Like OMG! Cameron Kissed His Girlfriend!

Laguna Beach

By B-Side | Thursday, September 21, 2006 | 6:55 pm | 53 Comments

kyndra092106Like OMG! Did you see Laguna Beach last night? Kyndra totally started dating her old boyfriend again! And he was all “Look at the ring I got you,” and she was like, “It has so many sides,” and he was like “I know,” and she was like “It’s crazy that I’m in high school and you’re in college,” and he was all “NEVER TALK OF THAT AGAIN!” and Tessa was like “I like Cameron” and Cameron was like “I like Jessica,” and Jessica was like “I’m not going to that birthday party,” and the guy on the bongoes was like “Cool beats,” and Rocky’s mom was all, “Are you gonna help with dinner?” and J-Wahl was like “Creepy!” It was like so random!Yes, after last week’s eventful tryst in San Diego, Laguna Beach returned to its titular locale, but just because we were back to our cove by the sea didn’t mean things were all the same. Oh no. Tessa apparently had fallen back in love with Cameron after their lip-locked antics, as evidenced by the opening narration where she monotonously bleated, “I… like… him… so… much…”

The narration also clued us in on another stunning development: Kyndra might not be on the open market for much longer. “Kyndra was about to fall back on the only guy who could put her in her place: her much older ex-boyfriend, Tyler.” OMG! Much older ex-boyfriend Tyler! This would surely rock the foundation of the world as we know it!

Well, as the show opened up, we found Kyndra and Cami dressed like aspiring Pussycat Dolls and sitting on a couch together. The two babbled about whatever, and Kyndra revealed that Much Older Ex-Boyfriend Tyler had called her. Cami was clearly not happy about this (the only news she wanted to hear was when the Ring-Ding truck would be coming to town again). Apparently Kyndra and Much Older Ex-Boyfriend Tyler were not a match made in heaven. There was an “Ex” in there for a reason. But alas, Cami could sense that her Master was leaning towards welcoming Tyler back into her life, and there was not much she could do about it.

“Do whatever you want to do,” Cami said.

“WHAT?” Kyndra suddenly snapped. “I’ll do what I want!” Yes, Kyndra, she just said that. Hence Cami saying “Do whatever you want to do.”

Cami then predicted that Kyndra would just wind up dumping Tyler again, but Kyndra said it would all depend on which restaurant he took her to for dinner. This was followed by general snickering, as if to say, “Aren’t we so wickedly devilish?” and then with little ado, it was off to the opening credits. Afterwards, we went to Rocky’s house (located, we’re told, in a neighborhood in Laguna called “Top of the World.” She WOULD live on top of the world!).

Anyway, Rocky and Tessa slunk around the kitchen, whining about dinner to Raquel’s mom. I’m personally shocked that Tessa didn’t put in a DVD request for later that night. You just know she’s dying to watch Firewall with Rocky’s parents. Nevertheless, we learned that Cameron — he of the giant veneers — would be having a birthday party that weekend, and when Rocky’s mom asked the girls if they’d be going, a giggling Tessa suddenly gushed, “I hooked up with him in San Diego!” You know what they say: birds of a bland feather flock together!

Amazingly, Raquel’s mom seemed to be slightly interested in this romantic entanglement, and she asked, “Is he what you guys call the player type?” Oh you kids with your newfangled slang! “Player?” That is hilarious! Someone should tell Leno!

Rocky then laughed at her mom and made the evening’s most stunning observation: “He should be on Baywatch.” Cameron and the Hoff together? Why, I think that sounds like a delightful idea. I would tune in happily! And by “tune in,” I mean “bash my head in with a hammer.” (Okay, who am I kidding? I’d totally watch.)

Speaking of Cameron, he and his new sidekick Nick W. were presently browsing for birthday guitars, occasionally testing them with a gentle strum. At one point, Cam found a guitar that he seemed to take a shine to, and in proper sidekick fashion, Nick commented, “I like how that one sounds!” He then added, “I am your loyal servant, Cameron. Your wish is my command.”

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“It’s all for you, Lord Cameron. It’s all for you.”

Alas, despite having found a dream guitar, Cameron was still unsatisfied. Truth was there just weren’t enough hotties at the Guitar Center — which is quite shocking since we all know how much those Orange County hotties love guitar shops! As the two guys then drove back to the ‘Guna, Nick made a bold sidekick move and suggested that his Master was not in fact infallible. He implied that Cameron was breaking hearts left and right, but like any Master would, Cameron spurned this sidekick observation, confident that he was not nearly the lothario he was being made out to be. I mean, just because he’s hooked up with three different girls this season doesn’t mean he’s one of those wack-a-doodle “player types.”

Elsewhere, we found the object of (most of) Cameron’s affections, Jessica, dining with Roz, who had returned to her blonde roots. Well, not roots like hair roots. You know what I’m trying to say. Well, not only was Roz no longer a brunette (chances were this was filmed before she was a brunette in the first place), but she had another bombshell to drop on us. SHE HAD A TATTOO!! I was hoping it would be an artistic rendering of Peri Gilpin, but sadly, it was nothing as exciting. Roz had merely etched a tiny cross on her forearm. It looked small and harmless, but of course, it was imbued with meaning. That cross was Roz’s way of declaring her sidekick independence. No longer was she second fiddle to Kristin Cavallari. She was her own girl, her own woman, her own MASTER! Huzzah!

Anyway, conversation quickly drifted off of Roz’s tattoo and onto Cameron’s upcoming birthday party. Jessica was concerned that it would be all high school kids, and she adamantly told Roz, “I’m like ‘There’s no way I’m gonna go to your birthday party!’” Translation: “I’m gonna say that I’m not going to go, but then hopefully Cameron and will beg and beg and beg until I feel adequately wanted, and then I’ll go. And I’ll talk about Jason the whole time too.”

