Launch My Line: Boobs and Butts

Happy holidays, Gasmii! Did you all have a lovely holiday? I had to work Christmas Eve morn, which was only made tolerable by the cash bonus and free catered breakfast I received for showing up. The rest of the long weekend was the usual holiday frenzy where I gained ten pounds and held back a zillion stress-induced tears and drove a million miles through several states. Now I’m back home, sittin’ in my snowflake jammies at one in the afternoon, ready to tell you how ridiculous this week’s episode of Launch My Line was. I know you’re excited. I am too! Let’s get to work! First up is our reminder of what happened last week so we can put the puzzle pieces together this week. Apparently, it’s most important for us to remember that Latifah and Coco hate each other, and that Lady Gaga is M!ssundaztood. (“Most girls want a man with the bling-bling, got my own thing, got a jumpsuit, I just want real love!”) No mention of Flamebrow’s issues with VolcanoRoberto? Well, hmm.

Ah, it’s our weekly breakfast together. (With 28 hours on the challenge clock.) A time to swig OJ and snack on bacon before the chaos of the challenge begins. Once again, Lady Gaga is holding court about her performance so far. She’s got the dumb stringy headband around the equator of her scalp again. Y’all know I hate that, right?

Anyway, she is a unique little butterfly, in that where most people who are consistently in the bottom during judging need to step up their game, SHE needs to step DOWN her game. No one can be bothered to take this seriously enough to explain the difference between the literal and the figurative, so that she can understand that just because she needs to tone down the tacky doesn’t mean she’s “stepping down”. It’s a step up if you actually start to design something awesome! Oh wait, I liked her last two designs, didn’t I? Well, I still see lots of room for improvement with this chick, but I think her ship is sailing soon.

Gaga’s expert, Wedge Head, keeps her trap shut during breakfast, but she speaks up in an interview to tell us that she believes in Gaga’s vision. But…she feels it’s her duty to try to help Gaga put that vision into a garment that people actually want to wear. Ya know, I like this Wedge Head. She’s a smart cookie. I bet she goes home tonight. Meanwhile, Coco is hovering near the conversation, mute and pissy as always.

DuhSquared stroll in to greet the designers. Um, WTF with your little matching chain belts? Is this a suburban shopping mall in 1994? And could those jeans be any lower-slung? I’m always amazed at how long these guys’ torsos are considering they are five feet tall. Their proportions are staggering. Also, VolcanoRoberto is massaging Feather Earrings. That guy bugs me. Duh2′s scripted welcome includes a bit about how the judging was tough last night. Gaga pipes up to say, “it’s tough every week!” They’re like, “Yes, and that’s because you suck. Aaaaaanyway….”

So, this week’s challenge is to design an asymmetrical evening-wear look. Lou Rawlsette is nodding, like, “I got this, yo.” I wonder if she’s going to dip her first winning garment in dye and try to present it as a new design? I wonder then if VolcanoRoberto will raise his hand to call her out for double mimicry? And actually, now that I think about it for a second, Lou Rawls has a bigger challenge than the other designers, because she HAS already designed an asymmetrical eveningwear look. So, how’s she going to make this any different? I mean, it’s cool that it’s all going to fit in with her line, but she still can’t keep copying the same old thing. Now I’m intrigued. Also, I’m annoyed that Click and Clack had to explain to us what asymmetry means, and that they explained it in terms of fashion “The fashion definition is the left does not equal the right. Or one side is not the same as the other.” My IQ just dropped about 20 points.

Time for the weekly announcement about the models and their measurements, and that they won’t get to fit the models until two hours to launch, etc. I think we’ve all been watching long enough by now to realize that the designers never get the same model every week. I’m annoyed that the show somehow never addressed the model situation. I’m also annoyed that every week there’s a disaster in the waiting when a designer makes their garment too small because they actually believed the model’s measurements. Hopefully, they’re all wising up to this by now.

Before the designers can get started, they’re heading off on their weekly inspiration trip. They’re told to bring an open mind, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Lady Gaga immediately thinks they’re going to the dump for inspiration. Oh, of course she does. By the way, she looks secretly thrilled at the prospect.

The group heads off to…an art gallery. Gaga reminds us that she works in events planning for a major art museum, so she’s excited that this week’s challenge involves art. She tells us she’s vibing with it. Oh, good. Well, I think that all your screen time and the fact that you’re in your natural setting this week means that you’re going to lose. Sorry.

