Making the Band: Donnie Needs a Hug

One week Day26 had issues with Diddy, leading them to being kicked out of the studio. Then Danity Kane had issues with Diddy leading to last week’s big Diddy-Sized apology. And now this week it’s Brillo’s turn to battle with the man. Surprise, surprise…

So are our ears.I think this is the first episode that doesn’t begin with Diddy opening the show with a weird/self-obsessed introduction. Thank you MTV!

Instead, we begin with a meeting by the pool. The “Battle of the Bands” is in full swing with Danity Kane and Day26 in the final stretch of recording. And the guys are in the lead by “an overwhelming margin.” Now Diddy wants to spend some time with Brillo because he doesn’t have a vibe yet. Overall, he thinks everyone is doing a good job. Is Diddy becoming a softy? Or is this just a nasty trick to lure us in only to smash our hearts? I miss his crazy lectures on bitchassness and not allowing anyone to fuck up his money. What is with all this positivity?!

Does anyone else see Shannon’s subliminal message to Diddy here? Or am I just really gross?

The boys and girls immediately go back to work in the studio. It’s past the halfway point, and Brillo’s only done two songs. We are shown shots of both groups working hard and celebrating while Brillo just sits on the couch looking bored. At the end of the day, he finally gets into the studio with producer Jim Beanz. (Totally love the name Jim Beanz, btdubs. It’s kinda like Jim Beam, but it’s even better because instead of Beam, it’s Beanz, and with a Z, too. Awesome.) He starts working on a song called “Beautiful Escape” but before he gets past singing one verse, Beanzy gets called out of the studio to go work with the girls.

So Brillo assumes his position back on the couch to stare off into space and wait. Please note his weird sideburn/puffy hair contrast, which I just canNOT get over to save my life. It really looks like his hair ate his sidesburns or something.

Tragic.

Later on…and who knows when because the editting of this show is really screwy…Aundrea, Dawn, Q, Brian and Shannon have lunch and drinks by the pool. Dawn starts talking about Baltimore and says the best thing about living there are the crabcakes. That’s funny because the crabs in Baltimore say that the best thing in the city are the Dawncakes. Aundrea says that’s the only nice thing she’s ever said about her new home. Dawn moved from New Orleans to Baltimore after Hurricane Katrina. She deeply misses her home there and says she can’t move back because it’s not the same and no one lives there anymore.

This week, the role of “Gypsy Queen” will be played by Dawn.

We are shown footage of Dawn surveying the aftermath of the hurricane. Dawn lost her home, dancing school and everything. The shots of the wreckage are heartbreaking, so I’m not even going to attempt to make a joke or be snarky here. Katrina was the worst American natural disaster of our time, it ruined so many lives and is really no laughing matter. After sleeping in her car for half a week, Dawn and her family relocated to Baltimore.

Aundrea tells us that oftentimes Dawn is the person that all the girls confide in, and they often forget that she has her own issues too. She very rarely lets her feelings get the best of her, and prefers to internalize all her emotions.

Dawn says that she’s always been alone, but that she likes it that way because she enjoys her space. Aundrea pipes up and says that Dawn often makes it uncomfortable for people to be around her, just to force people to go away. Q says that he doesn’t care, he’ll be in her space whether she likes it or not. Dawn says that Q is different and can do whatever he wants. I really like Aundrea and Dawn. I wish they could steal more scenes from overly make-upped Orangerella. It’s so refreshing when Aubrey is out of way.

Dear Aub, Please don’t come back. JK!! BFF!!!

The three girls go for a walk on the beach after lunch. Aundrea and Shannon tease Dawn about the way she interacts with Q. Dawn tells us that she and Q are just friends. Yeah right. And I love Brillo’s hair! Diddy is the most humble person on earth! And Whitney Houston believes the children are our future! Let’s just keep the lies coming, shall we?

