I see someone doesn’t use deodorant.
This week we start off with Lea suffocating Benz with her pit smell and telling him how much she likes him. She does not however like Emilio, she thinks he’s there just to be on tv. NO! She doesn’t even know who Nick is. Bruno is a goofball and Jason just rubs her the wrong way. She thinks Ellen is just a shady ass dude.
Cut to Ellen and his sweater telling us he feels great because he is in total control of this game. Wait a sec while I fall out of my chair laughing.
Ellen decides to start mouthing off to the other guys but since he’s laughing I guess he thinks he can get away with it. Besides he informs us that if anyone touches him he will sue them. My big strong man!!! Ellen is on all of their nerves and he calls John an ogre and a thug motherfucker. Johns reaction…
Ellen’s sweater immediately calls their lawyer.
It takes several dudes to pull john off and poor Ellen looks like this…
The bow tie was asking for it. Douche.
Later Lea and Amber call John upstairs to find out what happened. Amber tells us Ellen must have started it because she can’t see John doing anything like that. John explains.
Over to Chinzilla. She needs to get some of these guys over to her side but she knows Ellen is 100% Team Tard.
There’s something to brag about.
She then drags Emilio into the confessional and does this…
Snooki’s response? “Who’s Emilio?”
Then Chinzilla face rapes him and it’s gross. Her next target is Benz. She tells him she feels that he is all about Lea. When asked who he likes most in the house he says she and Lea. She’s all “Whatever.” She tells us he needs to make up his mind because he’s the Smooth Criminal and she’s the Baddest Bad Girl. She says he needs to be with Team Chinzilla. Along with several plastic surgeons specializing in chin reduction.
Uh oh Tanisha calls a meeting in the Great Room. She has found another way for the guys to get to know the girls and for the girls to get some much needed advice. It’s the Mommies y’all!
I thought Sally Struthers was dead.
This is Chinzill’a Mom and from her title it looks like she must not have spoken to her a whole lot.
Amber’s Mom is next….
What was she 2 when she had her?
And last but not least Lea’s Mom…
And the ice cream truck.
The Mom’s are there for the day and will participate in the HBIC challenge. Off they go to chit chat. First topic is when Chinzilla punched Amber. Then this question…
At the horse races.
Chinzilla then has a loving conversation with Mom about how she gets naked in the pool but she hasn’t had sex in the house yet. Uhhhhhhhh yes she did.
Lea’s Mom wants to know what guys she likes. Lea says Benz is totally laid back and chill and Robert R. is much the same.
Amber’s Mom asks who her favs are and she tells her Corey,Nick and John. Mom didn’t faint at the sign of two black guys so that’s a good sign. Amber tells us she is most excited to introduce her Mom to Corey and she wants to make sure he’s Mom approved. She then tells her Mom Corey is always trying to cuddle with her.
Off to the challenge. They go to Kress and Tanisha and a bunch of uncooked food awaits them.
This can not end well.
For this challenge each girl will make a complete 3 course meal for each Mom. The Mom’s will do the judging but to keep it fair the guys will serve so no Mom will know who’s dish is who’s. Mom’s step out so they can choose the teams at random.
Amber chooses first by pulling a name out of a sack.
Lea is pissed because the three guys who she would want to put up for elimination are now on her team.
Off to the kitchen they go. Everyone is everywhere and I can’t tell who’s cooking what. Chinzilla however makes John and her team take off their shirts and put on their aprons.
Makes sense to me.
Finally it’s time for judging. The Mom’s have judge cards and will fill them out as they go. Tanisha reminds the twits they cannot reveal who cooked what until the scoring is finished. The girls go stand behind their Mom’s and one at a time the Teams serve the Mom’s.
Chinzilla’s Team is up first.
What the hell is that?
Robert explains that there are three dishes in front of them and one is artichokes representing the heart they have for their daughter or some such lame shit. Bruno made what is supposed to be meatballs. When Amber’s Mom asks if the sauce is home made he hedges and says he used some Prego but spiced it up. Loser. The last dish is stir fry with noodles.
Team Lea is next with a salad of grilled chicken. Then Jason proceeds to act like he’s had a stroke and can’t remember the ingredients. He tells us he wants Lea to lose so he’s purposefully throwing it.
I’d throw that out the window.
Second course is garlic mashed potatoes and what looks like asparagus.
That would be upside his head.
