Millionaire Matchmaker Recap: Jimmy Hats (but no hats)

Recaps

By SexyPanda | Saturday, January 26, 2013 | 2:34 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Millionaire Matchmaker, Recaps

Jim1 meets with exotic/weird Erica first. They’re doing the regular first-date chit-chat. Jim asks if she’s been married before, and she’s like, “No, never been married, never been in love….” Never been in love?! RUN, Jim, RUN. It goes downhill from there. She can barely maintain eye contact with him, and she’s clearly self-absorbed. When he asks, “What do you want to know about me?,” she balks. Doesn’t know what to say. Now I’m the world’s worst interviewer, am really bad at asking people questions, but I know how to small talk a first date. Jesus.

Weird-skulled Mindy meets up with Jim2 for their minidate. They seem to have a fun conversation with a little banter, despite Jim2’s wooden demeanor. She asks why he’s still available, since he seems to be a catch. He stares her down with his creepy Skeletor face, telling her that he’s been in a number of long-term relationships, thankyouverymuch, but he’s still looking for the right woman. Mindy giggles. Poor thing. They end their chat with dualing pec flexes. It’s ridiculous, and not in the way I usually love.

This is a little better than Jim1, but not much.

Jim1 and Selma have a nice minidate, talking about playing badminton, of all things. He asks her if she’d do karaoke in front of a crowd, and she’s like, “Yep, I would!” (Erica would definitely not. No fun.) Jim1 is all huge smiles when he’s talking with her. Cute.

After the minidates conclude, Patti checks in to see how it all went down. Jim2 is horrible, saying that Nasia has trouble expressing herself. Well, that’s because English is still a fairly new language for her. He knew that going into this, not fair to ding her for it. (Also, I just realized that Jim2 is sportin’ the flesh beard. Flesh beard is gross.) But he felt like Mindy was talking about her boobs too much. Huh? Patti’s just worried that he’s going back to his perfectionist ways, and he assures her that he’s not. He’s considering everything.

Patti doesn’t chat long with Jim1 because it’s so fucking obvious who he wants to go on the master date with. Right?

Back in front of all the girls, Patti announces who’s going on the master dates. Jim1 picked Selma, of course. And Jim2 picked…Nasia! The beautiful dummy who can’t communicate! Great job!

Ugh, as much as I’m enjoying picking on the nuance that is my dislike for Skeletor, I am just not into this episode tonight. Anyone else? I planned to cut way back on drinking, but I could tell this was getting a little dry, so I poured myself a glass of cake vodka and diet coke. Hope it gets better for ya! Sorry!

In the “We’re Back! No, We’re Not!” break this week, a poor girl tells Patti, Rachel, and Destin during the auditions that she’s a comedian. They her to break out into her routine, and she does some really sad bit about her mom wanting to set her up on dates or something. It’s no good. For her, for them, or for us. Thanks, Bravo.

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About

Time for an update! I used to be a tall, athletic editor who lived on the East coast. Oh, I still am, only now I've gained back all the weight I lost, which changes my life-tone quite a bit. Now that I'm married, I have a lot less time to watch Bravo and Food network. We usually end up watching Big Bang Theory reruns ("all of my friends, all of my friends, all of my friends") or Wipeout. Or WWE Raw. Wow. How life has changed!  Join me as we chat about my breast friend Patti Stanger and her love minions. Or maybe we'll talk about art during Work of Art. Whatever we're watching, don't be shy--tell me what you think!

7 Comments

  1. 1
    Tmurda
    Posted January 26, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    I, too, hate when Patti calls a girl a “spinner”. I don’t neccessarily think it’s rude, it’s just one of those things (much like the penis-getting-off-the-couch with praying hands raising thing, or the “you can’t go in, in, or in” thing pointing to her vag, butt, then mouth) that Patti came up with and started saying cause she thinks it’s REALLY funny and clever….but it’s not.
    What I DO think is really fucking rude is how she comes off all mamma bear to the women, obsessing over the millionares being gentlemenly, and comforting them when they’ve had a traumatizing date with one by saying “awe! Don’t worry, i’ll set you up with a great guy, promise!”, but she completely uses some auditionees as her little “tests”. Granted, the majority of the women are gold-diggers who will pretend any millionare is interesting and NOT hideous , no matter how un-interesting and disgusting they are, for a shot at his cash, BUT it’s still not ok. Patti has no problem using her “tests”, wasting a signifigant amount of time at an evening at an evening mixer, then a day&night date. I guess Patti only requires the men to show them respect, not herself. Way to show a good “women should be treated like gold” example, Patti!
    I also was annoyed by dude’s claiming the chick had awful table manners. I have seen BAD table manners! Hers were not. At all.
    Racheal and Destin’s name is Sin? Maybe cute little Sin will one day get a baby sister named Rape! So cute.
    Awesome recap!!!

  2. 2
    Tmurda
    Posted January 26, 2013 at 9:55 pm

    *I meant racheal and destin’s KID’S name.

  3. 3
    TallGirl
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 11:30 am

    SexyPanda,
    I did a double-take when I saw this show. I actually used to know Jim2 about 30 years ago. We worked out at the same gym. Back then, he was a cute guy with a good bod and a terrific personality. Don’t know what the heck has happened to him in the intervening years to make him so weird. Maybe because it’s his brother, Jay, that was married to Jenna Jameson, and he sued both of them for defrauding him on money he loaned them for a business venture.
    Saw a blog where Jim2 was dating a “stunning” girl at the time of the filming, did the show as a “favor” to one of the producers whom he knows. His gf knew he was doing the show. Maybe that explains why he picked someone who was an obvious “Fail” and also harder for someone who doesn’t speak English well to call him out on his sh*t. He REEKS of insecurity, and if you check out the Bravo site, Patti’s “theta healer” even tells him that his perfectionism has its roots in insecurity. In a Disney movie, he’d have a woman with 5 unruly kids and multiple pets move in with him to cure him of all his perfectionism. Don’t you feel sorry for his cleaning crew????

  4. 4
    Parker
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    That freak from AZ should have known that the German girl was not for him. For crying out loud, he’s a biz man and can’t even seal the deal with the right woman? Also, what’s with the 20K Q about her coming to the US. Can’t he be creative and ask her about her likes & dislikes, what movies she’s seen lately, where’s she traveled to, what’s her favorite food… etc. Patty thinks that 8-pack Jim learned his lesson? Hello? This guy is a total freak-a-zone. Nope, he’s not learning anything but how to stroke his ego. Selma is cute but her boobs are soooo fake. But, then again… I’m not a dude, so I guess I can’t really have an opinion about that, right? Right? Right! The real winner is Patty. Go Patty go…

  5. 5
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted January 30, 2013 at 8:38 am

    Hola sexy panda! Glad to have you back, and it was my pleasure filling in! So funny the way you pronounced ay dios mio, but I have to say I mispronounced EVERYTHING in Spanish, but now I have a Spanish husband to set me straight in all things Latino.

    This show is so great in a trainwreck sorta way. Love it!

    Keep up the LOL’s!

  6. 6
    DJ
    Posted January 31, 2013 at 8:22 am

    @Tmurda – The German girl looked like a little kid learning to use a knife and fork for the first time. She held the fork in a weird way and picked up the knife by the blade instead of the handle.

  7. 7
    Parker
    Posted January 31, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    Yeah, actually I agree she looked a bit awkward holding the knife and fork. Germans use the knife and fork differently than in the US, but she did not hold them in the German manner. I have no idea what she was trying to do. May be she was just insecure or clueless about what to do.

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