Ohh no here we go again. Yet another “Breaking News” special report from Diddy. I hope this doesn’t become a weekly thing. It was funny the first time, but this will get really old, really fast. Anyway, Diddy tells us that he’s getting his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame…blah blah blah…shameless promotion, shameless promotion…so he’s going to become a movie star now and quit “Making the Band.” Well, there goes my job. Great.

The next morning, a van comes to take everyone to the studio. Well. Everyone but Brillo, that is. He is having a pity-party-for-one down on the dock. He tells us that a lot of times when everyone else goes to the studio, there’s no timeslot scheduled for him to record, so he stays home alone and feels left out. Awww! (not really) We see him sadly and solitarily play the piano. A sad clown sniffles in the corner. A lonely cat cries on top of a fence. Leo’s cold, frozen hand lets go of the raft and his dead lifeless body slowly floats to the bottom of the ocean. So much sad imagery here.

That night, Q and Dawn are rolling around in bed being “just friends.” They are giggling and talking about how to pronounce her name. Q keeps saying “Daoin.” Does that phonetic spelling look right? He says it with a weird, nasally accent. Dawn says they are just buddies and actually sings the “My Buddy” theme song from those old commercials! Nicely done. Did anyone ever actually have a My Buddy or Kid Sister? Please write me and let me know if you did. I want to know who bought that.

Buddy by day. Cold-blooded killer by night.

Down the hall, Brillo and Aubrey are also lying in bed being “just friends.” Brillo sighs that they don’t have songs for him. Orangebrey gives Brillo a pep talk by saying that the producers gave unbelievable songs to DK and Day26. They are the catchiest songs ever and like nothing anyone’s ever heard before. And the guys’ song is really sexy. Is this not making you feel better, Brillo? Do you not love to hear about how everyone is doing awesome but you? Why not?

By the way, there is a large stuffed animal dog in bed with them. And they are just mindlessly petting it like it’s normal. I think if I climbed into bed with some guy and brought a large stuffed toy with me, I would lose major amounts of sex appeal. Not that I have much to begin with, but basically I’m just saying, Brave choice Orangey!

Strangest threesome EVER.

After the commercial, Diddy greets us. “Poor Donnie. Ladies, don’t you feel sorry for him?” Yeah, I feel sorry for his HAIR. But Dids assures us that Brillo will be okay. (His hair is another story.) Diddy is bringing in Seven, a hit-maker who will be set up with Brillo to get things going.

Most amazing feather earring I’ve seen since Mallory’s boyfriend Nick on “Family Ties.”

EH!

Seven says that Brillo is somewhere between Justin Timbercakes and Robin Thicke. Before we follow them into the studio, Diddy warns us that Seven is a little koo-koo, so we should brace ourselves. I gathered that from his weird earring. Are those back in style again? I hope not. I’m from Chicago, we’re a little behind the fashion curve over here. Maybe you all on the coasts wear crazy feather earrings and razor thin sideburns all the time, and I just don’t know it yet.

Well, the warning was correct because Seven is one weird motherflipper. The studio is FILLED with smoke and there are candles everywhere. Seven is trying to create a positive vibe of energy with this strange studio ambiance. Brillo is trying to pretend like he’s not nervous. But just when we think that it can’t get any weirder, Seven tells us that he has doves too. But he keeps those in another room because they get too loud. Translation: “I couldn’t keep doves in here because they’d mistake your hair for their nest.”

But, everyone has a weird crystal-carrying, Tarot reading friend, so I can dig this. Or am I the only one who has a creepy, bizarro friend like that? (Hi Angie!)

Learn not to burn. Stop, drop and roll.

Seven plays part of a song called “Dr. Love” for Brillo, and I guess Brillo likes it? He says, “The instrumentation is ridiculous, like, oh my god.” So, in Brillo language, I think that’s a good thing. And, actually, the song sounds pretty cool. It’s a catchy, upbeat, dancey track. I’m not a music snob and like most things, so maybe I’m not the best person to ask, but I could see myself dancing to that song. Dancing badly, of course. But dancing all the same. Then Seven plays a song from his own album, but maybe if Brillo likes it, he might give it up. Doubtful. I think Seven is just playing it to show off and plug his own album on MTV. Nice try. This song is a little slower, but still cool. It’s pop rock R&B synth techno everything. That’s a real genre. Look it up.

