The lovely and talented Kat has taken a brief sabbatical for the next few weeks so she has graciously passed her duties of Lost recapping onto me. I of course am thrilled because I was getting sick of having her episodes be the ones where all the good stuff happens and then I get stuck with the lame “Charlie does drugs” filler junk. And after last weeks preview I knew this episode was going to be a good one. I was of course right. All sorts of great stuff happened this week. The preview however said that there were “five things” that were going to happen in this episode that will shock us all, but I gotta tell ya, after seeing it I wasn’t sure which 5 they were talking about. Like, when Locke told the woman in the flashback that her house showed no signs of dry rot. Was that one of the five things? Who knows. All I know is it was a crackling good episode. Shocking revelations, a huge mystery finally solved, and a new one rearing its ugly head, leaving us Lost nerds emotionally spent.
And seeing as how I literally spent about twenty minutes on my hands and knees staring at a freeze frame of this episode on my 51-inch television to try and find a clue, I finally realized that no matter how much I like to make fun of Lost geeks, I am one of them.
Hey it could be worse. I could be a Scientologist.But before we recap, a brief walk around the internerd.
I would like to give a shout out to Lost commenter USNRNPage for giving us this link that reveals in detail all the whispers that we here whenever the Others make an appearance. Apparently someone who has surround sound not only transcribed the whispers, but listed in what speaker they came from. That is some true geek awesomeness. A warning however, if these whispers are true, they are highly spoiler-filled, so don’t read if you don’t want to know.
Lost: the Musical. A parody from the Jimmy Kimmel show. Unfortunately you need the downright evil RealPlayer to view it.
The spoilerfix.com website is a great place to go if you are the kind of guy who gets the Far Side daily calendar and reads all 365 cartoons on January 1st. If you get some good spoilers from there, a warning. Keep them out of the comments, or I will be forced to make you read my Desperate Housewives recaps, and nobody wants that.
An article on MSNBC about Locke that’s somewhat interesting, including all sorts of speculation about the mystery man.
That’s about it. Of course if you hear of anything interesting drop me a line, and I will try and get it in the next recap.
The episode this week starts, as it almost always does, in flashback mode. We see Locke, with more hair, looking at the wedding ring he just bought. Soon he will ask Katey Sagal’s Helen to marry him and then someday they will be Marriedâ€¦. With Children. HAHA! Get it!? Ahem. Locke has it all planned out. A picnic lunch with the ring wrapped in a handkerchief. As Helen goes down to read the obits in the paper over breakfast (something my mother does too for some reason) she sees that Locke’s father, Anthony Cooper, the one who stole his kidney, is dead.
Back in the hatch the show starts off exactly where we left off last week with Henry Gale making an ominous threat about him setting up an ambush for Sayid, Charlie, and Ana Lucia. Jack tells him to draw the map again. Henry immediately starts backing down saying it was just a joke and he’s sorry he said anything. Locke tells Jack not to bother since it’s already too late, they left hours ago. Jack tells Locke to put Gale back in the armory and storms off. Henry, sensing an opportunity to push some buttons, asks Locke, “Why do you let him talk to you like that?” The button-pushing works and Locke grabs him and hurls him into the armory in a fit of rage. Locke has issues with being bossed around.
In the jungle Sayid and Ana Lucia are searching the open field in the pouring rain but haven’t found anything. They hear Charlie yell out. When they find him he is standing over a grave. Then they notice the rain isn’t coming down where they are standing and when they look up they seeâ€¦ a huge hot air balloon with a big smiley face on the top, just like Henry said. Whatever, he’s still a filthy Other.
This proves nothing
On the beach jack is asking around where Ana Lucia is. Hurley says that she left with Sayid yesterday. Libby then asks Jack to look at her hand which she hurt in the surf. When Jack says she needs some Neosporin, she says that the “going rate” is ten loads of laundry and then points to Sawyer who is playing cards on the beach. Sawyer of course is the man that stole the guns and the medicine and is selling them to the highest bidder, all the while being an arrogant prick. Why the other castaways don’t just string him up and force him to give back what he stole is beyond me.