Duh2 throw us a twist, and it’s a doozy! Brace yourself! The designers think they’re going to use the art in the gallery as inspiration, but no. A group of regular ol’ people walks out and stands before the group of designers. Duh2 tell us that the inspiration will come from these fine feathered folks. Feather Earrings is like, “Oh, okay, cool. That guy is wearing a cool outfit. Okay.” Well, hang onto your hats and headbands, nerds, because we’re not done twisting yet! Duh2 lilt, in sync, “Models?…” And the models start taking off all of their clothes. Oh! THIS is the twist! A black guy looks up and makes eye contact with someone (who?) as he drops his drawers. A fairly large blurry spot hangs between his legs. Lou Rawls gasps. HA!

So, now it’s a group of nekkid people standing in front of the designers. Some of them are fat, some are old, and some have lovely tushies, but they’re all buck naked. Latifah tells us it’s “The Full Monty Monty Monty”. (I think she meant “Full Full Full Monty”, but I’m the wordsmith here, not her.) Peggy Bundy, of course, was a nude model back in college, so she’s all blase about it. DJ Mister Rogers is a prude about the whole deal on his end, but he makes a joke about Flamebrow being excited. Hang on, there. Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean the sight of a dong is going to make him explode with the hornies. Just like DJ Mr. R isn’t immediately horned out by the naked women in front of him. So, I hate him a little more than I already did for his fugly Mariah-wear he made two challenges ago.

The designers are instructed to find inspiration in anything they can from the naked peeps in front of them. DuhSq make a dick joke when they talk about finding inspiration in “elongated lines”. Nice.

And now the designers have to choose a model to work with for the day, en masse. I feel really bad for the old mustached chubby guy who looks like a cop–who’s going to pick HIM first? DJ Mr. R is upset because there are more male models than there are female designers, so he may end up sketching a wang, and he’s not thrilled about that. Flamebrow wants the tattooed guy who looks like Jim Morrison. (His words, not mine.) Gaga’s excited about the tattoed hairy man, too. Uh oh!

Ready, set, go! The designers dash over to the line of nude models. I’m trying really hard to see who gets pounced on, by whom, and who’s left standing with no one interested. Looks like big-donged black guy got no love at first, and Flamebrow made first contact with Tattoo. Duh2 have to play referee between Gaga and Flamebrow, and Flamebrow wins! The race is funny in slow-mo–FlameBrow and Gaga totally mow the guy down. I wonder if he was scared to have those two sprinting towards him.

Anyway, I’m actually a little warmed in the cockles of my heart to see that Feather Earrings went right to the fluffy old fat guy. Phew. Peggy Bundy goes right for a shorter, buxom woman, and another, taller, buxom woman has a crowd forming around her. A woman who looks a little like Ashley from Top Chef got no love at first, either. It makes me sad.

Once everyone’s been sorted out, they head to different “stations” throughout the art gallery to start sketching. I love watching these dudes walk around naked with nothing but a fuzzy censor circle over their junk. The camera crew has fun showing us what’s going on without showing us much of the goods. Duh2 remind the designers to keep their target consumer in mind as they design.

Baguettes y ravioli! Let’s get to work!

Feather Earrings and her chubby old guy get to work, with Chubby Old Guy lounging on a chaise very similarly to our old buddy George Costanza. (No, not our Art Vandelay clone, the architect with the black wool bathing suit.) Or maybe he’s trying to be Rose on the Titanic?

Lou Rawlsette’s guy, the black guy with the long dong, settles into a circular chair while Last Choice Top Chef Ashley stands awkwardly to be sketched by Gaga.

Peggy Bundy is inspired by her model’s shoulder and her skin, so her design will showcase the shoulder. Sounds lovely. What’s less lovely is her kindergarden quality sketching of the actual model herself. (Oh, I wish I could screengrab the sketch, but Bravo stopped supplying full episodes online! Drat!)

We watch Flamebrow sketch his Tattooed Man, with us getting a good shot of the guy’s bare bum. He has hips like a woman, I notice. In fact, if I lose this holiday weight, I could give him a run for his money in the slender hourglass department. (Psst, Tattooed Man, that was an insult.) (Mmm, these Doritos are fabulous.) Tattooed Guy looks bored to tears. I wonder how I’d treat my nude model? I’d probably make a shit-ton of self-deprecating jokes to diffuse the situation. As much as that lacks a bit of poise, I think it’d be more fun than standing there silently. Yes, I’d be a better companion to a nude model. I win!

