Millionaire Matchmaker Recap: Alpha Beta Shonda

I really respect Shonda because she worked really hard to lose a lot of weight and get fit. And she got more than fit, she became a figure competitor. I’m currently a 50-lb overweight triathlete/endurance athlete (thanks, back injury), but I read a TON of blogs about female body builders and figure competitors. It’s this weird vein of information and lifestyle that fascinates me. And I totally respect the work that goes into that kind of workout/competition. It’s a LOT. So, kudos to Shonda. She’s just looking for publicity, too, but I’m more willing to cut her some slack. Especially since she’s not otherwise pimping herself as a relationship expert.

Chubs

Unchubbed

Patti’s much more down to earth with Shonda. She’s being alpha and putting Shonda in beta position. (Whereas Patti was totally beta-ing to Angela at their meeting.) Shonda doesn’t seem to care. She seems very sweet, very genuine. Patti’s just trying to understand this whole Donald Trump/Kevin Costner thang. They also talk about Shonda’s former relationship, which ends in my dreaded Patti hand-slap. I hate the hand-slap. (“Stop being a doormat.”)  ugh.

Why love now? Because Shonda is ready to make it right, to fix what may be broken inside of her, to get the tools she needs to make the right connections. See? Real and genuine. Yes, I’m a sucker. It’s just for publicity, I know. I KNOW!

Patti finds out that Shonda wants older men, and she’s kinda like, “unh unh.” Shonda’s too vibrant for that, AND men in their later 50s will tend to have penis problems. You heard it here first.

Some other day, Greg appears at the Millionaire’s Club so he can help vet potential dudes for Angela. Patti fact-finds, asking Greg about Angela’s style in dating and maybe a bit about how she is in bed. Greg giggles. Greg also needs to lay off the gel. I never understand the total gel hairdo. Jax on SOA got UGLY when he went gelled.

Hot

Also hot

Not so hot

Patti’s decided to do a dinner party for both of these millionairesses. Shonda’s too wounded from her former relationship to do well in the crazy mixer setting, and Angela’s too strong-willed and would crush any suitor before anything got off the ground. So Destin, Rachel, Greg, and Patti will work to find three good guys each to join these two for dinner.

Let’s get to work!

First guy they all chat with is not fun to look at, except when they ALL point out that his weiner is bulging out of his pants. He plays with his shirt, thinking they’re talking about his belly bulging out of that. Nope, your penis, dude. He’s a lawyer. Greg grills him about his job. Patti asks him about how he’d handle a strong-willed woman. Greg takes notes.