In the hatch Locke is trying to burn off his rage on the bicycle machine, with some music blaring. Before he can move onto the Thighmaster, he hears something. Static noise in the background. When he goes to turn off the music he hears it even more clearly. There is a voice in the static and its coming from the speakers. He tries to fix the speaker and gets huge feedback. A quick cut to Henry Gale in the armory and we can hear a woman’s voice say something but I didn’t make it out. Anyone out there hear what she said?
In the flashback Locke and Helen are at his father’s funeral. They are the only ones there but they do notice a few shifty guys in the distance and a car with tinted windows that drives off. Unless gravediggers these days dress like Italian gangsters, I feel we may see them again. When its time for Locke to speak, he simply looks at the casket and says “I forgive you.”
We then cut right back to the hatch. Henry is asking Locke what all the commotion is about. Locke just yells at him to shut up. The static then clears and we can hear a countdown. “8â€¦7â€¦6â€¦5…” When it reaches 1, giant steel doors descend around the entire living quarters. Before the last one closes Locke quickly grabs a crowbar and races, Indiana Jones style, to ram it under the last remaining door.
On the beach Hurley is paying Poker with Sawyer and Kate for papayas. Jack walks up and tells Hurley to fold. It seems Jack knows quite a bit about Poker and can tell Sawyer has the better hand. Sawyer, feeling his machoness threatened, goads Jack into joining the game, as opposed to going back to the hatch like he planned. Jack of course falls for it and the boys start to play.
In the hatch Locke is trying to use the crowbar to wedge the door open, but it won’t budge. Henry keeps asking what is wrong but Locke says everything’s OK. We then go right to the flashback where we See Locke at his job. This is before he was wheelchair-bound and working at the box factory, so now he is a house inspector. As he is finishing up his latest inspection he notices the car with the tinted windows is sitting across the street. He walks up to it and the window lowers to reveal Locke’s supposedly dead father, only not quite as dead. As they are talking things over in a bar we find out that he faked his death because he cheated 2 guys out of 700 thousand dollars. He needs Locke to go to a safe deposit box and get the money. As a reward he gets to keep 200 grand of it. If he does that he can meet him at a motel. Also, he just got an email from a Nigerian banker who needs a small fee to open an account so he can transfer 8 million dollars in frozen assets. If he does this he gets to keep 15%!! (As an aside check out this website from a guy who scammed a bunch of Nigerian scammers, it’s awesome.)
From here we cut right back to the hatch. Locke explains to Gale what happened. He says that he needs his help in order to get out. Gale says he will help him only on condition that, no matter what, he makes sure the others don’t hurt him. Locke, in a fit of stupidity, agrees. Then Gale says that if he can fit his entire palm over his face it means he has cancer. Locke then raises his hand over his face andâ€¦whammo! Gale punches him.
Back on the beach, Jack is cleaning up at poker. This gets Sawyer upset because he likes to think he is the most macho guy on the beach. Sawyer loses his last mangos and when Jack is about to walk away Sawyer then asks him to name his stakes, for one more hand. Jack tells him he wants all the medicine he stole from the armory. It is on, and Sawyer has just been served.
Gale and Locke are trying to get the door open using some metal bars as leverage. Once they force it up a few feet Gale jams the toolbox under it to keep it open. Locke then immediately tries to shimmy under the opening but once he puts his legs under the door the toolbox starts to collapse shoving a metal rod from the bottom of the gate into his leg. Gale quickly grabs the lifting weights and stacks them under the door to ease the pressure but Locke is stuck. Like Winnie the Pooh, only on a deserted island hatch, bald and with rage issues. Gale says they should wait for help to arrive but Locke says they don’t have time to wait. The computerâ€¦.
Didn’t this guy have an arrow through his shoulder like, 2 days ago?
In the flashback Locke is at the bank opening the safe deposit box. It is full of cash just like his father said it was. When he gets home he comes in the door and tells Helen that they are going to go out and celebrate, but it looks like that will have to wait as they have visitors. The oily gangster kind. One of them is even wearing a gold necklace over a black shirt. That’s always bad news. In fact I think one of them was the evil pimp from the Pat Benatar “Love is a battlefield” video.
Heartache to heartacheâ€¦we stand. No promises, no demandsâ€¦â€¦Love is a battlefield!
“Hey, how ya doin? My name’s Vinnie Stereotype. This is my associate, Joey Caricature.”
