The tears were flowing like the River Jordan this week on Making the Band 3 as our favorite gerbil, Aundrea, reeled from news that her boyfriend Rudy no likey her anymore. It was a tough time for her, albeit quite predictable. We knew their much celebrated union would inevitably come to an end, especially after last week’s series of uneventful and loveless phone calls. But who knew it would hurt so much??? Ah, the pain of young love coming to an end. It’s something that no Diddy or Boom-Cat can ever safeguard against. But would the band survive this emotional crisis? Would they pull together to create something harmonious and beautiful??? Take a wild guess…This week’s show brought us back to dreary old NYC, which seemed somewhat bland and boring after a few weeks of splashy, sunny South Beach. Diddy — in his one fleeting appearance this week — told us that normally new bands work only with up and coming producers. But lo! This band is working with Diddy, y’hear! And Diddy has lots and lots of friends. And Diddy’s gonna introduce his girls to his friends! And then they’re all gonna hang out and stuff. And everyone’s gonna become besties until Ma$e shows up and things get awkward and people are like “Who invited him?” and then everyone leaves all disgusted. Okay, Diddy didn’t take it that far, but this was essentially his brag-tastic way of introducing us to Rodney Jerkin, another super producer who thankfully looked less ridiculous than Scott Storch.
Dawn was totally enamored with Rodney, saying, “He’s like the ice in the glass that melts slowly.” Funny, I was gonna suggest “The carbon dioxide that sublimates at a leisurely pace.”
Anyway, Rodney had the girls all sing the lyrics to their new song (written in convenient 24 point font size). After they’d gone through the song a few times, he then asked them who they thought would be the natural leader for the song, and everyone said Aundrea (with a few minor suggestions for D. Woods). Well, if it was Aundrea they wanted, it was Aundrea they got! She stepped into the booth and began singing the lead vocals, but oh no! She needed more energy! We knew this wasn’t too much of a big deal because her struggles weren’t accented with the usual End Of The World BOOOOMS that are typically reserved for Aubrey’s tone-deaf ass. Nevertheless, Aundrea certainly was having problems, and I couldn’t help wondering if maybe — just maybe — she was distracted by personal issues with her boyfriend. Hmmmm…
Sad showbiz reality: this might be the last time we see that nose.
Luckily, Aundrea hit the note she was trying to get, prompting everyone to tell us how strong she was and blah blah blah. Back at the apartment and fresh from a successful day of recording, Gerbilina then called up Rudy, but he didn’t really have time to talk. He was ridin’ in the car with Rob, whoever that was. They were apparently going to a bar, and Rudy noted, “Thankfully I’m not driving though.” THANKFULLY INDEED! Wouldn’t want anything to happen to precious Rudy!
Just like last week, Aundrea wanted to just have five minutes of Rudy’s time, but bitch didn’t realize that he had very important obligations to tend to; namely, laughing at inaudible jokes with his friends. He then asked Aundrea, “So you won’t be home for like at least like another month or something?” Translation: I can still hook up with other chicks in the meantime, right?
When Aundrea asked why he was asking about when she’d be back, Rudy informed her that he was planning a trip to Vegas. How about New York instead, she asked him. NEGATORY! Don’t even try it, sister. Rudy is going to Vegas and that’s that!
“You don’t have any reason to come out here?” Aundrea then asked. I half expected her to add, “Hint hint, motherfucker!” But alas, Rudy merely replied with a “Nah. Not really. Not right now.” Gosh, Aundrea. HE HATES YOU!
Of course, Rudy shunning Aundrea like this was idiotic for many reasons, especially since he was pursuing a career in the music industry. Would it make sense for him to drop by in New York and possibly meet some of these giant super-producers? Apparently not. Well, the next day, Aundrea vented about the situation to Shannon, saying that Rudy was not supportive of her decisions and all that junk. Shannon gave some smiling, general advice, and Aundrea left the conversation thinking that there still might be a future for her and Rudy. Ha. Good luck with that.