Anyway, Flamebrow is inspired most by the tattoos–the black ink with a splotch of color on the arm. I’m not inspired by the tattoos. They’re boring flowers, and cats with top hats and boxing gloves, and a big head. Who cares? Flamebrow mentions the elephant in the room (pardon the pun) by saying he’s “not going there” with regards to Tattooed Man’s junk. Feather Earrings makes a nonsensical comment about….jump-roping? Meaning…the guy had a long one? Or…Flamebrow was so excited to see a dick that he was jumping rope? Help me out here, dear readers!

DJ Mister Rogers is sketching his woman, who’s reclined on her stomach on a couch. DJ is impressed by her cut shoulder muscles. Feather Earrings interviews about her chubby old guy, and she makes jokes about how he’s got his legs spread and she’s doing her best to avoid the display. The camera cuts to her sketch, which looks like a doodle I do in meetings. It’s the guy’s eyes and mustache and nothing else. I hope she makes a dress that looks like a mustache somehow. Yes, I know that makes no sense, but it’s what I want! Anyway, she’s going to draw her inspiration from the guy’s light eyes and sunspots. *Snort*

Lou Rawlsette’s guy is lounging modestly so she can’t see his junk. She’s glad. She talks about the texture of his body–from the tattoos to the dreadlocks. I actually have hope for her design, since the basic premise is so within her line to begin with–she just needs to nail the details.

We move onto Gaga for just a moment. She’s impressed with her model’s narrow waist and larger hips. She thinks the model is luscious! Latifah’s next, and her shorter guy is bulked out with muscles that are just barely verging into saggy manboob territory. She thinks he’s lovely and refers to him as her Greek god. She talks about draping a toga over him, and BAM, her design is done. I can’t wait to see how hard Coco sneers.

The designers return to the studio and report back to their experts what they saw. It’s a montage of “We saw naked people!” The experts laugh. It’s really not that exciting. So, now it’s time to get to work–there’s only 24 hours left. Note that just about every designer is doing a one-shouldered design. I’m already bored.

DJ Mr. Rogers’ expert is already taking over, choosing the fabric for their design to harken back to the previous designs. I can’t tell if DJ looks annoyed, bored, or both. He really should sit back and let his expert do it all, since that’s been a winning strategy so far. However, he’s not doing his own shit at all, and that’s annoying. Why did he want to be a fashion designer, again? They ultimately decide to design a one-shouldered dress that uses fabric from two previous designs, in a halfsies design. Maybe that’s too much? He says it’s something you can wear to a Justin Timberlake concert. As a woman who’s been to a JT concert, I can tell you that NO ONE wears that shit to a JT concert. No one. (I wore jeans, a t-shirt, sneakers, and earplugs. Have you ever listened to 20,000 pre-teen girls screaming their heads off? You’d be wearing the earplugs too.)

Peggy Bundy’s station is right next door, and as her Malvin is busy designing their piece, she’s watching what’s going on with DJ. She sneers, “Okay, I’m not a Vegas circus act; I’d never wear that.” Hey, maybe she doesn’t like this DJ guy. What do you think? She and Malvin are designing a dress with asymmetrical ruching that one can adjust at will, converting from a gown to a cocktail dress; and she’s using the same baby poop color palette she’s been using. I can’t put my finger on why her color choices bug me so much–I think it’s because they’re warm-toned poop colors and not cool poop tones. Something with a blue-based tone would sure make the poop color a lot better.

Lou Rawlsette impresses me by designing something new for her line–a skirt and shirt combo. The skirt’s going to be a dark brown suede, inspired by her model’s skin. The shirt will be made of jersey, and it’ll have loose, billowy sleeves. Sounds nice!

Remember Flamebrow and VolcanoRoberto? Roberto pronounces ‘asymmetrical’ as though it starts with “ass”, which makes me laugh. Roberto also gets carried away with sets of juxtapositions and opposites, like black/white, yin/yang, male/female, etc. I want to shake him and say, “That’s not what asymmetry is about, numbnuts!” Flamebrow’s mostly upset that they’re wasting time on the brainstorming when they should be sewing. Their design is a halter dress, with a swoopy, slinky asymmetrical hemline. I like it. Flamey’s also talking about the tattoos and the flowers, so I guess he’ll be putting some detail on the dress. I hope he ultimately decides not to, though.