Anyways, they want to know if they’ve seen his dad since he died. Locke says no, but they still suspect him because of the way he was acting at his funeral. Helen then demands that they leave, but before they do they want to see what’s in his bag. He says its just some papers. They want to take a look anyway and when they empty it out it isâ€¦ just papers and stuff. And a huge vibrating dildo. Awwwkward! After they leave Helen looks at him and asks, “Were you lying to those men John?” Locke makes another big mistake and says no.
On the beach Sawyer is asking Jack where he learned to play poker. Jack says “Phuket,” which is pronounced “Poo-ket” and not the foul pronunciation you think it means you dirty, dirty reader.
In the hatch Gale asks “What does it do?” referring to the computer and the numbers. Locke says they aren’t exactly sure, but they have to enter the numbers every 108 minutes. Gale will have to go through the vent in the pantry to get to the computer room to enter in the numbers in time. When Gale gets up on the shelves in the pantry to grab onto the vent he slips and falls, whether on purpose we aren’t sure. As he hits the ground he is knocked out. Whether he is knocked out for real or faking it we aren’t exactly sure. What we are sure of is once he hits the ground unconscious we here the ticking of the clock. They have less than a minute.
On the beach the great poker standoff continues. We also learn that Sawyer is a veteran of numerous venereal diseases. Oh, good for him. Jack then bluffs Sawyer on the last and final hand and wins back all of the medicine. As he walks off Sawyer asks him why he didn’t ask for the guns as stakes. Jack just responds, in his best Charles Bronson imitation, that when he wants the guns, he’ll get the guns.
Back in the hatch the clock is ticking and Locke is screaming at Gale to wake up. Henry finally comes to and groggily starts back up into the vents again. After he disappears from view the beeping turns into the giant alarm. They have only seconds now. And since this show likes to give you dramatic blue balls, we of course cut right back to the flashback.
Locke is meeting with his father at the motel room with the money. As he is counting the money Cooper asks about the woman at the funeral. Who is she? Her name is Helen and he’s gonna ask her to marry her tonight Locke says. Cooper then sets down his take on the table. 200 grand. “I didn’t do this for them money” Locke says”. Then why did you do it?” asks Cooper. Locke just looks at him. He did it for his daddies love. Awwwwww. Too bad his dads a jagoff who doesn’t give crap about Locke or his love. Oh Locke, you stupid, stupid man.
When Cooper goes to leave the room he is greeted at the door by Helen, and shes pissed. She storms off. Locke tries to explain but she can’t believe that he lied to her. I can’t believe she didn’t trust him and followed him in secret so were all surprised. Helen accuses Locke of wanting his father’s love more than hers. As a last ditch effort, Locke gets on his knees and pulls out the ring and asks her to marry her. What a story for the grandkids huh? “Gramma how did grandpa ask you to marry him?” “Well children, he was giving his con artist father 700 grand and I caught him by following him to a seedy motel.” Gets me all choked up just thinking about it. Alas this was not meant to be as Helen just drives off, leaving Locke a crushed man. But a crushed man with 200 grand worth of coke and strippers ahead if him. Time to par-tay.
Back in the hatch things are getting tense. The alarm is getting louder, the lights are flickering. An then we hear it. The ruffling of the numbers resetting into the hieroglyphics, the whirr of the turbines. Did Gale get to it in time? Then the lights go out entirely. And what happens next is one of the coolest moments of the show. Blue emergency lights come on bathing the entire room in a blue luminescence. When Locke looks up at the emergency door that is crushing his leg he seesâ€¦ a giant map, written in invisible glow in the dark ink. This caused me to have yet another true TVgasm.
Now we only get a brief glimpse of it but I was able to find a giant high resolution screen shot here. Since what it says can be construed as highly spoiler filled, I will white out the text of the next few paragraphs. If you don’t want to know skip ahead, if you do, just highlight below to read.
OK, so now that the other readers who don’t want to know what happened are gone, we can finally talk about them behind their back. God what a bunch of losers! Am I right?! I bet they are all fat and smell bad too. Too bad they can’t be as cool as us.
