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So the dates are over, we’re back to the Millionaire’s Club, where Patti’s calling Daniel to get the intel. They’re Skyping/Facetalking/whatever, and oh, hey, there’s Lindsay! Patti’s like, “Wait a sec, you can’t give it away for free, missy!” She forces Daniel to ask Lindsay to be exclusive, and Lindsay agrees, and they smooch. Aww. Nookie forever.
Patti calls Jady, who’s got a terrible connection. She explains the boat trouble and the voms, and then makes it clear that she wants to see Brian again. Patti calls Brian in to chat in person, and he’s wearing another Dad shirt. He likes Jady a lot, too, so Patti coaches him into calling her again for Date 2. She does the whole penis drawbridge motion that I love so much. Yay!
Captions of Truth, what say ye? Daniel and Lindsay are “still going strong”! Yay! Brian and Jady are also still dating! Supposedly! Well, that’s fun.
This season! Lots of bimbos and himbos! Horseback riding, speed skating, sky-diving, portrait artisting…lots of Patti-isms, advice, weird comments to gay guys, and talk about cocks. And I think Patti gets engaged? Again? Oh, and then the rage montage! YAY!!! I love when Patti goes apeshit for no super-good reason! Oh, and someone comes to her to say she found Patti’s birth mom and Patti’s so Botoxed, she can’t cry! Will you come back and watch this with me, ‘Gasmii? I’d be so thrilled!!
(Someone else will be filling in for me next week, friends, as I am going on my honeymoon! That’s right, this old fire-crotch bitch found a man and got hitched. Hooray! See you on the 24th!)