Y’All Gots to Flow!

Making the Band

By B-Side | Monday, July 24, 2006 | 3:02 pm | 26 Comments

aubrey02072406 Big shocker on this week’s Making the Band. You might want to sit down before I reveal it. Okay, here it comes: one of the girls had trouble singing in the studio! I know, I know. Try to take a moment to let it sink in. It’s hard to believe, but once again, our half hour of drama focused on Aubrey struggling to hit all the right notes for the producers. This meant she had to dig down deep and really pull out all the stops. Well, that’s probably what she would have liked to have done… had the record producers not kicked her off the track. Oh snap! Aubrey done lost her chance!This week’s show started off with sultry, sumptuous images of South Beach as the girls frolicked in the sun. “Have a good time! Enjoy yourselves, ladies!” Diddy yelled from the studio, adding, “And get me a cheesecake while you’re at it.” You know, if you think about it — two things we’ve learned about Diddy from the past few seasons of this show is that he loves cheesecake and he loves Miami. Dare I ask it: is Diddy the long-lost, black Golden Girl? I can almost see him cozying up to Dorothy Zbornak and Blanche Devereaux, maybe receiving a pointed barb from Sophia.

Anyway, the girls of this band (which we know is now called Danity Kane or something dumb like that — although, it hasn’t been officially released on the show) pranced around the beach like a tiny heard of ponies, and the ever mousy Aundrea explained to us, “We need a little fun in our lives!” Of course, for her, that means running around in a little, metal wheel for hours on end, but that’s neither here nor there.

Dawn echoed her bandmate’s sentiment by saying, “The most important rule is always, always, always have fun.” How true. And we’ll see just how long the fun lasts. (If you’re guessing “not long at all,” we’re on the same wavelength.)

Speaking of fun, we then saw Aubrey waltzing down a street in South Beach, and as usual, she was showing off all her assets. One person even randomly asked her, “Do you model?” She laughed it off as if the kid was crazy (clearly she had forgotten about that Maxim shoot she did last season) and then wandered into a boutique where she tried on the skimpiest, most provocative bikinis in all of Florida. A little later, when the girls were all partying at a club, Aubrey then told us, “My biggest challenge in this group is going to be fighting against the misconceptions of who I am.” She then added, “For instance, because I’m in a singing group, people have this misconception that I can sing. I don’t know why they think that.” Okay, she didn’t say that, but she did complain, “I always get to play the ‘sexy’ role.” Yeah, why does she always have to be just the sexy one? It’s not like she spends all day trying on scandalous bathing suits and stuff. Oh wait…

We then headed over to the Sagamore hotel where Aundrea was on the phone with her music industry boyfriend, Rudy. Keep in mind that this was the same guy that Diddy warned was a rat. Well, the two had a sweet, if not dreadfully boring, conversation, and as they talked, Aundrea alerted us that they’d been together for two years. How lovely. By the way, I had meatloaf last night. What? I thought we were all sharing things that no one cared about.

Anyway, a few minutes with AundRudy, and we could already tell there was trouble in mousy paradise. “You sound like you’re drunk,” Rudy told his girlfriend at one point. Yes, he was one of those. Mmmm… I love the smell of co-dependency in the morning. Luckily, before we could be totally put to sleep, we left these two and headed into the studio where Diddy reminded us the clock was ticking. He wanted an album in stores by late August, dammit! Just in time for the season finale! Yay synergy! By the way, I’ll be posting a full CD review once it “drops.”

Well, for today’s adventure in pop R&B, the girls would be working with Brian Cox. No, not the guy from the Bourne Identity movies (and everything else). This Brian Cox was a young black man who was a super producer and worked with Usher and stuff. By the way, just thinking out loud, who else would love to see a movie where Brian Cox and Brian Cox switch bodies? I’m there opening day.

The Brian Coxes.

Tonight’s big project would be working on a ballad called, “Right For You.” I immediately groaned, mostly in anticipation of dumb parallels between the song and Aundrea’s love life. Well, all the girls got in the booth, and one after another, they knocked it out of the park. Audrea, Shannon, Dawn, D. Woods — they all were en fuego tonight! But then there was Aubrey. The “sexy one.” She had a major problem: she sucked. Try as she did, she simply could not get into the emotions of the song. It was total and complete disaster. Danity Kane would be RUINED! Eventually, Brian Cox yanked her out of the booth, and just when Aubrey was feeling totally worthless, guess who walked in? That’s right. Diddy (who was bizarrely dressed as Where’s Waldo, but that’s a whole other issue entirely).

