So this is the big episode of Lost everyoneÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s been waiting for. After a two week tease we finally see the aftermath of Ana Lucia killing Shannon. Will Sayid revert back to the stereotypical Iraqi we saw last season when he tortured Sawyer (but in his defense, it was Sawyer, and who didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to shove bamboo up his fingernails?) and go after Ana Lucia? Well, we were not disappointed. It was a cracking good episode. And we even get our first Ana Lucia flashbacks and she turns out to be even more unpleasant than we first thought. LetÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s put it this way. There is a reason the group of survivors led by Ana Lucia has been reduced to only four people. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m starting to think there arenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t any Others and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s all just an elaborate ruse for everyone to get as far away from that bitch as humanly possible. Before we get to the recap, first indulge me a little look at the internet scuttlebutt. In a prime example of taking everything posted on the internet with a grain of salt I present to you this website (pointed out to me by my fellow Lost fanatic Nan) which tries to question whether or not Shannon was shot and who it was exactly who shot her. And this website even gets a list of suspects. Basically this just proves that sometimes people can get a little carried away with their conspiracy theories. So keep that in mind when I point you to this picture (and this one as well) sent in by TVgasm reader Tamara Carver regarding the identity of The Others who took Walt last season. And finally, there is an interesting article on Papermag.com titled Lost for Dummies that gives a good primer for those new to the world of Lost.
But enough of the geek chatter. LetÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s get on with the recap. WeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve got a lot of Ana Lucia hate to unload.
We open with a flashback. And itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Ana Lucia doing what she loves most in this world. SheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s at a shooting range firing a gun and grimacing. When I need to unwind I usually have a nice glass of wine and watch reality TV. She likes to shoot stuff. To each his own, I guess.
We then cut to Ana Lucia at her psychiatristÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s office, and I immediately am overwhelmed with sympathy for the poor bastard in charge of analyzing her. He tells Ana Lucia that he feels she has come a long way in the last four months. From this I can only assume that four months ago Ana Lucia spent her days feasting on the flesh of children aged 4-6. He then asks about Danny. She says they are no longer together (quite the shocker that one, eh?). She feels that she is better off alone. And that I believe America, from red state to blue state, can all collectively agree on that. And with that the psychiatrist hands her something. When she opens it we see a badge. He then says something that sends a chill down the spine of every law abiding citizen in this country. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Welcome back to the force Officer Cortez.Ã¢â‚¬? Fantastic. Who wouldÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve thought weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d actually get to see the worst psychiatrist and the worst cop in the world in the same room at the same time? If Carrot Top enters the room weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d get a hat trick.
Back in the present we go back to where we left off last week, and the week before that actually, with Sayid’s look of hatred towards Ana Lucia as he cradles ShannonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s dead body. Get the popcorn out. Sayid grabs his gun and heads for Ana Lucia but Eko tackles him to the ground. After a short fight in the mud, Ana Lucia sucker punches him in the back of the head and knocks Sayid out cold. She then turns the gun on everyone else and the look in her eyes tells you that she has just officially lost her marbles.
When Michael asks her what her problem is she shoots over his shoulder and orders everyone to get back. Even the rest of the tailies are scared of her at this point. When she tells Eko to tie him up he refuses and walks off. Ana Lucia then points the gun at Libby and orders her to tie him up using the vines from the Sawyer stretcher. Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know what IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m doing,Ã¢â‚¬? she says, which is probably second on the list of famous last words after CusterÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Ã¢â‚¬Å“WhereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d all these Indians come from?Ã¢â‚¬?
Back in the flashback we see Ana Lucia in her uniform on her first day back on the force. She walks into her captainÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s office. When the captain gives her her assignment Ana Lucia is pissed because itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a desk job. She canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t shoot things from behind a desk, goddamit. Ana Lucia, in her own charming way, demands to be put on the street. The captain refuses because she was in an Ã¢â‚¬Å“officer related shooting.Ã¢â‚¬? Ana Lucia then asks her if sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s just doing this because sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s her mother. So the captain is her mother. Interesting. She says she canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t put her back on the street because that would let everyone know she pulled strings for her daughter. And then five seconds later she signs the paperwork that lets her back on the street. This Cortez family is all about integrity isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t it?
