MiniCap: Being Human

Naked, bloody and lying in a pile of leaves? Maybe being a werewolf isn’t that bad.

Welcome back, Gasmii. This season’s tagline is “Temptation is a Beast,” and while two roomies have to deal with their own temptations, Josh and Nora, of course, have to deal with the ramifications of their giving in to their temptations last season. Because, come hell or high water, they will have the most romantically sexless relationship on TV.

Aidan’s dug up the daughter, Suren, and despite being 257-years-old, he still can’t read a room or body language and just gives her a blueprint to fuck up Boston, and his life, royally. She’s all “purr, purr, feed with me Aidan, here’s a hot cop for you to turn, purr, purr,” and he’s all “I don’t eat live and after I killed my maker, which by the way, feels AWESOME, you should try it…wait…but your Mom said she’d give me my real freedom from talking like a douchebag and listening to Amish men and weird, creepy women with scary bangs if I help you out, but, like I said, I won’t eat live, anyway, so can I give you my testimony?” It goes, like every one of Aidan’s plans to keep Boston clean go, and he’s screwed.

Sally meets more dead teen boys and invites them home where they spend their time punching each other in the nuts and watching Scarface, until the dead jock suggests they go “raging” which Sally thinks just means going to a frat party, which as a 23-year-old college graduate is old news, until she sees the one-off dead guys enter the bodies of a couple of drunk guys. It’s like Christmas morning for Sally and, even though Stevie tries to convince her it’s like crack, she jumps into the first willing drunk chick she can find. As with all the roommates transgressions, it ends horribly.

And Josh, duh, isn’t dead because he’s one of the stars and WereNora saved his life by killing Heggeman, adding more shit to Aidan’s FMIL situation. She’s also well and truly freaked after she woke up in some random’s front yard covered in blood and leaves and is wondering if she can even drink mochas anymore because they have chocolate and chocolate is lethal to dogs, but it’s by weight, so a dog WereNora’s size could eat half a tray of pot brownies and all it would do is make her crawl under her bed and mewl for an hour. Or so my college roommate tells me. After Nora has a moment at a med school mixer, Josh is Josh and he makes little puppy dog faces and is very understanding after he’s demanding and they agree to muddle on together, but probably not to have any sex because why mess up a good thing.

Full recap in a few days. Until then, you can catch up on the last season here.

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