Sure enough, Diddy liked everyone, but when it came to Aubrey, he commented, “She’s trying to sing. She can’t be trying to sing. You can’t do that, Ma. Y’all gots to flow! Y’all gots to flow!” I feel like there’s a really naughty menstruation joke in here somewhere, but I just can’t seem to get it.

Anyway, Diddy gave Aundrea further cryptic advice, saying, “You gots to freak this shit!” and ultimately, “I gotta cry when I hear this shit!” Don’t you worry, Diddy. You will be crying. Oh how the tears of Diddy shall flow! It’ll be like a thousand boom-cats rolled into one. Okay, I’m not even making sense anymore.

Where’s Diddy?

After the commercial break, we found Aundrea talking to Rudy on the phone, but bitch was gettin’ in the way of Fox’s action Mondays! Rudy was literally trying to watch Prison Break, and no girlfriend was going to get in the way of that. Yeah, feel the burn, Aundrea. You just lost out to Wentworth Miller. Dreamy, dreamy Wentworth Miller with his piercing eyes and prominent widow’s peak. Swooooon.

Aundrea then went out to the balcony and talked to Shannon about the whole situation, painting her toe-nails all along, which was appropriate because this conversation was just about as exciting as watching paint dry. The two talked about how the industry is hard on relationships and just hard in general. “I don’t see half the people out there surviving it,” Shannon said. Don’t get your hopes up either, pretty young thang.

Back at the studio, the girls listened back to the ballad they recorded the other night. The way it was supposed to go was that Aubrey and Aundrea would share the first verse, singing alternate lyrics back and forth. However, what they discovered was that Aubrey had been dropped from the song entirely. Oops! Kind of makes sense though. Usually music producers like their singers to be able to, you know, sing.

Well, Aubrey was understandably sad, and Dawn commented, “She’s really hurt about it, and I understand because I know that would be a feeling that I would feel if it was me.” If it was you? Bitch, you nearly got cut out of a song last week. Don’t act like you be bowling them over! And yes, I do turn into a woman named Shaniqua when I watch this show.

The girls then got to work on a new Brian Cox song called “Handle Me,” and surprise, surprise! It was the opening credits theme song! Their big number! And guess what? Aubrey wasn’t going to be singing on it either. Haha. She’s arguably the star of the show, and yet she doesn’t get to sing in the opening credits. Oh the cruel fate of the sexy one! Maybe she should wear a sexy outfit around the studio instead of those dumpy overalls. Eh, I guess that’s sexual harassment; so never mind.

Well, Aubrey left the studio to cry in the parking lot, and Dawn (or was it D. Woods? I couldn’t tell) went out to console her. I couldn’t get a clear view because the camera man inexplicably spent the entire scene hiding behind various vehicles, lest he ruin the “realness” of the moment. Nevertheless, Aubrey cried, “Everyone else is getting stuff except for me!” She then bawled about not doing anything and being sent home from the group. “I could do ‘pretty, pretty Aubrey’ somewhere else,” she moaned. Yeah, like at a strip bar! She don’t need this “Diddy” fella, whoever he was.

Later, Aubrey returned to the studio but told us, “I feel like I can’t live as a true artist, and I can’t express myself the way I want to.” Oh cruel world! How could you repress the beacon of sheer talent and artistry that is Aubrey? She’s more than a pretty face! She’s more than a musician! She is an ARTIST, DAMMIT!

Sensing that her friend was feeling down in the dumps. Dawn went and talked to the group’s manager, Johnny Wright (the same man who last season seemed to be holding the Backstreet Boys captive in his walk in closet). He reminded her that ultimately, it was the producers’ album and their call. If they didn’t like Aubrey’s voice, then there wasn’t much he could do. Dawn then replied, “I agree with everything you’re saying, but I’m also her sister too.” And of course, the producers added an extra flash or flair to the screen when Dawn said “sister,” just in case we were too dumb to realize she had said something really supportive and nice. A great drinking game would be taking a shot every time the producers made the screen flash. I can imagine the girls going to a restaurant and asking what dressings came with the salad:

Waitress: “We have ranch [FLASH!], thousand island [FLASH!], balsamic [FLASH!], bleu cheese [FLASH FLASH!], and Italian [FLAAASH!]“

Aundrea: “Do you have French? [mini flash]“

Wiatress: “No, I’m sorry. [BIG FLASH, followed by a BOOM, leading into slow motion and black and white]“

Well, sensing that he had to nip this Aubrey problem in the bud, Johnny gathered the girls all around and said that while it might be tough and frustrating, a producer’s decision did not necessarily reflect the quality of singing. Sometimes, a person’s tonality just isn’t what the big guys are looking for. With that, Aubrey began to feel better — she wasn’t a bad singer after all! She just didn’t have the right tone! You know, her unique “can’t hit the notes” tone doesn’t work with every song, and that’s OKAY.

