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Where do I begin? After another long Lost hiatus filled with repeats and filler “recap” episodes, we finally get to a new episode this week. I was hoping that since it’s now May sweeps we would get an action-packed episode where a lot happens, instead of another slow-moving Hurley relationship episode. Well, at first my fears were realized. Not only was it a slow-moving episode but also an Ana Lucia-based one as well—and as I’m sure some of you are aware, the only thing I like about Ana Lucia is her fantastic orthodontic work.
But there were two things about this episode that really made it rise above. The first is that this was the first day of the official Lost webgame, with a fake Hanso Foundation commercial during the episode giving out our first clues to start us Ã¼ber-nerds on our summer-long hunt. And the second was the most shocking final five minutes of any Lost episode I’ve ever seen. But before we get to the recap let’s go see what’s brewing on the net. And this week is by far the best. Sure we have some little things like Michelle Rodriguez opting for five days in jail instead of community service. I guess she’s one of those character actors who never breaks her character. But we all know the real story is the Lost webgame.
For those of you who are new, let me give you a little context. Part of Lost’s appeal, and marketing strategy, was to have the show’s mystery bleed over onto the internet. In the past year we’ve seen the official online Lost forums, weekly podcasts with the creators of the show, and most fun of all, a bunch of fake websites for both Oceanic Airlines and the Hanso Foundation, that with some trial and error would reveal little hints about the show. I have dutifully tried to pass on any interesting things and websites that I hear at the start of my Lost recaps just to let my fellow Lost geeks aware of what’s going on.
This week our nerd prayers have been answered. We threw the dice and it came up lucky sevens! Or for a better analogy for us Lost geeks, we rolled our 20-sided die and got a +6 saving throw with 22 hit points! This week marks the unveiling of the official Lost webgame—an online mystery that will span not only the internet but the show as well. It will go on all summer long and act as a bridge between seasons two and three and offer some clues and revelations about the Lost storyline.
I will try to keep everyone updated weekly as to the progress of the online game, But I will also do my best not to spoil anything for those who are joining in the fun. And I also ask that those commenters out there who want to talk about it keep that in mind. Hints are great and dialogue welcome, but let’s try to keep this whole thing as spoiler-free as we can. And for those of you who are gonna bitch about me giving away the big reveal at the header of the recap; it’s Sunday people. If you haven’t seen the episode by now, then I can’t help you.
So, how was the game officially kicked off this week? In probably the coolest marketing ploy I’ve seen in a while, during this week’s episode there was a fake commercial for the Hanso foundation. It was brief commercial about the Hanso Foundation and its accomplishments. It ended by telling you if you want more information to call 1-877-HANSORG.
In conjunction with that is the Hanso foundation website, located here, which was relaunched with a whole new flash interface and will no doubt be full of all sorts of hidden clues. When you first get there you are greeted with a short flash introduction and then brought to the home page. The home page is chock full of stuff to look at, including the commercial itself. To “start the game” as it were, just try and sign up for the newsletter….
Well, enough of that for now, lets get to the recap.
The show opens up exactly where we left off last week with Michael coming out of the woods where Jack and Kate were waiting to do a trade for Henry. Michael looks a little worse for wear, with his hair unkempt and covered in dirt. Plus I’m assuming that his voice is gone since he does is wander the woods screaming “Waaalllt!” like a moron. Jack throws him over his shoulder and they start to carry him back to camp.
In the hatch Ana Lucia is cutting up some mangos. I can only assume they have offended her in some way—because if you offend her, she kills you. From here we cut tot the flashback, and this week it’s our favorite spicy Latina. She is coming into work at the LAPD when her mother, the captain, stops her and asks her what she was doing last night. She says she was just watching some TV. Ana Lucia never misses the Gilmore. Her mom takes her to the morgue to show her the dead body of Ana Lucia’s rapist, who was found dead in an alleyway near the gun that killed him. The gun of course had no prints and the serial number filed off. Maybe they should put the serial number all over the new guns so they can never get rid of all of em. I’m just sayin. Ana Lucia’s mom knows that she did it, and then tells her that she wants to help. Gotta love the LAPD. Ana Lucia refuses and then quits the force. L.A. is on its own now.
In the hatch Ana Lucia is playing nice with Henry, who is on a hunger strike. She brings him some mangos. Has anyone else noticed that ever since the Henry has been captured, and its been about a week in Lost time, no one has simply asked him who the others are, how did they get here, how do they have a boat, etc. I mean, you’d think that would be something you would want to know right? But no, no one seems that interested. Or at least they are but they just don’t ask the questions. I mean we do have a few more seasons of episodes to get through. We can’t blow our load all in one shot. But I’m ranting.
