Million Dollar Listing LA Recap:Listings and Losses

Recaps

By PopePhilly | Saturday, August 11, 2012 | 2:00 pm | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Million Dollar Listing, Recaps

Greetings, Gasmii! Welcome back to another episode of “Million Dollar Listing LA.” Someone over at Bravo was listening to me because we start this episode with JF and Grandma Edith! We find out that Grandma Edith is reading her dead neighbor’s newspapers every day. If anyone else in the world had said that, I would be thinking, “My God! What an ass hole.” Instead, because it’s Edith, I’m thinking, “My God! That woman is adorable!”

This woman can do no wrong in my eyes!

JF tells Grandma Edith that his parents want him to sell a property down in Rancho Santa Fe. She thinks it’s a wonderful idea, but JF is a bit hesitant to list the property because it is about three hours away from LA. It would be a lot of driving for him and the market is pretty shitty in Rancho Santa Fe. Grandma Edith tells him that the market is shitty everywhere, so he needs to take what he can get. She really gives JF hell because he doesn’t want to sell this property. From now on, when someone complains about something, I’m just going to say, “Have a cup of coffee!” Thanks, Edith! Then, Grandma Edith gives JF the advice we’ve been trying to give him all season: “Don’t forget to shave!”

You better listen to her, JF. 

Madison is meeting with Camilo, a repeat client of his. Camilo is looking for a house to flip. He wants to get at least a 20% return on the property. Madison and Camilo are looking at a house that Madison thinks would involve a lot of work. “It has too much stained glass and too much slate.” Oh, sweetie. I grew up in a town called Slatington. The town next to it was called Slatedale. You have no idea what too much slate looks like.

You try selling this, Madison.

Madison and Camilo both agree that this house would have to be made into something a little more generic in order to find a buyer. Camilo makes a good point when he says that flipping a house is just a numbers game. He needs to be sure that people are going to want the house. 

And now we have to go hang out with JF for a little while. Once again, he’s talking on his cell phone while driving. Can we please see an episode where he gets pulled over for this? My head starts to hurt a little bit when he says, “Dogs chase cats. Josh Altman chases listings.” Then he adds, “Ruff ruff, baby.” Can we just replace JA’s segments with dogs chasing cats? That would be way  more interesting. 

Dogs cuddling with cats would be even better!

JA is meeting with Deb about selling her house. I’m not sure if she is wearing a purple dangly feather earring or if she just has a random purple streak in her hair. If it’s a purple streak, it looks really out of place on her. I’m all for funky colored hair. Back in my college days, I sported many different colors. However, it doesn’t quite look right when you’re dressed as stylishly as Deb is. 

She invests in real estate and Manic Panic.

Deb really does have an awesome house. I have to agree with JA when he says that he thinks she’ll get a great crowd of people coming to look at the house. JA then finds out that Deb owns another house down the street. Why is JA hamming it up so much this episode? He’s always been a douchebag, but he seems to be laying it on really thick right now. I want to punch him even more than I usually do. JA eventually talks Deb into letting him list her house down the street. 

I think this second house should be the new TVgasm house. The bathroom has heated floors! Deb is concerned about her two properties being in competition with one another. I don’t think it would really be competition. The houses are so vastly different from one another that it will be different types of buyers for each of them. Also, JA’s tie is ridiculous.

Stop letting Heather dress you.

We don’t get to drink yet! When JA gives Deb the prices for her houses, she agrees with them! I’m not sure how to handle that.

Camilo and Madison are looking at another property where they meet with Bobby (the selling agent). The house is pretty great, but there is someone living in a camper on the lot next to it. Bobby says that there are plans to build a home there and that landscaping and/or a wall could be built. Madison is a bit worried that the house is dated and currently has no landscaping. Despite these negatives, Madison knows that they could turn the house around in a short period of time for very little money. The view is incredible, but there is another motor home on the other side of the house. 

So far, Camilo has not liked any of the houses that Madison has shown him. Madison is getting worried that Camilo is going to “park his money in another investment” without him. 

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PopePhilly

Aside from making fun of reality television on a weekly basis, PopePhilly is a legal assistant by day and avid kickball player by night (well, at least on Thursdays). On the nerd front, she is an active member of the forensic speech and debate community. She spends her time judging at tournaments throughout the country and serving on the board of directors for the West Chester University alumni chapter of Pi Kappa Delta (yes, speech nerds get to pretend to be cool by having Greek letters).

15 Comments

  1. 1
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 11, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    “Danelle refuses to even call her client about it.”

    Am I getting California and New York mixed up? I thought somebody on one of these shows mentioned that the broker HAD to give ALL offers to the seller by law. I’m actually glad it’s not true, because a seller should be able to say don’t even bother me unless an offer is above some predetermined minimum.

  2. 2
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted August 11, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Oh yeah . . . Camilo DOES looks like Oliver Platt. mrs crankguy said I was crazy when I mentioned it to her, but now I’ve got backup. I’d like to think that Oliver Platt is nowhere near the asshole that Camilo is, though.

  3. 3
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    @crankyguy: Glad I could help! I’m sure Oliver Platt is much nicer.

  4. 4
    Spababe
    Posted August 11, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    I can’t say enough about this show. I can’t wait every week for it to come on and it’s the first show of the night I watch on my DVR. I just wish it wouldn’t end. Hurry and bring it back as it is one of the best shows on the air. I like each one of the guys in their own way.

