The title for this recap has absolutely nothing to do with this week’s episode of Making the Band. I just think Brillo’s name is funny. Donnie KLANG. KLANG?! That’s awesome! Also, my apologies for the lateness of this recap. I had to spend the week at a little convention in Denver.
Yeah, D.Woods knows where I was at!We open this week’s episode staring at Diddy’s chest. He’s wearing a t-shirt that says “I am the Black American Dream,” and I guess he wants to be extra sure that we see it. I wonder if he’s going to lift up his shirt and show us his “fat” again, but he only wants to remind us that Brillo’s album is in stores September 2. Are any of you going to go buy it? Hold that thought because now it’s time for one of Diddy’s famous family meetings to see what the groups have prepared. Historically, this is where we watch our favorite little musicians get so nervous in front of Diddy that they practically pee themselves and then Dids tells them that they all suck. Oh joy!
Now we’re in the studio with Danity Kane, practicing their new song. The girls are sexily writhing around and talking about Mabelline again. We watch them dance FOREVER. I watched it for awhile and then went back to folding clothes. Aundrea tells us that they know each other well enough now that choreography has become easy. Yeah, that’s right, last season we learned that they were Veterans of the Music Industry. Blah blah blah.
Shannon helps Aundrea with some moves, and it ends with Shannon doing a shocking middle split, lying on the floor. Gil, the choreographer, says that they are definitely ready. As we have learned in the past, this hyper-focus on Aundrea is probably foreshadowing that she will make an ass of herself in front of The Man, but who knows? Perhaps MTV has since found a new formula. Eh…probably not.
Choreographer Gil is ENTHRALLED!
Brillo is also working on his moves, which are much less complex and yet still quite the struggle. Basically, he’s just learning how to fancily walk around the stage. I didn’t even realize that performers learned how to WALK. I figured they just kinda moved to the music however they felt inclined. Brillo’s choreographer says that there’s no more to learn. They’ll just practice a couple more times and then should be ready to show Diddy.
In yet another studio, Day26 is busily working away with Boomcat. Things are moving along okay until Mike’s leg hits Robert’s leg. Gasp! This blatant intrusion is enough to make Robert completely unable to focus, and he has to stop dancing altogether to point out how he was wronged. Will tells us that with all of them learning the moves, they are bouncing around, bumping into each other, and it’s not looking good. It looks so bad that Boomcat screams, “WHAT IS GOING ON?!” She tells them that just because they miss a step, she should still see some effervescence. They only have two weeks, and they look totally dead inside. But are we surprised? I have yet to really see a spark of life in any of these guys.
“We call this little number ‘Just Milling Around.’”
Uh oh! Time for “Diddy’s Fit Club!” It’s our very first installment, and I’m anxious to see how it turns out. Oh no, he’s eating pizza. This isn’t a good sign for his “gut.” I put that in quotes because he is SO not fat. It’s really funny because Diddy looks surprised to see us and embarrassed to be eating pizza. He says that he’s been having some complications because he gained two pounds while his mission is to lose 12. He says that he’s needs our help. If we see him, and he’s eating carbs, then we needs to stop him. I accept this mission. Also, isn’t Diddy getting funnier by the season? I used to think he was kind of an arrogant little fucker, but now I just view him as a comic genius. Now I realize that before I just wasn’t in on the joke.
Eek! This is a flashback to my 3 a.m. last night! Okay…my 3 a.m. every night…
But now it’s time to get serious because it’s FAMILY MEETING TIME! Oh I love for these family meetings! Diddy arrives in the studio to see where everyone is at. Brill Man is up first. What we get is almost Brillo’s entire song, which I assume is an advertisement for his new album. Diddy watches part of it and then stops the performance. He tells Brillo that he looks like a stiff, white boy from Long Island that can’t dance. Diddy says that he’s had that song for two months, so he should have been rehearsing every day for two months. He says he needs to get some black friends and learn how to bop. Yeah, I’d have to agree. Brillo looks super stiff and like he’s not even enjoying himself. It’s hard to say if it’s just nerves or what, but there’s def room for improvement.