Latifah’s discussing her Greek Goddess gown with Coco. Coco’s hair is a mess, all Pebbles style, sans bone. Latifah wants drape; Coco wants contention. She picks a fight about the direction of the drape. Latifah’s over it and says, “Whatever you want.” I like that she’s learned to pick her battles. She tells us that her line is about comfort and working women, and working women today are modern Greek Goddesses. I think I get it? (Do I?) (And when she says, “Modern day Greek goddess” for the first time, I think she says, “Martin Day Greek goddess,” and I wonder who Martin Day is and why I’m not familiar with his designs.) As we leave their station, we’re treated to a hastily made “Do Not Disturb” sign with a passive-aggressive sub-sign that reads, “Thank you for respecting our wishes.” What in the hell?

Gaga’s turn. Her notes from her sketch include “long toes,” “breast” (just one?), and “big hips”. Nice. She’s trying to avoid being too literal this time around, so she WON’T design a gigantic-hipped chinchilla silhouette this time around. She wants to use a crazy orange/yellow print this time, though, and Wedge Head is doing her best to help guide her away from that mess.

Well, the Trim Room is open, and all the designers and experts seem baffled. This IS a bit early to start talking trim, isn’t it? Malvin tells Peggy to get something expensive looking, classy. Both Gaga and Feather Earrings seem to be drawn to fabrics that look like carpet. The experts crowd the doorway, instructing the designers on what to pick. Gaga comes out at the last second with some black fur trim, and before she can go back to get the brown fur she saw, the Trim Room closes. She spazzes out, and Flamebrow grabs her arms to restrain her. I think he was worried that she’d throw a wild punch and smudge his carefully drawn brows.

Flamebrow and Volcano are playing with the floral sequined chiffon that Flamey found in the trim room. They’re planning out the drape and how to express the asymmetry of the design, and Volcano starts spouting out opposites again. Asymmetry does not equal opposition!

Feather Earrings and Faux Austin are mapping out her design, which seems to be a one-shouldered jumpsuit or pantsuit made in a rich royal blue with a flesh-colored sash. Inspired by the Chubby Old guy, indeed!

In the “We’re back! No we’re not!” segment this week, DJ’s expert competes with VolcanoRoberto for attention. She says, “Today’s motto is ‘shut up and sew’!” Peggy B. is like, “Bitch, please. She’s never shut up a day in her life.” DJ asks his expert why the scissors are called ‘pinking things’, and she asks Roberto. He makes up a really lame answer about pink power, gay power. Oy. Peggy ends the segment by commenting that she hopes DJ’s expert (I need a name for her!) is married to a deaf man. Malvin cracks up.

Hey, Duh2 are back, and they announce that the winner of today’s challenge will receive immunity in next week’s challenge. I wonder why immunity is being introduced all of a sudden? Why wouldn’t it be a part of the game play all along? I suck at reality show strategy, so if anyone has an idea, please feel free to clue me in.

Time for the Duh2 Tour of Judgment. We start off with DJ Mister Rogers. Duh2 aren’t really on board with the idea of the two different fabrics being used at once, and they call DJ over to their side of the table so he can gain a little perspective. DJ still seems lost, but at least he’s polite to the Duh Boys.

Peggy’s next on the tour. I feel like Duh2 give her much more thoughtful questions about her designs than they do the others–it’s like they take her seriously and respect her point of view, when they realize that some others (Gaga, Music Douche) are here just for filler, for contrast, for no good reason and deserve barely concealed contempt and to be treated like 2nd graders. Anyway, her dress is designed for someone to wear to the Oscars AND the after-party, which explains the need to convert a ballgown to a cocktail dress.

Gaga’s turn. She and Wedge Head are playing with their design on the dress form when Duh2 approach, and they barely turn around to say “hi”. Gaga keeps going on about this model’s hips, which weren’t that bad! Anyway, her garment is meant to include the billowy effects from the previous designs, which somehow involves draping black fabric over a slender gold silhouette. Then there’s more black puffiness on the one arm. The Duh Boys are like, “This is an important week for you–you keep being in the bottom.” As in, “Get it together!”. They ask her to come to their side of the table to view it from their perspective. Gaga thinks about removing the black draping along the dress.