As usual, Roz was the voice of reason, and she told Jessica to just get over herself and go to the damn party. Damnit, Roz! Your rational thinking has no place here! We thought you’d get the hint when you weren’t put in last year’s opening credits. No maturity allowed!

We then headed to Candace’s house (very exciting), and for those of you who don’t remember who Candace is, she’s the girl from the first episode who looked like the bizarre lovechild of a jack-o-lantern, a Staten Island secretary, and a candy apple. Anyway, she and Cami hung out and talked about, what else? Kyndra and her impending date with Much Older Ex-Boyfriend Tyler! The two girls were positively shocked that Kyndra would even entertain the idea of dating Tyler again. The only thing more earth-shattering would be if Candace announced that she might actually use suntan lotion at the beach from time to time. Did you see those shoulders? Peel-tastic! Of course, I can’t speak. A Sunday afternoon at a Chargers game this week has left me with a forehead of flaky shame.

Anyway, soon it became very clear why Cami was so upset about the latest turn of events. If Kyndra was spending all her time with Much Older Ex-Boyfriend Tyler, then who would be Cami’s Master? She would be an orphan! Lexie couldn’t take her on — she already had Tara, Candace and Bernice weren’t even cast members, and Breanna, well, no one knows where the hell she is. Looks like it could be rough sidekick seas ahead for Cami!

Later that night, Kyndra headed over to Much Older Ex-Boyfriend Tyler’s house, which, for all intents and purposes, looked exactly like Kyndra’s, except with better lighting. Tyler, a skinny, sickly boy, had cooked dinner for his ex-flame, and now they were on the back porch, enjoying their romantic meal. The two discussed important things, like the ring he once gave her. In an enjoyably tacky move, Tyler marveled at the rock’s size made sure to mention how much it will appreciate in value. Kyndra, meanwhile, could not get over the intricacies of the diamond, saying, “There are so many like… inci– like–” FACETS, dammit! The word is FACETS. Even Cami would have know that. After all, her hair is huge with knowledge.

And in case we weren’t sure just how proud Tyler was of the diamond bauble he had bestowed on his lovely, he noted, “That’s something you hold onto for the rest of your life.” He then added, “Dammit, bitch. Just tell me my gift is amazing, and in turn, I too am amazing as well. JUST SAY IT!”

The conversation eventually moved on from this highly fascinating diamond discussion, and soon the two wound up toasting each other. “Cheers to this delightful dinner!” Tyler said. Yes, delightful indeed: steaks with A1 Sauce! And to think, he almost took her to The Sizzler instead.

cheers092106
Sköal!

Then, as the two enjoyed this ever so delightful meal (where was the “foir gwar” I ask?), Much Older Ex Boyfriend Tyler suggested that they start things back up. Unfortunately, Kyndra was mid-chew, which meant we had to wait through an uncomfortable silence for her answer. Oh, Tyler. Don’t you know you never pop the question mid-chew? Poor form! Well, sure enough, Kyndra accepted Tyler’s proposition, which once again proves my theory: A1 is always the clincher! No Bullseye. No Heinz. Just A1 (and if you really want to kick things up a notch, I also recommend A1 Bold & Spicy. Grrrrrrowl!).

As we went to commercial, the two consummated their new relationship by making out perilously close to a giant blaze in the fireplace. I half expected the two to become engulfed in flames, but thankfully, no such disaster occurred.

After the commercial break, we found Kyndra and Cami at the St. Regis Spa where the two received well-deserved massages. It’s about time they had some R&R from their hectic lives of reading magazines and making banal comments. Of course, the best part about a massage on TV is the requisite massage-table camera angle, which meant we got to see Kyndra and Cami with their faces pressed against the equivalent of a foamy, miniature toilet seat. And let me just say that the effect on Cami was not particularly flattering.

cami092106

The two girls babbled about Tyler, but at one point, Kyndra had to stop the conversation to ask the masseuses a burning question: “Don’t your hands get tired?” Unfortunately, the masseuses answered with nothing more than stony, shameful silence. Not even they could summon the will-power to engage in this inane patter.

Cami, however, jumped right in and noted, “I can’t even write in class for thirty minutes without my hands getting… urgh…” She does know that massage and writing are two different things, right? Sadly, I’m not sure she did, which meant that Cami either thought the masseuses were writing on her back, or Cami writes by kneading her paper with her fist.

We then headed out to the golf course where Tyler was hitting some balls with… (fanfare)… Jason! That’s right, Jason Wahler, J-Wahl, oh bearded one was back! “How’s it going with Lauren?” Tyler asked, as I snickered quietly to myself.

“Everything’s going really good,” Jason said, adding, “Except for the fact that she dumped me, and I’ve been a mess, and I just wound up in jail. But aside from that, it’s gnarly!”

Jason then got the lowdown on who was hooking up with who, and when Tyler noted that Cameron was now dating Jessica, J-Wahl couldn’t help but exclaim, “Dude! That’s so creepy!” Yes, it terrifies me to the core!

And with that, Jason disappeared from the episode, only the spectral memory of his spacey drawl dancing in our minds. We then went to Cameron’s house where everyone was preparing for the big birthday celebration, and of course, bestest sidekick ever, Nick, was present to sooth his master’s party-planning anxieties. You see, Cameron was nervous that there’d be a Jessica/Tessa showdown; however, seeing that Tessa seems incapable of raising her voice beyond a meager squeak, I really didn’t think there’d be much drama.

