Hello there folks. It’s time to find out which Bad Girl will win and which dude she picks and then breaks up with right after the show. Let’s get started.
Cheerful ain’t they?
Tanisha congratulates the girls on being the last two. She then tells them to use their time wisely and get those guys on their side because tomorrow another Bad Girl will be leaving. Lea tells us she knows she’s going to win. Chinzilla of course thinks she will.
Cut to Ellen in bed with Chinzilla.
Good then I won’t have to watch the rest of the show.
Chinzilla tells us that Ellen is a sweet southern boy and Benz is a sexy piece of ass. She thinks Nick needs to man up because no one knows what he’s thinking and she needs his vote.
Over to Lea and Robert. Robert tells us that Benz is the x factor and if Chinzilla gets him to climb into her web it could mean bad things for him. He also says if that happens that “Clown show Taylor will go by the wayside” and she would choose Benz.
Over to Chinzilla and Corey. Chinzilla wants to suck up to him to get him on her side.
She looks like something the dog dragged around the back yard.
Corey tells us that Chinzilla claims to have feelings for him but he doesn’t know if she’s genuine. Let me clear that up for you. SHE ISN’T. He says his heart is with Amber but since she’s gone it’s time to play the game and see if he can win. Has he seen the prizes?
Chinzilla tells Corey that the next two days should be about them and he shouldn’t waste 2 seconds trying to figure out Lea. If he wants to rock and roll she’s all in. Gag.
Back to Benz and Lea. Benz wants to know what Lea is thinking.
She tells him duh, you were strapped to a lie detector test and you said you could see yourself with Chinzilla. He tells her that she knows he likes both of them. Honesty on a reality show? WHY? Lea tells him that she felt a connection with him from the start but she also thinks he’s a risky bet. He agrees that he is. And that she is too and if she isn’t all in he’s not gonna be all in. And..he’s torn. Shut up already.
Over to Ellen and Chinzilla. She tells Ellen that’s she’s nervous with him.
Put some make up on! And brush your fangs!
Ellen is all “Out of all the guys in this house you are nervous with me? That’s cute.” No it’s not. It’s called strategy. She tells him it’s because she actually cares about him and likes him a lot. He tells her he doesn’t want to look like a fool and she says she isn’t doing that. He reminds her about her kissing Corey and Benz and asks her if she thinks he is stupid.
Ellen tells us that he’s a little worried about Chinzilla and what she’s done on the show because it could be a precursor of how it’s going to be to be in a relationship with her. Hahahahaha oh Ellen you crack me up.
Chinzilla continues to play Ellen.
And you almost sucked his tongue out of his head.
She also claims she did not kiss him back. He argues that a kiss is a kiss and she tells him to kiss her now. He says no because it would be like kissing Benz. She grabs him and kisses him. He then tells us that she might be using him. Might be? Bless his heart.
Benz meanwhile goes to Nick and asks him what he should do. Uh grow some balls and make a decision on your own. I used to like him so much but damn he’s starting to bug me. He goes over again about how Amber is his heart and that Lea is like a good friend and he and Chinzilla have a love/hate type thing. Cut to past episodes of their fighting and kissing.
Over to Robert and Lea again. I’m getting sea sick. Lea asks him what he’s thinking and he asks her what she’s thinking and tells her she knows what he’s thinking. Ya know what I’m thinking? GET ON WITH THE SHOW!
He tells her she needs to take a leap of faith like he has. He wants her to show that she’s there for him. He says that if she’s more attracted to Benz to tell him to his face and that if she’s more attracted to him that she should tell Benz. Does he realize he is on a show? She tells him she needs to finish getting ready and kisses him goodbye.
She’s torn y’all.
Lea goes back to Benz and asks him if it were she and Chinzilla were standing next to each other and said “Benz, pick. Which one would you pick?” He gets all squirmy and asks her why she’s asking this now. He tells her that at this time he’s got to keep some things to himself and to stop picking his brain.
Meanwhile Chinzilla is holding court with the other guys and tells them she’s worried her dress is too slutty. Oh please stop with the innocent act you skanky ass hairball.
Uh oh Tanisha has arrived!
It’s time to pick a bitch yo.
