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Thursday, October 19, 2006
9:21 pm
77 Comments
OMG! So much drama on last night’s Laguna Beach! First, Rocky was all like “Alex feels pressured!” and then Alex was like “Rocky is gnarly” and then Rocky was all “Just give me a chance to change!” but Alex was like “I’m gonna talk to Lexie” and Lexie was all “He’s cute!” and Bernice was like “Do you come to Heidelberg’s a lot?” and Kyndra was like “I hate sand!” and Cami was like “I hate the smell of bonfire” and Tara was like “I hate foie gras!” and Derek was like “I hate kissing my girlfriend!” So many haters! I couldn’t even believe how awkward it was! OMG! Random!This week’s angst-filled episode began with Tessa and Raquel sitting on, appropriately enough, a very rocky beach. Perhaps this was to signal rocky times ahead, or maybe it was just a fine opportunity to make puns about Rocky’s name. Either way, we knew that Rocky (the girl, not the beach) was about to fall headfirst into a morass of drama and tears. Why? Because apparently she and Alex had been fighting, and if the MTV promos had been any indication, it looked like their relationship was about to splinter like many a shipwreck on a foggy, rocky beach — much like the one they were sitting on right there (it all comes full circle!).
Anyway, Rocky explained that on a recent phone call, Alex felt pressured about whatever and Rocky was like super stressed and Alex was kind of cold about her super stress and then they started like yelling at each other and like OMG! Trouble in teen paradise!
Raquel then relayed how she said, “I was like, ‘Are you okay? Are you pressured, Alex?’” You know, you just said that he was. Must you always be so redundant always? Nevertheless, when parents get divorced, it’s always the children who are hurt the most. But when teens break up, it’s always the bland sidekick — in this case, Tessa. “You and Alex cannot break up!” she pleaded, later adding, “Because then if you don’t go on dates, that means I won’t be able to watch movies with your parents anymore. AND I ALREADY RENTED A PRICE ABOVE RUBIES!!!”
After the opening credits, we learned this week’s show was called “It’s, Like, Breakup Season,” which apparently was a reference to every single week in Laguna. We soon found Rocky’s disgruntled boyfriend Alex skateboarding through town with his sidekick E.J. just feet away. They were like two dashing rogues, swiftly cutting through the seaside community with the sort of reckless abandon we only see in Sunny-D commercials. Their joyrides came to an end, however, when they reached a fence overlooking the ocean, causing E.J. to ponder whether or not the water was still cold. “Yeah, it is,” Alex said, further elaborating, “It’s freezing.” WELL! Consider my maritime climate curiosity sated!
Shockingly, this discussion about Laguna’s icy waters soon transitioned onto something slightly more interesting: Raquel. E.J. wanted to know what the deal was with their relationship, but all Alex could really muster was “We had such a gnarly convo.” Through further mutterings, we sensed that Alex wasn’t particularly happy with Ra-kwell anymore, especially since she seemed to be suffocating him in that most gnarly of ways. He complained, “The relationship is getting way too exclusive.” Translation: “Yeah, I’ll probably dump her in like ten minutes.”
Actually, that really wasn’t very far from the truth. Alex revealed that he was gonna go to Rocky’s house and tell her to meet him somewhere. Seemed kind of redundant, considering he was already at her house. Must every conversation be at the beach? Whatever happened to the old let’s-break-up-on-the-bed technique that Heidi used to well in The Hills?
Anyway, this scene eventually came to an end with an exasperated Alex mumbling, “Too much pressure. Can’t deal with that.” Yes, poor Alex was under entirely too much strain. I mean, the ocean water was freezing, and on top of that, he had to worry about his girlfriend? NO. TOO MUCH.
Elsewhere in the ‘Guna, Cami and Kyndra passed the time by browsing through a store called Muse. The mandate of the day was to find a short dress, ideally one that didn’t look like the pilgrim garb Kyndra seemed to be wearing. Shockingly, Cami made Kyndra put back one skimpy outfit, saying it would make her look like too much of a whore — unlike all those classy leopard print outfits Kyndra normally wears. Anyway, as the two girls rifled through clothes, Kyndra mentioned how she had seen Derek (a.k.a. Tessa’s new unlikely beau) out and about, causing her a pang of nostalgia to the times when the two of them were shopping buddies. Oh the good old days: when Derek was thiiiis close to being their own personal sassy gay. Why, oh, why did he have to date Tessa?
“I wonder if they have anything that’s Pilgrim Chic…”
We then learned that this week’s big event would be an old Laguna fave: the bonfire! “I hate bonfires!” a sniveling Cami scoffed.
“Me too!” an equally disgusted Kyndra replied. Ah yes, once again the wannabe Queen Bees think that by harshly rejecting all social events that they’ll be the second coming of Kristin Cavallari. Not even close. Nevertheless, the girls knew they’d wind up at the bonfire, which is why Kyndra announced their planned wardrobe (two days ahead of time, mind you): “We can just wear big sweatshirts and jeans.”
“Let’s do that. Let’s do that,” Cami eagerly said in return.
“No, I’m serious!” Kyndra snapped back, clearly dubious about her sidekick’s sincerity. Be warned, Cami. Never mock the official bonfire fashion decree of Kyndra! One more display of insolence, and you’ll be shipped off to the hoi polloi faster than you can say “Mission Viejo!”
Later on, during a gloomy afternoon, Alex sat alone on a beach, clearly waiting to have “the talk.” Oh, this would be ever so gnarly. Rocky soon arrived dressed like a giant, velour blueberry, causing Alex to ask, “Why you wearing all blue?” Duh! Because she’s feeling blue. Did you not learn anything from the rocky beach opening scene? It’s, like, telegraphed metaphor season!
“Sorry I’m late. We had another Gargamel incident. Almost lost Brainy.”
Anyway, Alex once again insisted that he felt pressured, to which Rocky said that he never said that she should stop pressuring him. He then explained that he never said anything because she always got mad at him, but Raquel emphatically stated that she was going to change her ways and not get so mad. But was it too late? (Yes) “I don’t even know if I want to be in a gnarly relationship like this,” Alex mumbled in his usual distant way. He reiterated that he just wanted some freedom, a request that caused Raquel’s chin to quiver — much the way Tessa’s did when she rented Terms of Endearment with Rocky’s parents.
Rocky and Alex then agreed that they were acting like a married couple when in fact neither of them wanted that. “Maybe I care about you more than you care about me,” Rocky said, in a typically loaded comment.
“Or maybe you care too much,” Alex shot back. Looks like Rocky just felt the burn of a CARE ZING!
Ultimately, Alex didn’t believe that Rocky was going to change her ways, but she insisted she would change for him. Would he give her once more chance? Sure. Why not, right? Congratulations, Rocky! You just bought yourself an extra day before you’re officially broken up!
We then went to commercial break where we saw the much-hyped trailer for Dreamgirls. Flash review: It was exciting! Flashy! Musical! Can’t wait to see Jamie Foxx smugly making his rounds on the press junket! But why no billing for spurned American Idol diva J-Hud? Looks like it’s time for Hudsongate all over again.
Well, just when our spirits could not be brimming any further with Motown enthusiasm, we made a ninety-degree turn back into the world of Laguna Beach where we found none other than THE LEXIE and her friend Bernice (or Rachel, as her “birth certificate” reads) eating outside at a lovely Teutonic-sounding spot called Heidelberg. They seemed preternaturally obsessed with the weather this fine day, with Bernice complaining, “I don’t understand. It was hot all last week and then randomly, this weekend, it’s not hot. We couldn’t have gone to the beach once. It’s ridiculous!” A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY! I don’t know what Bernice was complaining about. You’d think she’d be happy to be in the Southern California sun and away from her old life, as impeccably documented Tuesday night on True Life: I’m a Staten Island Girl. Oh my gawd. What a bunch of jerk-awffs!!
“Horrors!”
Anyway, all this carping about the weather caused The Lexie to reveal, “I haven’t been to the beach in so long.”
“Me either,” Bernice echoed, not realizing she was falling into a classic Lexie trap.
“Really?” The Lexie replied. “You look pretty tan.” OH SNAP!!! THE ICE QUEEN COMETH!!! Yes, Bernice, that was Lexie’s passive-aggressive way of saying, “Way to shellac yourself in bronzer and spray tan.” Tantastic PA — is there anything better?
