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So, how do you move an island?
The same way you move a woman.
That and other revelations brought us to the brink of the end of Season 4. Two weeks from now we’ll be treated to a two hour Season Finale, but the seeds are planted this week with a scatter-shot flash-forward and an episode that seemed to be in five places at once.
This ain’t my first time at the rodeo!
This week opens in the cockpit of an airplane with a pilot informing his co-pilot of chop ahead. When the pilot notices that his partner is clutching a rabbits foot he tells him to put it away, since the lack of faith it implies is freaking him out.
“We need this thing. With the cargo we got back there…bad Mojo.”
The pilot turns to a woman sitting in the jump-seat behind him. He tells Ensign Ro, er…Admiral Kane, er…Miss Decker that she should head back and let their passengers know that they’re landing. And just who are their passengers?
I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but you’re all Cylons and I have to kill you now.
The Oceanic Six.
Ensign Admiral Decker tells the Six that they’re going to be landing at a private military facility where their families are waiting to greet them. She also warns them that there’s a lot of press waiting to speak to them, but that they don’t have to speak to the press if they don’t want to.
Jack speaks for the Six.
“We’ll talk to ‘em.”
“Is that alright with all of you?”
No one speaks, but Jack tells her that they all agreed to speak to the press.
“We just…we just want to get it over with.”
“Okay. Um…they’re referring to you as ‘The Oceanic Six’. That’s not the best branding as far as we’re concerned, but…it’s catchy.”
Cheez-Its was taken.
Once she leaves, Jack reminds the Six that they all know the story and to dummy up if they get questions they don’t want to or can’t answer.
“It’s okay. They’ll…they’ll think that we’re in shock.”
Sun has a reminder of her own for their spokesman.
“We are in shock, Jack.”
“Well, then this should be easy.”
The plane lands and slowly the rear cargo door opens to reveal a group of people anxiously waiting to greet the Six.
Hurley’s family, Sun’s parents and Jack’s Mother all are there to greet their long lost children. Kate and Aaron stand awkwardly apart, as does Sayid until Hurley sweeps him into his family’s circle. A point is made of showing Sun embracing her Mother while her Father stoically looks on. Kate is left out of the celebration, holding Aaron as she watches the joyful reunions all around her.
Holy crap is that CHEECH? Pass that dutch, yo! HOLLA!
Back on the beach, Rose is speculating that Sayid and Desmond must have been in the helicopter, which might explain why the sat phone was tossed into the camp. Sun wonders why they wouldn’t just land rather than tossing the sat phone to the castaways.
Jack figures that the answers to those questions are less important than following the signal on the sat phone and finding the chopper.
“It’s a phone, right? Can’t we just call?”
Jack looks to Daniel to see if they can “just call” and Daniel seems to think they can. Jack hands him the phone but warns him not to do anything stupid with it.
Daniel sets it to “Monitor only” and the group is able to listen in on the conversation in the chopper, presumably through one of the other sat phones.
We hear Keamy order Frank to set the chopper down, despite being five clicks from the site.
“Soon as we hit the ground we deploy to The Orchid.”
Jack looks at his pet Other, Juliet and asks if she knows what “The Orchid” might be.
“No. I didn’t hear Desmond or Sayid, either.”
Jack calls Kate and instructs her to get the guns and some water. They’re going for a walk.
I can pre-order my coffee at Starbucks with this thing!
Juliet protests that Jack is taking an unnecessary risk by traipsing off into the jungle just after having surgery, but he’s not listening. He promised that he would get the survivors off the island and if walking into the jungle in the middle of the night at the risk of ripping his stitches and bleeding to death is what it’ll take, then that’s just what he’s going to do.
Mildly impressed by his courage and fortitude. Moved nearly to tears by just how monumentally stupid this would be in real life. I know, I know, everyone heals at a remarkable pace on the island. It’s still an incredibly bone-headed move.
But it will be awesome to see him crying his way through the jungle.
After Juliet admonishes him not to bleed to death, the scene cuts to Daniel frantically paging through his journal as Charlotte asks him what’s wrong.
