This week in real life, 4 of the 6 basketball wives were canned because they wouldn’t let VH-1 tape the “real” parts of their lives. Next year we will only have Jackie (Old Spice) and Draya (Homewrecker Spice) returning. Hopefully Draya will actually be a basketball wife by then.
Anyway, this week:
Brooke had a birthday pool party for herself, and no one swims. Laura invited Bambi “to the park” without letting Malaysia know and was left hugless.
Draya, Bambi, and Malaysia meet up for drinks and Draya’s earlobes look like they’re about to tear from the weight of her awful earrings. Draya and Bambi kiss.
My earrings weigh more than Jackie… I can barely move.
Laura and Jackie go on a hike. Laura wants to push Jackie off a cliff. I wish she had. (So do Jackie’s daughters.)
Doug and Jackie are packing to go to Seattle. They will see her daughters because it’s been a long time. Plus Jackie is inviting the girls. And she’s going to visit her mom’s grave. Doug is all “meh”… he’s so insanely logical and kind… he wants to bond with “the Dougmeister”… I don’t know if that is him or his lover.
Laura used the be a bartender so she invited the ladies to a mixology class (read, a bar). Draya dressed up like Jackie and it was a riot. Jackie took off her jacket and was wearing a bodysuit that appeared to be Draya’s size and I threw up in my mouth (read, on my bed). Brooke got fed up with Jackie and VH-1 screwed us all out of what was probably an awesome fight. (HEY VH-1, THESE WOMEN AREN’T ROLE MODELS… DON’T EDIT OUT THE GOOD PARTS.)
In Seattle, Jackie is waiting for her daughters (one of whom has publicly denounced Jackie). She has a surprise for them both. It’s a therapist.
There’s a good chance that my full recap will have a thousand pictures because if I can’t unsee some of these things, neither should you. This had all the makings of a great episode, but thanks to the editors at VH-1 we were left feeling empty… again.
You can read past recaps and discuss this week’s episode below.
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