Jim1 meets with exotic/weird Erica first. They’re doing the regular first-date chit-chat. Jim asks if she’s been married before, and she’s like, “No, never been married, never been in love….” Never been in love?! RUN, Jim, RUN. It goes downhill from there. She can barely maintain eye contact with him, and she’s clearly self-absorbed. When he asks, “What do you want to know about me?,” she balks. Doesn’t know what to say. Now I’m the world’s worst interviewer, am really bad at asking people questions, but I know how to small talk a first date. Jesus.
Weird-skulled Mindy meets up with Jim2 for their minidate. They seem to have a fun conversation with a little banter, despite Jim2’s wooden demeanor. She asks why he’s still available, since he seems to be a catch. He stares her down with his creepy Skeletor face, telling her that he’s been in a number of long-term relationships, thankyouverymuch, but he’s still looking for the right woman. Mindy giggles. Poor thing. They end their chat with dualing pec flexes. It’s ridiculous, and not in the way I usually love.
This is a little better than Jim1, but not much.
Jim1 and Selma have a nice minidate, talking about playing badminton, of all things. He asks her if she’d do karaoke in front of a crowd, and she’s like, “Yep, I would!” (Erica would definitely not. No fun.) Jim1 is all huge smiles when he’s talking with her. Cute.
After the minidates conclude, Patti checks in to see how it all went down. Jim2 is horrible, saying that Nasia has trouble expressing herself. Well, that’s because English is still a fairly new language for her. He knew that going into this, not fair to ding her for it. (Also, I just realized that Jim2 is sportin’ the flesh beard. Flesh beard is gross.) But he felt like Mindy was talking about her boobs too much. Huh? Patti’s just worried that he’s going back to his perfectionist ways, and he assures her that he’s not. He’s considering everything.
Patti doesn’t chat long with Jim1 because it’s so fucking obvious who he wants to go on the master date with. Right?
Back in front of all the girls, Patti announces who’s going on the master dates. Jim1 picked Selma, of course. And Jim2 picked…Nasia! The beautiful dummy who can’t communicate! Great job!
Ugh, as much as I’m enjoying picking on the nuance that is my dislike for Skeletor, I am just not into this episode tonight. Anyone else? I planned to cut way back on drinking, but I could tell this was getting a little dry, so I poured myself a glass of cake vodka and diet coke. Hope it gets better for ya! Sorry!
In the “We’re Back! No, We’re Not!” break this week, a poor girl tells Patti, Rachel, and Destin during the auditions that she’s a comedian. They her to break out into her routine, and she does some really sad bit about her mom wanting to set her up on dates or something. It’s no good. For her, for them, or for us. Thanks, Bravo.