“Charlotte, did you hear what he said? They’re going to The Orchid. They’re using the secondary protocol.”
“What’re you talking about?”
Um…so Daniel may not be quite so out of the loop as we thought. He knows about the secondary protocol, despite being the group’s “head case” while Indiana Lewis hasn’t got a clue.
He flips to a page in his notebook with the Dharma symbol for The Orchid and a bunch of equations mentioning “spacelike factors” and “timelike factors”. He looks at it for a second before looking Charlotte in the eye.
“We have to get off this island. Right now.”
Out in the jungle, Jack and Kate are catching up to the chopper. Since they’re making progress, Kate suggests that it’s a good time for Jack to take a break. Amazingly, instead of protesting, Jack stops to take a breather. As they stop, she notices that his shirt is stained with more than sweat.
“No, I’m not bleeding. I’m…I’m suppurating. It’s discharge. My body’s just fightin’ the infection around the stitches.”
“You know when most people are lying and they can’t look you in the eye? You do the exact opposite.”
Before they can get to debating the finer points of surgical recovery, a sound in the underbrush breaks the moment and brings their guns out.
I forgot how fun it is to spend time with you.
Out of the jungle comes…Miles!
“Hey, long time no see.”
Miles is rapidly becoming my favourite other Other.
An infant cries somewhere behind him and we here a familiar smart mouth…
“Who the hell’re you talking to up there, Ghengis?”
What I wouldn’t give to have been able to listen in on the conversation between these two since Claire vanished. Ah well, man cannot live on one-liners alone.
Jack sees that it’s just two men and a baby and asks where Claire is.
“We lost her.”
“She just walked off in the middle of the night. We looked for her for a day, but she was just gone. I was hopin’ maybe she went back to the beach.”
Sawyer notices the phone Jack’s carrying and Jack explains about the helicopter and Sawyer gets Jack and Kate up to speed on the mercenaries’ attack on Locke’s splinter group and suggests that going after that particular group of heavily armed psychopaths mightn’t be such a great idea.
“So…what? We’re supposed to just turn around and hide? ‘Cause it seems like that didn’t work so well for you.”
“I’m sorry, Doc, maybe this is dÃ©ja vu, but didn’t you just do the whole ‘Run through the jungle with a walkie’ plan?”
“That helicopter is our only way off this island.”
“What’s with you and ‘gettin’ off the island’? You’re like a damn broken record.”
Kate interjects. “Stop it! Are you two fightin’ each other now?”
Um…Kate? What’dya mean, now? These two have been at each other like starving dogs on a soup bone since the crash, mostly over you. And they say men are oblivious.
Let’s play Moonlighting! I’ll be Cybil Shepard
After a little speech about personal responsibility and handing Kate the baby, Jack heads off after the chopper.
Sawyer makes his choice and starts after him. “Hold up! You don’t get to die alone.”
Ensign Admiral Decker stands in front of an Oceanic Airlines backdrop and gives a short presentation to a group of assembled reporters.
She explains that the plane crashed off the coast of Indonesia and that the crash survivors drifted to a nearby island where they remained for 108 days until using a survival raft that washed ashore on day 103 to get off the island and find their way to an inhabitted island and rescue.
(Ironic name sidenote: The (fictional) island that the survivors washed ashore on after the crash is called “Membata”. The term “Membata-bata” is Indonesian and can be translated as “Ambivalent” which one dictionary defines as “Uncertain or unable to decide about what course to follow”. Considering that a plane flying from Australia to Los Angeles would have had to fly about 3000 miles in the WRONG DIRECTION immediately after take off to get anywhere near Indonesia, the name is a fitting one.)
(You’re fired! sidenote: Is it just me or is anyone else out there wondering what the hell kind of reporter wouldn’t notice that Indonesia is in the wrong ocean for a plane on its way to Los Angeles from Australia? I can forgive the passengers (barely) for not noticing that they were flying over a continent and not an ocean, I can forgive the pilots (barely) if their instrumentation was somehow messed with and they were flying above the clouds, but reporters not noticing and demanding answers for a plane crash happening some 5000 plus miles from where the plane ought to have crashed? Please.)