Meanwhile, over at Beautiful Nails, Tessa was having her own anxieties: how to survive the manicurist’s brutal attack! Despite there being no nerve endings in nails, Tessa still cringed before hers were clipped, almost as if she expected to get sucker punched with each falling nail clip. Ever the instigator, Rocky asked Tessa if she was going to give Cameron a birthday kiss (read: blowjob), but Tessa said she wanted to see what the reaction would be once she showed up. Just guessing here, but I think that reaction will be general apathy, followed by a sigh and a yawn.

Finally, it was time for the partay! The terrible, terrible partay. The first thing we saw was Cameron and some other guy playing guitars for people, all of whom looked dreadfully bored. There was also a guy on bongos, but as you can imagine, he didn’t help anything. Jessica soon arrived with a frumpy friend, and the two of them wandered into the kitchen where they chatted with Cameron’s mom, a friendly looking woman with giant teeth not unlike her son’s. To be honest, there were a lot of things going on at this party, but I was really fixated on Jessica’s mystery friend, who sort of looked like the Maggie Gyllenhaal of Laguna Beach. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.

cammom092106
I feel like there’s a Joker joke somewhere…

Anyway, this party really seemed like it sucked, especially when it became apparent that everyone playing musical instruments with Cameron seemed to be forty or older. As for Jessica, she somehow got rid of her frumpy friend and wound up chatting with Cami about, you guessed it, Kyndra and Much Older Ex-Boyfriend Tyler. I forgot pretty much what they were talking about, mostly because I was fixating on the giant cold sore on Jessica’s mouth. Ah, Jason may be gone, but he’s certainly not forgotten!

Meanwhile, if you were wondering why Kyndra was conspicuously absent from Cameron’s party, it’s because she was going on a date with Tyler, or Ty Ty, as she called him. Tyler picked her up at her house, and as Kyndra left, some random grandfatherly figure bid her adieu. I’ll assume that was her father, and I’ll also assume that he’s some sort of rich sugar daddy, which makes sense because Kyndra’s mom always had that aging trophy wife look about her. Anyway, Kyn and Ty headed to the Blue Fin restaurant where they dined on a fine meal of sushi. Kyndra was particularly impressed with Tyler’s proficient use of chopsticks, saying that he was “way too gnarly with those things!” Okay, calm down, Kyndra. It’s not like he was performing elaborate balancing tricks with the chopsticks. He was merely using them in their normal capacity. It would be like me saying to someone, “Whoa! The way you used that fork to stab the chicken was AMAZING!”

Anyway, as the two talked, Kyndra noted that she was fourteen when they met, and he was eighteen (Tyler thought he was seventeen, but she corrected him). She then innocently asked, “Isn’t it weird though to think that you’re already in college and not in high school anymore? Whenever I think about that–” Kyndra started before Tyler bitterly interjected, “Why is it such a big deal that you need to bring it up? I thought we were beyond that!” NEVER SPEAK OF COLLEGE AGAIN! Yes, for some reason, Tyler was absolutely livid that Kyndra would mention their academic status. I don’t know why. Maybe he wanted to talk about how wonderful the gifts were that he’d purchased for her instead. Either way, this was the rare situation where Kyndra was in the right. She seemed just as shocked as we were by Tyler’s reaction, and while she tried to remedy the situation the damage was done.

“Do you want to change the subject and talk about something else?” a snippy Tyler asked. His edamame was ruined! Here’s the thing, Tyler. If you don’t want to talk about the differences in college and high school, don’t date a high school girl.

Meanwhile, back at Cameron’s party, Jessica was busy telling idiotic stories that Cameron obviously wasn’t listening to. I say “obviously” because in the middle of a story, he would literally turn to someone else and strike up a conversation. Anyway, Tessa finally arrived with Rocky and Alex in tow, and just as we expected, she was brimming with horny optimism. Unfortunately, Cameron was nowhere to be found. That’s because he was out in the backyard gettin’ cozy with Jessica. Tessa, however, still thought she had a chance for romance. “Where’s the birthday boy? Well, I’m going to find him!” she said in a line that was clearly added during post-production. Proving to be a useless sidekick, Nick quickly spilled the beans on Cameron’s whereabouts, and Tessa went charging to the backyard to plant a big one on him. She stopped in her tracks, however, when out the window she saw her crush kissing Jessica. OMG! The horror! Who could ever imagine that a guy would kiss his girlfriend!

tessa092106
“I’m horrified with every bland bone in my body!”

With that, Tessa stormed out of the party with her friends, not even stopping to sing Happy Birthday. Of course, this all felt very stagey, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Tessa’s visit to the party was perfectly harmless and without drama. I mean, it’s Tessa. She doesn’t storm out of places.

The next day, Tessa and Rocky hung out on a porch and talked about Cameron. Tessa was all bummed about the situation, which means I guess she’ll go back to quietly fixating on Chase. “We can go beat him up or something,” Rocky suggested, clearly not realizing that battering Cameron’s face was not the way to get him on Baywatch. Raquel then came up with the better suggestion that Tessa and Cameron simply talk about the situation. Hmmm… I liked the physical assault plan more.

We then cut to the beach where Cameron was sitting with sidekick Nick and some guy named Derek. “Dude, I’m ready to work on my tan. I’m gonna get some abs after this,” Derek said, detailing what would surely be the motto for his life. Suddenly, Cameron’s phone began to ring, and he let out an urgent alert, “DUDE! Tessa’s calling me right now!”

Perhaps feeling badly for failing his Master the night before (you know, by telling Tessa where Cameron was), Nick jumped on the grenade and said, “I’ll tell her you’re not around!” And with that, Nick answered the phone and pretended that Cameron was off in the sea, surfing under Poseidon’s gaze (never mind that Cameron was guffawing just inches away from the phone).