Meanwhile, back on the dock, Aundrea and Dawn are having a little heart to heart. Dawn explains that she and Q are just friends and totally on the same page. Aundrea — like the rest of America — isn’t so sure. She thinks that Q wants to date Dawn, and Dawn acts a little surprised. But I doubt that she is. I think she’s repressing her feelings for Q because she doesn’t want to get hurt, which is understandable because she’s been through a lot in the past couple years. No need to add heartache on top of everything.

Aundrea tries to get Dawn to come out of her shell a bit by saying that it’s okay to crush on Q. And even though he’s young, he’s not as young as Dawn is making him out to be. Well, I was in agreement with Aundrea up until that point. Q demonstrated major bitchassness two weeks ago by instigating all that drama with Brillo and Orangerella. And this IS the same guy who threw flour all over sleeping members of Day26. So, yeah, I think he might actually be even younger than 19. But, hey, if Dawn likes him, then more power to her.

Everyone goes to bed, but Dawn and Q stay up late to drink Capri Sun and play the piano. And I must point out that Dawn is wearing a horribly oversized hoody that is a terrible shade of green along with really baggy beige athletic pants. Since when don’t girls try to look halfway decent in front of their crush? And can’t Diddy supply something a little more upscale than Capri Sun?! That stuff should never be allowed to leave a second grade cafeteria. Drinking juice out of an aluminum bag is just gross, in my book.

This week, the role of “Mr. Turtle” will be played by Dawn.

You can REALLY tell from Q’s face that he has major feelings for Dawn. It almost makes me forgive his bitchassness. In a halfass way of trying to break things off, Dawn tells him that he has his whole life ahead of him, and he doesn’t need to be trapped. You can tell he’s hurt that she’s saying these things and wants to hear that she wants him. She says that he needs to grow some wings and not look back. He simply replies, “no.”

Ugh. Another “Breaking News” announcement. Geez Diddy. How you test me! Turns out that Diddy inked a new deal with MTV to do another season of “Making the Band.” What a hoax. That was annoying. I had to spend the last 10 minutes feeling like I was out of a job. Cruel joke, Diddy. He then plugs DK’s album, which will be out March 18 and Day26 out March 25. Everyone get out a Sharpie and mark your calendars!

Diddy meets Brillo in the studio, and there is like an entire football team worth of people in there. It takes a village to raise a Brillo, I guess. After Brillo got all excited about his songs with Seven, Diddy breaks the news that he’s not sure that’s the vibe they’re going for. Poor Brilly Willy is back at square one. Can’t a bad-haired Long Islander just catch a break anymore? Life is cruel.

Remember those songs you loved? PSYCH!

Two weeks ago, the girls are back at the house. I phrase it that way because there is definitely some cracked out editing going on here. All the girls are meeting with Gandhi and are wearing the same outfits they were wearing two episodes ago. I maybe wouldn’t have noticed except that Orangebrey is wearing my Halloween costume. Don’t make me pull up photos of that again! You’ll have jazzercising nightmares for the rest of your lives!

Gands wants everyone to be open and vulnerable when they sing. Aundrea goes first and is smashing as always. But next is Dawn. She won’t even get out of her chair to sing. And she sings with her eyes closed in spite of several efforts made by Gandhi to get her to open up and connect to her audience. Finally, she starts to cry. Q lurks around the corner, listening in to Dawn’s struggle to open up. A little creepy there, Q. Give your girl some space. Q tells us that Dawn is so pure and perfect, he doesn’t want her to just walk away. Gandhi tells her that she needs to get through her issues and let it out. He promises that she’ll be all right.

He should at least put a plant on his head to blend in better with the scenery. Does he know nothing about stalking?!