After her explanation, she opens the floor to questions.
Jack fields the first question and explains that they drifted in the ocean for a day before the eight survivors washed up on shore.
A second questioner wonders how after three months on a deserted island they all look so healthy. This is one of those questions that the Six really can’t answer truthfully, so Hurley takes it.
“Was that directed at me, Dude?”
“They shoot fat people, don’t they?” – Delta Burke, Designing Women, 1986
His answer deflects the question nicely.
(Dumb question sidenote: These reporters need to do their homework. The passengers and crew of the S.S. Minnow survived for years on nothing but coconuts and banana cream pies served on exploding plates. In all that time, the Skipper never lost an ounce.)
By speaking up, Hurley draws the reporter’s further attention. She asks about his personal worth from his lottery winnings.
“I don’t want it back, any of it. That money was bad luck.”
(This directly relates to the most important event of the episode sidenote: Keep this little tidbit in mind, folks. It’s important.”)
A Korean reporter asks Sun a question. Was Jin one of the eight original survivors?
Sun translates this for the group and then ponders the question for a long time.
“The answer is no. He never made it off the plane.”
Kate is questioned about giving birth on the island and how old little Aaron might be. When the questioning turns to her murder warrant, Ms. Decker steps in and takes that part of the story off the table.
Someone asks Sayid (I guess they felt it only fair to ask one question of each survivor – politest reporters…ever.) if there is any chance that anyone else survived the crash. He is quick to shut down inquirey in that direction.
“No. Absolutely not.”
After the press conference, Ms. Decker informs Sayid that someone is waiting for him who was not on his family list. Noor Abed Jaseem.
The two star crossed lovers reunite in a tender, understated scene.
Naveen Andrews should get an Emmy nomination for this moment alone.
Back on the island, Sayid brings the Zodiac raft into the beach. He tells the assembled survivors that he’s going to start bringing people back to the freighter, six at a time. When Juliet asks why it’s so urgent that they get off the island, Sayid tells her exactly why.
“Because the men on that helicopter have every intention of killing us all.”
Juliet’s expression of dismay prompts him to ask “What?”
“Jack and Kate just went running after it.”
Somehow, even without rolling his eyes, the look on Sayid’s face says “Of course they did.”
Somewhere in the jungle, Hurley is wondering where he and the other two Stoo…dudes are going.
Ben informs him that they’re going to a greenhouse called “The Orchid”.
“And why are we going to a greenhouse, exactly?”
“You heard John. We’re going to move the island.”
Hurley is understandably confused about how a greenhouse is going to help them move an island AND about why Ben didn’t just move the island before the guys with all the ordinance showed up.
“Because doing it is both dangerous and unpredictable. It’s a measure of last resort.”
“Awesome.” Yeah, awesome. For once, I’m not sure I agree with Hurley’s assessment here. I would have said something more like “You are so full of shit,” but that’s me.
As they walk, Ben stops and retrieves a box concealed beneath some rocks. Locke puts his foot down, literally. He steps on the box, preventing Ben from opening it. He takes it and opens it for him. Inside he finds a smaller box that rattles. This he tosses to Hurley, who opens it and finds…crackers!
Hurley wanna cracker?
Apparently he does. While he happily munches on the crackers, Ben asks John to pass him the mirror that was in the box. Before beginning to signal someone high in the hills with the mirror, he gives Hurley some information.
“You know, those are 15 years old.”
Ben flashes his mirror into the hills and gets a signal back.
Hurley and Locke are understandably curious about the signals and who Ben is signalling.
“Who do you think? All right. Now we can go.”
“Wait. What was that? What did you tell them?”
“None of your business, John.”
John, allow me to introduce you to Ben. He’s the leader. You might be the savant, but he’s in charge.