Anyway, Nick actually wound up talking to Tessa for a little bit, trying to smooth things over between Cameron and her. I couldn’t be sure, but I think he was actually breaking up with her on Cameron’s behalf. Wow. That was above and beyond the sidekick call of duty. Amusingly, while Tessa shared her feelings with Nick, he interrupted to comment, “Dude, look at that wave!” He then added, “And look at that cloud! And that bird too! Are seagulls always white? Really? Shit.”

Ultimately, the two hung up, and as the guys rose to wander off somewhere, Nick commented, “Drama!” Yeah, man. Why are girls always so dramatic when guys hook up with them one night and with another girl another night? Stupid girls.

And with that, the show ended. What did you think of this episode?

About

53 Comments

  1. 1
    bdub
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 7:26 pm

    About last night show:

    1)There is something seiously wrong with Kendra’s new/old boyfriend Tyler. I can’t quite put my finger on it but he’s either retarded, suffering from a serious neurological disorder, a serious drug abuser or a combination of the the above. He reminds me of Freddo in the Godfather.

    2) Nick isn’t Cameron’s slave. Nick tells Cameron what to do and Cameron mindlessly does whatever Bick tells him. Cameron seems to lack the capacity to understand the consequences of his actions.

    3) How dumb is Kendra?

    And another thing, I hate Goose on Two a Days!

  2. 2
    newtrino
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 8:17 pm

    For one thing, he’s totally over-sensitive about being revealed for the pervert cradle-robber he was in his high school years. Jeez.

    Can we get a frontal screencap of Jessica’s ugly friend, please? Or even a gross-out shot of the skin damage on Kyndra/Cami’s back in the spa?

  3. 3
    zevonia
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 8:30 pm

    “She does know that massage and writing are two different things, right? Sadly, I’m not sure she did, which meant that Cami either thought the masseuses were writing on her back, or Cami writes by kneading her paper with her fist.”
    B-Side that was priceless!
    I almost choked I was laughing so hard.
    Oh the drahma! Will the girls never learn?!?

  4. 4
    Yanaja
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 8:35 pm

    Yooooooooo! Did you all notice Jessica’s friend’s stomach? She def. looks preggerz!

    I actually felt kind of bad for Tessa (FOR LIKE 3 SECONDS!!!) I cannot stand her! She got a taste of the Cameron Sausage and got hooked. She needs to grow up an realize that it was a booty call gone wrong and move the hell on.

    As for Nick. I find him annoying. He’s WAY to interested in what’s going on in Cameron’s love life. He’s def. this season’s Cedric…Tessa was really dumb for actually holding a convo with this loser…she should’ve hung up on his homo ass after he said Cameron wasn’t around.

    I actually like seeing Kyndra in a real relationship. It shows her vulnerability and takes the bitch factor away. She tries so hard to play it up for the cameras and be the next KCav but Tyler just crushed her KCav ambitions in one episode. KCav would not have taken his shit lying down…that’s for sure.

    All in all I really liked this episode more than any other thus far. It was included Cami and Kyndra but didn’t focus on their bitchiness and holier than thou attitudes and more on real life. But I found something seriously wrong with Cami badmouthing Kyndra’s relationship to Candace and Jessica.

  5. 5
    Yanaja
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 8:36 pm

    Yooooooooo! Did you all notice Jessica’s friend’s stomach? She def. looks preggerz!

    I actually felt kind of bad for Tessa (FOR LIKE 3 SECONDS!!!) I cannot stand her! She got a taste of the Cameron Sausage and got hooked. She needs to grow up an realize that it was a booty call gone wrong and move the hell on.

    As for Nick. I find him annoying. He’s WAY to interested in what’s going on in Cameron’s love life. He’s def. this season’s Cedric…Tessa was really dumb for actually holding a convo with this loser…she should’ve hung up on his homo ass after he said Cameron wasn’t around.

    I actually like seeing Kyndra in a real relationship. It shows her vulnerability and takes the bitch factor away. She tries so hard to play it up for the cameras and be the next KCav but Tyler just crushed her KCav ambitions in one episode. KCav would not have taken his shit lying down…that’s for sure.

    All in all I really liked this episode more than any other thus far. It was included Cami and Kyndra but didn’t focus on their bitchiness and holier than thou attitudes and more on real life. But I found something seriously wrong with Cami badmouthing Kyndra’s relationship to Candace and Jessica.

  6. 6
    Ash
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 9:36 pm

    Okay, honestly, I swear Tyler is gay! There is no way that I can believe that whole relationship in any way, and I actually can’t believe he wasn’t made fun of more in the recap. Anyways… I don’t mind Tessa as much as everyone else seems to, she’s slightly boring, but better than pathetic Jessica.

  7. 7
    bama girl
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 10:16 pm

    I think Cami is the most gross and lame person ever! I don’t dislike Tessa, but I wish she would hurry up and say what she wants to say. Also, her teeth don’t come together in a normal way, which makes her look weird when she smiles. I like her though. This season just lacks something. Jessica is still super sad and pathetic. She must be doing something* to get all these guys to put up with her.

  8. 8
    MichyPR
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 10:21 pm

    “I feel like there’s a Joker joke somewhere…”
    LMAO so true hahahahaha.
    I thought Kyndra’s boyfriend left much to be desired but then again I shouldn’t be surprised considering that no one on this season’s cast is particularly attractive. I laughed when he pretty much bit her head off over the whole age thing lol maybe he didn’t want people to know that he keeps going back to his HS girlfriend because he probably can’t get any in college :P .

    I felt kinda bad for Tessa but I also kinda laughed a little I mean come on what do these girls see in Fathead? I totally agree that Nick is this season’s Cedric haha he’s so weird.