When Ana Lucia asks him why he is so quiet, he start whispering something. Anan Lucia comes in close to listen and Henry pounces on her. As he chokes her Henry says, “You killed two of us. Good people who were leaving you alone.” Huh? Excuse me? I only remember her killing Goodwin and he wasn’t “leaving them alone”. He was a mole who infiltrated their camp and when Ana confronted him, he attacked her. And how does Henry even know that? Before he can finish the job Locke knocks him out with his crutch.
Back in the flashback we see Ana Lucia at her new job working at airport security checking bags. Our nation’s response to 9/11 is to hire unstable murderers to screen for terrorists. I heard she was also considered to head FEMA, but they found her a little too overqualified. After a long eight=hour shift of scowling she goes off to the bar for a drink. And whom does she run into but Jack’s father, the former Dr. Christian Shephard, who is about to disappear on his Australian bender. After filling Ana Lucia in on his plight (the bullet points: He’s a drunk. Lost his license. Planning on drinking away his life in Sydney.) He asks her if she wants to join him. Shephard says he is doing something “dangerous” down in Sydney and needs protection. When Ana Lucia asks what his name is, he says they shouldn’t use names. This is probably more of a cheap writing trick so that Ana doesn’t figure out who he is. Ah well.
Back in the hatch, Locke confronts Henry about the attack. He wants to know why he tried to kill Ana Lucia but didn’t lay a hand on Locke when he had the chance. Henry says that its because Locke is “one of the good ones.” But it doesn’t matter anymore, Henry says: when Jack comes back without Walt he will have lost his value and they will kill him. Or his people will find out that he was captured and kill him. When Locke asks why his own people would try to kill him, Henry says “Because the man in charge. He’s a great man John. A brilliant man. But he is not a forgiving man. He’ll kill me because I failed John. I failed my mission.” Locke asks what mission. Henry says his mission was to come her to find Locke. Yeah right. Before Henry can continue to spill his VICOUS LIES!!!, ahem, he is interrupted by Jack, Kate, and Michael.
In the jungle Ana Lucia goes to Sawyer and asks him for a gun. Sawyer, after a few of his patented smarmy insults, refuses. He even tells her to “scram” and to “git”. Then he exclaims that he reckons there’s no way in tarnation he would give her a gun. Then he spits some chaw into his spittoon, adjusts his overalls, and jumps feet first into the General Lee to race to the town hall to make sure the mortgage payment gets their on time so Boss Hog doesn’t foreclose.
Meanwhile, back at the Boar’s Nest.. Oh wait, I mean, back in the flashback we see Ana Lucia in her hotel room in the middle of the night. We also get to see her in her underwear and find out that she has the body of a 14 year old boy. Gross. She is interrupted by Jack’s father who knocks on her door. It’s time, he says. He needs his “protection.” Ana Lucia then drives him to a small house where he gets out and starts banging on the door. He tells the woman who answers that he demands to see his daughter. The woman, a blonde, refuses. Gee, so Jack’s father has an Australian daughter with blonde hair. I wonder who she could beâ€¦
On the beach, Hurley is asking Sayid, the torturing Iraqi soldier, for romance advice. Sayid tells him to take Libby to a nice secluded beach a few kilometers from here. Sayid is all about the metric system.
In the hatch Jack is trying to wake up Michael. Locke mentions that the trade must have worked, since now they have Michael back. Jack doesn’t agree. He thinks that they wouldn’t give him back without getting Henry first. Then Locke says that it’s pronounced “to-mah-to” and Jack disagrees telling him that the correct pronunciation is clearly “to-ma-to”. Jack says it tastes great. Locke insists that it’s less filling.
In the jungle, Foghorn Leghorn, or Sawyer as he’s known to his friends, is walking along until he hears someone. It’s Ana Lucia following him to find his gun stash. When he again refuses she starts a fight with him. A fight that then quickly devolves into dirty jungle sex. And wouldn’t you know it, throughout the entire screw, they both keep their grimaces intact. After they’ve done the deed, Ana Lucia then tells him that if he says anything to anybody, she’ll kill him. And here I am thinking that I’m the only one who ends his dates that way. So if Ana Lucia is impregnated by Sawyer, would that be like the new Hitler?
In the flashback Ana is driving Jack’s father around the next day asking him about the woman from last night. He says it’s a long story. When Ana Lucia asks him why he’s here, he goes through a song and dance about how he can’t apologize to his son. He is wallowing in his own guilt. He came here for the same reason that Ana Lucia did. He was running away. When he spots a bar outside the car he asks Ana Lucia if she wants to come inside and get wasted with him, a smelly old drunk. Amazingly, Ana Lucia resists the urge, and he goes in alone. And we also get one of those obligatory random encounters with other Losties as Sawyer bumps up against the car door as it opens.
