The cliffhanger from last week’s Making the Band was whether or not Danity Kane would give it another try. I have a feeling that this will be the cliffhanger at the end of every episode for the rest of this season and for many seasons to come.
Day26 is back in New York, where cars drive on the right side of the street and fire alarms are far less polite, to make their second album. But before heading to the studio, they all go to dinner together and partake in a little self-congratulatory convo. Will sings a bit of the song “Since You Been Gone.” Not to be confused with Kelly Clarkson’s hit “Since U Been Gone.” They are subtly different in that one sucks and one is awesome. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which one is which, but I don’t think this mini pop quiz is very difficult for anyone who has a bit of an ear and a part of a brain.
Our guys talk about how “Since You Been Gone” is everyone’s favorite song and really defined Day26 as a band. You can truly tell that they all believe this song is nectar to our ears. Sorry, that metaphor is kinda gross and sticky, but I really don’t feel like backspacing over it, so we’ll all just have to deal. Will says their next album should be a club album, and Robert interjects that he just wants to talk about sex and make some “babymakers.” HA! Perhaps something is wrong with me, but this Robert character is really starting to grow on me. But maybe that’s because in most of his testimonials on this episode, he is wearing an awesome fur hunting cap. It seems like wearing a fur hat while hunting could be a bit of a gamble, lest Robert be mistaken for a very delicious rabbit. But Robert has always been one of roll the dice, so I’m down.
From dinner, our guys head straight to the studio to meet with music producer Bryan Cox. I know we’ve met him before, but I can’t quite put my finger on the situation. Man, don’t you all just love meeting people with the last name Cox? There are SO many of them! I actually have a close friend with the last name “Coxhead.” HOW UNFORTUNATE! Even worse, in college, I knew someone with the name “Robin Peters,” I kid you not. How these people ever make it through junior high unscathed, I will never understand.
So Mr. Cox thinks the next Day26 album should be more in-depth, more personal, more about defining the sound. The guys all perk up and seem somewhat excited. Bryan plays a song called “Stadium Music,” and they all love it. It’s very upbeat and clubby. Then he plays another song called “So Good.” It sounds pretty much the same to me. Brian actually gets up and dances. And I, for one, have NEVER seen Brian move this much! I worry that he might pop a vein from all of this excitement. Usually we see him bored and sleeping, so I hope they have a heart monitor nearby, so the poor dude doesn’t accidentally off himself from too much movement. Someone get the defibrillator!
Time for our “Breaking News” segment. Diddy just wants to plug “Making His Band.” Snooze. He says that he’ll be visiting L.A., Chicago, Detroit and NYC to find musicians for his tour. If any of you audition for this, then I MUST be the first to know immediately!
Vegas is somewhat of a hospice for careers. Musicians can go there and allow their careers to die a slow, humane death. And then there’s Brillo.
Oh man, are you all ready for some MAJOR embarrassment!? Brillo is in Vegas, working as the opening act for the BACKSTREET BOYS. Oy. I used to massively heart the BSB, but I’m pretty sure they are dead. And when you are the OPENER for a dead band, then you are doubly dead, dude. This is just not a good sign. Poor Brills tells us that he’s been working his hardest but just doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere. He even solicits unsuspecting girls at the pool just to try to find some new fans. The girls giggle from embarrassment and seem largely uninterested. Like most girls by the pool in Vegas, they just want to get back to their daiquiris and trashy gossip mags.
Brillo seems totally down and tells us that his career is at the tipping point. He is either about to tip into major success or tip the other direction and be dropped from Bad Boy. We see him perform on stage at the Palm’s and he just kinda…ya know…takes his shirt off. No ripping. No energy. Just…ya know…kinda taking it off like you would after a long, tiring day of work. It is just PLAIN SAD. Boy’s got nothin’ left to give. I laugh and I cry. It’s better than “Cats!”
“Um, yeah. Here’s my shirt. I guess.”
Backstage, a couple fans want to meet our handsome Brills! And it’s really sweet. No wait. It’s just HORRIBLY awkward. The first girl comes back and isn’t received very cheerfully. She doesn’t quite know what to do with herself, and Brillo admits that he has no posters or anything to give her. And then a very small and fragile lady named Kristen comes back stage. She looks like she might have early-onset osteoporosis or a rare form of scoliosis, and she REALLY gives the Brillo a verbal punch in the nuts. First, she says she’s never heard of him! And then! THEN! She asks if his album is even OUT yet! BOOM! Now that’s what I call a one-two punch! Hilarious, too, because you KNOW normally backstage visitors are sent back to give the star a blowjob or something. And this girl just did the EXACT opposite.
“Hi! Diddy sent me here to make you feel like crap!”