Off to the great room everyone goes. Tanisha congratulates the final five guys for making it this far. She tells them there will be no more challenges. It’s time for another Bad Girl to go home.
It’s like choosing which turd you like best.
Tanisha let’s Chinzilla grovel first. She looks at the ceiling and tells Robert she had a lot of fun with him. She did? When? She tells him she didn’t get to know his affectionate side but there is definitely a connection there. She tells us she’s saying whatever she has to because she knows he’s Team Lea.
Don’t puke now, wait until you are in bed with Lea.
Lea tells Robert he’s a great dude and she has a strong connection with him. She turns to Nick and says, where the hell did you come from Nick. They have so much in common but she wishes he had told her he was attracted to her because everything she likes he does too.
Chinzilla tells Nick that she truly cares a lot about him. Have they ever spoken? She then tells him he’s a sweetheart and his parents raised him extremely well. WTF?
Nothing spells hot sex like good parental raising!
Chinzilla goes to Corey next and tells him they had their ups and downs and she has said some mean things to him and he’s done mean things to her. Cut to all the mean shit that went down. She tells him she tried so hard with him. Cut to the tent scene where she told him him he could “put it anywhere.” She says she thinks there’s something special there.
It’s special alright.
By they way, when Chinzilla is talking to these guys she looks every where but at them until the final couple of words. And she’s nervous acting. Could she really be having a hard time lying to them? Nah.
Meanwhile Lea looks directly at them and she tells Corey, who she calls Dimples, that he’s not there for her and he’s not there for Chinzilla. She tells him he has genuine feelings for Amber and she respects that.
Over to Taylor Lea goes. She tells him he’s in love with Chinzilla. She also says he hasn’t flip flopped once in this whole thing and she appreciates that.
Gee I wonder who he chooses?
Chinzilla tells Ellen, while looking at the floor, that she loves everything about him from his looks to his accent. It was love at first sight. Cut to pictures of their love. She tells him, and tries to make her voice all cracked and emotional, that no matter what that connection will always be there.
She tells us that she wanted to keep it short and sweet so that the other guys don’t think she’s only there for Ellen.
Chinzilla gets to Benz and giggles. And looks at the ceiling. She tells him she thinks he knows how to handle a girl like her. Cut to pictures of him handling her. She also says he’s been a shoulder for her to cry on and he never turned his back on her. Benz tells us that he believes she was genuine.
Just as genuine as her weave.
Lea tells Benz that the moment they walked into the house they hit it off. She says she saw him right away and decided he was the one. Cut to, you guessed it, kissing and crap. She says they get each other but they had their ups and downs. Cut to them fighting. She tells him she thinks he knows what’s real and it’s been one hell of a ride.
Tanisha tells the guys it’s time to choose which girl played the game the best. The girl with the least votes will go home as well as the guys who voted for her.
Robert is up first and he’s with Lea all the way. Ellen chooses Chinzilla and tells her they have a connection that no one understands. You got that right. Tanisha tries not to crack up.
Poor lil fella.
Nick’s turn. He tells us he’s stayed under the radar. No shit I barely remembered your name. He tells Chinzilla she’s very assertive and they understand each other and he appreciates her and they’ve kept it real. Tanisha is getting irritated. So am I. He then turns to Lea and says they have had their moments, they have a lot in common, they’ve related to each other (Jesus pick a hole and shut up you long winded bastard) and he says “We, you and me Lea. We could go on a road trip with me and yourself, Jim, Johnny and Jack, (Holy shit I wish Tanisha would pop off on his ass) five friends deep we’d come back with only two of us.” WHAT?
Just as Tanisha looks like she’s gonna lose it he chooses Lea. Chinzilla is not happy.
Corey is up and he tells Lea they are H4L. Homies for life. Blah blah blah he tells Chinzilla a bunch of crap and says his heart left with Amber but he goes and chooses Chinzilla. This pisses Lea off because Chinzilla was Amber’s enemy.
Looks like Chinzilla needs to pee.
It all comes down to Benz. He tells us he doesn’t want to choose because both of these girls have a piece of his heart. Cut to Benz and the pieces he gave to both girls.