Meanwhile, Aundrea decided to call her boyfriend again, but horror of horrors: she got his voicemail! Oh, how awful! Is there anything more cruel and heartbreaking than reaching someone’s voicemail???? What’s next? She’ll IM someone and get… an away message?

Back in the studios, hefty songwriter Pooh Bear returned to add a few touches and elements to that Scott Storch song from last week. He called Aubrey into the booth, and guess what? She redeemed herself! I personally thought she sounded worse than on the ballad, but Pooh liked it, and if it’s good enough for Pooh, it’s good enough for me. Anyway, Aubrey was in the zone — as best evidenced by her quick-moving finger dancing — and when she emerged from the booth, she realized that she could excel at one song and not be right for another. Yay life lessons! Aubrey has a place again!

We then watched as the whole team listened back to the song, and I’m sorry, I just had to get this off my chest. He may be incredibly talented and amazing and an awesome person, but Scott Storch looked totally idiotic. He reminded me of every dorky kid who wanted to be cool. The sunglasses, the chains, the jersey — just drop it dude. Embrace your inner L. L. Bean.

Seriously…

If it makes Scott feel any better, however, I will say this — and this is very hard for me to say — the stupid song they were all listening to… it had grown on me. Yes, I feel great shame in admitting it, but I can’t help it! I’ve been inculcated!

Later, Aundrea tried yet again to reach Rudy, and the good news for her was that she didn’t get stuck with voicemail. The bad news was that Rudy clearly didn’t have the time for her. “I have to get back to this,” Rudy said, adding, “24 is on, dammit!” Okay, he didn’t say that, but his brusque attitude caused Aundrea to cry. “Can you be my boyfriend now?” she asked, trying to keep her composure.

“Drea, I have people inside waiting for me,” he replied. Dammit, woman! They have to watch Law & Order: Criminal Intent! Have you no decency?

And on this sorrowful note, the show ended. Oh my goodness! What will happen with these two? And will we ever care? Probably not. What did you think about this episode?

Comments (26)
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26 Comments

1

noballs

Posted July 24, 2006 at 3:32 pm

OMG Shaniqua you are f’ing awesome. You made my day!

I had “Y’all gots to flow” on my mind after I heard Diddy say that and to see it as your title was great!!

My highlights (which are too many to mention really) are the finger dancing my Aubrey – she looks very odd in that scene and the Scott Storch comments. He looks like a typical 7th grade fricking dork punk that is trying to look way to cool & ‘down’ and gets his a$$ kicked and moves away.
2

superb

Posted July 24, 2006 at 3:52 pm

scott storch looks like he should be a character in Grand Theft Auto.
3

KristinMichelle

Posted July 24, 2006 at 4:47 pm

How does Scott Storch not get beaten up while walking down the street in Miami? He is ridiculous, and his jeweler must have been playing a joke on him with his even more ridiculous bling. I feel like I need to bathe after each appearance he makes on the show.

As for Aubrey, I felt genuinely bad for her when parts were taken away from her, but she seems to have an incredibly inflated self image. This is the second episode where she has referred to herself as “pretty Aubrey” while talking about how she can’t sing. She’s right… she IS pretty, but for wanting people to take her more seriously for attributes other than her looks, she sure does try unabashedly hard to look sexy at all times. Of course people are going to think of you as the pretty one when you look perfect even with a fever and a snotty nose… fake eyelashes, nails, tan and all. She admitted that she knew during the competition that she was one of the weaker singers and she needed to rely on her performing skills instead, so how can she be surprised when she goes into a studio and is stripped of parts because she is the weakest voice? Plus, I don’t know a single girl who would sulk at being called “the pretty one”.
4

poppystjames

Posted July 24, 2006 at 5:04 pm

Scott Storch looks like Spanky from the Little Rascals after a series of comical twists and turns that resulted in him having to pretend to be a blinged out hip-hop music producer. Obviously he is standing on Alfalfa’s sholders.
5

sweetleaf

Posted July 24, 2006 at 6:15 pm

The recap is better than the show, very funny Shaniqua!

Blue cheese Flash- flash Italian flaaashh
too funny
6

shellmnyc

Posted July 24, 2006 at 6:33 pm

I’m sorry I have to correct you on this B-Side… Diddy told the girls that their boyfriends are a “wrap” not a “rat” on that episode. It’s slang. He was saying that their relationships are over. That’s all.
7

IHeartTV

Posted July 25, 2006 at 5:07 am

I feel like I can’t live as a true artist, and I can’t express myself the way I want to.