The Duh Duo stop by Lou Rawlsette’s station next–they’re not terribly sure about how her design is meant for evening wear. I agree, and Rawlsette has trouble bullshitting an answer. They quickly move on. I’m sure she’s safe this week. Later, she’s questioning the guidelines of the challenge and concludes, “Whatever, if I go home, I go home.” Her Chunky Perez Hilton expert is like, “You’re not going home. It needs to be ugly to go home.” And he’s right. I’m getting the feeling that the inspirations and challenges are the barest of guidelines and as long as your garment is beautiful, it doesn’t matter if you met the challenge or not. They just need rules to fall back on when they’re bickering over who to send home.

Ricotta, all over! Get to work!

Gaga’s redesigning her piece, and it’s just a plain gold shimmery fabric so far. Wedge Head is adding large-volume pockets to the side, to which Gaga wants to add fur trim. Wedge Head stops in her tracks. “Fur trim??!” They both laugh.

Rawlsette is still doubting her piece, thinking they should change the shirt from a jersey to a silk charmeuse. Perez is like, “we don’t have time.” Rawlsette really thinks she’s going home, so you know she’s not. Hey, she might even win! Flamebrow doesn’t think so–he tells us that her design looks like something you wear to lunch.

Peggy Bundy and Malvin are showing their first signs of stress working together, as Peggy hems and haws about the design of the skirt (pardon the pun! “Hem!”). Malvin just wants to sew quickly to eliminate her option to change her mind. Uh oh! I still hate the colors she’s working with. The next AM, Malvin asks her if she slept, and she nods. I wonder if he was asking passive-aggressively so she’d also ask HIM and he could reveal the pressure he’s feeling. But nope! No reciprocation here! She stands over him as he sketches out more ideas for the skirt.

More random skits and skats from the designers as they work. Rawlsette’s making a leather belt from scratch; DJ Mr. R wants a floral brooch on the dress. Ugh.

Duh2 arrive in high style–Walmart sweatshirts with lame scarves. If I were on this show and saw them walking in wearing that, I’d quit the show. Clearly, my fashion sense is OFF if I’m not finding the fashion in a $5 Hanes sweatshirt.

Anyway, it’s model fitting time. Nothing new here, except some last minute design choices from our designers. DJ is worrying that his design looks way too much like his first dress. (It does.) I realize we haven’t seen one stitch of Flamebrow’s design. I hope that means it’s good enough that he’s safe for the week. I’m still sad that we haven’t seen more of him this week. Rawlsette is back to freaking out about her outfit not being “evening” enough; Latifah is control-freaking the hair and makeup.

Fashion show time!

First up is DJ Mr. Rogers. Nothing new to see here. As in, we already saw it a zillion times in the past half-hour, AND it’s the same design and fabric he’s been sending down the runway every week so far. His model stops mid-runway and sticks her one arm out like she just punched a ghost. It’s strange.

Peggy Bundy’s is next, and I like it! It’s a slim-fitting gown with ruffly detail at the shoulder and around the hemline. There’s actually a ruffley train with a cutout in the front to showcase another neutral color underneath. The overall color is less poopy than I was expecting. Then her model reaches down to unsnap the bottom portion of the dress, leaving a sheath cocktail dress. It’s very classy.

Next up is Latifah, whose model is wearing a gorgeous purple drapey dress that’s sumptuous and simple at the same time. I like! (And can’t find anything online to show you!)

Flamebrow’s is next, and while it’s piecey and sloppy, I get that his other pieces had that same unfinished look to them. (Even the ones he truly finished–not just the python jumpsuit mess!) It’s a black halter dress with a lot of pieces and openings, and the floral sequined chiffon is used tastefully across one boob. I like! The only thing I keep noticing about his designs is that they’re a lot slinkier on paper, but when it comes time to send stuff down the runway, it’s all sloppy, unfinished drape. Methinks Roberto really stinks at anything other than drape.

Lou Rawlsette’s suede skirt and white jersey one-shouldered top are next. It’s nice, but I can see how it’s not necessarily eveningwear. The judges all gossip amongst themselves as her model makes her way down the runway. Bravo clearly didn’t like her outfit one bit–not one clip on the site shows this design! Sorry.