Finally after a lot of mumbling, he walks over to Lea and she hugs him. He has his hands in his pocket.
Way to commit there Benz.
Benz tells us that he was letting Chinzilla know that she was too busy breast feeding Ellen to get to know him.
I almost feel bad for her…..tee hee.
Tanisha gets all choked up and tells Chinzilla her Love Game is over.
Don’t cry. Much like herpes, she never truly goes away.
Lea tells us Chinzilla didn’t play her cards right. No shit. Chinzilla says she may not have won this competition but at least she got to show these girls what a Bad Girl is really like.
Apparently in your case, a Bad Girl is a LOSER!
Because Ellen and Corey chose Chinzilla, they too are sent home.
Good luck packing up those sweaters.
Lea is the last Bad Girl standing. Now she has to choose one of the three that chose her to go home.
See ya Nick.
Lea tells the guys it’s been one hell of a fucking ride. She then tells Nick he’s a day late and a dollar short.
Wow they look thrilled.
Tanisha tells them that she has rented a beach house at Hermosa Beach and the two guys will take turns going there to spend a night and afternoon with Lea. At the end of the two dates they will come back here and Lea will chose her dude and they get sent to Cancun with loads of cash!
Robert gets the first date. Off they go leaving Benz all alone.
That’s right. Booze it up so you don’t have to think about Robert plowing your woman.
Benz was pissed that Robert got the first date but then realized that the last impression could be the best. See the booze is working already.
Next we see Lea and Robert arriving at the beach house in the biggest vehicle I’ve ever seen to carry just two people.
Really Oxygen? FOR TWO PEOPLE?
It’s so long I can’t get it in one shot.
The beach house is beautiful and these two arrive to find a note that tells them to put their robes on and go to the roof for a sunset massage.
Back at the house poor Benz is wondering what they are doing. He wanders around the house looking all sad and then drunkenly tells us that he and Lea are going to be together……
Uh oh someone is sloshed.
Later Lea and Robert are having a candle light dinner and giggling like fools. Lea tells Robert that she knew she liked him when she noticed she would look for him in a room to see where he was and if he was in the same room she was drawn to him.
Look there’s two balls on fire. And the candles are nice too.
Robert says he realized that he liked her when he never allowed himself to get jealous and then he goes and asks her where her head’s at. What she’s thinking about Benz. This displeases Lea and she asks him if he really wants to talk about that now. He says yes. She squirms and smiles and finally admits she has feelings for Benz BUT she likes Robert a lot.
She then starts to ask questions. She tells him he just graduated college and he’s 21. Has he ever been in love? He says he doesn’t think so. She asks why? He says because he’s still only 21. She wants to know why he can’t emotionally connect with women since he has been in relationships. He tells her he just hasn’t found the right girl to connect with and he didn’t want to force it.
Good answer. Someone’s getting laid tonight.
He goes on to say he is not saying she’s the right girl but right now she’s the right girl. He’s physically attracted to her, emotionally attracted, he laughs when he’s with her. That’s all she needed to hear and asks him if he wants dessert. They go over to eat some strawberries but end up doing this.
I bet they play Scrabble instead.
They head over to the bed for lots more groping and kissing and then we see candles being blown out and then this.
I’m surprised they didn’t show a train going into a tunnel.
The next morning Lea is all giggles and tells Robert she has to kick him out and says “Nice meeting you. What’s your name again?” More giggles. And kissing.
Eewwwwwww morning breath!
Lea tells us that she had an amazing time with Robert and their connection is even stronger now. Robert tells her to keep their night in her mind even though she will be spending the night with someone else tonight.
He tells us he feels confident and that he thinks he closed the deal but once he’s been alone for 24 hours we’ll have to see how his attitude changes.
Lea kisses him goodbye outside and tells him to be good and tells her “You too. I mean it. Be good.” Off to the giant vehicle he goes.
Later as Lea is waiting for Benz to arrive at their gondola ride, she tells us she is obviously attracted to Robert but it’s really nice to see Benz and if she said she didn’t miss him she’d be lying.
Don’t yellow roses mean goodbye?
They play kissy face and then hop into a gondola. Lea is acting like a school girl.
Sure you are.
