Millionaire Matchmaker Recap: Jimmy Hats (but no hats)

Recaps

By SexyPanda | Saturday, January 26, 2013 | 2:34 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Millionaire Matchmaker, Recaps

Patti hates this perfectionist crap, because it leads someone to pay attention to the wrong shit. Like, looks. Looks are important, but looks also fade. Dumb or sloppy is forever. This guy’s going to be really hard to match. Especially because he refuses to settle for an unorganized woman. Patti’s like, “no one wants to fuck ‘organized’!”

(I stopped here to do more Googling of Jim2, and for a fleeting moment, I thought I unearthed that he was married to Jena Jameson, porn star extraordinaire! But no, that was JAY Grdina. Are Jim and Jay related? That might actually explain a LOT.)

Anyway, they chit-chat a little longer about what he’s actually looking for (blonde, a woman who’s interested in family, etc.), and then we leap immediately into meeting the next bachelor. Who needs segues?

Jim1, AKA James Schramm, CEO of some big-ass entertainment company. Like, movie distribution and whatnot. I Googled it, and I found his IMDB and it’s soooooo TL;DR that I didn’t read it. But the photos are hysterical. There are a few selfies of him all tan and “Whazzap?” and then one of him showing off some abs, somehow. He’s a big guy, I’m surprised that there were abs in there.

Does he think IMDB is PlentyofFish.com??

Anyway, Jim’s talking about how wealthy he is and how awesome that is and what cars he’s got, and then he starts saying something about how he doesn’t lead with his money (O RLY?) and that bequeathing his dollars unto the non-billion-dollared folks “feeds his soul.” As in, he recently gave money to some family of a little girl with cancer, paying all their bills or something. And didn’t take any credit for it. If that’s true, that’s very sweet. He should do that more often and encourage others to do it. Or, ya know, pay more taxes so we don’t all have to go broke treating our medical conditions. Also, him bragging about doing an “unrewarded act of kindness” kinda negates the whole thing a little bit.

The video’s over, now Patti and Jim1 are chatting it out. What happened in his marriage that it failed? Jim1 cites a lack of passion, that it just didn’t have what it needed to keep going. At that point, Patti asks for his hand, and then she slaps it, hard. I hate when she does this childish shit. She’s smacking him for not getting a pre-nup. He shrugs and says, “I’m old fashioned.” That’s kinda sweet, actually. The old-fashionedness, not the stupid hand-slapping.

Patti also smacks Jim1 down a little for the “leading with the money” thing. Like, calls him out for his attempts to deflect it. Jim’s impressed that Patti’s picking up on stuff he hasn’t said but is true about his whole approach to everything. No specifics, he can just tell that she’s got some talent here. (And mock all we do about Patti and her success rate, I really DO think she’s got some talent. She’s just also full of shit.)

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About

Time for an update! I used to be a tall, athletic editor who lived on the East coast. Oh, I still am, only now I've gained back all the weight I lost, which changes my life-tone quite a bit. Now that I'm married, I have a lot less time to watch Bravo and Food network. We usually end up watching Big Bang Theory reruns ("all of my friends, all of my friends, all of my friends") or Wipeout. Or WWE Raw. Wow. How life has changed!  Join me as we chat about my breast friend Patti Stanger and her love minions. Or maybe we'll talk about art during Work of Art. Whatever we're watching, don't be shy--tell me what you think!

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Tmurda
    Posted January 26, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    I, too, hate when Patti calls a girl a “spinner”. I don’t neccessarily think it’s rude, it’s just one of those things (much like the penis-getting-off-the-couch with praying hands raising thing, or the “you can’t go in, in, or in” thing pointing to her vag, butt, then mouth) that Patti came up with and started saying cause she thinks it’s REALLY funny and clever….but it’s not.
    What I DO think is really fucking rude is how she comes off all mamma bear to the women, obsessing over the millionares being gentlemenly, and comforting them when they’ve had a traumatizing date with one by saying “awe! Don’t worry, i’ll set you up with a great guy, promise!”, but she completely uses some auditionees as her little “tests”. Granted, the majority of the women are gold-diggers who will pretend any millionare is interesting and NOT hideous , no matter how un-interesting and disgusting they are, for a shot at his cash, BUT it’s still not ok. Patti has no problem using her “tests”, wasting a signifigant amount of time at an evening at an evening mixer, then a day&night date. I guess Patti only requires the men to show them respect, not herself. Way to show a good “women should be treated like gold” example, Patti!
    I also was annoyed by dude’s claiming the chick had awful table manners. I have seen BAD table manners! Hers were not. At all.
    Racheal and Destin’s name is Sin? Maybe cute little Sin will one day get a baby sister named Rape! So cute.
    Awesome recap!!!

  2. 2
    Tmurda
    Posted January 26, 2013 at 9:55 pm

    *I meant racheal and destin’s KID’S name.

  3. 3
    TallGirl
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 11:30 am

    SexyPanda,
    I did a double-take when I saw this show. I actually used to know Jim2 about 30 years ago. We worked out at the same gym. Back then, he was a cute guy with a good bod and a terrific personality. Don’t know what the heck has happened to him in the intervening years to make him so weird. Maybe because it’s his brother, Jay, that was married to Jenna Jameson, and he sued both of them for defrauding him on money he loaned them for a business venture.
    Saw a blog where Jim2 was dating a “stunning” girl at the time of the filming, did the show as a “favor” to one of the producers whom he knows. His gf knew he was doing the show. Maybe that explains why he picked someone who was an obvious “Fail” and also harder for someone who doesn’t speak English well to call him out on his sh*t. He REEKS of insecurity, and if you check out the Bravo site, Patti’s “theta healer” even tells him that his perfectionism has its roots in insecurity. In a Disney movie, he’d have a woman with 5 unruly kids and multiple pets move in with him to cure him of all his perfectionism. Don’t you feel sorry for his cleaning crew????

  4. 4
    Parker
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    That freak from AZ should have known that the German girl was not for him. For crying out loud, he’s a biz man and can’t even seal the deal with the right woman? Also, what’s with the 20K Q about her coming to the US. Can’t he be creative and ask her about her likes & dislikes, what movies she’s seen lately, where’s she traveled to, what’s her favorite food… etc. Patty thinks that 8-pack Jim learned his lesson? Hello? This guy is a total freak-a-zone. Nope, he’s not learning anything but how to stroke his ego. Selma is cute but her boobs are soooo fake. But, then again… I’m not a dude, so I guess I can’t really have an opinion about that, right? Right? Right! The real winner is Patty. Go Patty go…

  5. 5
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 8:38 am

    Hola sexy panda! Glad to have you back, and it was my pleasure filling in! So funny the way you pronounced ay dios mio, but I have to say I mispronounced EVERYTHING in Spanish, but now I have a Spanish husband to set me straight in all things Latino.

    This show is so great in a trainwreck sorta way. Love it!

    Keep up the LOL’s!

  6. 6
    DJ
    Posted January 31, 2013 at 8:22 am

    @Tmurda – The German girl looked like a little kid learning to use a knife and fork for the first time. She held the fork in a weird way and picked up the knife by the blade instead of the handle.

  7. 7
    Parker
    Posted January 31, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    Yeah, actually I agree she looked a bit awkward holding the knife and fork. Germans use the knife and fork differently than in the US, but she did not hold them in the German manner. I have no idea what she was trying to do. May be she was just insecure or clueless about what to do.

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