Love Games: Punch Drunk Hos

Last week on Love Games, Batshit was a little too trusting of Lea which led to one of Batshit’s fav dudes getting the boot. As you see, she was not too pleased by that.

Quick someone give that horse a sugar cube, I thinks it’s blood sugar is low.

Lea tells us that Batshit is fake and Batshit tells us that Lea is playing the game dirty. No shit dippy, that’s why she won. IT’S A GAME.

Batshit hops downstairs and tells the guys she would like for them to remove her bed, suitcases and vanity from the whores room and place it into their room. She will be sleeping with the guys from now on.

Be happy now but wait until she farts in her sleep.

Corey B. is so excited to be laying next to that beautiful body. He must mean one of the other guys. Anyway as Batshit is putting the boys to work, Ellen has a question for Amber.

Poor Ellen, dresses like an 80′s movie and is dumb as dirt.

Amber was unaware of this, as she is most things. Batshit wants everyone to believe it’s because she just doesn’t want to sleep near the whores but it’s game play pure and simple. If she’s sleeping half naked next to all the guys it gives her an advantage. A boner advantage.

Jason sees 2 of the guys moving the bed and tells them they are Batshit’s full time slaves now. This guy immediately gets injured.

Oh my pinky toe!

Lea tells us that Batshit moved her bed down because she is so desperate and has no other option. Dipshit it is only episode 2, she has all kinds of options and you are just pissed you didn’t think of it first.

As the bed is placed, Batshit gives an example of how she gets into bed.

Like taking candy from a baby. A very large horny one.

Later Batshit explains to Amber and Lea that she’d rather sleep with the boys because this is a game and someone has to win. Lea all the sudden has an opinion on this. She doesn’t say it to Batshit but to us. She says all Batshit is going to do is use anyone in the house to her advantage and she could care less about how she genuinely feels about anyone. Oh you mean like you did last week.

Sounds like someone’s getting skeerd.

Amber announces that Batshit is acting like a diva and driving her crazy and she hates her.

Coming from a very skinny bug eyed frog I am sure that hurts her feelings.

CHALLENGE TIME!

Queen T explains to these poor slobs that these ladies are Queens and it’s time they started treating them that way. Just a reminder the HBIC gets all the power in the house, special perks and gets to nominate 3 dudes to get the axe.

Amber is hoping to win so she can start skimming off these guys who are Team Batshit.

Queen T explains that the guys will be competing while carrying their girl on her very own thrown. Then there will be stops along the way with tasks and then the first to cross the finish line with their Queen makes her the HBIC for the week.

Flea-opatra needs a boob lift.

She looks like she’s doing something else.

That is nasty and gross.

Hope they have a crown big enough for Batshit’s tater.

Once the crown is shoved onto said twits head they have to pick them up again one last time and run for the finish line. But first they have to pick teams. There will be four guys for each girl meaning two guys have to sit out.

In the end Amber picks John, Corey B.,Emilio, Ed

Batshit picks Benz, Jason, Bruno,Ryan the Tatt Boy

Lea picks Cory,Robert,Mathew,Nick

That leaves Ellen and Robert A. not getting picked.

Off we go!

Gee I hope she doesn’t get choked.

Corey B has a new appreciation for Amber’s ability to shove a lot of stuff in her mouth.

I’m sure she’s had much bigger things shoved in there.

At first it looks like Lea is in the lead however she still had grapes in her mouth so Tanisha called her ass back and she lost the lead to Amber.

Run ya bastards RUN!

Next stop is the toenail painting and Amber still holds the lead and Lea manages to pass Batshit. They now have to get to the crowns and then over the finish line.

Haha bitches I won!

Batshit came in third again and is not pleased. Now it’s time for Amber to pick a dude for each of the girls to go on a group date with. She picks Emilio. For Batshit she picks Corey B. and for Lea she picks Ed. Amber’s strategy is that she knows Batshit likes Ed so she gives him to Lea and she gave Batshit Corey B because she knows he would never go for Batshit. I think she may be mistaken.

Tomorrow each girl will get to chose one additional guy to date.

Back at the house Lea is fighting fire with fire and asks Robert R. to come and move his bed into her room. She did it because Batshit told her she liked him. Tatt Boy is not happy about it and thinks “the kid is a tool bag.”

