Patti lords over the crowd of girls before bringing out the men. She asks the women to repeat her golden rule after her: No Sex before Monogamy!!! She’s so pleased to hear it all shouted back at her. “Do I have them trained or what?” Okay, EGO.
Okay, so here are the dudes. Go mingle! Destin pulls Daniel aside because he’s talking too much about himself. Daniel’s very self-aware and totally takes this constructive criticism well. Brian seems to be doing well enough with the chatter.
Earlier, the astrologer had told Daniel to look for the girl who’s NOT out to sell him, who’s not in his face with direct approach. He should look for the girl who’s hanging back a little, but interested. In this conversation, that girl would be Lindsay. Cody’s the one who’s out to sell him. She asks what he’s looking for, then when he explains what he wants, she holds out her hand for a shake, “Hi, nice to meet you.” Noted.
Brian’s having a good chat with Jady, and later Carrie. But there’s not a whole lot to note about either woman or either conversation. Brian’s boring, other than the Arthur/Morning Wood/Mommy dating angle.
So who do these guys want to date? Brian wants Jady and the girl with the freckles (Carrie). Daniel would like to talk more to Lindsay and Cody.
Time for mini-dates! Brian meets with Carrie first, and it’s just about a total bomb. He doesn’t get (or care) about her Michigan anecdotes, and he doesn’t even pretend to be conversationally interested in her hobbies (partner dancing??). Yikes. Well, there’s no beating around the bush.
Speaking of bush, in Daniel’s mini-date with Cody, she brags about being a party girl, hanging out on the pole, etc. Yuck. Not the right approach.
Jady and Brian hit it off much better, especially once Jady mentions that her softball team’s name is Morning Wood! She’s also a farmer girl, from a good family, everything Brian’s mother was looking for. Blech, that’s gross to write out.
Daniel and Lindsay have a really nice chat, about her childhood and then about her job. They’re just hitting a groove about doing karaoke together when Patti interrupts. The choice is obvious, but Daniel acts like it’s a hard decision.
Well, it was obvious, right? Daniel picked Lindsay for the master date, and Brian picked Jady. Yup.
I was just about to say, “Okay, let’s get to the master dates, shall we?” when the “We’re Back! No, We’re Not!” segment arrived! This time, it’s Patti hosting a dating seminar at the Millionaire’s Club. One of the women hits on Rachel, who gets really, really embarrassed.
Let’s get to the master dates, shall we?
Brian’s hosting Jady on the Morning Wood. He’s wearing the most Dad outfit there ever was. Seriously, I think my 70-something dad has his shirt. But whatever, he’s only 40! (BULLSHIT.) They head out on the boat to Catalina, but then an engine blew. Bravo keeps showing the same exact plume of smoke over and over again like the boat is going horribly wrong. It’s ridiculous. Back to them in a minute.