Bell! Matt eliminates Esther, the other sister, because she’s a stand-up comedian. He doesn’t like that. Aimee sacks the younger guy.
Then we get a montage of the bell ringing. The other stand-up girl is gone, then the model/actress chick, then the squinchy-faced little one I didn’t mention from the casting session. Aimee eliminates the carpenter Jesus (who looks like a member of Erasure, if you ask me) because he likes dogs. REALLY? He’s like, “THANK YOU.”
Together we’ll be, my baby, break the chains of love!
So Aimee’s left with Paolo and Ken. Matt will choose between Vanessa and Shelise. Time for mini-dates!
Shelise and Matt meet up first, and it’s not too bad. She seems really sweet, and reading her weird facial cues is interesting. They talk about her goals in life, about her ability to cook, and just about nothing about Matt. But that seems right, if he’s doing the picking.
Ken and Aimee meet first, and he seems like a pretty decent guy. His internet business? It’s something with adding on a charitable contribution when you get your friend a gift card through his site. That’s pretty nice. Aimee converses normally, but you know she doesn’t like Ken and wants to pick Paolo, so moving on.
Vanessa and Matt have a good chat on their mini-date. Like, they seem more natural, and Vanessa’s actually a small-town girl. She’s got lots of tats, but she feels like she’s got good values from going up in the Midwest. Matt asks if she’d cover up the tattoos to meet his mom. She smiles and agrees. If you’re asking me, I think he should pick her.
Aimee and Paolo get to chat. I wonder if Patti coached him to touch Aimee a lot on the mini-date, because he is. He taps her knee to punctuate a joke, and let’s not forget the cheek kiss he offered when he first walked in. He’s only 36? He looks older than that. I think it’s the too-long Andy Garcia in “When a Man Loves a Woman” hair. Sorry, friend.
Anyway, I wonder if Aimee feels better about the touching because she’s not at a bar or officially on a date. Like, Patti set it up so it’s safe? She doesn’t seem to be too disturbed. As she said, “I came here prepared to be touched.” HAHAHAHA Paolo keeps talking in this weird affected voice that’s TOO EXCITED! And it’s weird.
So who’d they choose? Matt picked Shelise! And, of course, Aimee picked Paolo.
In the “We’re Back! No, We’re Not!” segment this week, we get treated to the full Matt Riviera sales pitch. It’s all footage of him wrestling and him talkin’ up his manliness. They cut between him doing his schtick (“a man who knows how to dress…a man who knows how to count money..”) (wait, there are men who don’t know how to count money? This schtick is schtupid.) and Patti going, “bullshit! Bullshit bullshit bullshit.”