Time for Day26. Oh this is gonna be good! They barely get started and Diddy almost instantly stops them. He tells them they need to get mikes because he doesn’t want to see them mime it. Then he says that they won’t have headsets because those are only for Danity Kane. And here we get a little peek into the hierarchy of the music biz. Apparently, headsets are reserved only for headliners.
Well, headliners…and that guy from the Shamwow! commercials…
The boys go “check! Check!” into the mikes, which makes Diddy none too pleased. He tells them that’s not how they check mikes. So then they guys sing “The Star Spangled Banner” instead, which, I guess, is how you check mikes? Who knew!? Diddy tells them that when they are on stage, if they don’t want to represent themselves, then they need to represent Diddy and his LEGACY. I wonder if this legacy includes a nightclub shooting with J.Lo? Robert predicts that they are about to go down in flames. I’m not a gambling gal, but I bet that Robert is absolutely correcto!
Things move along smoothly until Will goes into the wrong spot, giving Que nowhere to go. Diddy starts to loudly boo and heckle them, and it’s hilarious! They tank like Kevin Costner’s post-early 90s career! Diddy says that Que thinks it’s a joke and that he should never look like he has nowhere to go. Dawn must be so proud.
“Um. How long can I use my tonsils as an excuse?”
Now time for Danity Kane. They actually make it through their whole song without getting stopped, but overall it looks a little sloppy. Diddy says that it just shows potential of what they could be if they work harder. But they have a long way to go. He says they look like back-up dancers but not headliners. Then he points out that Aundrea and Orangebrey are the two weak links and need to step up their dance skills. Yikes.
Aww what’s wrong, Little Muff?
Whoa. What’s going on? I’ve been watching a marathon of Bravo’s “Million Dollar Listing,” and I looked up for a second to see Chad massively hairspraying his creepy hair helmut and become totally distracted.
Oh. Right. Brillo! Yes, Brillo is now thoroughly depressed. Even his hair is frowning. He tells Marty, his choreographer, that he feels like he can never get his routine one clean time through. Marty tells him that it’s hard being one person having to put on a show. Then Marty says that Brillo has the least amount of pressure on him because he’s first, which means that he’ll set the tone. Brillo says that Diddy doesn’t want him to dance like anyone else. He’s supposed to be a new brand. The Donnie Brand. Now with removable puffball head.
The next day, the guys are rehearsing before Boomcat arrives, and she is extra nice to them. She asks them if they are okay after yesterday’s issue with Diddy and then starts in with the “cat cat cat cat.”
“I felt totally comfortable watching your performance!”
Danity is back to rehearsing too. Orangebrey says that she was giving it her all the day before, and Diddy was just mad because he didn’t get his Wheaties. Yes, Wheaties. She actually said that. You can’t make this stuff up! Aundrea says that she knows they’ll have it together before the show, so she’s not worried.
Using her mind power to will Diddy to eat his Wheaties.
Aww our favorite lovebirds! Que and Dawn are having dinner, and he’s venting to her about how Will moved into his spot. Dawn says that Diddy sees them as dancing dollar signs, and he has so much money riding on them, that he needs everything to be really perfect. Que tells us that it’s nice having support and they hug and we barf. That night, Que goes to the studio and practices by himself. Another advertisement for the boys because “Got Me Goin’” is playing the whole time. And, yes, I admit that I like this song. So sue me!
Time for Breaking News! Oh awesome. It’s a “Vote or Die” announcement. Good deal. I love how dramatic it is. Vote…….OR DIE!!!!! Fuck voting; I choose death.
The girls are back in their hotel room getting all gussied up for a party. Orangebrey is wearing a silver sparkly gown and asks if she looks like a princess. D.Woods tells her that she looks like an ice queen. The music stops. Orangebrey says that’s a term they used back in the day for women that were bitchy. Orangebrey is on the cover of J’Adore magazine, so she and D are celebrating her debut. Orangebrey asks if her boobs are a problem, and D says that it all depends on one’s tolerance for cleavage. Don’t you all just love D.Woods? I don’t know what I’d do without her. She always provides a safe spot for me to rest my eyes. (Lopsided raccoon hat hair an EXCEPTION.)
