In spite of flood watches and tornado warnings in my area last night, American Idol came on without fail! So if you live in a mobile home, too bad. We’ve got a very important democratic process to uphold. Plus, we need the people from the mobile home parts to remind us that the tornadoes “sounted lahk a freight train.”
So last night was Carole King night on Idol. Just as exciting — Babyface was the guest mentor.
Makes you wonder why more black men don’t rock the pompadour….
Jacob was up first to do “Oh No, Not My Baby” and Jimmy Iovine warned him that after being in the bottom three, Lusky needs to go balls to the walls and riff the hell out of the song. Jimmy later confided in us that he thinks Lusky’s in the most trouble. I think Lusky should be kicked off solely for his loud, ill-fitting outfit. This isn’t Boyz II Men circa CooleyHighHarmony. Lusky put the usual Lusky Stank™ on the song, screaming, riffing and bouncing around the stage, his wide mouth an open invitation to all of the jokes I’ve refused to write about him. This show has been on forever though, so I’m sure I’ll hit rockbottom soon. It’s only a matter of time before… must… resist… the urge…. The judges seemed to like the performance overall, although JHo added that there were some spots that weren’t perfect.
Lauren sang “Where You Lead” and Babyface mellowly encouraged her to not shy away from the high notes. Then he got up to leave because he couldn’t be in the same room as Lauren’s surprise special guest: Miley Cyrus. As you may recall, a few weeks ago, Jimmy told Lauren that she was a better singer than Miley. Now, Miley’s out for blood in “Miley’s Revenge.” Eh. More like “Miley’s Mildly Passive Aggressive Guest Appearance.” After Miley told Lauren that she was in for a life of being ridiculed and parental estrangement, Lauren was ready to take the stage. She’s still a slightly awkward performer, but she sounded good and she brought some goofy-looking guy on stage so she could sing to him. The judges thought the song was a little safe and boring but she made it into something more. But they’re really looking for someone who’s ready to win Idol and go hard. Lauren’s one of my faves, but I don’t think she’s going all out.
Haley and Casey did a duet of “I Feel the Earth Move” and it was as odd and growly and silly as their other performances. Can we just say that this is now officially the least sexy Idol cast?
Jimmy and Babyface tried to break Scotty out of his deep country twang for “You Got a Friend.” They got him to start the song slow and soft and then open up a few verses in. I’m not a huge Scotty fan — I find Howdy Doody terrifying — but I thought this was a really good performance. You could tell that he’s not holding anything back. And even though I couldn’t look directly into his eyes when he gazed into the camera, I did like his rendition a lot. The judges thought the beginning was flawless and that he had a buttery tenor. They want him to hold his high notes longer.
James Durbin changed things up last night by doing “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow,” Carole King’s first hit and a really awesome song. James wanted to do it without gimmicks and pyrotechnics. Just him standing there with his guitar. Jimmy and Babyface loved him at rehearsals. For the performance, he started off a capella, then the music kicked in after a couple verses. The whole song sounded great, but the beginning was really beautiful. I loved it, the audience loved it, the judges loved it, especially Steven Tyler who had his first makeout session with a girl to that song in a bowling alley. Almost a sweet story, until he told Randy that he didn’t strike out that night. Long, meandering story short, the judges think James might have Idol in the bag.
Lauren and Scotty performed “Up On the Roof” together. When I woke up, it was time for Casey’s performance. He did “Hi-De-Ho” while wearing a suit and a fedora that was too small for his head. He angrily threw it off partway through the song, though, so I could finally focus on the performance. It was a typical Casey performance: weirdly and unnecessarily angry. The judges are always excited to see Casey perform, they say, but JHo wants him to loosen up his legs a little. For me personally, I don’t want to see any part of “Weird Beard” get any looser.
Haley performed “Beautiful” and Jimmy and Babyface encouraged her to sing it like she’s yelling at her husband to get off the couch. Women are such nags, amiright??? So, Haley sounded good, especially if you like when she does her bluesy sound, but I thought that she was overshadowed most of the time by the instruments and other singers on stage. Still, her slight growliness did remind me a bit of Xtina Aqualera, although I may have been influenced by the title of the song. Steven saw God while Haley was singing, but then his pacemaker kicked in and he was fine. Randy and JHo didn’t love the beginning but think Haley has one of the most beautiful voices in the competition.
Final song of the night came from Jacob and James who sang “I’m Into Something Good.” And it was kind of a hot mess. They were dressed like British school boys, sang to JHo’s shiny, shiny legs and basically tried to outscreech one another, which seemed fun for them, but was painful for anyone who had to hear it.
What did you think of the duets? I thought the pairings were weak and predictable. Who would you like to see paired up? My predictions for bottom three: Jacob, Casey and Lauren. What was your first makeout song?