MiniCap: American Idol

Recaps

By IceQueen | Thursday, May 5, 2011 | 11:39 am | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: American Idol, MiniCaps, Recaps

Last night on American Idol, we got a double dose of the top five contestants. With the help of Jimmy Iovine and Sheryl Crow, each Idol hopeful sang two songs — one recent and one from “back in the day,” as Tink explained it to us. We also learned that Sir Anthony Hopkins is a huge Idol fan. I wish they’d asked him who his fave is. I bet it’s Lusky. He strikes me as the type who would enjoy the sound of a very large woman singing operatic gospel.

america-idol-anthony-hopkinsHe should win an Academy Award just for the face he’s making here.

James kicked things off. His first song was “Closer to the Edge” by 30 Seconds to Mars and Jimmy thought it was the right kind of song for him. Jimmy really hates 80s rock and metal. James started the song quietly and a bit off key (to me and my untrained ear) but the louder he got, the better he sounded. It was a low-key performance for him: just three bursts of pyrotechnics and some high fives for the audience. That’s all. Just a few fireworks and exposure to the swine flu five times. He’s also got a weird beard going in honor of recently booted Casey.

The judges thought he kicked the song’s ass and that he’s showing them and the audience that he wants this bad. Gotta agree with that assessment. He always seems to give every performance everything he’s got, and that was even more true for his second song.

During rehearsals, he broke down while singing Harry Nilsson’s “Without You,” saying it reminded him of his wife and son. During the live performance, he started off dry-eyed, standing in one place, singing to the camera. He stayed soft, hit a nice high note, and the next thing you know, he was bawling and singing, tears running down his face. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win American Idol. The judges ate it up, of course, especially JHo.

Jacob sang “No Air” by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown (shudder). He decided to sing both the male and female parts. Obviously, he has the ability to do this because of his range, but that don’t make it a good idea. He started it off really falsetto and was a bit pitchy, especially when he started doing the snake.

The judges no likey. At least Randy didn’t. He thought it was corny and that Jake should stick to Luther Vandross/Church stuff.

Jacob’s second song was a Jimmy suggestion: “Love Hurts.’ Jacob wasn’t so sure about this, but agreed to it. It was another opportunity for him to show off his incongruous falsetto and my ears burned until he came down a little bit. The judges heard a lot in that song that I didn’t. For me it was loud and high. For them it was full of passion, had a “bobble” in the middle, and featured the highest note ever sung on the Idol stage. Was that a compliment? I’m still not sure.

Lauren’s first song was Carrie Underwood’s “Flat on the Floor” which sounds like a sexy song but turns out not to be. Lauren took Sheryl’s advice not to walk all over the stage and out into the audience and sing to goofy boys. She pretty much stayed put, but was still able to have energy and bounce and rock out to the song. The judges loved it and really didn’t have anything constructive to say.

Lauren’s second song was “Unchained Melody.” Jimmy and Sheryl deemed it a mature song that everyone would be familiar with, but thought Lauren could make it her own. Her performance and look are a little beauty pageant, if you ask me. She had waving arm movements and a floor length gown and hair as big as her mama’s, and at the end the judges didn’t have too much to say. JHo used her favorite word twice: “It was a beautiful song sung beautifully.” Steven agreed that it was beautiful.

Scotty No Body had two very different performances. The first was “Gone” by Montgomery Gentry. Jimmy and Sheryl practically peed their panties over Scotty and he had a great performance. He jumped all over the stage and ran back and forth a bit manically, but it was actually fun to watch. The judges – Steven specifically – thought he danced with the devil.

Scotty’s second song was, of course, Evlis Presley’s “You Were Always on My Mind.” I would nickname him Baby Elvis but he’d probably enjoy that too much. Sheryl was practically drooling over him by this point, trying to find a way she can profit off of his future career. Scotty kept his second song soft and, as Randy would say, “tender.” And you know the judges ate that shit up.

