Thanks for hiding that bulge.
John is a British guy, which Patti susses out by his accent. Of course, she likes to pretend she can do a British accent, too, asking John what he does for a living in her awful barely-Brit speak. John was a ship’s captain in the British Navy and now lectures on shipping law, which is a really unique job, don’t you think? He’s tall and kinda dapper and seems smart/friendly/funny. Patti likes him for Shonda.
They chat with one guy who seems like a fine, nice guy, but he is not a Donald Trump type. Patti asks him to confirm that he’s not a Donald Trump, and he agrees. Moving on.
Not Donald Trump
I don’t understand what’s happening when one older white guy starts doing weird dance moves all of a sudden, which amuses everyone until he starts pulling out random air-humping, to which Patti says, “no” and that guy is OFF the screen.
Next is a fairly short guy who seems nice and regular. Greg is trying not to laugh as this guy tries to sell Greg on why he is a good match for Angela. He’s a little mealy-mouthed and nerdy, not an alpha male in the least. Patti tells him she’s looking for a shark for Angela, and this guy’s a dolphin. Nay, a guppy. I LOL, even though I saw this bit a few times in the promos already. It’s funny!
One guy’s talking up his day trading money, then talking about how he works with kids in some acting camp or something. He’s got slightly bulgy eyes, though, and Patti doesn’t like him for some reason, so she calls him Lord of the Rings. He stops talking and goes, “Wow…” Yeah, wow. (He DOES look like Smeagol.)
Okay, no, not even close. Sorry, guy, whoever you are.
Patti likes this bearded gent who’s a personal trainer/massage therapist. She keeps referring to him as the “hot guy” for her test, and it’s silly. He’s not hot. He’s attractive, sure, but not a hot guy.
OH MY GOD, then she explains why women like hot men (a-DOY), letting everyone know that women get “greasy goosey-goosey down there.” I just felt vomit at the back of my throat. I do not EVER want anyone, ever, to refer to my hoo-hoo as “greasy.” That’s just vile.
Then there’s this cocky prick dude who looks like Angela’s ex minus half a tube of hair gel. Seriously, they look like brothers. And he’s an asshole. He sells wholesale cars to dealerships or something, claims to live in Malibu, is wearing a shiny purple dress shirt under his suit with a cashmere (?) scarf. It’s LA, lose the stupid scarf. (Wait, it’s LA, that’s why it’s there.)
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