I feel you Aubrey. That’s what I think everyday as I’m sitting in my tiny little cube, typing away.
8

Terence

Posted July 25, 2006 at 6:16 am

Didn’t Scott Scorch work with Christina Aguilera [thought I saw him on her E! life story] Still he dresses like an idiot and is sort of Paul Wall-esque.
9

BonaFide

Posted July 25, 2006 at 6:49 am

I’m pretty sure that Aubrey wasn’t bawling about “being sent home.” I don’t think she is afraid that she will be sent home. In the parking lot, I believe she was saying that she COULD go home and do other things like “pretty, pretty Aubrey.” She is the most recognizable member of the group, and I don’t think that her singing is THAT bad. I hope she grows a thicker skin and sticks it out.

Nice recap, B-Side.
10

Leah3t

Posted July 25, 2006 at 7:00 am

That finger dancing totally killed me. And “pretty pretty Aubrey” just reminded me of that psycho girl on the apprentice a few seasons back who was crying because she was so beautiful she felt she had to cut her face to make friends.

Mouse needs to give up on her boyfriend. Whoever was waiting for him inside of red lobster wasn’t worth him being such a jerk.
11

amz850

Posted July 25, 2006 at 8:19 am

“Diddy (who was bizarrely dressed as Where’s Waldo, but that’s a whole other issue entirely).”

Still cleaning up the water I spit out onto my computer screen. Hilarious.
12

hollabackboy

Posted July 25, 2006 at 8:50 am

B-Side, you are sooo right. Those colorful flashes are so annoying and unneccesary. I think they are used to show change of emotion or something, but it’s really stupid.

Also, is Aundrea blind or something? Her boyfriend obviously a) is cheating on her or b)isn’t interested in her anymore. Poor girl.
13

anonym.

Posted July 25, 2006 at 9:19 am

the resemblance between brian cox and gervis from survivor season 1 is uncanny.
14

anonym.

Posted July 25, 2006 at 9:23 am

oh, and aubrey totally looks like LC in that Scott Storch picture…i guess all MTV starlets begin to look alike after a while
15

treez

Posted July 25, 2006 at 9:24 am

Sigh. I, who is Aubrey’s number one fan, must admit that the constant references to her beauty are getting wearing. But am I the only one who doesn’t think she sounded any worse than anyone else on that particular song? or bad enough to be cut off the song? But hey, whatev. And am I also the only one who is noticing Aundrea the rat is getting a lil chunky? Funny how PDiddy never says anything to her about it, while constantly harping on everyone else (i.e. D’Woods who probably has the best body) I think they have a special lovers relationship, which she expresses to the public by her constant wearing of I Heart Sean paraphernalia.
16

bdos88

Posted July 25, 2006 at 12:43 pm

Dare I ask it: is Diddy the long-lost, black Golden Girl? I can almost see him cozying up to Dorothy Zbornak and Blanche Devereaux, maybe receiving a pointed barb from Sophia.
———————

Thanks a lot, B-side. I almost choked to death after reading this line. I had just taken a swig of water and, not wanting to do a spit-take on my monitor, I tried swallowing it and laughing uncontrollably at the same time – not a good combo. I’m a sucker for a good Golden Girls reference. I’ve never even seen MTB but the recaps are hilarious. Anything that makes fun of “yeah-uh-yeah” P-doofus is welcome.
17

meems

Posted July 25, 2006 at 1:34 pm

I just learned that Scott Storch was part of The Roots on their first album back. wtf? He sucks. I don’t watch this show and only read the recaps but noticed they were filming some sort of Making the Band video in the park outside my building. My husband and I walked by the gates but couldn’t bear to subject ourselves to that much Diddy.
18

Lisa

Posted July 25, 2006 at 1:57 pm

Everytime I see Scott Storch (like in his fantastic appearances on Hogan Knows Best), he makes me shudder. He looks like a sexual predator.
19

kristin_d_l

Posted July 25, 2006 at 4:57 pm

Aubrey reminds me of Sarah W. from the Charlie O’Donnell Bachelorette. You know, the one who was always crying, “people are so mean to me because I’m pretty!” Huh, and here I thought people were mean to you because you keep *saying* that you’re pretty.
20

hanan5050

Posted July 26, 2006 at 8:19 am

What happened to Aubrey from Season 1? She had a great voice, really strong. Why does she suck so bad now? And if she calls herself pretty one more time, I’m gonna hurl. If you don’t want to be pretty, take a pound or two of the makeup off.
21

BonaFide

Posted July 26, 2006 at 10:04 am

I guess that I am in the minority here because Aubrey is my favorite member of the band. She is the hottest and the best dancer. She also has the weakest voice, but I won’t go so far as to say that she CAN”T SING. I, for one, thought that she didn’t sound ANY different from the other girls on the track she was cut from.

