Patti warms to mommy and includes her less grotesquely in the chatter. She asks Brian about his former marriage, then turns to mom to ask if mom liked the ex-wife. Mom says nothing, which is all she needed to say. She and Patti will be trading bras and doing each others’ french braids in no time.
Oh yuck, Patti asks Brian in a terrible British accent if he’s a tit, ass, or leg man. (The answer is: legs, then tits, then ass.) He’s embarrassed to answer in front of mummy, but hey, that’s what you get for bringing your mom along to meet a matchmaker.
Why love now? Brian doesn’t really answer this correctly. He explains that he knows Patti is the best, and he wants the best. Right, that’s why you came to Patti. But why are you actively seeking a relationship? oh, that’s right, because you’re needy and hate being alone. Mom tells Patti to find a nice girl who’s not an attorney (zing against the ex, I guess!), with no hang-ups, who comes from a nice, big family.
Patti’s last question for Brian is about his ability to adhere to the “no sex before monogamy” rule. “Can Morning Wood handle that?” Brian answers for Morning Wood anthropomorphically, saying the boat can handle anything it puts its mind to.
Patti’s carted off to meet our other gent for the evening. Remember when Patti started getting driven around in NYC? Now she’s too good to hunch over her baby Beemer steering wheel like she used to. I miss that.
Daniel Negreanu meets with Patti at a hotel, and we leap right into his extended intro. He’s a Canadian native who now lives in Vegas. He’s apparently really, really good at poker. He’s got a nice house with lots of toys, but he wants to do the whole married/kids thing now. It sounds like the last chick he was with used him, where he was totally in love with her and she was…not. And apparently stepped out on him too. That’s awful. People are awful.
And Bravo didn’t give me many photos to work with, sorry for the wall o’ text!
So Daniel needs a bubbly girl with lots of personality who’s also genuine and won’t dick him around like that. But I’m sure he’s got a chip on his shoulder about it all, which won’t help. Patti’s already seen this, and she wants to change that about Daniel to get him on board with finding a true connection–while at his best.
Why love now? Daniel’s got everything else sorted out, and he thinks he knows now what he wants to find in a lady, but he wants Patti’s help to be sure he’s on the right track. She confirms what he’s looking for (“if I could Weird Science someone for you, who would it be?”), then lets him know that she’s going to set him up with an astrologer to help guide him. Daniel seems skeptical. Also, he blinks exaggeratedly a lot. That must be a tic that comes because he otherwise has to keep such a poker face during tournaments.