Bernice then laughed self-consciously and said, “I’m just saying, don’t say a word.” Don’t you worry, Bernice. As long as no one in the world realizes that orange isn’t a natural skin color, your secret will be safe!
Well, as the girls chowed down on their salads, guess who came strolling by? Alex and his new sidekick, Stephen. “Hey, Lexie. Remember me?” Alex asked, adding, “You know, I’m the guy the producers were telling you would ‘accidentally’ bump into you at lunch today. Yeah, that’s me.” Okay, he didn’t say that, but after mentioning that he was Ra-kwell’s (soon to be ex) boyfriend, she suddenly recalled him. THE LEXIE REMEMBERS!
“Greetings. I’m Bernice — The Lexie’s scullery maid.”
Alex then asked what the girls were up to, causing Lexie to answer, “You know, the uszzh.” (That was supposed to be an abbreviation of “usual”). The guys then hovered over the table awkwardly, perhaps expecting the ladies to invite them to sit down. Little did they know that not even the most powerful viscounts of Europe could gain a private audience with The Lexie, and so Alex and Stephen shuffled off to the nether regions of Heidelberg, in search of a table, let alone a few morsels of food. (BTW, next Laguna trip, I’m so going to Heidelberg). Once the boys had left, Lexie smiled and said that Alex was “kind of cute.” Uh oh! The Lexie has her eyes on fresh meat! He shall be conquered!!!
Elsewhere in town, Tessa and Rocky were sitting around as uszzh, just babbling on about their boys and whatnot. Since everything was fine on the Derek front, they spent most of the time talking about — you guessed it — Alex. Rocky relayed the whole conversation at the beach (curiously omitting any details about her blueberry jumpsuit). By the end, Tessa was positively shocked that the two were still together. “Back up, thank God,” Raquel said optimistically. Yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts, VIOLET BEAUREGARDE!
Meanwhile, back at that culinary mecca of gastronomic bliss known as Heidelberg, Alex and Stephen finally found a table… right next to Bernice! What were the odds of that? It’s almost as if the producers threw twenty-five dollars at some people to get them to free up the space. Anyway, with the guys seated right next to them, there was little else for the girls to do but start up some awkward conversation. First they invited the guys to the bonfire, and then Bernice ignited a sparkling discussion when she asked, “Do you guys come to Heidelberg’s a lot?” CURIOUS MINDS WANT TO KNOW!
Personally, I don’t remember how Alex and Stephen responded to Bernice’s probing question. I must have instantly fallen asleep for two seconds. Clearly the guys weren’t particularly interested in discussing their Heidelberg dining patterns; so instead Stephen asked, “Are you guys juniors or seniors?” Lexie and Bernice both answered juniors and then shot the question right back at the boys, who revealed that they were seniors. Yeah… so… good times…
As you could imagine, this polite banter had thoroughly bored The Lexie, who abruptly asked, “Rachel, do you want to leave?” WELL. It seems as though the royal caravan must move on! And so even though their plates were still loaded with food, Lexie and Bernice exited the domain of Heidelberg, perhaps to complain about the weather elsewhere.
Once the girls were gone, Alex began talking to Stephen about Raquel, revealing that maybe he wasn’t being totally sincere when he said he’d give her one more chance. Truth was that he just didn’t seem to like her anymore, mostly on account of her being “too gnarly.” Stephen then compared her to something, but I couldn’t understand him. I think the best I could approximate was “She’s like a lawn.” That didn’t seem to make much sense. But then again, a lawn needs to be cut, and I think that’s what’s going to happen to Rocky!
Alex then told his buddy that he’d be going to the bonfire, and it sounded to me like he wouldn’t be taking nor telling Rocky. Why should he? There were plenty of phyne women around — like Bernice and Lexie, who were presently pulling out of the parking lot, honking and waving at the boys. Wow. The coveted Lexie wave! Surely I thought only Kelan was worthy of such gestures!
“Many good tidings, gentlemen.”
All this just reaffirmed one thing for Stephen: “Maybe you shouldn’t go with Rocky,” he said. The two guys then laughed at his dumb joke for about ten minutes. This could not be good for Rocky’s romantic endeavors…
We then went to a commercial break, and when we returned, all the kids were showing up for the bonfire. With the sun shining, what better way to pass the day than by playing an old-fashioned game of volleyball. Cameron and the boyz (including Alex) quickly shed their shirts and cavorted in the sun while Chase stayed back with the food, eyeing Alex suspiciously and saying, “Who are these guys?” Um, maybe if you paid attention to the same six people who always surround you, you’d know. However, Chase had an even larger question to ask: “Where are all the girls?” Just at that moment, we cut to Lexie, Rachel, and the ever plucky Tara as they approached the beach.
“Aw, no way! Right when I said that, they’re walking over here!” Chase exclaimed, shocked at the lunacy of this coincidence. I mean, it’s crazy! He asked where the girls were, and they were NEARBY!!! OMG!!!! (I’ve just flipped over a coffee table because my mind is so blown).
As soon as the ladies situated themselves, they got to work observing all the guys playing volleyball. “Oh my God, Alex is so cute! Look at him!” Tara gushed, adding, “But what if he likes foie gras???”
“IT’S MOTHERF@#KIN’ GOOSE LIVER!!!!”
Arriving next at this bonfire (which was nothing compared to Roz’s Peace Bonfire last season) was Kyndra, who was already complaining. “I’m not going in the trench!” she balked, perhaps referring to something vaguely sexual. Since Kyndra was bitching about junk, loyal sidekick Cami had to follow suit, and so she attacked the most offensive thing she could find besides this mysterious trench. “Ew! Dirty-ass sand!” Cami scoffed. Um, what exactly did she expect? Funny thing about beaches: they have sand.
Meanwhile, a surprisingly feisty Tara continued to watch the guys playing volleyball, at one point joking, “Cameron, I thought you were good!” Ouch! The little known Tara attack! However, if being insulted by Lexie is like a stingray barb in the chest, then getting dissed by Tara is like a nip from a cuttlefish: harmless.
As for Kyndra, she was still languishing on the beach, complaining, “Oh my God! What is this stuff? I hate this sand!” I didn’t know what she was stepping in, but I hope it involved feces. I’ve never heard people fuss so much about sand in my life. These girls must be dropped from LB4.
Just when the partay couldn’t get any worse, who should show up but the nerd herd: Rocky and Tessa. This caused obnoxious gawking all around, led by none other than THE LEXIE who haughtily said, “Look over there.”
“Oh my God,” Tara added. The only thing that could have been worse would have been if a giant slab of foie gras were making its way to the bonfire too.
Kyndra also supplied her usual dose of bitchiness as she scoffed, “They found us!” and as Tessa approached, she asked Rocky, “Isn’t it cold?” Was she talking about the weather or just her reception.
“The presence of those girls perturbs me.”
“I shall therefore eat this Dorito with disdain!”
Well, everyone sat around the bonfire, chatting away, and it didn’t take long for people to start whispering about Alex and Rocky. “What’s the deal with you and Alex? I would like to know,” Stephen asked Raquel, rather formally, I’d like to add. Rocky said they were back together, but I’m sure all the questions didn’t really give her too much faith in that.
Cami then interjected with a typically inane comment, this time announcing, “I hate the smell of bonfire!” Who hates the smell of bonfire? That’s right: IDIOTS.
Just as they had done to Rocky, the girls then started needling with Tessa about Derek. “Are you and Derek still together, Tessa?” they asked, and when she replied, “Yeah,” Lexie let out one of her typically condescending guffaws. THE LEXIE IS AMUSED!
Kyndra then dared Derek to give Tessa a kiss, but did he do it? NO. (At least, that’s the way it looked according to the editing.) Derek instead touched Tessa’s shoulders and then trotted off to find something or another. Maybe that’s their weird way of kissing. Kind of like how the Coneheads touch foreheads. Anyway, clearly bored after having toyed with Derek and Tessa, Kyndra then set her sights on more exciting things: namely, playing with lighter fluid. Yay! I hope she douses herself by accident and falls in the bonfire.
Meanwhile, Rocky and Tessa decided to go on a little walk where they wallowed in self-pity. “What did we do to deserve this awkwardness, huh?” Rocky asked. How about you don’t date douchebags who only say two words every half hour?