Brillo sheepishly says that, yes, his album has been on the stands for awhile. Kristen perkily says that she plans to buy it. Of course, it would be handy — and would make sense — if they had albums backstage to sell, but they do not. So Kristen just kinda lingers for a minute and then exits Stage Left. Brillo looks at his ragtag team of sidekicks and mentions how awkward it was to meet his backstage visitors. They all nervously laugh because that is what they get paid to do.
Brillo hasn’t hit it big yet, but he already gets to have a pet lion backstage.
Back in New York, Dawn and Que are out on a date. Dawn says that she’s the only DK member in NYC for Diddy’s meeting, so it’s not looking good. She tells Que that Shannon still isn’t returning calls, and she doesn’t know what’s going on with Aundrea. Que says that she should find two new members who appreciate Danity Kane instead of waiting around. Dawn says that she wants to be a member of DK, and it’s not fair to people who have dreams. Yes, Danity Kane MUST work things out! Otherwise, it will be to the detriment of dreams everywhere! And the entire world of Fantasia will be swallowed by The Nothing.
Meanwhile, Que’s pants give me a full-on gag reflex.
Up in her hotel room, Dawn is literally sitting by the phone, doing nothing. We see an SUV pulls up outside. A-ha! Aundrea has arrived. Aundrea tells us that she’s done crying and ready to get back to work. She heads upstairs to surprise Dawn.
Dawn is so ecstatic that the world turns to black and white. It’s like the “Wizard of Oz,” only in reverse.
Aundrea tells Dawn that she’s been going nuts and wants to get back to work. Dawn says that she thinks Diddy thought the four of them would move on, and he didn’t expect it to fall apart. She doesn’t understand how they got so lost, and Aundrea thinks they took it all for granted. (p.s. I really don’t see how Diddy couldn’t expect them to fall apart? Didn’t he break them up? Wasn’t them falling apart kinda the point?)
We go across town to Day26 who is still working in the studio when Diddy arrives. And he has come bearing gifts! The gift of…..his new fragrance. Wow, are you guys serious? I am SO not plugging his shitty cologne. This is just getting shameless. By the way Diddy talks about his cologne, you’d think it was made from the tears of an angel. Luckily, I do not have scratch’n'sniff tv. Diddy then listens to the music that the guys have recorded. He loves it but still wants them to do it all over again.
And THIS is what we see for the establishing shot when heading to a commercial break…
Brillo is back to New York and heading to his favorite diner. What is WITH this boy and diners? It’s the Moon Over My Hammy, isn’t it? Well, tragically, we don’t get to see his Mamarillo this time because he’s meeting Aundrea. Brillo tells her that he had to meet with Diddy and it went badly. He feels like his career is slipping away. Aundrea stares at him for a minute and then orders the Texas omelet. Aundrea says that she hasn’t talked to anyone and is fed up with the drama. I suddenly realize that she looks a little chunky. She really needs to tuck that double-chin into her shirt. I do love our little muff, but I’m not gon’ lie to ya and say she looks the same.
Emotional eating, mayhaps?
UGH! Another Breaking News segment. These used to be funny, but now they are just over-saturating our the timeslot. Diddy says something really dumb about taking responsibility for yourself. And how Bad Boy doesn’t babysit. All right, whatever, let’s just move on, okay?
Aundrea and Dawn are headed to meet Diddy. Finally! We get to see something juicy! Creepily, the meeting is held in the same room and at the same table where they all broke up. Dawn says that Danity Kane was born in that room, died in the room and now will be transformed in the room. Danity Kane IS Jesus. She says they should put Diddy in a blonde wig and glitter and force him to perform as Shannon. They laugh. And then decided that it’s not appropriate to laugh. Then they laugh. And then frown. And then pretend like they are sad. And then laugh some more.
Diddy enters, smiling, and dishing out fake hugs. He pretty much blames them for the dissolving of the group and demands that they fix it. He even says that THEY put HIM in a bad situation! Dawn and Aundrea claim that they want to work but they can’t make the other girls cooperate. Dawn says she’s talked to all of the other girls and says that D. Woods feels like she was fired. Well, I, for one, can see where D. Woods is coming from. When Diddy looked her straight in the eye and said, “You’re not in the group no more,” that left very little room for interpretation. But now Diddy is second guessing his decision. And instead of owning up to his mistake, he’d rather blame everyone else for it. Hey, didn’t we just watch a “Breaking News” segment about taking responsibility….ironic, eh?
He tells the girls that no one is out of their contracts. But they need to go find Shannon…
…And that is exactly what they do. Next week, Aundrea and Dawn head to San Francisco to drag Shannon back to New York.
Whoa! So what IS going on, Gasmii?! Has Diddy officially LOST IT!? And do you think Shannon will come back? Do you blame D.Woods for thinking she was fired? Do tell!
See you Thursday,