While Robert R. is carrying his bedding upstairs Batshit yells across the pool at him that he is moving next to a girl who is a prude and one who likes girls. Jealous much there Batshit? Batshit continues by saying she thought he liked to have fun and the party is down here. He tells her he will be down there until it’s time to go to sleep and then he won’t have to put up with snoring. Excuse me….lololololololololol!!!!!

Batshit tells us that Robert R. was supposed to like her and he should be fucking her by now. She’s such a gracious loser ain’t she?

That would make this night different how?

Everyone goes outside and starts doing shots. Ellen starts to undress and the girls encourage him to keep going. WHY? He says maybe later. Batshit thinks she and Ellen would make a great couple. She tells everyone she is going to kiss him. Ya know why?………….

And his first equine kiss.

Batshit asks him what if she called his Mom and told her he slept with an ethnic girl and she’s pregnant. Giggles giggles. Ellen tells us that Batshit is beautiful and she is really feeling him. I think she is trying to make sure he’s the target to go home so she can keep the dude she really wants safe.

They peck/kiss out by the pool and everyone is watching. For some reason Ellen is really pissing Bruno off. He tells us his cockiness has surpassed anything he’s ever seen.

Using the word “cock” in any form when referring to Ellen is a bit of a stretch.

Bruno and some of his cohorts (that he has named The Super Smash Brothers) have decided to take him down a notch with a prank.

They poor beer, ranch dressing, ketchup, hot sauce and God only knows what into a bucket and wait for an appropriate time to dump it on him.

While Ellen is bragging to us about being in the prime position and blah blah blah I am starting to see the other guys point. Especially after seeing this…

Just drown his ass.

Oh no, Ellen’s sweater will be ruined!

Instead of acting like a weinie he actually runs after one of the guys and they both end up in the pool.

Ellen isn’t all wuss.

Everyone is laughing except Ellen and Batshit. Batshit threatens that if they are going to be hurting people up in here they will see some shit go down. Batshit tells us that just because Ellen is like the little Carlton does not mean he should get picked on all day long. You mean like you do Amber?

She takes him into the shower to make it all better and they kiss. She brags that as soon as their lips touched he got a hard on.

Dipshit, most guys get a hard on just saying a girls name.

Meanwhile Lea is in the hot tub basically raping Robert R. He’s enjoying it but Tatt Boy is not.

Later Batshit is holding court in the pool room with the guys and she’s dogging Amber. She says she’s a liar, a fake and she was known to be manipulative. Little does she know, the walls have ears.

And little bug eyes.

Batshit keeps making fun of Amber saying she isn’t a Bad Girl anymore and also the Amber Show and basically she looks like a jealous twit.

Amber is pissed but doesn’t confront her.

Tanisha comes in and gathers the girls so that they can pick their 3 guys to join the ones Amber already chose for them. Amber’s date is at the beach while Lea and Batshit get to have their dates at home. Tanisha also announces that three guys will be nominated, but 2 will be going home.

Amber tells Lea this isn’t going to be easy because she can’t think of three guys she even wants to leave. Batshit who has apparently taken her self sabotage pill starts in on Amber and an argument ensues. After listening to about 12 insults Amber calls her an ignorant bitch. For some reason they start arguing about the fact that Amber lied to get on BGC and about their ages. Amber says she’s 25. She asks Batshit how old she is. Batshit deflects by saying “How do we know you are 25?” Amber offers up her I.D. then decides it would be better to look at Batshits I.D. that way they could tell whether she is male or female. Before I could finish laughing my ass off Batshit had jumped across the room and attacked Amber.

That bitch needs a tranquilizer dart.

Seems Batshit can talk shit all day long but she can’t take it. It takes several guys and security to get Batshit off of her and then they still have to hold her down.

That pisses me off.

It didn’t sit too well with most of the other guys either. Ed on the other hand respected Batshit for what she did. He’s dead in my book. I think Lea put it best when she said Batshit is nothing but a Gremlin with a chin. LOL.

Jason and some other guys gather around to talk about what happened. Jason thinks Amber is classy and he doesn’t like drama. Corey B. is supposed to have a date with Batshit but he has decided that’s off. He is completely turned off by what she did.

Ellen however tells Tatt Boy that Batshit is a sweet girl and she’s dealing with a lot of childhood memories or some other horseshit.

Hey Ellen go suck Dr.Phil’s dick!

After collecting herself Amber comes down to talk to the guys and asks “RuPaul isn’t hiding around here anywhere is he?” Hahahahahaa! The guys are very sweet to her. Especially Batshit’s would be date. Amber is feeling a serious connection with him now.