    Did anyone notice at the party when some guy was standing next to Cami and she said she liked his sweater and when he said he liked her green shirt (or something like that) she hit him? Maybe that’s why guys won’t even touch her with a ten foot pole, or at least one of the reasons.
    Great recap as always B-Side keep up the good work :)

  9. 9
    shiaobundan
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 11:18 pm

    I thought that moment where Kyndra snapped at Cami to stop biting her nails would get mentioned. funny stuff.

    And I feel bad for Tessa. She is so pretty and her and Raquel are definately the most normal of the cast…

    …and its been said before but.. c’mon. Cameron is NOT HOT. He’s okay. He’s puffy. No way would they let a puffy guy on Baywatch RAQUEL!!!

  10. 10
    tater
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 5:32 am

    Is it any surprise that the way Tyler acted like a child with the high school/college thing that he was the old/new/old/whatever boyfriend. I could see them breaking up within 2 epsidoes and let out some of that wonderful “drama”. He’s friends with J-Wahl so I guess that should be expected.

    Oh yeah and Roz that doesn’t qualify as a tattoo. That looked more like a doodle on your arm. Get something like a snake wrapped around your arm.

  11. 11
    PattiJo
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 6:00 am

    Didn’t Kyndra say that Tyler went to Miliatary school? Or maybe it was Cameron. I was wondering if he went to Military school with J-Whal. Maybe they got int rouble doing drugs together.

    Also something is very wrong with Tyler I just don’t know what. I think maybe he is gay and strung out.

    I can’t believe you didn’t mention how he was bragging about how that ugly shirt he had on cost $500.00.

  12. 12
    ivapbj
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 6:27 am

    Oh B-Side how you tickle me with your laguna recaps!
    Cameron’s mom looks like a demented house wife version of Ellen Degeneres.

  13. 13
    fulfill_the_dream_78
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 6:39 am

    Hey Ash(#6):
    I agree with you about Tyler, the second he opened his mouth I thought he was gay.

    Kyndra’s taste is obviously dreadful, you would expect her to have better taste than she does, but with Tyler’s $$$$ I guess she can fail to see what’s behind the Amex Black card.

    Has anyone else noticed Cami’s dead tooth? It’s horrible, everytime she smiles I want to get some plyers and yank that sucker out.

    Props to J-Wahl for the unexpected cameo, nice to see he took time out of his busy schedule to hit golf balls with Tyler.

    I think I’ve figured out Cameron’s reason why he has chosen Jess over Tessa and Kyndra. It has to be her huge rack!

    Not that it matters, but as annoying and bitchy as she is, I think Kyndra is pretty hot.

  14. 14
    MissKatrina
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 6:49 am

    I don’t even think I saw the last few minutes of Cameron’s party because I was so fixated on that viral crater on Jessica’s lip. EW!

    My boyfriend predicted long ago that J-Blow was a druggie, and as soon as Tyler came on screen he said the same thing.

    Tyler is a cokehead with a bad case of “gay”. Another Laguna bitch makes a stellar choice in boyfriends!

  15. 15
    k
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 7:16 am

    Didn’t Taylor from Season 2 date a guy named Tyler? Could it be the same heartbreaker? Whats with all the “T” names ? Taylor, Tyler, Talan, Tessa…

  16. 16
    criscogirl
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 7:30 am

    1) I’m pretty sure that Tyler got mad about the whole age talk because Kyndra was basically announcing on TV that he is a statitory rapist.
    2) Anyone else notice the new car camera angle?

  17. 17
    Tigoe91
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 7:37 am

    Oh yeah, Tyler is totally “of the gay”…by the way, nice mop pal. What do call that ‘do…The J-Wahl perhaps?

    While Kyndra might have a modicum of attractiveness, her harsh demeanor and caustic personality make her excrutiatingly ugly and old. While all those Laguna teens look pretty aged…I think it is Kyndra, not Cami, who looks like the Staten Island secretary, with the brain power to go along with it.

    And what about Kyndra’s grandfather-dad. That explains it all. I can guarantee you that the night ‘ol Kyndra was conceived, that was last night her mom had sex with gramps!

  18. 18
    jasminetheawesome
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 7:39 am

    Its so funny that the last comment I made was about Clay Aiken and his clipgasm. I was saying that Clay is clearly gay.

    Well, I’m going to continue with that theme and say that Tyler is clearly gay.

  19. 19
    mo_knows
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 7:42 am

    K- I was wondering the same thing- I wonder if that’s the same Tyler that Taylor dated… although Taylor would seem to have better taste than that. What is with these supposed “hot” laguna guys? I have yet to see one that resembles anything close to manly.
    And have we figured out if Candace is Alex H’s step sister? I know that was brought up before and when they showed her house I tried to see if that was the same house they showed for Alex, but it was too short of a shot.

  20. 20
    shazamm
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 7:45 am

    I know somebody said it…the only reason any of these boys deal with Jessica and her annoying passive aggressiveness is because of her huge jiggly boobs…..

  21. 21
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 8:39 am

    B-Side, I MUST remember to wear rubber pants when reading your recaps.
    I wet ‘em every time!

    Now, that first picture of Kyndra in the toilet seat at the top or the recap:

    WonkaVision?

  22. 22
    LagunaBeached
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 8:59 am

    —–Tyler is Bipolar

    “”"for those of you who don’t remember who Candace is, she’s the girl from the first episode who looked like the bizarre lovechild of a jack-o-lantern, a Staten Island secretary, and a candy apple. “”" – [PERFECT DESCRIPTION]

    GROSS!! Cami and Kyndra at the ST REGIS?! I’ve stayed there, they actually let those two in????

  23. 23
    J-Balls
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 9:00 am

    Starting from the premise that TyTy is gay (actually, I’d say he’s bi), one can see how this explains his odd behavior. I posit that he came out to his college friends but wants to keep a girlfriend as well. He doesn’t want his worlds to collide which is why he totally flipped out when Kyndra mentioned college. This also explains why he’s so fruity.