As Tessa and Rocky talked, the other girls took advantage of this opportunity and pried Alex with questions about his dating status. Like vultures circling… Scratch that. Like vultures circling to the sound of bongos. Yes, some idiot brought bongos (or a similar sounding drum) to the bonfire and was thumping them emphatically, somehow thinking that a) this made him cool, or b) anyone at the bonfire even cared about his rhythmic accompaniment (which they did not).
Well, Rocky soon requested Alex’s presence on a walk, and as soon as they had distanced themselves from the group, she told him that she felt there was a wall. She said they could make this relationship work, but she couldn’t do it by herself. Rocky just wanted them to be happy again. “I’m happy,” Alex said unconvincingly. “I don’t feel like you’re happy at all,” Rocky replied. Well, it all depends on what you mean by “happy.” If you mean “miserable,” then yes, he’s very, very happy.
Sensing that Alex was clamming up (at this point, he was pulling a J-Wahl and wasn’t saying anything), Rocky then asked, “Why’s it hard to communicate with you now, hun?” Maybe it’s hard to communicate because HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK.
Over at the bonfire, Cameron speculated as to what was going on between Alex and Rocky, sensitively saying, “I think he’s telling her to kick rocks!” This made Tessa upset, and so Cameron revised what he was saying, noting that he hoped they weren’t breaking up, buuuut… he still thought he was telling her to kick rocks. Sure enough, rocks were being kicked. Alex admitted that he thought it was too late to fix things, causing Rocky to patiently ask, “What are you thinking?” C’mon, Raquel. Time to get with the program. Read the writing on the wall: he don’t wanna be with you. Alas, she needed an explicit answer, and so finally Alex came out and said it: “We’re done.” Awww. I didn’t see that coming at all… except for in all the MTV promos which showed this scene all week long.
And so the two ambled back to the group, and as people whispered about them having just broken up, Alex quickly headed towards his next conquest: THE LEXIE. He made post-bonfire plans with her, taking down her number and all (to be fair, he also grabbed Candice’s too). As for Rocky, he just gave her a passing glance. Stick a fork in it: these two are dunzo!
What did you think about this episode? What do you think about Alex? And where the hell is Breanna? Why wasn’t she at the bonfire?
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77 Comments
That was just super painful to watch! That fuckin’ Alex! I thought he was cool and he straight broke Rocky’s heart. I had to give it to my girl though. She totally handled it with dignity. Well, after she begged him not to leave her, which was totally undignified, but she pulled it at the end. This was also painful to watch because it reminded me of HS with all the drama, backstabbing and fuckin’ pussy guys who can’t just like who they like without approval from their friends. That bitch Derek is totally giving into peer pressure over Tessa. I do not miss those days at all.
Alex used Rocky to get on LB, since he attends a different school. After finding out, she wasn’t with the popular crew, i.e his eagerness at Breanna’s party, he found another girl. It’s sad but those guys are afraid of Kyndra, because for some reason she’s in charge of the social scene and so called “pretty girls” Hence both Derek and Cameron dumping Tessa, and now Alex!
Hilarious recap, B-side! As always, more entertaining than the show itself.
Rocky is way more mature than the average Laguna Beach high school chick. But she’s trying to reason with Alex the way adults do, and let face it: he’s nothing but a kid — light
years away from having a deep and meaningful relationship.
Despite Raquel’s maturity, she somehow missed that point, and the groveling definitely was painful to watch!
I’ve heard Cami complain about bonfires before; she doesn’t like the smokey smell that lingers afterward. Much as I hate to agree with anything she says, I feel the same way about camp & bonfires. The after smell is gross. So I’ll cut her some slack on that one, but I still hope she trips and falls the next time she makes her rude little asides about Tessa.
Rocky continues to impress. I love how she handles and talks things out with maturity. If these kids insist on watching this insipid show (who, me?), let her be a role model, and forget those Kyn/Cam b****es.
Boy, did Alex turn out to be a meathead. What a jerk! Though who really pissed me off this epi was Tessa. For goodness sake, girl! I know it’s been said a thousand times about her having a dishrag personality, but shouldn’t she be able to muster up some emotion at her supposed boyfriend all but ignoring her in public? “It doesn’t bother me, blah blah.” Well, news flash, it should. Someone smack some sense (and a bit of oomph, while you’re at it) into that one already!
Like OMG!! Alex is such a dick!! What a chump asking for another girls number right after breaking up with his old girl. He needs a beat down! At least in the next episode it looks like he gets his! Keep your head up rocky. You dont need his punk butt!
Excellent job on the recap B-side! Funny as hell and as always you are the king!!
I love how even Cami was smart enough to take the lighter fluid away from Kyndra. “YOU are not the one who should have this”….or something like that. Ha Ha Ha Good Stuff! I actually laughed out loud!
And about Alex using Raquel, of course! He’s an aspiring model/actor. And on MTVs overdrive with Rockys house tour she had his composite photo framed on her nightstand. It seemed mysteriously “placed” there, but by whom? Poor Girl.
Oh yeah, and PLEASE someone tell Cameron to pull the front of his shorts up. It is not cute when it’s so extremely deliberate.
“if being insulted by Lexie is like a stingray barb in the chest, then getting dissed by Tara is like a nip from a cuttlefish: harmless.”
Funny stuff^^
Is ‘kick rocks’ a common saying in Southern California? Or is it just another strange thing that Cameron say. He also told that girl “bite your tongue!” when she said he sucked at volleyball. What’s up with this guy?
Great re-cap again B-Side! Ok, what is with this Alex guy?? Did you see how baked he looked while him and his buddy were at lunch? Pass me some of that shit!!!
He moved on pretty quick, a little too quick, but I’ll give him mack daddy points for gettin 3 girls #s (He got Candaces too…Halloween is near, he might have needed a jacolantern for his trailer).
Best quote: Be warned, Cami. Never mock the official bonfire fashion decree of Kyndra!
-Kyndra looked dope at the bonfire anyway!
Next week, Nick gets creepin on Rocky?!?!?! Rocky doesnt seem manly enough for Nick….tune in!
Kind of like how the Coneheads touch foreheads. hahahha.
I feel bad for Rocky. It definately seemed like Alex was turned off by her uncanny maturity and would rather prefer to be with a regular Laguna bimbo.
For some reason, it feels like not a heck lot is going on in this season. Season 2 definately seemed to have more activity. This season is starting to get way too monotonous.
Alex has officially gone J-Whal expect him to down grade from hash (I’m with ya Stalker) to smoking crack to finally bribing a police officer after an intoxicated arrest, news at 11.
I actually thought the Dreamgirls promo was quite apropo “And I am tellin’ you, I’m not goin’ nowhere! You’re the best man I eva knew! No! No! No! No! NO! That had to be running through our poor little blueberry pop tart’s head as she did what unfortunately many teen girls do when faced with getting dumped by someone they actually give a shit about – they beg. The Alex/Rocky trials should be manditory vewing for every freshman girl. The sight of him hitting on the botoxed rat faced Lexie in front of Rocky, shitty extensions and all – screamed you’ve been played.
Tessa get your game face on, cause you’re next. Dereck is another pathetic weak kneed liver boy. Uhg High School never again! I think the ties that bind this little band from hell are quite sinister.
And I believe the erradic interpretation of “Arrest Me Before I Get Too High and Naked” by Mathew McConaughey was done by none other than Nick “Only In My Wet Dreams” W. Or I could be smoking the same shit as Alex?
A day without Kyndra, Cami and Cameron is like a day without mudslides.
Rocky er… rocks – seriously, I was proud of her tonight for taking the final break-up in stride (although she really should have seen it coming much sooner… but remember, despite her maturity she IS only 17).
Alex/James Franco is a total douche. I wanted to kick rocks at HIM – in the groin.
B-Side, could we get a photo of Alex and James Franco side-by-side? The resemblance is uncanny. As uszzh, I didn’t want the recap to end… keep up the good work!
No, no, no…Alex was turned off by Rocky pressuring him to tell her he loved her after what at the most a few months of dating. I mean did you see his body language, he was “pressured”.
I don’t feel bad for her, break ups happen all the time and it seems she’ll be rebounding next week. I just hope James Franco isn’t swept up by that Medusa, Lexie.
