Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Destin’s millionaire this week is an –ess. Her name is Aimee, a 49-year-old two-time divorcee from Vegas. She’s very direct and doesn’t wear makeup, her hair’s a little flat, and her voice is a little deep. She’s super skinny. She’s a real estate investor who currently owns 24 houses. That’s a lot of houses! She also just wrote and published a book about becoming a millionaire. Self-published, I’m sure.
This chick’s schtick is that she doesn’t like to be touched. More specifically, she doesn’t want a first date thinking he has rights to paw at her. So no first kiss, no sex before monogamy (Patti would be proud), but not even a little electric flirt? Just a simple knee bump or arm-touch conveys a TON on a first date. Such a shame she’s so cold and closed off. Patti knows the no-touching rule is just a control thing, which she’ll have to work to break.
Patti heads right out to meet Matt at some chicken-and-waffles joint. Matt’s already seated, digging into a big plate of grub. He’s got a purple velvet blazer on, and it’s not good. He also apparently gave a weak handshake, so Patti makes him do it again, telling him “this is the cock, make it hard.” Wow. Well, my apologies for suggesting in last week’s recap that he might be gay, but can you see how I got to that conclusion?
Immediate swooshing into the extended video intro!! Matt Riviera, net worth of 5.5 million. We see him standing amongst his cars in his driveway and pushing up his glasses atop a pile of crushed rock. Ha! We see more clips of him wrestling, and the black onesie is a much better look for him. We see some wacky posed wrestling-ish photos of him in a suit while he rattles off his glorified descriptors (“ladies’ man, an international playboy, the loverboy,” etc.) I think he’s kinda adorable as he makes a smoothie in his kitchen whilst wearing a leopard print robe and his glasses. He’s not blending NOXplode, is he?? Bad news, dude! That shit is unstable (says my husband, who makes crazy sounds as he chokes his down before every workout).
Once you go Matt, you’ll never go back. So he says.
Eh, we’ll see.
Back to the restaurant, Patti and Matt are chatting it out. He’s wearing a weird/ugly necklace, by the way. Isn’t that the one I lost at Busch Gardens when I was 12? I think it is! Thanks for finding it and keeping it safe, Matt!
Anyway, Patti’s skeptical of Matt’s whole 24/7 ladies’ man routine, noting that men who actually do sleep around like that don’t go bragging about it. She’s right! So what’s the deal? He explains that there’s the entertainer and then there’s the real him. Right. And…? Patti don’t curr about the entertainer, she needs to get to know the real him. Why is she fixing him up? You can tell he was coached to say, “It’s time I settle down,” because it doesn’t come out naturally. And what 29 year old man who’s in wrestling and wearing leopard print robes around the house wants to lock down just one vagina for all time? None I know!