  24. 24
    mandymax
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 9:19 am

    Maybe it’s me, my age, or the part of the country I live in, but I haven’t heard the word “gnarly” actually used in a normal conversation since maybe 1987 – except in Laguna Beach. Am I just out of it?

  25. 25
    cfab
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 11:17 am

    umm…did noone else notice Ky & TyTy drinking out of the coffee mugs during the great cook-out? I then saw a few little limes surfing at the top of the cups…pretty clever since we all suspect the solo cups. also, did anyone catch the glimpse Cam gave Nic at the end at the beach, total, total F*ck me eyes…

  26. 26
    southernbelle
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 12:04 pm

    This show is really becoming painful to watch. Tyler’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde bit was a bit too scary for me. What the crap was that? It’s called Lithium, my friend. It’s not as effective when snorted though. And I did find the coffee mugs to be ever so classy. Definitely a notch up from the solo cups. What is wrong with these kids?
    And these girls look way old and tired. I may have a few years on them, but I appreciate my SPFed face and think I will continue to do so. Most of them look so tacky. Just goes to show that money doesn’t buy class. I know they get made fun of the most, but I think Tessa and Breanna are the only two girls who look like high schoolers. Even Raquel frightens me a bit. The acrylic nails, the hair extensions, the overly tanned skin-is natural unacceptable these days?

  27. 27
    Amanda
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 12:19 pm

    I just downloaded this episode and noticed that the house that Cameron and Nick are at when they’re talking about the party is not the same house that they show as Cameron’s house when the party is happening.. I don’t know if any of you have tivo or whatever, but check it out. They show [the outside of] two totally different houses.

    Silly MTV.

  28. 28
    hollabackboy
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 12:23 pm

    Tessa was very clueless for even thinking that her and Cameron’s hook up would lead to anything else. Did she not know he was semi-with Jessica? But, then again, Tessa doesn’t seem like the type to love ‘em and leave ‘em, so it’s really expected.

    Oh, yeah, and Kyndra’s boyfriend is a TOTAL IDIOT! I think it’s a match made in heaven.

  29. 29
    CTVampSlayer
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 1:30 pm

    Is it me or is Nick the smarmiest person ever? Everytime I see him, I cringe. He looks like a rapist, and he’s constantly trying to get Cameron to dump girls. “Jessica? Man, you need to dump her!” “Tessa sent you a text message? Don’t even respond!” “Tessa’s calling? I’ll tell her you’re not here!” Nick is totally lusting after Cameron.

  30. 30
    Annieseyes
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 1:52 pm

    Remember the series laguna beach is a dramatization. The kids selected to do the show, whether themselves or acting a part, were chosen to stimulate our imaginations. For the most part the small L.B. high school student body (less than 900 kids) are down to earth, decent, average people from middle class families….wouldn’t that be boring! Laguna Beach as a community is a very tightly knit old fashion town, of approx.25,000 people in approx. 9 square miles of land. Most of the homes in Laguna Beach were built before the 1970′s. The majority of property owners purchased their homes years ago when property values were less than $100,000. Some of the elaborate homes you see on the show were rebuilt after the 1993 fires that wiped out almost 400 homes. Those families have been paying high insur. premiums for years so that they could do ungrades in case of a disaster. Many families lost everything they had and had to leave this beautiful town. The people of Laguna Beach know how lucky they are to live in such a quaint town. They are hard working normal people who contribute to society and will give the shirts off their back to help their fellow man. People of Laguna are known for welcoming the homeless, immigrants, and all visitors from around the world. As the gate at the entrance of Forest Ave reads “this gate hangs well and hinders none, refresh and rest, and travel on”.Please enjoy the show for its drama, intrigue, and comedy, but know, Laguna people are pretty much 40-50 hrs a week, common men and women with kids much like yourselves. we are proud of our diversity.

  31. 31
    J-Balls
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 2:12 pm

    Thanks for the census update, Annieseyes. Did you guys know that the first pay phone was installed in a Hartford, Connecticut bank in 1889?

    PS: TyTy is gaygay and judging from his clothing he has no tastetaste.

  32. 32
    fulfill_the_dream_78
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 2:25 pm

    Annieseyes:
    Your plea for our objective view of your “40-50hr week” town is lame.

    If you don’t like what the people have to say, don’t freakin’ read it.

    Oh and I’m sure Talan, J-Wahl, TyTy and their drug abusing cronies, Kyndra, Kyndra’s Mom, Talan’s Mom and the rest of the double d cup residents are your average hard working folks. If they were, they wouldn’t worry themselves with a ridiculous, but still compelling phony TV show.

  33. 33
    nico-co
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 2:28 pm

    c’mon was Kyndra really out of line for what she said to Tyler, i mean yeah it was pointless, but jeez, when he was like i thought we got past this you ruined everything! i couldn’t help but chuckle, seriously dude fix yourself

  34. 34
    TwinFalls
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 2:52 pm

    I don’t believe in corporal punishment. But if I ever catch my boys acting like sidekick Nick when they get older, I will beat their asses.
    & you know that Nick gets 0 play from the ladies. Perhaps he’s bitter, which is why he acts like such a pig.
    Moving on to Tyler–was I the only one who was surprised he didn’t mention to Kyndra how much the steaks cost as well?