Did anyone else notice that Alex seems to do that huffing breath thing like the guy on True Life – II have OCD? He also seemed really pasty and blotchy strange looking.
I thibk he is one – ugly, two – a social climber, and three – about to make himself look like a real ass when he gets jealous about Rocky’s date with Nick…after he just asked for foi gras number mere seconds after her broke Rocky’s heart…what a turd
“Yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts, VIOLET BEAUREGARDE!”
OMG, so freaking funny.
It was definitely pretty obnoxious of Alex to be prancing around gathering numbers from all of the “cool girls” 30 seconds after he broke up with Rocky. I agree with the idea that he was just using her to get on TV, but decide to tell her to “kick rocks” when he realized she wasn’t one of the cool people. That’s nice. It’s too bad that having a brain and not being afraid to show your emotions is not considered cool in high school—hence the reasons why Kyndra and Cami are socially accepted.
B-Side awsome re-cap. I loved the Violet Beauregard comment. So…funny. I loved the comment about Bernice being from the True Life-Staton Island episode. LMAO
Could someone clear something up for me? Is this cast Juniors or Seniors? I’m confused. Wasn’t Cami a Junior last season when she went to the dance with Jason? Now Lexie said she was a Junior. They didn’t make a big deal about them being Seniors like they did in the other seasons? WTF?
Too bad Alex turned out to be such a jerk! He must have relized he wasn’t getting anywhere with the “not so cool” girl who no one talks too. Loser! I can’t believe right after breaking up with Rocky he was over getting phone numbers and being all chatty. SCUMB
I’m sorry Tessa, but you’re next. That is really a lame relationship you have going for yourself.
Thanks for the recap B-side. I missed the first five minutes of Rocky on a rocky beach, but it was like I was there. Funny how Rocky gets associated with landscape in your recaps; the rocky beach, the impenetrable fortress of cactii, and “she’s a lawn.” Frickin’ hilarious.
I know everyone is going to hate me for this, but here goes:
Why does everybody think Rawk-well is so mature? Look at her taste of guys, esp. next week’s fling? with Nick W. C’mon, this is the douchebag/Cameron fanboy we all love to hate. But, I guess it’s just slim-pickins in the ‘Guna. Still, Rocky should have some kind of screening process in place.
As for Alex. He’s gonna do what he’s gonna do as long as stupid girls fall for his Franconian looks. I’d probably do the same if I was in his position. Like everyone said, this IS high school, and everyone does stupid things like these ‘Guna kids do.
The Lexie is hot, and her ice-cold personality cools her down, but is still phyne. IMO.
I used to be a fan of Tessa, and gave her the benefit of the doubt when everyone said she was boring, I just thought she was quiet. But now she reminds me too much of an ex-girlfriend the way she interacts with Derek and pains me to watch.
Kyndra’s the best-looking this season, and how dare you say you wish she caught on fire!
Lagunafied: Kyndra’s the best-looking this season, and how dare you say you wish she caught on fire!”
-HELL YEAH!
@ newtrino, I’m from NorCal and yeah, “kick rocks” is a common saying, at least it was like 5 YEARS AGO. Hahaha!
Cami was a sophomore last season. Remember, Alex M. said Cami was her “favorite” sophomore?
But she was a buttinski even then. It was Cami who texted Alex during their “let’s all get along” girlfriend dinner, just to rat out Jessica. (Cami allegedly walked in on her while she was going down on Jason in the bathroom.)
It was Cami who tried to make nice by asking Alex if it was okay to go to Prom with J-Wahl….only to smirk with Kyndra that she’d have gone with him regardless.
(It was also Cami who shouted, “Worst Prom Date EVER!” afterward. heheheh.
Anyway, back to this week’s episode. I thought the Violet Beauregard reference was hilarious. My first thought was, “why is Raquel dressing like a shluppy housewife??” Since when does blue velour go to the beach??
We said Rocky was mature FOR a high schooler. Especially for a Laguna HS girl.
Who thinks Kyndra is the hottest girl on the show? You probably also think Cruella has it goin on!
That episode with Alex and Rocky was painful to watch. what an ass!! I hated high school boys and it brought back so many painful memories. Hopefully, Rocky will find someone else, someone better.
I love, love, love these recaps, B-side!!! Almost more that actually watching the shows! I had to sign up to tell you how much I look forward to them every week! Keep up the great work.
I must say this was my favorite episode thus far! I don’t know why I love the bonfires so much…(maybe the off chance that Kyndra sets her mouth and Cami’s weave on fire with lighter fluid could be it…)
Anyway…Rocky, Rocky, Rocky….poor girl…I do feel bad and I am happy that she handled things so maturely with Alex. Seriously, I picture myself at 17 at a bonfire with a bunch of bitches that hate me and a boyfriend who dumped me…dude- I would’ve been a mess…would have punched Cami in the face…but still would’ve been a mess. Lexi is gross, her face is crooked…her friends mustache is a force to be reckoned with. If it came down to a dual of personalities…who would win? Alex or Tessa…could you imagine. I gotta give it to Tessa though…her hair looked gorgeous at Derek’s weinerfest the other week. Speaking of weiners…Nick asks Rocky out huh? I think Rocky probably accepts just for the mere fact of not letting Alex see that he gets the best of her since she probably knows that he will be at the WHAM!, I mean Openair stereo concert. Hopefully Kyndra gets some bo-tox or collagen in her lips by then cause I can only take the nose scrunching mouth contortions for maybe another week.
In the conversation where Alex and Stephen are bitching about Rocky’s gnarliness, Stephen says, “she’s like a mom.” Makes sense to me.
Thanks Lora.
I guess this years Seniors really sucked since they are only filming Juniors in this season.
Does that mean we have another season with the same cast? UGH!
This episode made me extremely happy that high school is far far in the past. It’s so true that the guys have absolutely no clue what they’re doing when it comes to dating and they’re stupid “sidekicks” only make it a million times worse with these lame useless comments.
Cameron is annoying and not attractive- total d-bag. How is it he gets any girls?
When Alex was getting phone numbers 5 minutes after dumping Rocky I wanted to punch him in the face. And she’s the one who’s getting called a slut next week? WTF
Without a doubt the best part of this recap was the captioned photo’s, especially the ones with The Lexie. Judging by B-Side’s recap this week, it seems like he and I are on the same page with the whole Lexie thing “ Bring on more! I’ve been having similar pangs for Lexie as B-Side often has when visions of Roz with maracas dance through his head like a fiesta. I’ve been extremely intrigued by Lexie from the minute she was introduced to us by Tessa as the ice princess. I mean c’mon, talk about build up. The male equivalent to that would be Tessa going “That huge, heavily tattooed kid over there is Chris, but his friends in Chino called him Nailz. He’s super hot, but super scary. Jessica’s got her eye on him¦” I want more ice princess and I want it NOW. Between the wooden hugs and the passive aggressive barbs, I simply can’t get enough. I think my mild obsession with her stems from her uncanny resemblance to this bitch I knew in high school. This girl was just as stuck up, rich and prissy as our manikin like friend Lexi. She even danced ballet. The reason I bring this up is, the girl from my school had this unusual phobia¦ Penises. Yup. Touching one with her hand would have been the equivalent of sticking her hand in acid. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at them. They simply repulsed her. She even once told the boyfriend de jour that if he ever pulled it out in her presence she would chop it off. After watching The Lexi in action, I’m getting that same I refuse to touch guy’s packages vibe¦ Man I’m going to hell
I think I might be alone here, but I pray to god this is the beginning of the end for our dumpy blueberry. I’m just getting so sick of her horribly boring storylines. Kyndra, Cami and the rest are extremely annoying and suck as well, but at least the crap they do keeps things on the show mildly interesting. Tessa and Rocky both need to go away. Fast. Also did anyone else immediately think of George Costanza telling Jerry about how if it were socially acceptable, he would ensconce himself in velvet when Rocky showed up in her vision of velour glory? I have NO sympathy for Rocky, it was her fault she started dating the f’in turd in the first place.