Back on the beach we see Jack filling his canteen with water when a golf ball comes flying into the water trough. Oh. My. God. The Others are back and they golf. Oh wait; it was just Kate hitting balls on the beach with Hurley and Charlie. When Jack shows up and starts to give Kate tips they end up betting each other who can do better at golf. The air is positively thick with sexual tension. I love it when they get all Hepburn/Tracy with each other.
Back on the unhappy part of the island Sayid is finally coming to and heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s tied to a tree. He starts screaming at Ana Lucia to untie him but before she can answer Eko grabs Sawyer, slings him over his shoulder and starts to leave. When Ana Lucia pleads with him to stay, he ignores her and walks off. The fact that Ana Lucia doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t shoot him doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t register with the rest of them as they all still stay there cowering.
Back in flashback land we see Ana Lucia hitting the streets again in her patrol car. SheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s pissed that her mom/captain assigned her to an easy neighborhood like Westwood. How dare she not give her even more special treatment? And she calls herself a Cortez? But all that is moot as soon she takes a call outside their patrol area on a domestic disturbance, the lifeblood of every COPS episode. When they get to the scene and see a couple arguing Ana Lucia immediately takes out her gun and orders everyone on the ground. Her partner starts yelling at her and ordering her to holster her weapon. WasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t this supposed to be the episode that made Ana Lucia more sympathetic? Yeah well theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re doing a piss poor job of it so far.
Cut to present day and we see Ana Lucia sitting on a stump rocking back and forth. She has officially lost it and I for one am lapping it up like gravy with a biscuit. Libby tells her she should let Sayid go but she refuses. Michael goes to give him water and catches him up on who they are, what happened to Walt etc. Then Michael tells him that heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s now gone a day without screaming WaltÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s name at the top of his lungs for no reason, and heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s starting to get a little antsy.
Back on the golfing range the cutesy flirting continues unabated. Kate hits a great shot and when it’s Jack’s turn he hooks it. When he goes off to search for his ball in the woods he comes upon Eko carrying Sawyer.
In the hatch we see Locke doing a crossword puzzle while doing Ã¢â‚¬Å“button duty.Ã¢â‚¬? The clue for 42 down is Ã¢â‚¬Å“Enkidu’s friendÃ¢â‚¬? and the answer is Ã¢â‚¬Å“Gilgamesh.” Gilgamesh is of course an ancient Sumerian king and also one of the bosses from Final Fantasy V, easily defeated as long as you use your healing spells judiciously. What is even more interesting is Enkidu was described as a Ã¢â‚¬Å“mythical wild-man raised by animals.Ã¢â‚¬? Interesting, no?
As he’s filling in the answer Locke is interrupted as Jack, Eko and Sawyer enter the hatch. Jack throws Sawyer in the shower to cool off his fever and he has Kate go get him fresh sheets. Because sick people like the feel of fresh sheets. Outside in the hallway Locke stumbles across Eko and they both exchange quizzical helloÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s.
Meanwhile in the jungle Bernard is trying to reason with Ana Lucia. When he tries to plead with her to leave she asks him Ã¢â‚¬Å“How long have I kept you alive out here Bernard? Yeah thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s right. So cut me some slack.Ã¢â‚¬? Nice, now Ana Lucia is taking credit for keeping everyone alive. Conveniently ignoring the fact that most of the people from the tail were taken away by The Others. She doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t exactly have a great batting average here.
Is it me or does she look much taller dead?
When Libby asks her what her plan is, Sayid says Ã¢â‚¬Å“She has no plan. She only has her guilt. And the gun.Ã¢â‚¬? Good point.
With that Ana Lucia tells Michael to go to the camp and she demands he bring back a box of ammo, some blankets and a change of clothes, a cowboy hat and a Scooby Doo Chia Pet. Michael, seeing as how he has a gun pointed at him, reluctantly agrees.
In the flashback we see Ana Lucia and her partner getting back to the station arguing over Ana LuciaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s propensity to shoot first and ask questions never. Before they can get into it they are interrupted by a detective saying they got her “guy.”