  35. 35
    anniedawg25
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    Everytime I see Cameron’s face, this is what I think of:

    http://soucoupe.altervista.org/images/monchichi.jpg

    ANYWAY this episode (and the recap) was pretty entertaining, as always.
    Where do I begin?
    Ty-Ty is an Ass-Ass. What a jerk! But yet I am happy he is putting Kyn Kyn in her place, as Tessa would say. To her credit, I don’t think she literally meant it was WEIRD that she was in high school and Tyler was in college….but that it was werid that time has flown by so fast! I guess you are right though, Tyler doesn’t like to be reminded of his pedophile ways. EWW

    Also, I too have noticed how EVERYTIME one of the Guna kids drink a beverage, it’s in a dark cup! Solos, and now coffee mugs. I don’t think that was coffee in Tyler and Kyndra’s mugs either….why would you drink coffee with a steak. Not only that, you would have to be slightly buzzed to kiss that jerk!

    Also, something else I noticed….not a big deal, but a possible editing/producer inconsistency. At the gym Jessica warns Cam not to touch her Sidekick. Later on in the ep, she is “calling” Cameron from an old-school flip phone.

  36. 36
    anniedawg25
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 5:21 pm

    oops, the gym scene was in the last episode…but you know what I mean!

  37. 37
    Echo
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 8:54 pm

    I was watching this on Tivo and fast-forwarded out of a commercial and into the Candace scene. Thought for a solid ten seconds, with the angle and the cutaways, that it was LC after three weeks of eating nothing but the Big Bell value menu. After all, somebody said something about LC gaining weight…. But oh no, it was Candace.

  38. 38
    prplpxe
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 10:08 pm

    Wow! Where do I start??

    -Kyndra & Cami dressed like aspiring Pussycat Dolls…hahaha!

    -Doesn’t Nick look stoned all the time?

    -Roz’s new war cry, “Huzzah!”…L-U-V it!!

    #30: PattiJo…I was going to comment about the $500 shirt…the best part was his DAD saying not to ruin it. Does he borrow his Daddy’s clothes?

    #12: ivapbj… Tyler’s Mom = Laguna Beach’s version of a demented Ellen DeGeneres…lmfao!!! That was ON POINT!!!

    #30: Annieseyes…THANK YOU sooo much for the PSA on LB. You must be on the same committee that decided to NOT let Dieter hold his RH4T Finish line event at the high school in fear that us outsiders would tarnish the image. Please don’t be a buzz-kill!

    Being born and raised in San Fran, I can concur my gaydar goes off at both Tyler and Nick. As much as I dislike Kyndra, she didn’t deserve his a-hole attitude. Boy needs some stronger meds…

  39. 39
    erms
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 7:28 am

    I just want to throw it out there and maybe in the next recap it can have a screenshot and photo comparison…

    cameron looks like the father from The Incredibles.

    THE END.

  40. 40
    Annieseyes
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 12:50 pm

    I love reading all the fun comments about the Laguna Beach kids… what great imaginations you all have! The show has obviously succeeded in it’s goal of stimulating your thought processes. That’s actually a good thing… I THINK?????? Maybe at least one of you will use your writing ability and DO something with your life. I know the kids on the show have better things to do with their time than read all the fun gossip…. But if you have a good script, they might be interested… Keep the keys burning.

  41. 41
    mimi
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 1:11 pm

    ===========================
    My thoughts about Kyndra:

    1. Her name is spelt in that ridiculous way not because her parents are f*ckwits (Well they probably are but for other reasons.) but as a not-so-subtle tribute to the product that facilitated the turkey baster to enable her conception. (That’s KY jelly for anyone who’s not so quick on the uptake!)

    2. She is a younger version of Lydia, Andrea Parker’s character on ‘Less Than Perfect.’

    Discuss.

    And then check out my Myspace – I seek to reverse the blight that Cami has left on the image of black people living in predominantly white, middle class areas!
    ===========================

  42. 42
    mimi
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 1:12 pm

    ===========================
    My thoughts about Kyndra:

    1. Her name is spelt in that ridiculous way not because her parents are f*ckwits (Well they probably are but for other reasons.) but as a not-so-subtle tribute to the product that facilitated the turkey baster to enable her conception. (That’s KY jelly for anyone who’s not so quick on the uptake!)

    2. She is a younger version of Lydia, Andrea Parker’s character on ‘Less Than Perfect.’

    Discuss.

    And then check out my Myspace – I seek to reverse the blight that Cami has left on the image of black people living in predominantly white, middle class areas!
    ===========================

  43. 43
    lora
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 1:37 pm

    It’s okay, Annieseyes, as long as you are reading our comments it doesn’t matter that the cast members don’t. You represent them well.

    That whole birthday party scene felt very edited to me. Be interesting to know how it *really* went down!

  44. 44
    lora
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    p.s. to Jballs.

    I laughed so hard when I read your
    PS: TyTy is gaygay and judging from his clothing he has no tastetaste.

    hahahahah!!! :-)

  45. 45
    anniedawg25
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 3:16 pm

    I grew up with a girl named Kyndra. I asked her once where her name came from and she told me that in 1978 (year she was born) there was a Hurricane Kendra, and her mom liked the name so she named my friend Kyndra (different spelling)

    At least that name has some sort of relevance…the ‘Guna Kyndra however…she IS a hurricane…a walking disaster area!

  46. 46
    MIMI
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 8:46 pm

    I would like you all to recall that Tyler was vaguely introduced to us on season two. It was when Jessica first started hooking up with Jason and she and her friends ran into Jason sitting in his friends black BMW. I am inclined to think that this in fact is a friendship that has been ongoing. My point is to agree with the theory that Tyler’s mood swings are due to the fact that he is probably a raging cokehead as is Jason. Any “close”
    friends of Jason I’m almost certain share some of the same bad habits.