  5. 5
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 12, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    @crankyguy – I think the actual rule is that all WRITTEN offers have to be presented. But since telling a buyer “i’m not going to tell the seller unless you submit it in writing” might irritate everyone it’s probably a good idea to go ahead and submit the verbal offers too. Kinda like letting the cops in without a warrant: Technically you don’t have to, but do you really want to wait til they’re pissed off if you have nothing to hide?

    Man do I love Grandma Edith. I think I will have to read her book. She and the newly likable JF are the only things saving this show. I miss Freddie! I miss NYC!

    PS great job Pope!

  6. 6
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 12, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    @MrsMia: I think it would be hilarious if we started seeing “A Simple Girl” suddnely climb up the NY Times bestseller list all because of us here at TVgasm.

    To weigh in on the submitting offers debate: If the client says “I don’t even want to hear a counteroffer unless it’s no more/less than X amount” I imagine that it’s OK for the agent not to call them with the offer.

  7. 7
    TV Junkie
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 6:11 am

    I am sooo sad. I have been waiting all season for Fredrick to show up ..and he is going to be on MDLLA..BUT…
    the bad part is that he will be working with JA…why does BRAVO do this shit to us…????
    Also since I don’t trust that bitch Heather ..I hope she isn’t showing up @ Madison’s service to hound him for money. That would be just like her and JA..kick him down at his lowest.
    I also felt sorry that Josh F. ( the good Josh) had to drive 3 hours for Edith’s friends…they were such jerks..I think they must have really wanted to be on TV..I can not see anyone wanting a listing broker 3 hours away..doesn’t make sense ..unless
    1) They wanted camera time.
    2) They expected Josh to do it for free.
    Thats all glad I got to see it on Sat. during the day as it was still a bit of a snooze fest..if It had been a
    @ night I might have fallen alseep again!!!

  8. 8
    TV Junkie
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 6:17 am

    I almost forgot when Josh Asshole and H. were shopping for ties I threw up when he said about his new gun tie (that he has worn about 20x’s too many already this season) “I am the gangster of real estate”….I yelled a
    @ my TV…
    NO…..JOSH YOU ARE THE GANGSTER OF SHIT…

  9. 9
    myfavoritesunglasses
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

    PopePhilly, sending that picture to Madison was a really sweet thing to do! I’m clearly a complete sap as well. One of my dogs passed away recently, and she had a really funny whine that was unlike most whimpering I’ve heard before, and it became a running joke to imitate it whenever something happened among my friends that we were mad about. Anyway, a friend of mine sent me a message saying that my dog was a good dog and she’d live on through her catchphrase, and that silly message brought me to tears for days afterward just because someone was acknowledging my pain. So I’m sure he appreciated your picture!

  10. 10
    labowner
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 10:21 am

    “I really hope their next step is breaking up and never being on TV again.”

    And that sentence is why I love reading the recaps here.

  11. 11
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 10:38 am

    @myfavoritesunglasses: I’m so sorry about the loss of your dog. I will have Lindsey say her kitty prayers for you (not a condescending “I’ll pray for you,” just something my friends and I say to each other when pet related things are sad). Also, Madison sent me an email back right away just to say thank you and that he loved the picture. He’s really turned into a class act in my eyes over the course of this season.

    @labowner: Thanks! I’m still hoping for that. It also looks like there might be some “next step” talk for Colton and JA. I really hope their next step is not breaking up and ALWAYS being on TV. :)

  12. 12
    TV Junkie
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    I am so happy Madison contacted you and I hope he reads this column…
    PP It was really nice of you to send that picture…I am also a dog nut..but after losing two dogs of old age in two years my husband said no more..he can’t take another death in the family. I am thinking of being a foster home to puppies that they bring up from kill shelters in the south..my friend does it and they do find homes for the pups. The last one she had was sooo sweet our neighbor adopted him right away….so if any of your readers have a few gates, a crate and some extra time it is a wonderful thing to do…
    maybe the next step for Colton and JF is a baby..wouldn’t that be great..then BRAVO can do a show around their family and or course Great Grandmother EDITH..com on JF..your grandmother deserves a grandchild

  13. 13
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    @TV Junkie: I hope you can be a foster home! As soon as I have a bigger home, I plan on doing that as well. My Lindsey was a foster kitty before she came to live with me. When I met her, I couldn’t believe that no one had wanted her. I came into her foster house, sat down on the floor, and she just plopped herself in my lap. She very much adopted me. I always say I want to “pay forward” the kindness that someone showed to my little girl before she came to live with me.

    I think Madison would be pretty happy with these recaps – especially since you can clearly see the evolution of my love for him as the season went on!

    I’m sure we can all agree that any child of JF and Colton (and great-grandchild to Edith) would be the most stylish baby EVER!

  14. 14
    TV Junkie
    Posted August 14, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Dear PopePhilly,
    I just watched (last night) Gallery Girls..and loved it !!…so much material..so many people,events to mock…do you think you could be allowed to recap it?! You would be great…In fact we may have a date for Mikey from MDLNY on this cast ,a girl name Amy ,who lives on the Upper East Side and gets sloppy drunk..perfect for him!!! ..maybe Patti S. could Match them up….

  15. 15
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted August 14, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    @TV Junkie: That was nice of you to say. SG is already recapping “Gallery Girls” and I’m sure it will be awesome!

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