Finally Haley. Haley, Haley, Haley. The judges and Jimmy Iovine really screwed her over last night. It all started when Jimmy suggested that she sing an unreleased Lady Gaga song. The Gaga apparently performs the song at concerts only. After receiving a blessing from The Gaga, herself, to perform “You and I,” Haley hit the stage with a bluesy, growly and husky rendition. I’ve never heard the song before but I loved it. However, I love just about everything Gaga does and I thought Haley sounded fantastic.

JHo loved the way Haley sound, too. BUT… she didn’t think she should have done an unknown song. Randy agrees that it was too risky and wasn’t even a good song. Steven thinks she’s one good song away from winning the show. Stupid, useless judges. Who cares if no one’s heard it before? Guess what, JHo, no one heard your stupid “On the Floor” song before but that hasn’t stopped you from shoving it down our throats. At some point every song is unheard. And it’s not like Haley is one of these fools who goes to the auditions and sings some dumbass song they made up while sitting on the pot at their mama’s house. It was a song written by one of the biggest artists in the world right now. Anyway. I was annoyed.

Haley’s second song was “House of the Rising Sun” by the Animals. Jimmy said that if Haley was a teen in the 1960s, she would have recorded this album. At Sheryl’s suggestion, Haley started off the song a capella. It’s a haunting song anyway, but when Haley sang it, it was even more so and was goosebump-inducing. After the first verse, the band kicked in and she started growling and singing her ass off.

At the end, the judges gave her a standing O for acting like little bitches earlier. Eventually they said that it was the best performance of the night. I don’t know. Was it? Maybe. I also liked Scotty and Lauren’s uptempo songs. I think it’s time for Lusky to be out, even though I never like to see a totally vanilla finale (excuse me, thanks to Scotty it will be one-sixteenth Puerto Rican). Everything’s better with diversity, right?

Did you vote last night? What’d you think of Haley’s first song choice? Who do you think will be kickin’ rocks later tonight? Are you excited that JHo will dust off her mic and perform tonight? I had actually forgotten that she was a singer… Also, Seacrest only mentioned JHo and Lady Antebellum as tonight’s performers, but Wikipedia says that Lady Gaga will be performing “Judas,” so maybe that’s a possibility. Regardless, the “Judas” video is supposed to premiere at 7 tonight on E!. Will you be watching?

About

Icequeen is a nonprofit employee who spends her days trying to make the world a better place to make up for the things that she does at night. A former television producer and reporter, she is obsessed with TV and film and is saving up to make her next documentary. When she's not working, writing or watching TV, she enjoys boys, food and travel. Though she has lived all over the U.S., she currently resides in Washington, DC.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    jayem
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    Okay, first of all, I wanted to throw something at the tv after the judges critique for Haley the first time. I don’t believe in all that conspiracy theory stuff, but it really does seem like they are constantly nine feet up her ass about the littlest things, but they praise HORRIBLE performances like Jacob. (Best voice on Idol? You mean Best Impression of a Dying Howler Monkey??) Haley KILLED that song. She spit on it, kicked it’s ass, murdered it and drowned it in a river, never to be seen again. I looked up the Siobhan performance, since everyone mentioned it and I didn’t watch that season, and Haley’s was SO. MUCH. BETTER. No one holds a candle to her right now. I cannot believe my ears when she sings. She definitely deserves to win and out of ALL the contestants (even my Scotty), hers is the album I would definitely buy.

    Secondly, what the hell were they talking about reprimanding her for singing a sing that isn’t Top 40?! I’ve never heard the 30STM song or that particular Carrie Underwood song nor have I ever heard about half of the songs Scotty and James have sung, but I was able to enjoy them nevertheless, and probably more because I didn’t have anyone to compare them to and I wasn’t singing along. And don’t they always praise people for “making it their own”? I can’t think of anything better than Haley singing Gaga. The judges can shove it.

    Scotty was great and fun, as usual, and Jacob Screeches-Like-A-Banshee sucked balls, as usual. James was way too overemotional, and even though I understood, he still should have been criticized about letting the emotion overcome the song instead of adding to it because he has a wonderful voice and really could have SANG Without You. (Like Mariah does. Look it up.) Lauren missed out on an opportunity to really belt the living shit out of Unchained Melody and she didn’t. I really liked her in the beginning, but she is not wowing anyone anytime soon. Maybe in a few years.

