under Costume Design for “Dawson’s Creek” or something. We all gotta start somewhere. Who knew she would someday be THE Lisa LOVE?!
31

goodAg

Posted September 14, 2006 at 6:43 pm

B-Side, if you turn the psycho killer picture of Cameron and Tessa upright, add some primary colorblocking and a few squiggles, you get a cool Picasso face!

Also, Rocky was kind of looking like Drew Barrymore in the straw picture.

“Hooking up” – does this always really mean having sex? Sometimes they throw it around so casually that I wonder if it just means hanging out with a little messing around thrown in? Are the kids really so brazen with their conquests these days? Am I just an old prude?
32

tvtvtv

Posted September 14, 2006 at 7:55 pm

Please, people…”hooking up” covers pretty much any horizontal activity. Totally ambiguous. That’s the beauty of it.

And while Cameron isn’t cute at all, we all know that doesn’t really matter in high school. Especially in SoCal where the being good boyfriend material is just about: “doing your thing, you know. Doing polo, cruising around, partying!”
33

UglyCutie

Posted September 14, 2006 at 10:02 pm

2 OLD 4 THIS

That comment was just a hilarious as B-Side’s recap. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first but he IS all shiny all the time.

And that part about it making your “mature, wrinkled, saggy crawl” was genius!!!
34

UglyCutie

Posted September 14, 2006 at 10:04 pm

I guess I’m too excited. The quote was “mature, wrinkled, saggy sking crawl”. Just loved it!
35

mokins

Posted September 14, 2006 at 10:51 pm

This episode was so boring! Maybe because it was all centered around Tessa.

I agree with whoever said Nick talks too much.

And I am pretty sure “hooking up” doesn’t have to mean sex, it can be anything from kissing to sex
36

ra

Posted September 15, 2006 at 12:20 am

“Can you check under your door, Cameron? I think I parked on a hobo.” and “..a car that ran on starlight and dreams” made me laugh out loud. Too funny B-Side.

Jessica’s more likely to get a man who drives a car that runs on farts and dreams of earning his GED. She makes me want to gouge my own eyes out with rusty paper clips. Umm…did I say that out loud?
37

Pamsey

Posted September 15, 2006 at 6:28 am

I know I’m going to catch heck from some of you who think he’s gay, but I think Chase is a cutie, and he seems much nicer than big, dumb jock Cameron.
38

fulfill_the_dream_78

Posted September 15, 2006 at 7:16 am

Another boring episode…

What’s up with Cameron’s socks when he has shorts on?

Nobody wears white tube socks anymore, he looks like he’s 8 years old.

This might be the most boring group of reality tv people I’ve ever seen. At least the previous casts all seemed to know each other pretty well, most of this cast has a good friend or two, but just know the rest of them by first name. Thus creating no conversation and no excitement.

I swear Chase is high whenever he’s on camera.
39

suebee

Posted September 15, 2006 at 7:32 am

Why exactly did the guys go to SD? I missed the beginning. I wouldn’t have been allowed to drive hours away to a large city and stay in a hotel with friends while in high school, that’s for sure. On earlier seasons when they went to Mexico without parents for Spring Break, I kept thinking “no way.”
40

Krizzatch

Posted September 15, 2006 at 8:26 am

I’m not sure if they parents would let these kids go to SD or some other city alone, but we gotta remember that they’re being followed 24/7 with a 3 person camera crew. They’re safe as kittens.

As much as I was glad that Kydra and Cami were nowhere to be seen – I was secretly missing them immensely.
41

2 Old 4 This

Posted September 15, 2006 at 8:58 am

“What had she not done in a year? Go to the San Diego zoo? Lego Land? Sea World? The Museum of Man in Balboa Park???”

B-Side stop making me embarrass myself at work! I laughed so hard, I got the hairy eyeball from the other cubefarmer across the isle.

I’m ashamed (not really) to say that I have visited all of the above – just not in the last year. Maybe I need a road trip to SD as well. Is the place that sells 5 rolled tacos for 3 bucks still there???

That place is way better than Dick’s Last Resort
42

simper1

Posted September 15, 2006 at 11:02 am

Latest Two-A-Days recap:

http://ilovecamping.blogspot.com/2006/09/starved-for-something-on-two-days.html
43

Ms. Fred

Posted September 15, 2006 at 5:35 pm

Why is it, that the first person to post NEVER says anything of substance? I say second is the new first.

Mark my words, Cami will be over by the end of this season. You can tell everyone hates her. And Kyndra only likes her b/c SOMEONE has to make that shrew look prettier.
44

lora

Posted September 16, 2006 at 8:42 am

Ha! I agree with you, Ms Fred. It’s annoying to always read, “I’m First!” Like, WHO CARES??

back to the show. I was watching with a 16-year-old boy who had never seen it before (really!) He said, and I quote, that Jessica was the cutest girl on the show. And then he said that Breanna looked familiar. Both of those girls are less plastic looking than the majority of this season’s LB chicas, so maybe that is why.
(He did say WHOA when he caught a glimpse of Cami’s undulating boobage. heh)

anyway, that may also be the reason Cameron prefers Jessica. The other girls, including Tessa, are SO into perfection. Jessica is a dork and she’s whiny, but she has a sort of puppy-dog appeal that the others lack. Cameron is too immature to go against peer pressure and also to even make a commitment to any girl.