The entire thing looks to be a map of all the other hatches on the island. Each hatch has its own symbol, with the hatch that Locke is in marked on the map with a giant “I am here” as the Swan facility. So far we’ve seen only 2 other hatches. The medical facility, with the symbol of the AMA (known as the staff of Aesculapius), and the hatch where the tailies were hiding which had a spear symbol. You will also remember that the tattooed shark from the ocean also had the Dharma spear symbol on its underside. From the map it looks like Desmond was able to find 3 other hatches and their related symbols. The medical facility has the words “the staff” written below it. The one at the top I think is the spear hatch but I cant be sure of because the top is cut off because Locke has the door jammed up a few feet. it has what looks to be the word “hexon”written on it as the name. The third hatch, one we’ve never seen, is directly to the left of the Swan hatch. It’s got an odd wavy symbol with a line and a dot in it and the name is smudged but it looks like the first few words are “nef”. There are then two more hatches that only have the writing “C4?” on them.
Along with the hatches there are other things marked on the maps. You can notice that Desmond drew the topogrophy faintly over the maps of the hatches, with rivers and mountains marked. THere are other rectangular markings as well, designated as “CV” and numbered with roman numerals. Apparently CV 1, 2 and 9 are right near the hatch, with a CV 4 near one of the mystery hatches.
Also there is writing all around the map. The only parts I can make out refer to the incident and the accident. One sentence says “Possible CV II ” inactive since accident” That’s all I can make out so far, but I’m sure there are people everywhere on the case.
Finally, the main point of the map is that all the hatches are designed in a giant hexagonal formation just like the Dharma symbol, and at the center of it all is the main facility, written in yellow, with a huge question mark. What is it?
OK, that’s all I could tell so far. Now let’s get back to the recap and those idiot non spoiler readers. Just everyone play it cool and don’t tell them what we talked about here.
OK, we’re back. Nothing to see here. Move along…
After only a few scant moments to read the map, the lights then come on and the blast doors retract. Locke then crawls into the computer room calling for Henry. He looks up at the timer which reads 107 minutes. Maybe Henry got there after all. He looks over and sees Henry. “You came back,” Locke says. “What did you think I was going to do? Leave you here?” Gale answers. Gale helps him to his feet and Locke thanks him for not leaving him there alone. NO! Locke! Don’t believe him! He’s a filthy Other! I just know it!
Out in the jungle its night time and we see Jack heading back to the hatch. Kate catches up with him and asks Jack if she can join him. She wants to take a shower. Jack lies and says that the plumbing is busted because of a cracked pipe. Kate then smiles and says she’s glad he beat Sawyer. Uh-oh, I sense some more flirting going on. Let’s just hope a black horse doesn’t come out of nowhere. That totally ruins the mood for her.
Well there is no horse but they do see something. Bright flashing in the distance. They go to investigate and they sere that the flashing is on top of a giant pile of Dharma food, attached to a parachute. A food drop. But how? Did the lockdown trigger an automatic food drop? The food drop was meant for them because it ahs the swan hatch symbol on it. Then they hear a noise in the jungle and turn around to see Sayid, Charlie, and Ana Lucia. Jack looks at them and asks, “What did you find?”
In the hatch Gale is tending to Locke’s wounds. Locke asks Gale what he did that ended it. Gale says he just entered in the numbers and pressed the execute button. Then he climbed back into the hatch and the lights went off. Ten seconds later, the doors went up. I don’t buy that story. But we’ll save that for another day.
When Gale goes to get him a glass of water, Jack bursts in and tells him to move away from Locke immediately. Gale tries to protest but he is followed by Sayid pointing a gun at him telling him to move away. And when Sayid tells you to do something, you do it. Locke tries to stop them by saying its OK, that he let him out to help, but they aren’t letting up.
“Couldn’t you find my balloon?” Gale pleads. “We did find your balloon Henry Gale. Exactly how you described it,” says Sayid. “We also found the grave you described. Your wife’s grave. The grave you said you dug with your own bare hands. It was all there. Your whole story. Your alibi. it was true.’ At this point Sayid is up in his face.
“But still I did not believe it to be true. So I dug up that grave. And found that there was not a woman inside but a man. A man named Henry Gale.”
Then Sayid holds up the driver’s license of a middle-aged black man named… Henry Gale.
He. is. so. BUSTED.