Minicap: Bethenny Ever After

Sheeeee’s baaack! Gasmii!  I’ve missed you all so much!  And I’ve missed Bethenny, that’s for damn sure.  Love this girl.  I love how she takes every opportunity and runs to the moon and back with it.  And I also love how she’s batshit crazy occasionally.  So let’s settle in for a season with this incredibly successful wackadoo starting off with what happened last year: Bethenny went on SkinnyGirlComingFromAPlaceOfYes tour and managed to sell the cocktail brand to Jim Beam i.e. got filthy stinking rich.  She and Jason were adorable partners, briefly considered moving to LA, but didn’t and were great parents to Bryn (you know, rescuing her from a crazy Carribean baptism/sacrifice).  Other stuff happened, but basically everything ended on a good note and has continued to be good throughout the year.

The first part of this episode has a lot to do with Bethenny’s happiness that not only is she successful, she’s being taken seriously.  I guess she wound up on the cover of Forbes (uh, awesome?) and feels way better about that than being in any of the gossip mags.  True dat.  Things that are bad?  Her apartment is too small for her, Jason, Bryn, and her 89 employees.  Oh, I guess she works out of her home.  I can’t believe I didn’t know that already.  But yeah, she works out of her home, and there are literally not enough seats in her office for the amount of employees she needs.  That’s so funny – it’s both a first AND a third world problem.

In marriage news, she and Jason are still having fun, but he’s sort of over having to go to all her damn events and he’s a little less amused with her antics (see “real estate” in the recap).  Also, as I’m sure everyone who’s watched five minutes of Bravo in the past two months, the couple has very little time for intimacy (Jason’s penis has cobwebs on it – TMI moment 34 in episode 1).  It was pretty recently released also that Bethenny suffered a miscarriage this year, so I’m sure the comments about the second year of marriage being very rough are significantly related.

She’s still going to therapy, and we still get to watch it, and I still think that’s completely inappropriate.  To each their own, I suppose. Speaking of inappropriate, she has lunch with Lisa Lampinelli, so I guess they’re friends.  They spend the entire lunch pretty much talking about how many gay dudes want to bone Jason and how much they both want to be men so they wouldn’t have to deal with personal hygiene.

By the end of the episode, the couple has a new apartment, so I’m assuming Bethenny’s going to pull a Zarin (gasp!) and we’ll be treated to all the ins and outs of home decor until the season finale reveal.  It’s a great place and I wish I were her, which is usually how I feel at the end of every episode.  It hasn’t helped that I’ve gotten a year older, remain single and Bryn’s cuteness is winding my biological clock to a painful, PAINFUL degree.  Time for champagne!

Tune in for the full recap on Wednesday to get the nitty gritty on how freaking awesome this woman’s life is – see you then!

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