Back on the beach, Sayid is preparing to head into the Jungle after Jack and Kate. Faraday convinces Sayid and Juliet to let him start ferrying people from the beach to the boat. As they start loading the Zodiac (how much gas does that motor hold anyhow?) Kate returns to the beach with Aaron. When she sees what’s going on and after explaining the situation to Sayid, she passes Aaron to Sun with instructions to get him safely to the boat.
She and Sayid head off after Jack and Sawyer.
Faraday gets the first group into the boat, including Sun and Jin.
“I told you I’d get you off the island.”
Back in the world, Sun climbs the stairs to her Father’s offices. As she enters, she overhears one of his lackeys lamenting the fact that whoever did “it” used five different banks.
Mr. Paik dismisses his people while demanding that they get someone named Yoon up to his office immediately. He sees Sun and after explaining that what she heard was nothing important, just business, he asks about her pregnancy.
“Don’t pretend to be interested in my baby. We both know you hated my husband.”
Mr. Paik is surprised by her tone. “What did you say?”
“You heard me. You hated Jin.”
“Who do you think you are? I am your father. You will respect me.”
Sun drops the bomb she came to deliver. “Oceanic paid us our settlement for the crash. It was very significant. This morning, I bought a controlling interest in your company. So you will now respect me.”
“Why… would you do this?”
Because I like it when you make that face. It’s hilarious.
“You ruined my husband’s life. It is because of you we were on that plane. Two people are responsible for his death. You are one of them. I am going to have my baby. And then we shall discuss the plans for the future of the company. Our company.”
(Subtle clue sidenote: Notice that the take-over was accomplished using five banks. I’m putting my money on the five adult members of the Oceanic Six being in this thing together. We still haven’t learned all the whys and wherefores of the deal, but Sun knows that her Father put Jin on the plane and I suspect that he may even have had a hand in either bringing it down or directing it to the island and she knows that too. If that information is common knowledge among the survivors, a little sweet revenge isn’t that far-fetched. Plus, big settlement or not, I highly doubt that ONE person’s cash settlement from an airline would be sufficient to buy controlling interest in a car company. Five people’s? Plus maybe some extra Hurley-money, perhaps? I might buy that.)
Speaking of Hurley, he pulls up to what can only be described as an estate, in a car that can only be described as a POS. Seeing as how he’s got Mr. Cluck’s chicken, we have to assume that Mr. Cluck’s has been meteorite-free lately.
In the house, no one responds when he calls. He hears whispers and picks up the nearest blunt object before throwing open the doors to reveal…a surprise party!
I’d like to thank my parents, God, and Oprah for making this all possible. I dedicate my performance to Darfur.
His Mom sees the statue in his hand.
“Hugo, what are you doing with that?”
“I don’t know. I thought there might be a prowler or something.”
“Jesus Christ is not a weapon.”
Hurley’s party is in full swing and we finally get a reference to (although possibly unintentional) Gilligan’s Island, when Hurley sees Kate and greets her and then Aaron.
“Hey, Little Buddy.”
If Hurley had been wearing a hat and given Aaron a tap with it, my work here would be done.
Sayid walks up and comments on the “island” theme of the party.
“Yeah, my mom…really doesn’t get it, Dude.”
Cheech interrupts with a borderline offensive quip about building fires and hunting boars but before he can alienate his guest with any more off colour humour, he snags Hurley and drags him out to see his gift.
Hurley reminds him that he doesn’t want any gifts paid for with the money.
“Relax. I got this before you gave us the money.”
Notice he didn’t say that Hurley gave them all the money. I’m betting that some went to Sun’s little business venture. $150 Million+ goes a long way.
Hurley’s gift is the Camaro that he and his Dad had once worked on together. David fixed it up back when he thought Hugo was dead, as a sort of memorial to his son.
The two men get in the car to take it for a spin. But, there’s a problem.
It’s the numbers! We haven’t seen the numbers for ages! Hurley still remembers them though. At first he wonders if it’s supposed to be a joke, but his Dad seems to think it’s just a coincidence.