    My Ranking: Haley, Scotty, James, Lauren, Jacob, with Jacob going home. GO HOME!!! I hate you and your stupid face and your awful voice and your pompous attitude. You suck. Go. Home. If I had my druthers, I’d like a Hotty (Haley/Scotty) finale and I wouldn’t even care who won! I voted non-stop for both of them until time ran out.

    Finally, hells yes I will be watching the Judas video because I love Gaga and Norman Reedus is in it, in biker gear no less, and he’s my dirty-hot-shame-fuck-fantasy right now. Can’t wait!!

    ETA: My CAPTCHA Code is LUBE. Hmmmmmmmmmm…

  2. 2
    See-Jay
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    During JLo’s critique of Haley’s first performance, Haley deadpanned to the to the camera like, “This bitch is full of it, amiright?” It was hilarious.

    Anyway, I think knocking points off of Haley for singing an unreleased song is bullshit. Do they really think all of the tweens who watch this show have heard many of the theme week songs? I honestly doubt Idol’s core audience is familiar with Motown or Carole King, for instance. Stupid critique is stupid.

  3. 3
    Crabby Old Bat
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    @jayem and See-Jay (sorry, no Jay here): Thanks for the validation, I too adored Haley’s first song. I don’t usually like GaGa’s music, so it probably helped that I had never heard the song before. I thought Haley sounded absolutely wonderful. Being an old technology-challenged bat, I had to ask my teenager to download it for me, but that was definitely something I would listen to again and again. I don’t know that the judges were completely out of their minds to warn her, though – Casey also did songs no-one in the American Idol audience had ever heard, and he was sent home TWICE despite lighting the judgery’s collective panties on fire.

  4. 4
    itchy
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    I actually found myself enjoying Snotty’s first song (the second: ugh. FF). He’s just so damned goofy, it’s kind of infectious. It’s like he’s channeling the Andy Griffith show (which was one of my favorites as a kid).

    And I’ve been saying since the get-go that Haley has the best voice on this show, it’s nice to see people catching up. I can see a finale with her and Snotty, sure.

    Lauren’s just too boring to bother with. Durbin’s a joke, I don’t understand why they keep blowing smoke up his ass — he’s just not that good of a singer. His voice is pretty weak really, and only the screamy stuff sets him apart. And Jacob’s on the wrong show, he truly is.

    Anyhoo, I’d actually be satisfied with a Scotty win. The kid’s got charisma, I’ll give him that. Even if it’s dunked in a huge bucket of smarm.

  5. 5
    iamrufus
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    Itch, you’re letting me down with your warm-up to Scotty “the Body” (WTF? Worst use of that nickname I have ever seen, btw), I thought for sure you were with me on the hate train. I’m all alone!

    I love Haley, and I voted for her like crazy. I hope she doesn’t go home tonight, but it’s between her and Jacob. Please let it be Diva Lusk.

  6. 6
    itchy
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    I just can’t help myself. Watching Scotty is like watching a little kid fall down when he’s just learning to walk.

    Maybe it’s just nostalgia for the King Family Singers. Every time I look at him, I see things in black and white, back when the world was simple and people still said things like “Gee golly whillikers, Mr. Peabody!”

    Well, no, I’m not that old. I used to watch a lot of reruns, that’s all.

  7. 7
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    I thought Haley reverted to her “drunk chick at karaoke” persona on that Gaga song. I kind of agreed with the judges. She was slurry and blowsy on the song. But she did sing “House of the Rising Sun” well. I was cringing as soon as Tink said something about Haley taking on The Animals but thought it might be salvaged when Sheryl Crow told her to start out singing a capella and was completely surprised at how much I liked her actual performance.