J’Adore? Or J’Whore?
Next there is a montage of Orangebrey and D drinking and sitting on guys’ laps. Please remember this montage for later in the show where Orangebrey makes the claim that she is NOT a problem child…
Now it’s time for TRL to promote the music and hopefully get some tickets sold. Then, after the show, it’s time for another family meeting. Dawn tells us that whenever they are called into a backroom with Diddy, it’s always about how they suck. Yes, and we love every hateful minute of it!
Diddy tells them that it’s not all coming together image-wise, and then he calls out Orangebrey and says that she always wants to be naked. Diddy angrily asks her what she wants to look like. She says that she’s not focused on herself and is focused on how she fits into the group. Diddy says that she likes big hair and lots of make-up and is pushing her own image.
Big hair? Big make-up? Why, Diddy, whatever do you mean?
Diddy brings in the stylists to see if Orangebrey is really as flexible as she says she is. Orangebrey tries to put words in their mouth. And the stylist says that sometimes Orangebrey is okay, but sometimes she wants to do what she wants to do with very little compromise. Boo yah! And isn’t the stylist so funny? She’s so plain jane. It’s hard to believe that something like her could create something like Orangebrey.
See what I mean?
Diddy says that Orangebrey doesn’t look like who he signed; she looks like Pam Anderson. Orangebrey asks why he wants to have her there if she’s always a problem. Diddy says that he thinks she’s talented, but he’s starting to reevaluate. He says that he’ll think about if he still wants her there and will let her know later. It’s really amazing to me the way the Diddy talks to her. I mean, I know that she’s a bit much, but he takes a mean tone with her that he never takes with the others. I sense sexual tension again…
That night, Orangebrey lightly lotions her arm in sadness. D.Woods points out that she’s being pretty quiet. She says that she’s tired of the battle moments. D says that she just needs to be strong and continue to be herself. Orangebrey says that what keeps her going is that the rest of the group believes in her, but at the end of the day it’s Diddy running things. She says that if Diddy really believes all the stuff he thinks about her, then she needs to be somewhere else because she doesn’t believe in them. She needs to be somewhere else that’s going to support and believe in her.
Time for another Diddy meeting. He wants to see all the routines all over again, starting with Brillo. This time is so much better for me and the reason why is because he’s smiling. It gives him some ease and a spark. He looks a lot more loose. And Diddy is pleased. He says it’s getting better. Now Day26 – with microphones! Their moves are really sharp. Diddy is grooving along and we can tell he likes it. I let out a secret sigh of relief.
Time for Danity! It looks a lot less sloppy. Orangebrey and Aundrea really hit it. Diddy tells them that it was very impressive. And then Orangebrey storms over and asks to talk to Diddy outside. So, together, they go out into the hallway.
Orangebrey tells Diddy that the way he positions her is as a problem child in the group but that there’s so much more to her. Diddy says that he signed her because of her talent and charisma, and he isn’t trying to demean her. He just feels a lot of individualism from her instead of her being part of the group. Orangebrey says that she wants him to be hard on her but right now she’s having trouble getting the message he’s trying to give. He says that he knows he needs to work on his communication skills too. Orangebrey says that she was always slick and that’s what he used to like about her in the beginning. He says that he just wants her to be the best she can be because there’s still a long way to go. They hug and make up and decide to work together. Yay! I know that I make a lot of fun of Orangebrey, but the group wouldn’t be the same without her, so of course we want her to do well. BFF!
“First of all, why do you think I want to be naked all the time? Second, why aren’t you looking at my face?”
Next time, it’s Fleet Week and Brian can’t dance. And you KNOW I can’t wait! I was in NYC one year during Fleet Week, and I got into major troubs! I’ll see if I can dig up any picture from that. Until then…
See ya Tuesday!