When they bring her into the lineup room to ID the guy, Ana LuciaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s mother explains how they have all sorts of evidence against him and all they need is for her ID. Apparently this is the guy that shot Ana Lucia four times in the chest. Dumb jerk shouldÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve gone for a head shot. Ana Lucia says it isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t the guy, even though he confessed. When Ana Lucia still says it isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t him they let him go. IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m confused. If they have his prints and a confession, how is it they let him go again? Because Ana Lucia said it wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t him? That takes precedence over an actual confession and fingerprint evidence? I want to move to this town. Especially now since we now itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a lot safer knowing Ana Lucia is safely stranded on a desert island.
In the hatch, Locke is asking Eko questions about what happened. Eko says there was an accident and someone was shot and killed. Locke asks why the others havenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t come with them. He simply says Ã¢â‚¬Å“they cannot come back right now.Ã¢â‚¬?
Meanwhile Jack is tending to Sawyer who’s gone septic and they need to force feed him antibiotics. When Jack’s first attempt fails Kate whispers in his ear and is able to have him take the medicine. Whatever, she still forfeited the golf game.
Back in the jungle Bernard has discovered his long lost testicles and tells Ana Lucia heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s leaving. With that everyone else follows suit and it leaves only Ana Lucia and Sayid alone together in the woods. This reminds me of that episode of Dukes of Hazard when Uncle Jessie and Boss Hog got locked in a safe together and finally came to be friends. But then once they were freed Boss Hog still tried to foreclose on the Duke’s mortgage. He was such a little shit.
In the jungle we see Michael running and he stumbles across Sun working in her garden. The look on her face is either surprise or disgust since Michael is now going on about a week with the same clothes on and no bath and he must be ripe with a capital R. He tells her he has no time to explain and he needs to see Jack right away.
In the hatch Jack is interrogating Eko but heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not talking. Soon Michael is there and he explains everything to them. Jack then starts loading up some shotguns and prepares to go out there and get Sayid back. Locke is cautioning them to think things over first. Eko then stands up and asks them what they want. Is it revenge? Jack says he just wants to get his people back. When he mentions Ana LuciaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s name Jack is taken aback because he met her briefly before the plane took off, and they had a drink together. Eko then agrees to take them to her as long as they leave the guns behind.
Over in the jungle Ana Lucia is interrogating Sayid. When he asks her if she is going to kill him, she responds by saying Ã¢â‚¬Å“should I?Ã¢â‚¬? SayidÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s only response is that 40 days ago he tortured a man, just like he has tortured hundreds of other men in the past. Not to be outdone in the story time hour, Ana Lucia then tells her story of how she accidentally let her guard down while on a burglary call and was shot. Ever since then she feels dead. Then Sayid shoots back with “Oh yeah, well my dad could totally beat up your dad,” to which Ana Lucia says “na-uh” and then Sayid responds with “yeah-huh infinity,” and then Ana Lucia says “na-uh infinity plus one,” and so on and so forth. When Sayid then asks what happened to the man who shot her we go back to the flashback and find out for ourselves.
Ana Lucia is in a bar watching the man play pool. When he goes out to his car she follows him out there and tells him Ã¢â‚¬Å“I was pregnantÃ¢â‚¬? before shooting him point blank in the chest. Damn. And then when heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s on the ground she finishes the job by putting three more in his head. Double damn. I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t believe he deprived that woman of reproducing. We need more Ana Lucias in this world.
Back in the jungle Ana Lucia lies and simply says Ã¢â‚¬Å“they never found himÃ¢â‚¬? which makes me think perhaps she cut up the body and ate it, because at this point sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s capable of anything.
Ana Lucia then cuts Sayid free and tells him he can do what he wants. Sayid says itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s no good killing her, since they are both already dead. He then goes over to ShannonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s body and cradles her in his arms.
Back in the hatch Kate is telling Sawyer that everything will be OK. We then see Michael walk up the beach as Vincent runs over to greet him. And we also see BernardÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s tearful reunion with his wife. Even Jin and Sun happily reunite. And thereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not a dry eye in the Hill household. Then we end the episode as Jack and Eko meet Sayid in the jungle holding ShannonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s lifeless body. As he walks past them, Jack and Ana Lucia look at each other and we fade to black.
So what did everyone else think? Will Sawyer get better? What will Sayid do? Is anyone else curious about what Ana LuciaÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Match.com profile says? And does anyone else notice those weird Arbor Day commercials that show up every week?