Hurley isn’t convinced. In fact, he’s so freaked out that he runs screaming from the car.
(Hmmm sidenote: Since we’ve seen Hurley driving this same Camaro in another “flash-forward” that happens after this, can it be that somehow Hurley is convinced to take the car, despite the appearance of the numbers? I have a hard time imagining Hurley even being willing to be in the car, let alone driving it.)
Back in the jungle, Hurley asks the perfectly obvious question.
“But suppose somehow it works, and we move the island. Doesn’t that mean the dudes with guns move, too?”
“Yes, I suppose they would.”
“Well, isn’t that, you know, a problem?”
Ben always has a plan. Except right at the moment.
“I’m working on it.”
When Hurley reminds them that he still wants to get off the island, no matter where it is, Locke has the cold glass of reality ready.
“I’m afraid it’s a little late for that, Hugo.”
Why, John, I think I see a grackle. A grackle, John. Look how it moves it’s head. Look, John! Watch the grackle. (slow violin shriek)
Ben asks for the binoculars and suggests that his companions might want to get a little closer to the ground.
“And why might we wanna do that?”
“Because we’re at the Orchid.”
“What are we waitin’ for?”
“We’re waiting, John, because Charles Widmore, the man who’s trying to capture me and kill all the rest of you, knows about this place and knows that what we need is inside.”
“I thought you said you had no idea why he was trying to find he island.”
“I wasn’t being entirely truthful.”
Through the binoculars, Locke sees that the guys with all the guns have beaten them to the station.
Faraday gets his charges back to the boat and explains the situation very briefly to Desmond. Sun and Jin climb onto the freighter. They are shocked to hear a familiar voice telling Desmond that the engine is fixed and to tell Hendricks to try it.
Desmond relays the information to Hendricks and sure enough, the vessel has power once again. When Desmond gives the bearing that Hendricks needs to follow, he enters it into the navigation system, but something is interfering with the equipment. With RF interference messing with the Fathometer, Hendricks isn’t willing to bring the ship closer than five miles to shore for fear of hitting the reef.
Five miles? How much gas does that Zodiac carry? Enough for two trips of ten miles plus? Seems unlikely.
Desmond vows to find the source of the interference.
Out in the jungle, Sawyer notices that Jack is bleeding.
“Cut yourself shavin’?”
“Juliet took out my appendix a couple of days ago.”
“You’re kiddin’ me.”
“Well, what else did I miss?”
What are you lookin’ at? I’m tryin’ to sarcastically banter with you humorously, here.
Before Jack can answer, they realize that they’ve found the helicopter.
Inside they find Lapidus handcuffed to the floor of the chopper.
Jack knows him, but Sawyer doesn’t.
“You know this yahoo?”
“‘Yahoo’? This yahoo dropped that phone on you guys so you could find me and I could fly you outta here. So why don’t you do me a favor and get that back compartment? There’s a toolbox, see if you can find something to get me outta these things.”
“You heard the man.”
“Well, all right. Could I get you boys a nice, cold glass of lemonade while I’m back there?”
Jack asks after Sayid and Desmond and Lapidus explains that the two survivors stayed behind safe and sound on the boat, which is a safer place than the island because the men that Lapidus ferried over are not in the mood to chat. They’re waiting at “some greenhouse” for Linus and when they get back to the clearing with their prisoner, the clearing isn’t going to be a very safe place for anyone except the only pilot on the island.
Jack isn’t terribly concerned about Linus and is more interested in getting Lapidus to help him rescue his people. Sawyer has a question though.
“Hang on, Shaggy. You said the hit squad’s gonna grab Ben Linus?”
“Well, I don’t see what’s gonna stop ‘em.”
“What are they gonna do with the people that are with ‘em?”
Sawyer tells Jack the bad news. Hugo is with Ben.
“Son of a bitch.”
Back in the world, Jack is presiding over another funeral. His Father’s. For some reason, they’ve waited six or seven months from the time of the return of The Oceanic Six to hold this wake, but that delay isn’t explained. I have seen a lot of people wondering about why they would delay it, but I doubt that it’s in any way important.