Benz asks her why and she says he makes her nervous and they kiss some more. Benz asks her if she’s surprised it’s the two of them at the end. She says yes and no. Yes because she thought he would pick Chinzilla. He asks why and she says because right before eliminations he was spending a lot of quality time with her. Benz tells her he had to make her jealous too.She says “Fuck you”.
Benz tells us that even when they are fighting he just wants to pick her up and have passionate love because he knows it’s all just sexual frustration.
After the gondola ride they go out for dinner. Lea asks Benz if there is anything about him that she doesn’t know that she should?
He’s a serial killer.
He tells her he’s been hurt before and that’s why he was testing her. She asks “How so?”
Benz tells her “the whole jealousy thing. Trying to see if you would get jealous.” Things are not going well because that just pissed her off. She tells him that this is a game and that her best interest would have been to go out with all the guys to make them Team Lea but she didn’t do that. She chose him. He leans in and tells her he doesn’t want to fight anymore. He tells her if she wants him he’s there and they kiss again.
Back to the house they go giggling all the way. Once there they have more wine and Lea asks him if he thinks they could really work. He tells her he has a lot of fun with her. That she takes him away from all his worries. More kissing.
Lea then asks him why he thinks he’s better for her than Robert. His exact words are….”I don’t know Lea. I mean. Am I?” Lea tells him she just wants to know that she’s making the right decision and she wants to know why. He says “If it was me I would say, I would say choose Rob.”
Ever have one of those moments you wish you could take back?
Lea wants to know why that is. She tells him to please elaborate. She’s using big words. That’s not good.
He tells her that when Rob was faced with elimination he was still just there for her and he was just playing the game. Lea asks him why he’s even there if he feels she should pick someone else. He doesn’t answer and she gets more pissed. She tells him she feels like she has wasted her time and an opportunity to get to know someone else that wants to be with her.
Reverse psychology can sometimes blow up in your face dumb ass.
She is really pissed now and says if he were to ask her why she’s better for him than Chinzilla she would tell him why. Not “I think you should pick Natalie.” She continues,”What the fuck is that? It doesn’t even make sense.”
She tells him she feels like an idiot. Like an asshole. Because she sent home people who genuinely want to be with Lea and he doesn’t. He tries to touch her and she throws his hand off. He’s saying no but she’s at that palm slapping stage and he’s screwed. She tells him he doesn’t give a fuck about her and he rolls his eyes. She gets up saying she needs some minutes.
Lea goes upstairs and tells us that she doesn’t know if they can make up this time.
Lea comes back into the room and says Benz. Cut to scenes of Robert getting ready for the elimination ceremony. He tells us he’s starting to get nervous.
Suddenly we are at the ceremony and Rob is up first.
Can you hear his knees shaking?
Lea tells him she had the most amazing time with him. That when she’s with him it’s natural and easy. Then she says but. She questions whether or not he is ready to be in a serious relationship. She doesn’t know if he’s ready to be with someone like her. She tells him that last night she had an amazing (does she know another word?) time with Benz. It was perfect. Then she says “But, we started to talk about you and things didn’t end so right.”
Cut to the night before when Lea came back into the room and said “Benz. You need to go.” He asks why and she shouts “Why is not relevant. You need to go”. The screaming starts and if he’s ever seen her in action before he should know she will shout his ass down. And she does by telling him to, “Shut the fuck up when I’m motherfucking speaking!”
He says “Yeah alright.” Out the door he goes with his little suitcase. Lea blows out all the candles and shakes the rose petals off the bed.
Back to the ceremony and Lea telling Rob that she kicked Benz out. That she picked him because she really likes him a lot. She wants to spend time with him and meet his family. She wants to go to his home town and she wants to be with him. She says she doesn’t know if he feels the same but….and he tells her she knows the answer to that and they kiss.
Crap they are actually cute together.
Out comes Tanisha to tell them Congratulations they are the winners of Love Games! They have won a romantic all inclusive trip to Cancun and as I said before a boat load of cash.
They keep on kissing and she tells them “Damn save some for Mexico!”
Oh Tanisha I will miss you. There ya have it folks. Your Love Games winners are Lea and Robert! How long do you think they’ll last?
Love and Smooches,