I am still very upset that they gave the narration to Tessa!! seriously this girl could blow a lot of these girls out of the water if she stepped it up some notches. She is very sweet but jeez she does not make for good tv at all. Maybe if she gained a backbone and stopped worrying about saying something wrong or actually stick up for herself she would be interesting, then at least she could keep Derek around, not that he’s that great anyways. seriously when he touched her shoulders and she went to place her hands on his but he just walked away and she just sat there lookin awkard i was just like are you serious?! aren’t you “dating” him? and as for Alex he is hot but i would have loved to see Rocky dump him instead…i’m glad she’s not dwelling on it next episode as she looks like she’s moved on and then he has the nerve to get mad and call her a slut or something…typical douche you dumped her remember? I hope he feels stupid for getting those girls numbers later, i mean seriously what do those self involved idiots have to offer anyone?!
Rocky handled the break up well. I have always admired the way she handles herself, especially the way she handled Brianna when they met for lunch. She cooly told Brianna how she felt sbout the situation and never once stooped to being immature or petty. I was sad to see Alex turn out to be such a jerk.
Why hasn’t anyone mentioned that Cami’s clothing bill at the store came to $4K? What teen spends that much in one shopping trip? And that awful sweatshirt she was trying on and raving about was not worth $4K….
TVCheese…I totally agree with your statement about Alex calling Rocky a slut. Just because she was “talking” to someone right away. Of course, it was perfectly acceptable to get another girls phone number right in front of her two minutes after “kicking rocks” at her. The only thing that creeps me out is that she would sink as low to go out on a date with NastyNick.
On another note, it just cracks me up that all these parties and gatherings are staged. Take for instance Rocky’s Christmas party. It seemed like all of Laguna was there, including The Lexie. If Rocky and Tessa are hated so much, why would any of them have came. Of course, I’m sure it’s strictly for TV, but there was a much bigger attendance at both Rocky and Tessa’s parties than at either of Kyndra’s or Cammi’s. ????
AND AGAIN……WHERE IS BREANNA????!!!! WTF????
So exactly how many ways are there to use the word “gnarly?”
I LOVE this site, and I have to comment on this whole Alex thing – he was using Rocky from Day ONE to get his face on this show. Anyone who didn’t see this is either blind, or is named “Rocky”. He was so uncomfortable around her, he had absolutely no interest in a “relationship” with her whatsoever, but he kept her strung along so he could appear on several episodes, and now maybe more if he weasels his way into another stupid chick. On most every scene where he and Rocky were together & conversing, he was fake as hell. She’s gushing all over him, so in love, and he could barely contain his dislike of her! I wanted to reach thru the TV and pour hot coffee over her head – WAKE UP!! She and Tessa are the geeky outcasts – it’s like the stronger popular girls have ganged up to attack & kill the weak. Breanna is probably a freshman, maybe that’s why she’s not on the show – plus she’s an annoying little crybaby. I think we have to suffer thru one more year of these random gnarly assholes. The difference between this cast and the last two years’ cast is amazing – I didn’t think people could get any more vapid than season 1 & 2, but they did!!
“…faster than you can say Mission Viejo”
B-Side you’re killin’ me.
I’m gonna have to start sending you my dry cleaning bills ‘cuz you make me wet ‘em everytime.
OK. Im’ off to find a rubber office chair!
wow, comments galore!
first, what’s up w/ these chicks that are actually brunettes but they dye their hair blonde? AT LEAST get your roots done on a very regular basis so you at least look like you’re suppose to be blonde instead of wanna-being it. PLEASE!!!
Alex took the very typical male/j-wahl route in that break up, reminding us that is really is only 17 or whatever. The whole bonfire scene reminded me of so much that I hated in highschool. They literally JUST broke up and everyone’s whispering about it, as if Rocky wasn’t sitting right there, hearing it all. Then seeing Alex immediately hit on Lexie, nice, way to be, don’t worry about tact, it’s over rated. (fyi: that’s sarcasm)
and, as if we all didn’t know, Kyndra and Cami are really just stupid. They live in a beach community, sand is all around them! They went to the damn bonfire-duh, you’re going to smell bonfire- on the beach-duh, there’s going to be sand-. And yes, Roz’s bonfire was much much better!
How can we find out where Alex goes to college? He was, after all, a senior last year… I say we all crash his dorm room, or at the very least pin a bunch of douchebags on his door.
So painful to watch! It’s ok Rocky! She’s the one cool chick on the show, with maturity that’s unusual for HS let alone LB. All the guys on this show are tools! It was a horrible mismatch. Alex is actually smart not to open his mouth, it makes him look like the nasty retard he is. Someone cool deserves her!
B-Side, I think the kids’ “random” un-constructive criticism is rubbing off… the Gargamel comment was perfect though.
HS sucks. I’m SO GLAD LIFE ISN’T LIKE THAT!
Wait – is Alex in college?
I thought by “different school” they meant he was from Dana Point, Laguna Hills or(dare I suggest?) Mission Viejo.
Sorry, but I’ve got to quote the ever eloquent Cami on this one:
EW!
and by “EW” I mean:
College student cruising high school chicks just to score face time on TV “EW”
Not “EW” Laguna Hills, Dana Point or the much maligned Mission Viejo
Alex is a total jerk! It looks like we’ll see just how immature he really is next week. I mean seriously, it’s ok for him to get 3 girl’s phone numbers but when she goes out with a guy he goes into this little 1st grade phase calling her a slut and whatnot. Yeah, let’s just hope Rocky doesn’t end up going back for more like Jessica did with J-Wahl.
Alex is such a douchebag. Asking for girls’ numbers right in front of Rocky after they broke up about 2 seconds beforehand was very tacky. And it didn’t make him seem like a player, if that was what he was going for. It made him look like a desperate idiot. I agree with a previous poster, he is a social climber. It’s very sad. And to call her a slut in next week’s episode, only makes him a hypocrite.
2 Old for this- I think they meant since the show is taped last year that Alex would be in college now..in real time…
There is nothing I want more then for Cami and Kyndra to talk their shit one day and Tessa just walk up to one of them and punch them in the face. That would make this the best season ever. Now THAT is “real life, highschool” atleast at my high school it was! Like Casey said Alex had a stinky snatch! How did Alex not smack her!!! ugggh…these Laguna kids!!!! But yet, I tune in faithfully every wednesday like a dork to see it!!!! Something good just has to happen, I keep waiting and waiting…Alex actually reminds me of a hot Stephen…cause stephen was not all that. He even sounds like Stephen in next weeks episode when he’s screaming that Rocky is a slut (remember the Cabo Kristen fiasco when she hooked up with Sam?) poor Wynona, I hope she puts James Franco in his place next week!!!!
Ooooh – got it.
Thx WTF
i felt so bad for rocky.. it was almost like alex was using her just to get on the show . if he was guna break up with her he should have at least waited a while before asking lexie for her phone number. and why is breanna never on this show??
I thought Chase and Tessa were supposedly “best friends”? How is it that they didnt seem to hang out at the bonfire at all?
I swear if I ever have a daughter I will force her to watch this DVD and show her hwo high school really is.
Alex is such a tool. Rocky will look back on this and cringe that she was so in love with him.
Damn! I honestly kept reading thinking at the end you were going to SKEWER Alex for being such a douche-bag and getting those numbers at the bonfire! I can’t believe you gave him a free pass on that. You missed the mark, B-Side. ALEX – YOU SUCK!
And I just have to add about next week – girls EVERYWHERE get branded a “slut” for absolutely nothing. Rocky gets dumped – god forbid she accepts a date from someone else and has fun on the date! How DARE she! God, Alex – you really are an ass. I’m sorry you haven’t learned a thing about how to treat women with class by now. Sad, sad, sad. ROCKY – out of all of those girls – who I predict will look all botoxed, leather-faced and used-up in 20 years (not to mention on their 2nd marriages), YOU AND TESSA are class acts! They must be mortified at their behavior, and the two of you have done nothing but represent yourselves beautifully. Kudos to you!
Hey WTFLaguna – agreed. I had flashbacks of Cabo too when I saw the preview. I was thinking, oh great, Alex is Stephen Colleti PT.2! Doesn’t he remember from his mentor that even after calling Kristin a slut, Kristin still went on to play him…over…and over…and over again? I always thought Alex was just a normal, non-emoting teenage boy.. then I realize he’s just another aspiring model/actor from the OC using the only “nice” girl in ‘Guna for some airtime. Hope The Rock gets through this one! Don’t go emo on us, Rocks!