Biv shows up to meet with the boys. They all greet by half-hugging and half-punching each other. He plays “Crazy Love” and all the boys bop along. But Brillo feels sad. He tells us that the boys have nine songs, and he’s been lost in the shuffle. He and Biv go sit outside for a little tete-a-tete. Biv says that Brillo shouldn’t worry because he’s got the look, the sound and an audience rooting for him. (That’s us, guys!) Diddy is a hard man to please and he’s just trying to get the best out of Brillo. Biv tells him to live for tomorrow and not worry about today.

“I just want to stick my hands in your hair, fluff it up even more and hide my money in there.”

Later that night, Dawn has changed out of her enormous hoody and is wearing something a little more sexy. She joins Q at the piano. Q suggests that they write a song about how she feels. Dawn says it’s hard to write a song about how she feels because she feels differently everyday. Somedays she’s Dawn. Other days she’s Dawnerella.

Q says that sometimes he wishes that he were three again because then he could have one more year with his father who died when he was four. And I wish it were 10 a.m. again, so I could have that mid-morning slice of cake one more time. Q says they should write one song with two different stories, and then in the bridge, the stories can come together. He’s obviously opening up himself to show her that it’s a safe environment for her to open up to as well. Dawn says that she closes it all in and never really cries. Q tells her that he cries sometimes. She says that when Katrina happened, she had no money, no clothes and nobody. She has a void that’s not fulfilled. I think she should fill this void with Q’s lips. Those would fill a big void.

Brillo goes to meet Seven at Circle House Studios, and Seven is wearing THE weirdest sunglasses EVER. They are just one giant lens instead of a shade for each eye. It looks part visor, part Geordi LaForge of the Starship Enterprise. Seven says he wants to be the Timbaland to Brillo’s Timberlake. Lofty! It just requires Brillo to break out of his shell and be ridiculous.

“These shades are perfect for my ONE GIANT CYCLOPS EYE.”

Brillo starts right in by recording “Dr. Love.” Okay. This song weirds me out. I like the beat and the sound, but the lyrics are just plain creepy. It’s all about putting a girl on a stretcher and preparing her for surgery. I understand the metaphor, but it’s just gross, that’s all. Pus, stitches and scabs aren’t sexy to me. End of story. There is a great energy in the room though — thanks to all the pot smoke — and everyone is happy with the result. Brillo finally feels some relief. Slam comes in to the room to share the success and loves it.

Brillo heads straight home with a cd of his song to play for the house. Finally he has something to show for himself other than moping around the piano and lonely breakfasts-for-one on the dock. Even Big Mike hobbles down the stairs to hear it. Brills definitely plays Seven’s song, so that makes me wonder. Did Brillo re-record Seven’s song? Or what’s going on here? Regardless, everyone loves it. Roberts tells us that we all need to watch out for Brillo. Yeah, I already do. I have nightmares about his steel wool hair sanding me to death.

Orangepunzel loves the song so much that she releases her hair, and Brillo climbs up to her love.

Now Q and Dawn are randomly on a random putting green in the middle of randomville. Q tells Dawn that if she makes the putt, then he’ll kiss her. She doesn’t even come close to sinking it, so no kissy for her. They flirt around and putt around. Q does that thing where he stands behind her and helps her with her swing. The sexual inuendos are just out of control. He keeps telling her to guide it into the hole. And they keep talking about kissing but then Dawn won’t follow through with it. Q says, “You scared. You scared of my lips.”

And finally they end up lying on the boardwalk by their house. Aundrea leans over the balcony and asks Q if he’s kissed her yet. She says “just one for me.” Finally Dawn sits up and kisses Q. That’s a pretty good way to end the show.

Ah finally! Sweet release!

What did you guys think about this week? From the previews, I thought that Dawn was going to break up with Q, but it looks like they are getting stronger than ever. I hope that she can finally find some happiness…

Next week looks like we’ll be knee-deep in bitchassness again! Bitchassness Robert will be fighting with Anger Management Brian! Can’t wait!