The next day, the girls headed over to the rehearsal space where they met up with a cool cat named Rob Lewis. He was gonna help the ladies perform their songs live. Fantabulous. We learned that he’s worked with the likes of Christina Aguilera, Babyface, and blah blah blah yawn yawn yawn. Anyway, the girls all stood around a piano and sang that ballad they were working on a week or two ago. Aundrea absolutely loved the song because it was all about stickin’ together in a relationship, even through the hard times. Of course, she had the deluded notion that her relationship would stick through the hard times, which it clearly wouldn’t be. Case in point: the next day, Aundrea called up Rudy, and with morbid music playing in the background, we listened as she reached the dreaded voicemail of doom. Cut to me raising my arms to the heavens and yelling, “NOOOOOOO!!!!”
Well, since reaching Rudy’s voicemail is tantamount to learning about the Holocaust ALL OVER AGAIN, Aundrea was massively upset and went into that day’s rehearsal super distracted. She could barely even participate with the vocal warmups. Oh, and let’s talk about those vocal warmups. If I have to hear “Oooh aaay eee aaaaay eee iiii oooooh” one more time, I’m gonna do something violent. It was like listening to the R&B version of “Old McDonald.”
Anyway, on account of her generally sad state, Aundrea was totally messing up, causing an angry D. Woods to bust out her inner-Wanita and scold, “Nobody is fully committing to the exercise!” Man, if only Denosh were around to whip everyone in shape. Luckily, the girls got their act together, and we could finally move on. Flash forward to the next morning, and we found Aundrea on the phone with Rudy. Yes, somehow she had avoided his voicemail, but that didn’t mean things were looking up. Quite the contrary. Douchebag Rudy asked her, “Why didn’t you call me last night?” Well, Needy McNeederson, I’m not sure what the timeline of this show is due to all the editing and such, but if there’s anything we know, it’s that Aundrea has tried to call you many times, and when she’s connected, you’ve blown her off. So don’t be bringing that attitude around Diddy’s girls!
Nevertheless, Rudy scoffed, “I’m sick of it… of everything… I’m sick of not getting the phone calls from you at night.” But she DOES call you! Hey, maybe you’re not hearing your phone ringing on account of watching internet porn with your headphones on. Oh SNAP! I just put you on blast, Rudy!
Well, Rudy became extremely high maintenance and needy, saying that because Aundrea didn’t call him every thirty minutes that he’s now seen her true colors. He then had the balls to say that she wasn’t putting in the effort, ultimately concluding, “You’re 100% foam.” Huh? Foam? Or did he say “phony” and I just didn’t hear it right. I swear, it sounded like “Foam.” Well, Rudy. She may be foam, but you’re… bubble wrap! Take that!
Eventually, Rudy called it quits, officially dumping her on the phone. This made poor Gerbilina cry, and she ran off to her bed to bury her face in the pillows and bawl. Well, have a wonderful morning!
After the commercial break, D. Woods told all the other girls what had gone down. This kick-started a roundtable discussion about what a jerk Rudy was, with Aubrey noting that “he’s always been selfish.” The girls then agreed that Aundrea was just too good for Rudy, saying that he was very, very stupid. I wouldn’t disagree. Aundrea eventually wandered into the room where the girls all consoled her and made her feel better. D. Woods commented, “He just let go of a very good piece of stock. You’re on your way up.” True, but I get the feeling that Rudy’s the sort of guy who’d be happier to say he dumped the girl on her way up rather than join her for the ride. Of course, this all assumes that the girls from Making the Band really are on the way up, and the jury’s still out on that.
Later that evening, Rob Lewis dropped by to alert them that they’d be performing at the Village Underground. And just what was the Village Underground? “This is where all the sangers come out. Not the singers. The sangers,” D. Woods inferrmed us. Not informed. Inferrmed.
Well, the gang headed out to the club where Rob made the longest introduction EVER, and before we knew it, the girls were up there on the stage, singing their ballad. They looked pretty good with the exception of Aubrey who appeared to be wearing a giant gumdrop for a dress.
Nevertheless, the crowd liked the song, especially one dude who possibly had the largest smile on all the Eastern seaboard. The performance went off without a hitch; although, it was severely lacking too many BOOMCATs for my taste.
“This is only my half-smile.”
With applause ringing in her ear, Aundrea told us that if someone wasn’t going to be supportive of her career, then she shouldn’t be with that person anyway. Right on, girlfriend! “There’ll be someone else for me!” she then said with an optimistic squeak. I don’t know who Aundrea will wind up with, but I just had the horrific image of her with Aaron Carter, and now I must go somewhere to vomit. Please, pop culture gods, don’t let it happen.
What did you think of this week’s show?