Hola ‘Gasmii! Remember Patti? And Destin and Rachel? And, most importantly, do you remember me?! Your faithful Millionaire Matchmaker recapper is back! And it feels so good. Oh yeah, and I’m back because the show is back for its sixth season. You thought it was dead? You thought wrong, buddy!
Let’s hop right back into it.
I can’t believe it’s already been a year since the last season. Remember that Season 4 was in New York City, and last season, she came back to good ol’ LA. Honestly, her brand of matchmaking works much better in Lala Land. We also get more to make fun of, I think.
The good news is that the show hasn’t changed format one lick for this new season. We still have the random opening bit, which could be about Patti personally (remember when she was planning her own wedding with Lump?), or it could be spazzy stuff about Destin and Rachel. Then we swoosh right into a 30-second introduction to the two millionaires featured this week. Then we get the two extended intros, auditioning the dates, the mixer, the minidates, and the master dates. Don’t forget that Bravo loves to throw in that little DVR confuser about 2/3 of the way through the show. I call it the “We’re Back! No, We’re Not!” segment.
To open Season 6, Patti reminds us of all that is good and holy in LA, namely rich and/or very attractive people. Oh, there are also mountains and beaches along with a downtown city vibe. Whatevs. She recaps the last season for us, and–oh yeah!–there was that prince, and that guy who did the ice-cold date, and Patti getting her own mixer! Remember that old dude who was totally creepy on their date?
We also get a quick recap of Destin and Rachel’s wedding. The photos they show make me laugh, because they’re very Rachel and Destin. (Remember, they named their son “Sin.”) Rachel’s birdcage veil is fabulous and totally matches her retro/goth style, and Destin’s mohawk is at Wayne Static levels. Which, if you know who Wayne Static is, is ridiculous.
Yeah, ‘dja push it?!
Patti mentions a 30 lb weight loss, and I’m like, “Again?? Or is she harping on the 30 lb weight loss from two years ago still?” What do you guys think? Sensa made her say it?
Oh, and Rachel’s not rocking the curler-bang anymore. She’s a dyed redhead now, with a distinctly Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B vibe (and some pretty obvious roots). It suits her, and it’s definitely better than the red bangs on black braids. Destin’s got more of a faux-hawk now, with the sides more grown in. Eh.
Oh yeah, I remember this about writing recaps–I tend to get myself bogged down. MOVING ON.