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry!
He has no kind words for his Father, except to say a simple “Goodbye” and “I loved you” and finally “I miss you.”
After the ceremony ends and he speaks briefly to his Mother, Kate congratulates him on his performance.
“Had a lot of practice.”
A blond woman with an Australian accent interrupts to offer her condolences. She’s also there to tell Jack the startling news that he has, or rather had, a half sister. A half sister who sat on the airplane with him for six hours without him ever knowing who she was. A half sister named Claire.
Jack looks at little Aaron in a whole new light.
Claire’s Mother leaves, but on her way she stops to tell Kate how beautiful her son is.
You promised not to cry! Now I’m crying!
On the freighter, Sun is trying to make sense of Michael’s presence on the boat. He explains vaguely that the bearing Ben gave him took he and Walt to an island and then they were able to go back to New York.
“And now you’re working for Ben?”
“I do not work for Ben. I’m trying to make up for what I did. I’m trying to help you out here. Translate what I said.”
Before the conversation can get any deeper into Michael’s motivations, a somewhat concerned Desmond shouts for Michael.
The little group runs after him.
Inside the superstructure of the freighter, they come face to face with the source of the RF intereference. Explosives. Enough C4 to crack the freighter like an egg.
Jin speaks to Sun in Korean. I don’t need subtitles to understand: “Get as far from here as you can, now!”
Out in the jungle, Kate notices a new set of tracks that intersects with Jack and Sawyer’s and is doubling back behind her and Sayid. Sayid figures that the best defense is a good offense and demands loudly that whoever might be following them show themselves. After all, he and Kate have guns.
Unfortunatley, Richard and his little army of Others have more guns. Despite their bravado, Richard’s overwhelming superiority convinces them to lower their weapons.
Good form though. Very Busby B.
At The Orchid, Locke assesses the strength of the armed group, seeing only two men, neither of which is the man who killed Ben’s daughter.
Ben hands Locke his “Didn’t I tell you? I’m a fucking ninja,” baton and issues his instructions.
“Listen to me very carefully, John, because I’m not gonna have time to repeat this. You’re gonna go into that greenhouse through that hole there. Once inside, you’re gonna turn left. Go about 20 paces until you see a patch of anthuriums on your left. They’re in an alcove against the north wall. Face the wall, reach down with your left hand. You’ll find a switch that activates the elevator. The elevator takes you down to the actual Orchid station.”
Hurley is all over the “Whoa. Wait. What?”
I can’t decide if Hurley is just unsure of so many instructions in such a short time OR if he’s “Whoa. Wait. What?”-ing because Locke has managed to blow up just about every structure on the island that he’s entered.
Locke has a practical objection as well.
“Okay, I’m sorry, Ben, but maybe I missed the part where you explained what I’m supposed to do about the armed men inside.”
“I’m gonna take care of them.”
“And how the hell are you gonna do that?”
I’M A FUCKING NINJA!!! How many times do I have to say it?!?
“How many times do I have to tell you, John? I always have a plan.”
With that, Ben begins to move toward The Orchid, in dramatic slow motion.
Sun walks slowly toward the stern of the freighter, in slow motion.
Jack and Sawyer head out to try and rescue Hurley, in slow motion.
Kate and Sayid, escorted by Richard and his troops walk through the jungle, in slow motion.
And finally the camera pans slowly over Locke and Hurley watching Ben’s plan unfold.
Ben walks into the teeth of the armed group. With his hands raised, he casually announces his presence by introducing himself.
“My name is Benjamin Linus. I believe you’re looking for me.”
Keamy and Omar share a little “Hey, our job is done! Wanna get some hookers and beer?” eyespeak.
Keamy puts a gun to his head. Ben does his best Alfalfa impersonation.
Normally I’m a lover, not a fighter, but in this case im willin’ to make an exception!
For a moment, it looks like season five might be Linus-less, but no. A quick strike the forehead and all goes black.