Feather Earrings’ dress is next, and while I loved the sketch, I’m not liking the final product as much. Somehow, the dress is hitched up into the contrasting-colored belt, which just looks like a mistake.

Gaga is last. Her gold sheath dress uses the same fabric from the first design, the heart-shaped jumpsuit. I like the design this week, but I have the feeling that it’s too little, too late. If she hadn’t been coming in with a deficit, she’d probably be okay. I wonder what the judges think. Gaga sing-songs over the runway walk, “oh, I’ve just given birth!…to another beautiful gaaaaarmeeeeeent!” Uh oh.

Judges’s critiques:

Latifah and Flamebrow are safe. Very good! I didn’t think either one would win, and I’m glad that they won’t be ripped to shreds to fight for one more week, either.

DJ Mister Rogers is up for discussion first. It seems they’re about to shred him, but then they decide they like it. It’s disconcerting at first to see how similar the fabrics are AND how similar the design itself is to previous dresses, but they like the look, and they like his style. I wonder if he’s sleeping with all of them, because I just don’t get it! WHO would buy this stuff?!

They call up Gaga next for a beating, and she gets it. You can tell they really just don’t like her. Like, from the second they open their mouths to her. She gets called out for accentuating the hips of her dress. Well, DUH, Gaga! They DO compliment the gold fabric choice this time around–it works for them more now in this dress than it did in the heart jumpsuit.

Rawlsette and her lunchwear is next. They love the thoughtfulness of her design, but they all agree that it’s not meant for eveningwear. They bring up the first dress, which was way more in line with this challenge than her lunchwear. See? She bumped into herself for this one–it was right up her alley, and yet she’d already been there. Bigger challenge, I think! Also, the more I see of this design, the more I like it. I want it for my closet!

The judges call up Peggy Bundy next. They love the drama of her design. They hope that Anne Hathaway or Amy Adams is watching and order this dress ASAP. Wow, that’s a glowing endorsement!

Feather Earrings is next–I’m guessing they’re going to rip her apart. But, I’m wrong. They love it. They love the slit, the romance, the drape of the fabric in the back. Again, I apparently need some fashion help. (It’s now 4 PM and I’m still in the snowflake jammies.)

And the winner is….Peggy B! Hooray! Malvin is pretty excited, too. Remember, those two have immunity for next week.

And now for a closer look at Gaga, DJ, and Rawlsette.

Gaga first: “Good from afar; far from good.” They rip into Gaga for trying too hard, for being too contrived in her nonconformance. And I agree!!! A little nonconformity goes a long way, sister! The two merchandisers bitch about the dress–they wouldn’t sell it in their store if someone gave it to them for free. But they compliment Wedge Head for her seamstress skills. Ouch.

DJ is starting to become a one-trick pony. Or as they say, “he keeps playing the same record over and over.” Then they bust out more DJ-related wordplay, about how he needs to create an album, not just a single. Gritting my teeth!

The judges aren’t very forgiving of Rawlsette’s design being more daywear oriented. They compare tonight’s design with her previous designs (as they did with the two other designers) and it’s not THAT much of a mismatch. They say she lacks vision but not talent. In the end, their judging will come down to who has the biggest chance of being a success with their line. I don’t think Rawls is going home.

By the way, Duh2 keep mispronouncing things: they say “asymmetry” like it’s “ASSim-METry”. They make up words, like “coherency”. (Oh, hello, red squiggles of misspelling!) In short, they are weird.

So, who is going home? Oh, it’s Gaga. Surprised? Me neither. I wouldn’t have minded seeing DJ go home tonight, but…I’m also tired of the contrivance of Gaga. Also note that her zipper on her pants is enormous and she’s not wearing a wig, unless her wig has roots. G’bye, Gaga! Now we won’t get confused when the ACTUAL Lady Gaga visits the designers!! “There you go, lookin’ pitiful, just because I let you go.” M!ssundaztood, surely.

So, 48 hours for the next challenge. What’s in store for us next week? Well, contention between Latifah and Coco. (I gasped audibly at something shitty Coco says.) Oh, look at that, next week is Actual Gaga week! HA! (I make a point to recap AS I watch, not after, so this is news to me. I’m so prescient, it kills me!) Join me next time!

(P.S. Proof that I was locked and loaded to recap as soon as my holiday obligations slowed down! I told Flipit that I had a Post-it note written in red Sharpie. I lied. It was a different piece of paper. XOXO!)