Mini-Gasm: Friday Night Lights

Is another late 4th Quarter Comeback really a spoiler at this point?

Coach Father Figure has never been one to fold to pressure, ready to make a controversial and seemingly stupid move for the good of his team.  This week, he takes back control of the Red Storm and follows through on his threat to Deadbeat Dad.  As they begin preparing for their last home game, Coach benches Blind Side Lite in practice, giving the red jersey to Hayseed Hottie to work on the Wildcat offense, whatever that is.  Blind Side Lite’s ego is wounded, and he looks everywhere for a scapegoat, pointing fingers at Deadbeat Dad and QB Princess, who breaks up with him in the process.  When Coach asks him to meet separately with Hayseed Hottie to work on plays for the Wildcat, Blind Side Lite blows him off.  As a result, Coach calls insubordination and officially benches him for the upcoming game.  He goes crying to Not Sandra Bullock, who advises her son that perhaps he shouldn’t listen to everything his father tells him.

The team, under Hayseed Hottie’s insecure leadership, falls apart, and Hayseed Hottie buckles.  He goes to Coach’s house after curfew, convinced he can’t win the game and begging him to put in Blind Side Lite.  Sure enough, they struggle during the game, giving up the lead late in the 4^th Quarter on a bad interception.  Coach sticks to his guns keeping Blind Side Lite on the bench, and Hayseed derives inspiration from a quick glance at T&T Girl and takes to the field for one last drive.  Three quick plays later, he throws the game winning TD to Sunshine 2.0.  Deadbeat Dad tries to lay a prison yard beatdown on Coach, but Blind Side Lite holds him back, hopefully coming to his senses.

Meanwhile, Princess Angst shacks up with a perfectly willing Wounded Puppy Dog in Chicago.  After they reconnect, in the biblical sense, she finally clues him in on the humiliation she suffered at college.  Wounded Puppy Dog enables her avoidance until he finally puts the pieces together.  Despite his desire to be with her, he calls her out for running away from her life.  He packs up her car and sends her on her way back to reality, but not before running after her in true hopeless romantic fashion, making sure she knows that he loves her and that everything will be ok.

Tami-Joe Clark continues her efforts to reform the badness out of Chica Precious, helping her prep for an upcoming exam and feeding her, of course.  Her salvation is nearly complete until Lazy Bitch Teacher accuses her of stealing $20 out of her purse.  A scuffle ensues when Lazy Bitch Teacher attempts to search Chica’s backpack for the missing cash.  In the process, Chica throws Tami off of her, banging her head into the glass window.  The cops come to take Chica away, and Tami learns that she’s been moved to another school and foster home.

In other news, T&T Girl covers for a nauseous Stripper Wife, waiting tables and making big bank at the strip club.  She uses said cash to buy a gift for Hayseed Hottie, despite his fear of cluing in Right Wing Nut Parents about their relationship.  In the end, Hayseed Hottie stands by her, including her in his Senior Night family dinner.  And Stripper Wife’s ailment is a pregnancy, which she’s not happy about until Small Town Loser reassures her that he’ll stand by her and make sure things are ok.