Mini-Cap: Next Food Network Star

Recaps

By SexyPanda | Monday, June 6, 2011 | 10:37 am | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Food Network Star, MiniCaps, Recaps

Capture6Oh good, Ginger Douche and Big-Head Not-Natalie Portman are back!

 

It’s time for another summertime classic, the search for the Next Food Network Star!

It’s a two-hour season opener, in which we spend the first hour meeting the contestants and the second hour agonizing over 10-second TV spots and signature dishes.  Pretty standard stuff for our first eppy.

First we meet Eddard Stark, who’s been charged with treason and is confined to the dungeon in King’s Landing.  Flipit stops by to give him some water, but otherwise, he’s left to rot there in his misery.  Sansa tries to suck up to Joffrey and Cersei, but she does it pretty poorly.  Arya hightails it as Fred Armison fights the knights who arrive to take Arya away.  Meanwhile, the wight walkers arrive at the Wall, and Jon Snow is concerned.  Robb Stark heads south to kick some ass.

Oh wait, sorry.  Clearly, I was watching Game of Thrones at 9PM instead of learning who Howie, Penny, Jyll, and Jaboo (? What’s his name?)  are.  But no worries!  I’ll learn ALLLL about ‘em in time for the big recap!  I CAN tell you now that at least one of those aforementioned chefs was bad on camera, and one had frightening eyebrows, and one went home.

Come back!  We’ll tawk!

About

Time for an update! I used to be a tall, athletic editor who lived on the East coast. Oh, I still am, only now I've gained back all the weight I lost, which changes my life-tone quite a bit. Now that I'm married, I have a lot less time to watch Bravo and Food network. We usually end up watching Big Bang Theory reruns ("all of my friends, all of my friends, all of my friends") or Wipeout. Or WWE Raw. Wow. How life has changed!  Join me as we chat about my breast friend Patti Stanger and her love minions. Or maybe we'll talk about art during Work of Art. Whatever we're watching, don't be shy--tell me what you think!

14 Comments

  1. 1
    Bioscotto
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 10:51 am

    I was wondering if someone was going to be recapping this show! Glad to see you, SP! I look forward to the recap (if you want to mix Game of Thrones in all the time, that’s cool…now THERE’S a recap worth reading! Next Game of Thrones Star!)

  2. 2
    SexyPanda
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Ha, yay! I may not be able to help myself! Though the GoT/NFNS conflict only has two more weeks to go, right?

  3. 3
    LAC
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 10:59 am

    Please, please get some screen shots of the overtanned sex beast and blondie McCry Face – their bitchy interactions were funny…

  4. 4
    SexyPanda
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 11:06 am

    You got it!

  5. 5
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Ah, gosh. On the one hand, I’m happy to see someone will recap this show. On the other hand, I’m kind of dreading it because it seems it’s being recapped by someone who’s not interested in the show, so now I’m kind of dodgy there. Must be because I seem to be the only person in existance who couldn’t care less about Game of Thrones. lol

  6. 6
    SexyPanda
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    I’m a HUGE Food Network fan, no worries! (But tell me, are YOU watching Arti’s Party? Or Melissa D’arabian’s $10 show? I think the only success to come from this summer contest is Guy Fieri, and that’s a tepid definition of success!)

  7. 7
    Chris Velazquez
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    My work schedule, unfortunately, prevents me from watching the early Saturday and Sunday shows, so I have not watched Aarti and Melissa as often as I would want, just like Claire’s 5 ingredients show and Anne’s dessert first show. That being said, the few times I have managed to see them, I’ve enjoyed them, and want to watch them more.

    But yeah, why is Guy Fieri the only HUGE success to come out of this show? The guy is so obnoxious, and they keep cramming him down our throats. I especially hate his constantly trying to sound cool and hip (I want to slap those shades off when he puts them in the back of his head), and the fact that sometimes he’s such a slob when he eats, I get grossed out when I see food dripping down his odd goatee.

  8. 8
    SexyPanda
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    I heard that the woman in Bridesmaids who was on Gilmore Girls and is on Mike and Molly (Melissa something) channeled Guy Fieri for her character in the movie. I haven’t seen it yet, but I can’t wait to LOL at her impersonation! And it IS an odd goatee. Blech.

    That curly-haired doofy guy from last season–Tom?–has his own show now, and it’s terrible. His goofy presence insults my intelligence. he is no Guy F (wow, I said that?) or Adam (Man V. Food)!

  9. 9
    mere2142
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    You know who I hate – the Meats and Potatoes guy. Was he a previous Next Food Network Star contestant? I haven’t watched every season so I’m not sure but I rather watch Guy and his obnoxious over that nasaly guy any day of the week. That being said, SP I loved your Work of Art recaps and am looking forward to see what you do with this show.

  10. 10
    SexyPanda
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Yay, thanks!

    I can’t think of who the Meat and Potatoes guy even is? Okay, wait, I just looked it up. And now I’m laughing, because I was napping to Food Network this weekend (as I very often do after work during the week–nothing like listening to Giada overpronounce things while I nap, then wake up to Ina insisting on using GOOD ingredients), and I woke up to this guy, the Meat and Potatoes guy, and I was like, “Who the EFF is this, and why is he on my TV?!” His voice is TERRIBLE. And he’s fond of looking directly into the camera with wide eyes, which is not a good look for him. Also, he reminds me of that guy who’s now on Animal Planet, working with troublesome cats.

  11. 11
    SexyPanda
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    (And he’s NOT a NFNS winner.)

  12. 12
    Betsy Furman
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    I loved the 1st episode. Lots of Alton Brown! Looks like a good season. I never care who wins. I never plan to watch their show.

  13. 13
    LAC
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    OMG – you two are making me laugh! I despise the Giana over pronouncing of Italian foods – yeah, get it. You are Italian, honey…eat something, okay? Head is getting bigger than body.

    Ugh, and I am glad I am not the only one who gets the heaves watching Fieri cram food in his mouth. And I loathe his west coast slacker dude vibe. From his spiked dyed armadillo hair to his flip flops (great idea in a kitchen, doofus!) And swear to Jesus, if I had to have “Monster” and “slackie mcpecks”, and “high fivin’ harry” as my husband’s friends (I don’t know their actual nicknames, but yech!) I would be unconscious from the alcohol I would need to consume to tolerate those yabbos in my house.

    But other than that – I love Food Network and Cooking Channel – :)

  14. 14
    crazy rooster
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    @LAC, LOL, you are so right about Giardia. You just can’t trust someone that shows all 32 teeth when they smile. Have you ever noticed Alex Trebek does the same irritating over pronunicating thing when saying anything French? Yea, we get it, you are French. Anyway, Giardia, or whatever her name is, gets on my nerves. Wait, I think Giardia is actually a waterborne bacteria. My bad. (cue 32 teeth smile).

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