I feel badly for her. I think that anyone in her position would feel isolated, inferior even. I also don’t think that her references to “pretty Aubrey” come from a vain place. I think she is honestly upset that there is a perception that she has no talent and only made the band because of the way she looks.

Personally, I think that Aubrey made the band because she has star quality. On the last season, Diddy and his minions all agreed that she was going to be a star no matter what. I agree with Aubrey that she could quit the band and “do other things.” I’m sure that with the exposure she’s received from the show so far and her dancing and singing talents, she could be quite successful. Remember that this is an America that pays for Adam Sandler movies and Paris Hilton cds.
22

BonaFide

Posted July 26, 2006 at 10:05 am

I guess that I am in the minority here because Aubrey is my favorite member of the band. She is the hottest and the best dancer. She also has the weakest voice, but I won’t go so far as to say that she CAN”T SING. I, for one, thought that she didn’t sound ANY different from the other girls on the track she was cut from.

I feel badly for her. I think that anyone in her position would feel isolated, inferior even. I also don’t think that her references to “pretty Aubrey” come from a vain place. I think she is honestly upset that there is a perception that she has no talent and only made the band because of the way she looks.

Personally, I think that Aubrey made the band because she has star quality. On the last season, Diddy and his minions all agreed that she was going to be a star no matter what. I agree with Aubrey that she could quit the band and “do other things.” I’m sure that with the exposure she’s received from the show so far and her dancing and singing talents, she could be quite successful. Remember that this is an America that pays for Adam Sandler movies and Paris Hilton cds.
23

Delilah

Posted July 29, 2006 at 12:13 pm

The thing about this huge fan base/popularity that is constantly spoken about is that it only lasts so long. People will soon get bored of DK and start desiring quality music. Popularity soon weans- as it clearly is beginning to with some posters here in regards to Aubrey. “Likeable” only sells records for so long- people then move onto illegal downloading, when people realise certain groups are worth listening to- but definately not worth buying.

Keeping poor singers like Aubrey and Shannon for the sake of popularity/ large fan base/looks, will eventually push Danity Kane into being another cheesy music group with no substance. This is all good for your average cheesy pop group- BUT REMEMBER DIDDY HAS CONSTANTLY BEEN RANTING ABOUT MAKING A REPUTABLE/TALENTED GROUP. This is something that Danity Kane does not look set to be.

Believe me abscense of Aubrey’s talent will not be missed. Her popularity/ personality can be filled by D. Woods and Aundrea. I agree with the poster that stated that it is not like she has millions of fans- many are now favouring Aundrea or the other members now they have realised her talent is not that great. This IT Factor that she supposedly has, is clearly disentergrating or never truly existed. This cannot simply be because of her singing difficulties as anyone with the true ˜It Factor’ could work through this. TRUE IT FACTOR GOES HAND IN HAND WITH TRUE TALENT- something that each recurring episode is verifying (or in the case of some people who have noticed her poor vocals from the beginning, from ˜day one’) that she lacks to a certain extent- that is at least on the vocals. As Doc would say “she’s been exposed”. (she’s been exposed from day 1 to me- but clearly not to many posters who are only recently noticing her poor vocal skills)

(This does not mean I think she should leave- but that she is not as important talent wise and group wise as posters like UpsetAlot make her out to be.)

I have to give Aubrey her props though for at least acknowledging from Season 1 that her vocals were not up to par- unfortunately- some people here cannot admit that too.
24

anniedawg25

Posted July 31, 2006 at 9:30 pm

Danity Kane is the worst name for a band….ever. Ugh.

Secondly, I am starting to feel bad for Aubrey. It is just me, or does it seem like she gets skinner, her voice gets raspier, hair gets more and more disheveled and the bags under her eyes get darker with each episode. I think this whole thing is taking it’s toll on her. She doesn’t really seem happy or energetic anymore.

And Andrea’s bf dumping her like that. Ouch. But you gotta give the guy props for being so blunt.
25

rachel vashti

Posted August 5, 2006 at 3:08 pm

I can’t believe Brian Cox said that to Aubrey, Ike told Tina to “Put some stank on it” right before he beat and raped her in the booth.
26

Olamide Aina

Posted April 15, 2008 at 4:51 am

IT WAS DAWN WHO SPOKE TO AUBREY WHEN SHE WENT OUTSIDE.