Maybe she will discover dating outside your race isn’t a cardinal sin.

Tanisha comes to have a chat with Tanisha. Tanisha explains to Batshit that Amber won that round. Batshit agrees but then says she got the last hit in. Tanisha just wants to make sure she’s not going try and kill her in her sleep. She claims she can be cordial but not cool with her. Tanisha asks her if she will step up and apologize and Batshit says no. Tanisha calls her a real Bad Girl. For once I disafuckingree with Tanisha. Batshit is a punk bitch.

Batshit walks out to feel out the guys and Corey B. tells her he ain’t going on a date with her. She says that’s fine you can have a girl that lies and is fake….she just cannot shut up.

Batshit decides she won’t be going out with anyone and instead she is staying home to get into the other guys heads. She tells Corey B that she doesn’t want to know anything else about him and as soon as she gets the chance his ass is out.

Time to pick the second dates. Amber picks Emilio and John. She tells him he’s welcome to come naked. Lea picks Tatt Boy and Ed was already picked for her by Amber.

Hell I want to go on that date.

They have lobster and Gucci sunglasses. The whole spread.

Lea’s date however….

Oh well it could be worse. Batshit could show up.

Lea quickly starts asking Ed if he’s there for love and he claims he is because he’s tired of keeping up with 30 girls. It isn’t long before they ask Ed to give them some alone time. Them being Lea and Tatt Boy. Ed thinks maybe they like each other because they both have 13 tattooed on them and they are into the devil. LOLOLOLOL

Batshit continues her Die Amber Die campaign by announcing to anyone who listen that she’s a dumb blonde and blah blah blah.

She makes my head hurt too.

She tells them that America loves a girl who keeps it real. Yeah well that ain’t you because if it was you would have been shit talking to Amber’s face from the start nutjob. Batshit asks if they feel someone was right and someone was wrong. No one says a word. Cut to Robert A. who says she’s gorgeous and they have a connection and blah. He then tells Batshit that she said what she needed to say. Batshit wants more. He tells her he has her flustered.

Back at the beach, Amber asks Emilio if he’s a sexual guy. He says he’s a virgin. Then quickly says he is kidding (he dated Snooki for fucksake) and he says he doesn’t keep track. He also says he’s there to win and not necessarily there for love. John on the other hand doesn’t believe in sleeping around. It’s not his thing. She then tells him he has the best smile of anyone she’s ever seen.

Gotta say I’m kinda crushing on him too.

When she asks if John is there to win hearts he says “Here to win a heart.” That other dude should just leave now. Emilio repeats that he’s there to win because he doesn’t lose. I think you just did dumb ass.

Emilio decides he wants to fly a kite so off he goes while Corey B and Amber walk arm in arm down the beach.

Something tells me kite boy is off Amber’s radar.

Back at the house Lea and Tatt Boy are making out on the lawn.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Time for nominations. First one up…

What a prick.

The first words out of Ellen’s mouth are “Sweetheart you’re a dumbass, You just lost my alliance.” What freakin alliance. He/she was Team Batshit all the way. I hate him which means he will stay.

Sour Puss.

Please don’t make me leave.

Once inside the Elimination Room, Tanisha wastes no time getting down to business. Even though as we know, Amber got to make the nominations, it’s up to Lea and Batshit which 2 go home. Since all these are Batshit’s guys she isn’t happy. Tanisha asks Ed if he has anything to say. Yes he does. He says that when he was playing the comp for Amber he went balls out and helped her get HBIC. He adds that he doesn’t respect a girl who is fake.

Next up is Ellen. Ellen basically word fucks Batshit, tells Lea he barely knows her but would like to change that. He has nada to say to Amber.

Robert is pissed and says he has no clue why he’s there. He mumbles some shit about it being a game and Tanisha tells him that yes it is and Amber played it right because not one of these dudes is up there for her. Robert reminds them that when Batshit jumped Amber, he jumped in to save her.

Tanisha reminds Lea and Batshit that they have to agree which dude to save. They yammer back and forth and Lea, of all people decides that because Batshit and this dude have a connection, she will save Ellen. WHAT? Where the fuck is mean ass game player Lea from last week?

Shock of all shockers, Batshit agrees that she too wants to save Ellen. That means Robert and Ed go bye bye.

 

Me too.

Until next week,

Love & Smooches,

Cherie