Back in the hatch, Ana Lucia comes in to check on how the trade went. When Jack asks her what happened to her head, Locke lies and says that she fell in the bathroom. Ana Lucia goes along with the ruse. When they hear Michael wake up they go to see how he is. “I found them.” He says. He hiked north and ran across one of the Others. When Locke asks him what the Other looked like, Michael says it looked dirty and had rags on. Then we immediately cut to a suspicious look on Kate’s face. She knows that the whole dirty rags thing is a ruse that they invented. Michael then talks about how he followed the Other back to its camp. They live in canvas tents, teepees, and sit there guarding over a hatch. He didn’t see any kids or Walt but thinks they are all in the hatch. Most of them are old, and half of them are women he says. And they have only two guns.
Later, as Michael and Locke are talking things over, Jack apologies to Locke about Henry, saying he was wrong and Locke was right. Now that they’re all huggy with each other they both agree that the best course of action is to go to the Others’ camp now and take them. But in order to do that they need some guns. They go to the beach and demand that Sawyer give them the guns. Sawyer of course refuses, in his oh-so-oily way, so Jack goes to plan B. He pulls a gun on Sawyer and demands that he hand them over. When Sawyer goes for his own gun he realizes it’s not there—Ana Lucia took it. And even though Sawyer keeps it tucked in the back of his pants, he had no idea it was gone until this very second. I think Lost just hired one of the writers from Desperate Housewives.
Now that they realize Ana Lucia has a gun, Locke says that he has to tell Jack something. From here we cut right to the hatch. Ana Lucia goes to the armory and gives Henry a knife and tells him to cut himself loose. When he asks why she just says “You know why.” As he’s cutting the ropes, Henry talks about how he kept telling the Others that Ana Lucia was misunderstood. And that “He felt that you would be worthy. That he could change you.” He starts talking about Goodwin, which makes me wonder—when did Henry and Goodwin get a chance to talk to each other about Ana Lucia? Goodwin was with them from the time the plane went down up until his death. So the only time they could have talked about her was before the plane crash, which means they knew who was going to be on board and had them put here on purpose. At least that’s my theory. I’m chock-full o theories.
After the commercial break we see Jack in the flashback pleading with the woman at the airport ticket counter about how he needs to get his father’s body on the plane. We see Ana Lucia behind him, and she calls her mother. She tearfully tells her that she made a mistake and she wants to come home. She tells her she is on Oceanic flight 815 and that she will be home soon. Hmmm. I get the sense that the entire Ana Lucia storyline is being wrapped up. I wonder what that could mean…
And now to the last five minutes I was talking about before. We cut right back to the hatch where Ana is sitting in the couch with her gun. When Michael awakes, he asks Ana Lucia where Jack went. She says that they have one of them, an Other, locked up in the armory. She was going to kill him because he tried to kill her. But she now realizes that she can’t. “I can’t do this anymore”. Awww, Ana Lucia has had her epiphany. Now if she were referring to something like, giving up smoking or something, I would be very proud of her right now. But since she’s referring to how she’s finally gotten to the point where she doesn’t want to kill people in cold blood for looking at her funny, my sympathy is limited. You see, learning not to kill someone in cold blood is something I learned at, you know, birth. Because I’m not an amoral sleaze. Sure I experimented with murder in college but who doesn’t?
When Michael hears what Ana says, he asks her to give him the gun, because if she can’t kill Henry, he will. The Others are animals, he says. Ana Lucia reluctantly agrees and hands over the gun to Michael and tells him the combination to the safe. So when she said that she “can’t do this anymore” I guess she was referring to pulling the trigger. Because now she’s instead just giving the gun to someone else knowing that he will kill Henry. How this makes Ana Lucia any different from what she was a few minutes ago I don’t know. Michael slowly stands up and then says “I’m sorry” to Ana Lucia.
“Sorry for what?” she responds. Then Michael raises the gun and shoots her in the chest. BAM! Didn’t see that coming did you? Bitch is DOWN! And she goes out nice and quick too, no gasping last-second speeches that you see in the movies. She just dies. A few seconds after Michael shoots her in the chest, Libby walks in on them holding a blanket in her hand (for her and Hurley’s picnic) and says “Michael?!”. Michael is so surprised by this that he turns around immediately and BAM! shoots Libby twice in the stomach. She goes down. Holy Christ what a body count. I LOVE sweeps!
Oh but were not done dear reader. Michael, after seeing the carnage before him slowly walks to the armory. He unlocks the door and opens it. Henry is sitting there looking unfazed. He stands up and looks at Michael. Does he know him? Was Michael coerced into doing this by the Others and Henry? Was he converted to an Other and decided to kill Ana Lucia when she gave him the gun, thus proving that she was no longer “worthy”? Well we don’t get to find out because before either of them says anything, Michael points the gun at his shoulder and BAM! shoots himself! Fade to black.
This show rules.