Tanisha has to remind him about the third dish and he says it’s steak, from the heart. It has cloves he thinks and peppers, onions and garlic. Lea looks like she wants to die. And she has figured out he’s throwing the comp.
She’s a quick one yall.
Last one up is Team Amber. They have a Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner theme. First up is cinnamon french toast, looks delicious.
I bet they are having to hold Tanisha back right now.
Next up is salmon salad although I don’t see any salmon.
It’s probably hiding from Chinzilla.
Last but not least is lemon caper butter pasta with a hint of garlic oil.
Tanisha just fainted.
At this point the girls walk over to reveal which team they were on. Then Tanisha slowly gives out the scores torturing the girls. I’m gonna just just cut to the chase.
Yep Amber wins again.
Lea is happy because she thinks Chinzilla will be the target. With this show who the hell knows. Time for Amber to pick the first dates. She picks Benz because she says she hasn’t had enough time to get to know him. She then sends Nick to Chinzilla because she says she knows he will never go to the dark side. That leaves Corey with Lea. Oh and the Moms will be coming on the dates as well.
Why the long face Chinzilla?
As usual they also get a second date but this time Mom will be picking them. Haahahahaha!!!!
Amber’s Mom chooses Bruno and Amber is happy. Mrs. Chinzilla choose “someone Natalie has never dated before” and that’s John. Lea’s Mom picks Robert.
It’s time for the dates to head upstairs to Kress for their dates. Tanisha tells them to pay attention to their Mom’s because Amber will be nominating 3 guys tonight.
Ellen is mortified he wasn’t picked. Get over it and go knit a new sweater.
Meanwhile up on the roof the party has started.
Wouldn’t it be a shame if Chinzilla fell off the roof?
Of course Amber and her crew get the VIP section and she and Mom get a gift as well.
I want a gift.
Oh hell, John has noticed there is an open bar.
I see trouble coming.
The Mom’s start grilling the guys and they give the lame as answers that all Mom’s want to hear. Amber’s Mom asks if she’s been putting out. Hahahahaha! I like her.
For some reason Corey comes over and visits Chinzilla and her Mom. Chinzilla tells her Mom that Corey hates her. Mom then tells that to Corey. Corey starts some long song and dance about needing to get to know each other and blah blah blah he’s just trying to keep from being sent home. I hope. Because if he meant any of that I now hate him.
Dude you better be lying your ass off.
Amber’s Mom thought she saw some chemistry between Bruno and Amber at first but now she’s not so sure. Time for the guys to leave and the girls to chat and compare notes.
When Chinzilla tells her Mom she likes Ellen she almost has a stroke lol.
Enough chit chat, time to go home. In the van on the way home with the boys, John is blasted. He’s yelling about being pissed 24 hours ago. He’s staggers into the house, slams into doors and then does this….
The girls arrive home as John is telling his woman he’s done. Then he gets off the phone and tells us his feelings for this girl are stronger than for any of the girls in the house.
John goes to talk to Amber and Lea and suddenly we start hearing screaming and Lea saying John no. Everyone runs upstairs including security.
I bees in wub wid nudder shorty yo.
Johns crying like a baby and Amber and Lea get him into the bathroom and he finally confesses his love for another. Lea is pissed. Lea tells him he can leave anytime he wants. And basically he does. After Lea asks/screams one more time if anyone else has a girlfriend, no one says a thing.
Someone’s about to pop off!
Suddenly Tanisha calls everyone in for a meeting and she is pissed. She tells them that things are getting out of control and she ain’t having it. So even though John is gone there will still be an elimination tonight.
Because he’s Team Chinzilla
Because he’s flaky.
She likes him but feels he doesn’t like her.
As usual each guy gets to beg to stay. It’s boring and sad.
Is someone holding them at gunpoint?
One thing I did find funny was Jason telling Lea he did not mess up on purpose to make her lose. Ha!
Sob sob whine whine.
Time for a decision. Once again Chinzilla and Lea cannot make a decision. Lea want’s Bruno to stay, Chinzilla wants the other two to stay. Once again this means Amber gets to decide.
Her first choice to stay is Bruno. Then she says a bunch of hooey and eventually gives Emilio the boot.
Don’t worry. I’m sure Snooki will give ya another shot.
Uh oh, Satan’s has entered the building.
We shall see if Chinzilla get get some payback next week,
See ya then,