  47. 47
    Kyndra_Mayos_Stalker
    Posted September 24, 2006 at 8:46 pm

    This is the first re-cap I’ve read at this site and I couldnt stop laughin. I’ll be comin back here more often for sure. This episode was alright, the re-cap was better, but overall I was entertained. The sidekick deal that B-Slide has been telling us just keeps on coming true every episode. This Nick guy that wants to date Cameron is out of control. If you want to know what ass tastes like, as this guy. Everything Cameron says he agrees and adds in a comment to reassure Cameron in his life decisions. I agreed with this whoel guitar scene, I thought when Cameron was playing the guitar, Nick was going to faint like a 12 year old girl at a N Sync concert. Cami is a solid sidekick (im not too found of her) but I dont know why she thinks she can be as big of a bitch as she is. Kyndra on the other hand, is drop dead hot so she can do what she wants…which leads me to my question to Kyndra “Let me be your new sidekick! I’ll be agreeing with you so much my neck will be in need of a brace.” And onto everyones favorite sidekick Alex. Her tattoo was so shocking and such a rebel move!! hahaha, it looked like she carved it in herself on one of her many nights of crying over missing Kristin so much.
    Ok Kyndra, your perfect in my eyes….but what the hell is up with your boyfriend? He’s either a cokehead (leanin towards this because he’s Jason’s friend), an accident victim or a “special” child. But B-Slide was right and Tyler had one thing right…A-1. Try and not have A-1 sauce on your steak…he got beyond 2nd for that move. After the A-1 high wore off, we were introduced to Camerons mom….I will never be the same. I cannot sleep without the thought of her eating my head…mom I’m scared. At least she monitored the under agers and supplied an ample amount of pop and chips for all of Lagunas youth to enjoy. Ahhh another “dramaaaa” filled episode, cant wait till next week and the re-cap my my boy B-Slie…big ups.
    Best re-cap quote – “…giant cold sore on Jessica’s mouth. Ah, Jason may be gone, but he’s certainly not forgotten.”
    – “Perhaps feeling badly for failing his Master the night before (you know, by telling Tessa where Cameron was), Nick jumped on the grenade and said, “I’ll tell her you’re not around!”

    Hopefully Jessicas sore will clear up or we will soon see Cameron with a similar sore and by episode 8 Nick will also develop the sore. Which one will be chosen to spokesperson for a herpe cream??? (drum roll)…..

  48. 48
    Kyndra_Mayos_Stalker
    Posted September 24, 2006 at 11:12 pm

    Oops its B-side, sorry!

  49. 49
    simper1
    Posted September 25, 2006 at 9:41 pm

    Two-A-Days Homecoming episode recap:
    http://ilovecamping.blogspot.com/2006/09/hoorah-for-hoover-high-homecoming-on.html

  50. 50
    Frizzer
    Posted September 27, 2006 at 10:25 am

    In this transcript from Season 1 of LB, Kristin mentions Tyler. It seems that Tyler was cheating on Kyndra up at school.

    Christina: What are you gonna do when Stephen leaves for school?

    Kristin: Like what are Stephen and I gonna do?

    Christina: Relationship, not in like¦?

    Kristin: Um, we’re gonna break up.

    Christina: That’s a good idea.

    Kristin: Yeah. I wouldn’t¦

    Christina: Girls that like have their boyfriends at college and they’re like¦

    Kristin: Are you dumb?

    Christina: “He’s faithful to me”.

    Kristin: Like Taylor and Tyler.

    Christina: Right. So stupid.

    Kristin: Yeah. So stupid.

    Christina: Like yeah, that’s great. You guys really love each other. But do you really think up in college, like going to parties, he’s gonna be like “Sorry, I have a girlfriend”.

    Kristin: “In Laguna who will never find out about anything”. Yeah no way.

  51. 51
    the_baddest_bitch
    Posted September 27, 2006 at 5:06 pm

    Nick is that ugly friend that gets no play. His only hope of getting play is to hang with the guy who is getting so much play that he can’t possibly rock all the poonani coming his way. Nick can’t have Cameron all coupled up. That would elimnate is ability to tap the cast offs. Nick is super ugly. He looks like a shaved ape with really bad skin. Yuck!

  52. 52
    MichyPR
    Posted October 1, 2006 at 10:09 am

    Hahaha Nick just sucks. I don’t see why anyone would want to hang out with him, well then again he is a fabulous kiss-ass so yeah. I think in the San Diego episode when he said he was in love with Rocky he wasn’t kidding. He was like say “hi to raquel for me” when he was talking to Tessa.

  53. 53
    LagunaConsultant
    Posted October 3, 2006 at 9:47 pm

    I just watched this episode on re-run and I have a few quick comments and clarifications… First off this site is hilarious, and I usually don’t find the need to comment, but I finally didn’t agree with something B-side said and only 2 people mentioned it.

    Tyler was pissed Kyndra mentioned how old he was because it made him look like a kiddy toucher on national TV, if I was in his position(which I would never be) I would have bit her head off too…

    Couple other quick comments, I’m 90% sure this Tyler isn’t the same as the one Taylor dated… I actually read that book inside the bubble under the premise it revealed alot of stuff… Which it did not by the way… But in it, it mentioned how Taylor’s Tyler was not only older, but he was extremely intimidating and most people were afraid of him… This Tyler is the least intimidating person I’ve ever seen, so I doubt he’s the same… Talking like a girl, being older and a dick to girls doesn’t usually make people afraid of you. The way they worded it, it made him seem like a tough kid, and this kid is a fairy…

    And finally, can anyone else wait for the E True Hollywood Stories of some of these kids 10 years from now??? You’ll be hearing things like “Every single second I was on camera I was ripped out of my mind,” “Everyone was sleeping with everyone, if they were taping and you needed a break all you had to do was have sex, it was the only place the cameras wouldn’t go… That and the drug parties hahaha” and “I can’t count the number of times the producers threatened to turn me in for doing cocaine on camera.” I’m smiling just thinking about it

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