    Durbin and Lusk are the two-headed hydra of smarm and affectation that make me want to punch them in the neck. Mercy, they’re a couple of jackasses. Jacob went back to the “I’m so awesome” line of arrogance which served him so well when he told us that if he was bottom three it was because we were all in league with the devil for not voting for him, so I’m assuming it’s his swan song tonight but I’d just love to see Durbin get canned and finally cry for real instead of squeezing his eyes shut so tightly until they start to water than stand on stage like a nimrod while people praise his “emotion” rather than point out that he sang like ass.

    I might be personalizing their suckitude, though.

    And while Scotty’s second song bugged because a) it’s Willie Nelson, dammit! (I know about a billion artists, including Elvis, recorded it but it’s still Willie, dammit) and b) he sounded awful. Worst vocal of his, ever. And yeah, “Pacquita” was cute and incongruous and I was amused that Ryan tried to add more Boricua flavor to the pronunciation while Scotty couldn’t be assed to care about a PR accent, but that’s not enough to make that performance interesting.

  8. 8
    JasonR
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    I never vote, but seeing the judges sabotaging Haley like that pissed me off, and especially after her second performance, I voted for her at least 10 times. Time for Jacob to GTFO my tv already.

  9. 9
    juddfan
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    Wow, there is a trend starting!!! Whew-hew!!! So nice to see people actually caring. I agree that, not only was Haley best by far, I heard that Gaga song on Today, and I’m sure it was all over the blogosphere, so they are just beyond stupid in that critique. I haven’t known one country song all season . . . and I do know some, I didn’t even know the Carrie . . .

    My DVR didn’t tape, coz of the extra half hour conflicting, argh!!! but I saw the end, and I watched the performances on line, and I voted my little butt off for Haley too. I so hope there’s enough of us to make a shock elimination, if not this week then next.

    Lauren . . sigh . . .I couldn’t even watch Unchained Melody I have heard that slow, slow, slow song Oh so many times . . . It’s like sex with and ex, I just can’t go back.
    I’m also with Itchy on Scottys first song . . . that was good, and fun, and frankly, I never heard it either–nor have I heard James first song.

    I actually thought James was way off last night, but I don’t hate him. Jacob was awful on No Air . . . I’m not sure what I would do if I was a contestant getting opposite advice from Jimmy and judges.

    Lauren is still pretty dull, but her first was a step. I’m sorry she’s lost her confidence or whatever . . . she’s sleep walking through this.

    Haley for top two!!!

  10. 10
    melange
    Posted May 5, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    I’ve been championing Lauren, but she really blew it not going for that note in Unchained Melody. Clay Aiken nailed it in season 2, also: Justin Guarini, Kelly Pickler, and even Constantine Maroulis (on a post-AI visit). Maybe she should have sung it in the original key, it’s a few notes lower (her version goes up to high A flat, eeks!) Chickens shouldn’t win AI. She’s so good though; she really should have waited a few more years before auditioning to get her confidence up.

    Scotty looks like he’s actually going to put some energy into his pretty much guaranteed win. That’s nice. It makes the contest look like less of a joke.

    Jacob should have picked a different 2nd song. Jordin has all the interesting bits of No Air, so I can’t blame him for wanting to do both parts, but he was just all over the place with the female lines.

    As usual James was badly off key in both songs when he wasn’t screaming. Sigh. America doesn’t care though: it loves a lopsided-head guy that can fake some emotion.

    Haley was awesome, the best of the night. Scotty, James and Haley all put out great effort.

  11. 11
    juddfan
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    melange, you’re just the type of fan I’m thinking of. Lauren did have some confidence in the beginning but as soon as people started criticizing her she lost her edge. She almost seems medicated she’s so complacent. I am curious to see what this week will bring.

    I’m thinking Haley got Casey’s voting block . . . will it be enough to topple one of the chosen ones (the in it to win it ones (sigh)) . . . oooooo . . . .we’ll see ; )

  12. 12
    jayem
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    Does anyone know why the comments are off on the Results Mimi Cap??

  13. 13
    Stef
    Posted May 6, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    Every dog in my neighborhood was howling during Scotty’s second song. Dude, STFU!!!

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