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Anyway, Matt goes along with the “settling down” concept for a spell, telling Patti he wants to spill his seed into a fertile womb to create more Matts in the world. And he wants a stay at home wife who’s not lazy. Charming! When Patti asks what type of girl Matt wants, he says he’s usually most successful with the sweeter girls. No one aggressive, please. Patti promises to give him someone sweet as long as he promises to tone down Wrestler Matt.
“Romance in Arkansas is a Jacuzzi, a bottle of Patron, and some Subway cookies.” Hahahah. Those cookies are pretty awesome. “ Then he goes off in a wrestling tangent, about Loverboy, Mr. 5.5 “that’s net worth, not inches!!” (as he points two fingers in a cock-like way up near his face).
Comin’ at ya, ladies
Matt gets cocky with Patti, making a joke about how he won’t be able to control himself in a room full of attractive women. She’s like, “I know you’re putting on an act, I need you to grow up.” Well, not quite, but she asks him to be as Southern Gentlemanly as he can muster.
The other millionaire, Aimee, meets Patti at the office. I’m curious if Patti will try to out-alpha this control freak by sitting her in front of the desk and being stern, or if she’ll try to really get close and warm with her. We’ll see in a minute, first it’s the big ol’ video intro!
Meet Aimee Elizabeth, almost 50, real estate investor and author. Her book, “Povery Sucks! Plus subtitle about becoming a millionaire,” is apparently well-rated on Amazon. How about that? I read some of the reviews, and it sounds like the book is exactly what we’d expect—part self-help/motivational speaking, part memoir, and part how-to. Most people speak well of it. But it seems like Aimee made her money in real estate, right? Not this crappy-ish book.
Aimee tells us she doesn’t lead a frivolous life, and that is certainly true. She seems to have a nice home, but it’s so cold on the inside. All beige and no life. But all is forgiven when I see her sweet little kitty cat! The editors ham up the crazy cat lady angle, of course, but considering I spent 20 minutes kissing my own cats into oblivion before sitting down to write this, I don’t care. I’m crazy. Aimee is crazy. It’s all good.
Aimee has tried all the internet dating sites to no avail. She’s been single for the past five years, ouch. But it’s not helping that she’s all “don’t touch me.” Really not helping. But Aimee inexplicably likes to dance! With her partners! Her last marriage failed because the guy wasn’t a dancer. Well, what in the fuck is that about? My WTF is of two minds. 1) why marry the guy if he’s not into dancing? And 2) why is dancing SUCH A BIG DEAL? It’s so weird. Oh, by the way, she likes to dance “freestyle.” No touching. So why did it even matter? SO WEIRD.
Oh, she was just petting a turtle. Yep, that sums it all up for this chick. PETTING A TURTLE.