And after Lexie mentioned Bernice (I don’t even know her real name.. but it doesn’t really matter anyway) looked pretty tan, B said, “Fake-n-bake, shhhh.” Really, Bernice? I couldn’t tell. BIG FUCKIN’ SECRET! From the look that Lexie gave in return, I’m guessing the secret has been out way before their lunch date at Heidelberg’s. Oh to be young and naive again…
So now we know that Cami hates the beach, dirty ass sand, Tessa, Rocky’s parties, the smell of bonfire, being called dirty, and J-Wahl as her prom date. Got it. Every high school needs an instigator and a narc.. and she fills the role perfectly.
But seriously, can someone punch Kyndra in the jaw and put her chin in place? I’d do it.. but she’s a minor and I don’t want to get sued. Such is life.
Tessa drives me nuts. She’s pretty strong for dealing with her illness, so I don’t see why she can’t stand up to Derek’s dumb friends, or at least just play along with their stupidity (trust me, it works). These guys are hardly known for their witty repartee, so it wouldn’t take much to one-up them. Christ.
i wish the cast of LB4 would be:
Rocky
Lexie
Breanna
Alex
Chase
Kelan
sidekicks:
Tara
Rachel
Nick
Derek
and some new guys and girls. i’ve had enough of kyndra and cami. all they do is shop, and complain. not interesting at all.
Hey B-side, I’m a long time reader, first time poster from Australia. And as you’ve hear many times before, your recaps are fricken hilarious and way better than this season’s LB.
Anyway, moving along… I am yet to view this episode (as I am impatiently waiting for someone to upload it onto You Tube) but my heart goes to Rocky, poor girl. If I were her, I would have kicked Alex in the balls, punched Lexie in her dancing queen face, and smashed Kyndra and Cami’s heads together whilst setting them alight a looooong time ago.
If this is what high school is really like in America, then I’m so glad I live in Australia. Yes, high school still had it’s moments, but there was not half as much bitchiness as what is being shown on this season’s LB.
On a different topic, what’s up with the LB3 kids mentioning their cash all the time? I’m sure it was never really spoken about in past seasons. Are they trying to prove they are the spoiled, selfish, shallow air heads that we already know they are??
I was wondering when someone was going to make the Alex-Stephen Colletti connection (thanks WTFLaguna & IjustWatch!) This is my first post on this site regarding the Season 3 cast but I’ve been reading the comments looking to see if others had noticed the similarities between the two guys. Even prior to seeing the upcoming “Rocky is a slut” scenes, Alex physically reminded me of Stephen. In fact, at first glance I momentarily thought Alex was Stephen. It was several episodes back and he was in Rocky’s kitchen (I believe) during his “nice-guy” days. I was surprised to see “Stephen” because I thought his Laguna days were history. Then someone said, “Alex” and I realized he was simply a Stephen-look-alike. Maybe that’s why he got in the show to begin with¦for those people who are going through Stephen-withdrawal.
Anyway, is Alex a huge disappointment or what? For a while there it seemed like he was the one decent guy amongst a group of narcissistic rats (e.g., Cameron). But after this last episode, his true colors have been exposed. Stephen Colletti may have been a bit annoying and deceptive by playing the two girls (Kristin and L.C.) but he did have some endearing qualities and his heart was usually in the right place. But Alex has proven to be a flat-out loser. He was very disrespectful of Rocky at the bonfire when he hit-up those girls for their phone numbers in front of her. Especially knowing that he had just broken her heart by dumping her. Even if he didn’t want to be in a committed relationship and felt the break-up was necessary, he appeared to have some good times with Rocky while they were dating. He even said that he loved her (granted it was followed up by, “I think so”) and she practically worshipped the ground on which he walked. He could have at least had the common decency to get the girls’ phone numbers at a different time and location. Maybe at the Heidelberg since it seems to be the place to randomly run into people of the opposite sex with whom you are interested in “hooking up.”
As for Rocky, she is one class act. She may have been temporarily duped by Alex’s sweet boyfriend act, but now the truth is known and her time can be freed up to find a guy that is worthy of her. Plus, she still has the backing of her staunchest supporter, Tessa. Although some may call her bland or boring, she is a loyal friend to Rocky just as Rocky has been to her. Both of these girls deserve so much better than the jerks we’ve seen them with so far. Derek’s behavior is also a bit of a letdown but not a complete surprise since we saw snippets of his less-than-stellar personality prior to his sushi date with Tessa. However, with Alex, we never saw his pre-Rocky personality…we first met him when he just started dating her and was out to impress. So when he turned out be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, it had to of blindsided Rocky.
With respect to Kyndra and Cami, I think they are a complete waste of airtime. They have nothing to contribute to the show except nastiness and evil. Their hateful personalities may have been the reason they were cast in the first place, but quite frankly, their bad-mouthing has gotten so old and boring, it’s excruciating.
Hopefully in future episodes we will see good things ahead for Rocky and Tessa, even if it means hanging with a different group of kids. It doesn’t seem like the crowd they’ve associated with so far have done them any good.
This epi was kinda harsh. I hope Rocky sees it and learns to NEVER beg a guy again. I learned that the hard way Freshman year. Having said that: why the hell do Tessa and Rocky show up to these things by themselves. Don’t they have other friends? And if they show up because they are friends with the guys…then why don’t they hang with the guys instead of sitting there and letting these bitter bitches burn holes in them. This reminds me of soap operas…..I mean if Rocky and Tessa just let themselves be treated like crap…then they deserve it (IMO). Also, this town must be uber small. I cannot believe that Kyndra, Cami, and Lexie are the best looking popular girls in LB. Breanna is just a mess. She looks nothing like LC. When she comes on-screen I wanna feed her a carrot. And note to Kyndra/Cami: The Kristen mold was broken. Unfortunatly for us hard-core LB fans there will never be quite another as this bad-ass bitch. Let’s just hope that Kyndra hooks up with another ass who treats her like crap or that Cami manages to get some poor idiot drunk enough to date her. I’d like to see that!!!!
This episode was kind of painful to watch. I felt so bad for Rocky and Alex is such a jerk. I can’t believe he would actually ask for other girl’s numbers right in front of the girl she just dumped. I felt kind of embarassed for her to be seen on television begging a guy to stay with her.Live and learn I guess.Gotta add I knew that Nick had a thing for Rocky cause he kept asking Tessa about her or telling her to say hi to Rocky for him back in the San Diego ep. I remember him saying that he loved her but she had a boyfriend to Taco the waiter. As for Derek I was watching a LB marathon (I guess?) and I noticed that he is the one who brought Tessa to her surprise party…I hope she doesn’t get too involved with him cause it seems like he’s gonna dump her pretty soon.Those girls can definitely do better than those jerks.BTW what happens with Jessica now? Do we not get to see her anymore now that Fathead dumped her? Just wondering.
Great recap as always B-Side
I do not think I can watch those Super egomaniacs Cami, Kyndra and Lexie freeze out Raquel and Tessa anymore. It is just plain ignorant. They do not have an qounce of class which is obviously something they think they have. Cami and Kyndra are just nouveau riche white/tan trash. Lexie is just a boring jealous slug. I cannot believe how Rocky and Tessa continue to handle themselves with such maturity and class in front of those superficial ho’s. I sometimes wish they would just lose it and tell fat troll face Cami, drag queen Kyndra, whiny pitiful Breanna and vacuous Lexie to f-off and get a life that is not based on jealousy, their appearence and putting down the girls that have so much more then they do to offer.
Hahaha, MichyPR – I love the name “Fathead” for Cameron. Seriously, what is the deal with that dude? His head is like a cinderblock.
well i see alot of ya’ll are having flashbacks from hs.n/w mtv just show what going to happen on the rest of lb3,BREANNA is hooking up with …tessa man derek,alex is trying to go back with rocky,kydra guy ty,ty show up @ a party & she don’t want him there
CMC- “Even prior to seeing the upcoming “Rocky is a slut” scenes, Alex physically reminded me of Stephen. In fact, at first glance I momentarily thought Alex was Stephen.”
I agree! I thought it was Stephen when I first saw him.