Maybe Tessa was chosen to model because she is into fashion design. She certainly didn’t have the attitude that most models have as they strut the stage.
45

reeeeelbigfsh

Posted September 16, 2006 at 1:05 pm

Stefunny–

CASEY’s boobs.
46

Melissa

Posted September 17, 2006 at 12:31 pm

I love how, in true sidekick form, Roz adjusts her look to match that of her Master’s. This way, all of Jessica’s accessories — her sunglasses, phone, sidekick (human and non) — match Jessica.

Nick should be taking notes.
47

MichyPR

Posted September 18, 2006 at 2:08 am

“At what point did this hookup turn into a psychological thriller?”

I LMAO when I read that hahaha he does look kind of psychotic. I really don’t get what these girls see in Fathead I don’t think he’s cute at all. Great recap,haven’t seen the episode yet but I hope to catch it soon. Keep up the good work
48

TitsMagee

Posted September 18, 2006 at 12:24 pm

jessica at the gym totally reminds me of stupid high school girls who whine about things for attention because they think it is cute. it is not cute. also not cute? roz’s new do. or should i say don’t. i so bady want to hear them cap on kcav and her failed UPN party show and how desperately she is clinging to her 15 minutes.

someone please tell me how cameron became the guy all the chick want to be with on this show? he looks like freakin john heder….you know. the guy who played napoleon dynamite. his teeth are HUGE!!!

kyndra is a trip. seriously this girl must have the lowest self esteem of the bunch. she looks like the love child of the lead singer for digital underground. everytime she is on screen i think of the lyric “my nose is big…big like a pickle.” thank you for not putting her in this episode.

poor tessa. she looks like the not cute little sister of the girl on smallville. it must suck to be the ugly little sister. just ask breanna.

and for the love if there is one more “when i was sick” refernece without an explanation i am going to go batshit crazy!
49

byebyebitches

Posted September 18, 2006 at 3:22 pm

are trips to catlina included?

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/18/business/media/18avatar.html?_r=2&ref=media&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

“so what’s going with you and J-Unit?”
50

hilcat

Posted September 19, 2006 at 3:25 am

About going away overnight in high school: somehow I managed to talk my parents into letting me go to South Padre all four years of high school unsupervised.

I marvel at that for so many reasons. Mainly because my parents were on the conservative, strict side. And when I look at these kids they seem so young. Even I wonder what these parents are thinking when I see the unsupervised travel but then I remember that I was doing it too. It’s a miracle any of us survive adolescence/teenage years.
51

ckitten

Posted September 19, 2006 at 9:39 pm

Heeeey Everyone! First off, I just wanted to say I am a first-timer to this site. And I am sooo happy that I found it cuz I haven’t had a good laugh like this in a quite a bit. Just wanted to tell B-Side that this episode review was HILARIOUS!!! I especially luved ur “what happens” commentary. It’s one of my new fave quotes! hahaha
And so glad to have other ppl share in my addiction of what we like to call “Laguna Beach” Can’t wait till next time!
52

gidgetgurl

Posted September 20, 2006 at 7:22 pm

B-Side… I’m so glad that I wasn’t the only person to notice how fast Cam was driving. Definitely warp speed.

And, I officially nominate Jessica as most likely to become a fat housewife.
She’s got a bad bob haircut that went out in 1985, she slouches because of her giant boobs, her fashion sense is a little more homely than her fellow LBers and it seems like all the girl wants is to have a boyfriend, get married and pop out kids. Does she go to school? Work? Have any life other than typing away on her sidekick, whining and eating? I think not. A perfect candidate for housefrau.
53

MichyPR

Posted September 21, 2006 at 10:26 pm

I saw this episode and I can’t believe that Raquel is only 16 years old I mean she seems to be pretty mature for her age and is definitely more mature than the rest of the bunch. Also I think Chase looked kinda jealous when he was asking Tessa about Cameron even though I kinda think he’s gay That would suck cause I think he’s the cutest of the bunch…well him and Kelan cause god I hate Fathead.
54

anniedawg25

Posted September 22, 2006 at 5:42 pm

Fuuny Re-cap and comments as always!!! Really, they are the ONLY REASON why I watch this show! MTV should be thanking TVgasm!

Anyway, where to begin??

1. Not that I really care, but how did the kids get hotel rooms? Don’t you have to be 18 to check in?

2. Mysterious red solo cups…what mysterious booze do you think they hold? I am guessing something “daring” like Hypnotiq or Vodka/Sunny Delight.

3. Jessica at the gym…what a joke. Makes me mad that dumb-asses like THAT can’t figure out how dumb-bells work, yet she still looks like she weighs less than I do!! And I am athletic! NOT FAIR

4. Doesn’t anyone else think it was RANDOM AS HELL that Cameron all of a sudden decided to drive allll the way to S.D. to see Tessa’s “modeling gig” when he really hasn’t even spoken to her at all this season?

5. Cameron’s new sidekick…definatley annoying. Yet something makes me think he and Chase might ‘get along’

6. TACO!!!! Where do I even begin. How LAME that he is sooo enthralled with a 16 year old’s love life. I mean, to the point that he will SIT DOWN and have a one-to-one conversation with her. Sad thing is Tessa admitted everything to him, like he was her “Fairy Taco-Father” who could grant her a wish…