Millionaire Matchmaker Recap: Touchin’ and Wrasslin’

Recaps

By SexyPanda | Friday, February 22, 2013 | 9:00 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Millionaire Matchmaker, Recaps

Time for the big bad master dates!

Aimee, in a low-cut red dress that shows off all the ribs that God gave her, meets Paolo at a dance studio. “I’ll enjoy if he touches me,” she declares. They do some salsa dancing or something. Paolo still has Andy Garcia hair, but he trimmed his facial hair to a goatee. I liked the beard better.

They dance. Paolo makes jokes about Aimee leading. She grimaces in a rictus grin the whole time. So sexy. And EW, her feet are way too big for her shoes, GROSS. What does Tyra call that, bologna sandwich? The toes touching the FLOOR as she dances??! Ew. I know she’s tall, but *I* am tall and my fucking feet don’t touch the floor when I’m wearing shoes. Gross.

Over to Matt and Shelise. Matt’s busy making a trail of Skittles for Shelise, which is adorable. And I love that HE’S actually doing it, not some poor PA. Looks like it was annoying and time-consuming. Shelise loves it. He’s wearing a cut-off t-shirt (no sleeves, not a belly shirt, ha!) and camo pants. That’s because they’re going to do yoga! That’s not a bad date idea, as long as the woman is relatively confidant.

So they head in, get changed (Shelise only, Matt’s doing this in that ratty t-shirt), and get to flowin’. Shelise is a natural and Matt’s struggling. That’s kinda sweet, to put himself in a vulnerable-ish position. Is he acting, though? And this is an excuse to see how flexible she is, isn’t it?

I like this Shelise chick a lot more today than at the mixer. She seems cute and smart and fun, not terribly annoying. They chat after yoga, over snacks, about growing up and whatnot. Shelise’s dad is in construction, so she knows about that a bit, and she knows how to fish. Matt appears to be impressed!

Back to Aimee and Paolo. Paolo is way overacting, and it’s really annoying. He’s all 110% about every reaction he has. TOO MUCH. Aimee doesn’t seem to care, really thinks he’s into her, I think. It’s one of those sad, empty restaurant dates, too. She seems to keep turning him down on every topic. Does she like the ocean? No. Does she share his wine passion? No. Hard ass. Paolo cuts the date short.

Matt and Shelise head to dinner, too. They seem to have a nice time, talking about high school and stuff. The restaurant seems to be more lively, at least. They talk about her dad, especially now that he (dad) is texting her during dinner. Matt wants to talk to him. This is wrestler Matt coming out a bit, but he calls Shelise’s dad to tell him he’s got her out to dinner and will take care of her. And that he wants to go hunting with him—just be careful about where he aims that gun.

Oh, he asked about date #2 while still on date #1, that’s always an awesome sign. She’s into it, so they’re in! A successful match by Patti! Hooray!

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About

Time for an update! I used to be a tall, athletic editor who lived on the East coast. Oh, I still am, only now I've gained back all the weight I lost, which changes my life-tone quite a bit. Now that I'm married, I have a lot less time to watch Bravo and Food network. We usually end up watching Big Bang Theory reruns ("all of my friends, all of my friends, all of my friends") or Wipeout. Or WWE Raw. Wow. How life has changed!  Join me as we chat about my breast friend Patti Stanger and her love minions. Or maybe we'll talk about art during Work of Art. Whatever we're watching, don't be shy--tell me what you think!

12 Comments

  1. 1
    Wendy
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    This episode was cute. I thought Matt should have picked the other girl, but it looks like he got along well with his date.

    Definitely looking forward to next week’s episode. Looks like it’s going to be a train wreck!

  2. 2
    Jaime Sommers
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Did anyone else get a “in 30 years” tall praying mantis Ann from America’s Next Top Model vibe? Ann was the super tall super awkward deep-voiced model who had zero sexual energy. I got the same thing from Aimee–Some people just give off a neutered stuffed animal feeling to me. Poor lady :(

    Great recap Sexy Panda! Also, I’m a completely straight female, but I think you’re very pretty!

    I can’t wait to see Robin next week. Her sloppy fat date with Luke the Plumber was discomfort GOLD

  3. 3
    L Chienne
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 7:00 am

    lol re Ann. She was surprised every time she won, though. Very humble. Aimee was painful to watch because she thought she was sexy and deserving of hot men. ::shivers::

  4. 4
    Casey
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 8:29 am

    Matt’s line about the jacuzzi, patron, and subway cookies made me laugh out loud.

    I also am soooo excited for next week. just looking at that picture of her huge smile with no lips makes me laugh

  5. 5
    Claire
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    The story about your co worker was hilarious

  6. 6
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    @Sexy Panda ROFL Too bad your co worker’s not a millionaire. It sounds like he’d be a great episode. If Patti didn’t pull a Zolciak and yank her mike off and run out hollering.

    When Aimee 1st started going on about boys touching her I had to go slap my rusted out old gaydar a couple of times in case it was trying to beep.

    But after she talked about it some more I got it. She’s been mostly going on 1st dates with boys she’s not really attracted to. And everybody knows how awkward that is. If somebody that’s been auto-friendzoned from the get go so much as holds your hand.

    The wrestler kind of reminded me of Sean from the Bachelor. Not his looks. But the old ways he keeps. The girl he picked was probably the closest Patti could come up with.

    I can’t wait for the return of Hello Kitty next week!

  7. 7
    TNTlover
    Posted February 23, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    I CANNOT wait for the return of Hello Kitty. My hubbie and I still quote, \Maserati, Dukati…\.

  8. 8
    NatPatBen
    Posted February 24, 2013 at 6:27 am

    You have beautiful eyes!

    When the bell rang, they were saying any non-physical reason to get rid of who they didn’t want, I think… even if that reason isn’t actually something that’s a negative to them.

    I thought her choice of shoe was odd for a dancing date. Those shoes did not look comfortable for dancing. Also, her style of dress bares too much.

    I find the Hello Kitty woman cringe-worthy.

  9. 9
    SexyPanda
    Posted February 24, 2013 at 7:00 am

    Thanks, everyone!

    I should have added to the coworker tale that he likes to answer, when asked how he’s doing, “Livin’ the dream.” Oh, yeah? Your dream entails driving a broke-ass POS and creeping girls out? Awesome for you! Living the dream. Stupid.

    I hope Aimee got something from this. I remember being paralyzed earlier in my dating days about the first kiss. For a while, it was this great white whale that freaked me the fuck out and made me awful on dates. Then I somehow got over it and dating turned into no big deal. Maybe Aimee’s on her way…

  10. 10
    whorewatcher
    Posted February 24, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    Such a great recap! And LOVED the co-worker story. Everybody has worked with/met a guy like that at some point. I worked with a guy who would never just say, “I’m going to the gym.” It was always, “Going to LIFT today.” Sheesh.

  11. 11
    Jason
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 11:50 am

    Aimee struck me as a socially awkward dork with the sex appeal of day old chicken mcnuggets. The way she referred to reestyle dancing as if it were some well-known genre was sad and pathetic.

  12. 12
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted February 25, 2013 at 9:25 pm

    @SexyPanda I know what you mean. What I used to do was take refuge in the friendly kiss both cheeks custom. Whether it was a date or not.

    That way if I’d friend zoned the guy, when he moved in, I’d grab him and give him the same double cheeks kiss he’d seen me give girls, boys, Drag Queens and their Auntie MeeMaw.

    But have one foot already back, so right after the kiss you just shift your weight, twirl, wave, smile big and in the door!

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