Alex – James Franco? Alex looks like he has a pumpkin on his neck and he is nothing like Stephen either except for the haircut. He can barely complete a sentence either. What a dick wad calling Rocky a slut after how he handled breaking up with her and then asking those two losers for their phone numbers. Pease MTV make sure Cami, Kyndra Lexie and the girl with the mustache graduate. They all seem so stupid and immature compared to Rocky and Tessa and I do not think anyone can take another season of them. If they are juniors can you get them transferred to a special school. Especially the two with the ugly personalities, Kyndra and troll Cami. One more thing, when Kyndra asked Hobbit Tyler for a “kissie poo” I literally missed a few minutes of the show while I threw up.
Kyndra and Cami try SO hard to be Kristin. I remember reading something (I think Teen People) and they asked Kyndra which former Laguna cast-member was she most like and she said something like “I don’t think I’m like any of them, I’d like to think I’m my own person” or something like that.
Nice try, K-Cavi wannabe.
I am in Australia, and we are about 4 days behind you guys with the eps. I love reading these recaps before watching the episodes – it makes it that much funnier! If Kyndra and Cami went to school here – they woudl ge their heads kicked in!
Every episode has Kyndra & Cami shopping. LB is not that big! They must know the shops’ inventories better than the employees.
Seriously, it appears they do NOTHING else. What a sorry excuse for human beings that pair makes.
Ok first off, somebody was the saying the other day that the season is almost over and everybody jumped down their throat saying its only halfway¦ Well the season ends on November 14th I believe, so everybody can start apologizing to that person now.
Secondly CMC I couldn’t disagree more with what you said about Stephen being a good guy at heart. I don’t know if we watched the same show, but from my vantage point I don’t think I saw Stephen do one redeemable thing in either season, or do one thing that didn’t have his clear best interest in mind. Two of my favorite Stephen moments that illustrate this were the time in Cabo where he just blatantly used Lauren to try and make Kristen jealous, capped off by him whispering in Lauren’s ear that her voice makes him want to stay in, while mouthing I love you to Kristen across the table as he was leaving to nail LC(Possibly the funniest scene in the shows history.) My other favorite wasn’t even on the show, but it was the much alluded too first season winter formal where Kristen and Lauren both finally figured out that Stephen had been lying and hooking up with them both the entire school year, so they confronted him together in the bathroom and locked the door to get answers. So with the 3 of them standing there, LC/KC asked him who he really wanted, and Stephen goes I love you Kristen, I don’t even like Lauren, I was just hooking up with her to make you jealous. So Kristen still skeptical, goes alright then, look at Lauren right now and tell her you don’t like her or I’m not buying it, so Stephen turns and looks at LC in the eye and goes “Lauren I don’t like you at all, I never have and I never will, I love Kristen” and LC flies out of the bathroom balling her eyes out. Great guy. Wasn’t he supposedly her best friend too?
Also I think its pretty funny how everybody is getting so upset for Rocky and Tessa. Boo fucking hoo. The reason they both show up alone at parties is because nobody likes them. I’ll give you that they are the 2 most genuine, nice people on the show, but that doesn’t equate to ratings, or even a watchable show. If this show only had people the likes of Tessa and Rocky, all just going out on dreamy dates with surfer losers, this show would be terrible. I don’t know about you, but I watch this show for the drama. I watch this show to see douchebags like Kyndra and Cami, be bitches to girls like Tessa and Rocky. I watch this show to see jerkoffs like Cameron and Alex act and look like morons on national tv. Its great, and more than anything that’s what high schools really like, I don’t know if you guys remember high school, but high school is not one big fairy tale. Rocky and Tessa bring it upon themselves, just like Lauren did.
Sorry that post was so serious, it’ll never happen again haha
I don’t think Tessa and Rocky are all that great. I think they have done something in the past to make the others not like them. Even the boys don’t act like they like them that much. Maybe it is because they are lame and not that pretty. (for the guys.)
Highschool girls are just haters. The other two may have done something for the queen bees not to like them and it could be just something really dumb. I think maybe Rocky did something that the other girls don’t like and they don’t like Tessa because they don’t like Rocky.
LMAO I know! I don’t really see what the girls like about him he also has weird teeth, they’re too big or something.
I’m a long time reader of the recaps, but this is my first time posting.
First, I want to say that in the very first episode Tessa said this year she decided to “stick up” against the other girls. Yeah, still waiting on that Tess…
Also, I almost never watch the After Show stuff online, but I decided to for some reason this past week. One of the segments was about the various charities and volunteer groups each kid is involved in. Of course, I was skeptical from the get-go about this whole thing, but some of the kids seemed genuine (Kelan, maybe even Cami, but definitely NOT Cameron who considered helping coach the junior high water polo team as giving back to the community). It was only in the last 30 seconds of the segment in which Candace informs us that they need community service hours to graduate. I guess it all makes sense in the end.
I really hope a spring break episode is in the near future…
Laguna Consultant:
You made the comment that maybe I wasn’t watching the same show as you because of two incidents pertaining to Stephen Colletti’s bad-boy behavior in the first season. But one of your two examples wasn’t even part of the show, it was a rumor. So we were watching the same show I just didn’t have the same inside knowledge as you.
Your First Example: You stated that in Cabo, Stephen mouthed to Kristin, “I love you,” while whispering seductively into LC’s ear. I too saw the scene of him mouthing, “I love you,” but neither you nor I really know the context of that scene since we see him mouth the words and then we see a separate shot of Kristin looking disgusted. For all we know those could be two separate and unrelated scenes because that show is notorious for its hatchet edit-jobs. I’m not saying that those incidents happened on two different days, times or places. But the order in which they are aired is suspect at best (e.g., one scene Jessica has brown hair, the next she doesn’t, etc.).
Your Second Example: You stated that the second time Stephen proved himself to be a jerk was not even actually in the show but rather it was rumored to have happened. You mentioned that somehow it was discovered that LC and Kristin locked Stephen in a bathroom at Winter Formal and refused to let him out until he came clean as to which girl he wanted. Now Laguna Consultant, that may very well have happened, but I wasn’t going by hearsay when I made my observations, I was going by what I actually saw on the show and not what supposedly happened. Were you standing outside that bathroom door at Winter Formal too?
In no way did I ever think or say Stephen was any kind of a saint. To be honest, I didn’t even like him at first. He did stupid things trying to juggle the two girls and using LC at times. I will give you that much. But my whole point was that I saw similarities between Alex and Stephen, however I didn’t see the cold-heartedness from Stephen that I did from Alex on this most recent episode. At times I saw some good qualities from Stephen¦he genuinely did not want to see LC get hurt.
I was singing Alex’s praises for being such a nice guy and then he did a 180-degree turnaround on Rocky. I don’t recall Stephen ever having such a drastic personality change the way Alex did with Rocky.
Laguna Consultant, you say you watch the show for the drama and that’s fine, I agree. But there is a difference between drama and cruelty.
I guess we’re going to have to agree to disagree about the show¦but that’s okay.
I love LB because it’s fun to watch stupid, spoiled brats fuck each other over.
That being said…
I think Tessa used to be in the QB’s and Wannabees, and may even have been the QB. I think two things happened that might have turned the tables – 1) She developed some kind of GNARLY skin disease, which is an automatic disqualifying event for QB’s, and 2) The Sisty Uglers (Kyndra& Cami) dropped some of their load-ass, and started showing up on the testerone radar. I think Tessa’s acting nice now, but if you really watch her she’s not lacking in confidence or self-esteem, and doesn’t seem to take any of the social stuff that seriously. She’s definitely NOT intimidated by TSU, she only gets uncomfortable when it’s like 2 or 3 to her one. I’ll bet she’s not really that nice – she’s just biding her time until college.
Also, the guys like her. Popular guys don’t go for unpopular girls. They ‘ll fuck them, but they won’t go on dates with them.
I felt bad for Rocky, but she was WAY too serious. Dating is supposed to be fun at that age, she was acting like a needy housewife. Also, she makes too many damn cookies, what kind of well-adjusted teenager spends that much time in the kitchen – JEEZUZ got to the f’ing beach, bitch!
Someone was discussing who they would like to see on the cast for the next season. If we had the chance, I’d say, get rid of em all and bring back Kristin and Roz, and more or less everyone from season 2. That was quality television at it’s best. These people all are seriously lacking in the personality(not to mention looks) department—both the guys and the girls. I can honestly say, I really don’t find any of them to be the least bit attractive.
However, the one thing that makes me keep watching, as probably the rest of you, is the fact that has nothing has changed. I am embarassed to say, I am 29 years old, I graduated from high school 11 years ago on the other side of the country. However, we had a Kyndra(self-proclaimed cool girl who’s not NEARLY as hot as she thinks she is), a Cami(her mean, extremely unattractive sidekick), a Tessa/Rocky combo(nicer girls who really weren’t considered as cool, primarily because they were actually decent human beings—not necessarily saints though), and we all had a Cameron/Stephen/Jason(the guy who treated the girls like crap who really wasn’t even that cute but for some reason, got the girls anyway).
The point I’m getting at is, 11 years later and 3000 miles away, nothing has really changed that much. I guess it’s just sort of entertaining seeing someone else have to deal with all the s—t we had to go through. That said—-I wouldn’t do it again for all the money in the world. College, on the other hand, I’d relive that in a second. They should make a show about that.
I can’t believe I’m about to dive into a full fledge Laguna debate. I thought about agreeing to disagree like you said, but your argument was too flawed to leave it alone. I will give you credit though, because the line “Were you standing outside that bathroom door at Winter Formal too?” genuinely cracked me up.
First of all with the Cabo thing, you argued that it might not have been as bad as they made it seem on TV. While yes I agree that MTV jumbles scenes and things people say into different order to get a desired effect, you can’t deny that the things that happened that night were portrayed correctly on TV. They were both blatantly jockeying back and forth trying to make the other jealous, which couldn’t have been displayed better by Kristen, who spoon feeding the loser next to her and then stared at Stephen afterward. Stephen asked Lauren to leave for one reason and one reason only, to make Kristen jealous. He did not care one bit that this was going to mess with Lauren or hurt her feelings when she found out why he did it.
Secondly, your whole argument about the winter formal thing is based solely upon the possibility of it not being true, which it is. Lauren, Kristen and Stephen actually tandemly tell the story in the book “Inside the Bubble” with all key points I made being things that all 3 of them said happened. You stated that in your argument, you based it solely upon what happened in the show since you did not have the “inside knowledge” that I apparently did. This is flawed by the joke you made. You clearly knew what I was talking about since you stated “Were you standing outside that bathroom door at Winter Formal too? Which showed that you had heard the story before, and knew that there were several people standing at the door trying to figure out what was going on as this transpired.
There are also SEVERAL smaller examples during the first couple of seasons that I won’t get into because I’ve already written enough and I’m already a big enough loser to begin with for arguing about this show. If you’d like me to though, I’ll list a few.
I think what it comes down to though, is that somebody has a little crush on Mr. Colletti hahaha
And one last thing – I sent this email to the Sports Guy on ESPN.com a couple days ago and I don’t know why I didn’t post it here either. Its just an idea I had a while ago about spicing up “The Challenge” that I’ve been adding to for a few months now. I’m sure you all will find it pretty interesting.
“I am absolutely BS right now¦ In your mailbag today you let Dan from Chicago steal my idea that I proposed to you over 6 months ago when Fresh Meat premiered, and I’m from Boston to boot. He mentioned having Laguna Beach castmates on “The Challenge” next season. In the email I wrote to you, I not only expanded on the idea, but noted much more worthy reasons to have this added than seeing cokehead Jason hit on Tanya. For example, why stop with Laguna Beach? With Real World the only filler now into the challenge cesspool of “talent” why not take people from all MTV’s reality shows? Do this not only for the obvious reasons, but also because I doubt many people from Laguna are going to want to get completely embarrassed on the challenge, due to the their complete ineptitude in every aspect of life besides acts involving boards. They could set it up a lot like previous challenges: 12 Real World/Road Rules allstars Vs. LC, Jason, Cameron and Kyndra from LB, Alex, Max, Kristen and Blair from Two-A-Days, Aubrey and Aundrea from Making the Band and the guys from Rob and Big. I would say Xzibit and Wilder Valderama, but I doubt they would touch this with a ten foot pole. Who wouldn’t watch this show? I don’t even feel right talking about the possible situations that would arise if this show came to fruition, they are honestly endless. Would ANYTHING that happened on this show really surprise you? This show would destroy the “Tysonic” meter as we know it. You know whats even scarier, speaking of the Tysonic people, do you really think that if MTV approached Tyson himself and offered a plump paycheck in front of him that he would say no to “Coaching” one of these teams? Dear God I need to stop before I have an aneurism¦”
Laguna Consultant:
You are too hard core for me when it comes to this show. You almost sound like an attorney trying to convince a jury in a court of law¦not that there’s anything wrong with that.
For the record, up until now, I had never heard of that “Bubble” book you referenced. My comment about you standing outside a bathroom door was my attempt (albeit poor) at humor and a little sarcasm.
I concede defeat – but only with respect to continuing this debate because I still disagree with you. I will say however, that I admire your passion for this show and pretty much every other show on MTV.
Take care and happy viewing!
LagunaConsultant,
you’re right, you are a loser
I’d rather see footage of Rocky baking cookies than another scene with Kydra and Cami shopping or drinking coffee while smirking about how the boys don’t like anybody but them.
I just have WAAAAY to much free time at work during the day. And I’m also the type of person who could argue all day long over very very stupid things… Such as MTV reality shows
On the other hand fulfill the dream, your the type of person who sits around on message boards all day, not because you enjoy talking about the shows you watch, but because you like trying to act like a tough guy since you can’t pull it off in real life. I’ll give you this, nobody pulls off passive aggressive tones on a message board quite like you. Its funny you try to play it off like you don’t enjoy the show, yet you come on here and make posts talking about how you noticed that Roz’s and Candice’s houses were not the same from the passing glances MTV shows you. Thats defintely not something the untrained eye would pickup. The arguements I made were extremely vanilla and something that somebody who has watched the show 3 times could have picked up on. Obviously your pretty invested here, so before you throw the next PA barb somebody’s way, you should probably take a quick look in the mirror.
And while I’m here CMC, I actually didn’t know there was a book either until B-Side starting pimping it in his recaps as a prize for contests. This led me to finding a cliff note esq version online that had exerpts of all the juicy stuff minus the boring crap(which I guess is most of the book.) It seems like a decent read though if you like the show, which you obviously do.
Laguna Consultant, I’m flattered that you noticed my postings and so fondly remember them.
I never said I didn’t like the show, I schedule my Wed. nights around it, but just like B-Side’s recaps, part of the fun is shooting holes in the show.
I actually enjoy your drawn out postings, I’d probably do the same if more time existed on my work schedule.
And if you’re as hot as you are well written and passionate, then we might make a pretty good couple.
The things you can learn on this comment page I never knew that LC and Kristian found out that Stephen was cheating with them both. Makes sense why they hate eachother and it makes sense why she went after Brody. What comes around goes around. I think the reason the show is stupid this season is because I never realised how a year in HS can make such a difference think about it their Jrs. yes not much might change but that whole year makes a difference even KC calmed down (a little) her Sr. Year. Cami and Kyndra are pathetic. Tessa didn’t have an alergic reaction to some medicine she was really sick the meds she took to get well made her skin pasty and pail discolored she didn’t want to see anyone from going to a teen model to a teen freak may have been the reason. The reason they stopped talking to her because they labled her weird from her illness and didn’t know if she could spread her illness or what. Girls are stupid sometimes. The reason Rocky is hated is simply because she became friends with Tessa and stopped really hanging with Breanna who was her BFF. HS drama your right nothing much has changed but, the girls are more easy and selfish. Ever noticed they switch boyfriends like they change underware and they all share the same guys eww can anyone say MANO.
Woaaah… Not the type of comment I was expecting back from you… I almost didn’t post my comment because I thought it would trigger you to send the comment from hell my way, replete with swears and other random insults. Very big of you.
I don’t know what surprised me more, the fact you didn’t respond viciously, or the fact that your actually a girl… Or Maybe not… Uh oh… Yikes…
I hate Lexie! She’s such a stuck-up little bitch. She’s the kinda girl I’d love to punch. Hard.
And Alex is such a scumbag piece of shit! To make plans with Lexie RIGHT after he broke Rocky’s heart… I hated to see it.