Minicap: Celebrity Rehab

Steven is quickly becoming my favorite Celebrity Rehab patient.

He's the best, around.

His profuse use of the word “bamboozler” gives me such delight. The staff calls him abusive, but I think he just tells it like it is. He doesn’t sugarcoat anything and that’s why I love him. He’s a revolutionary who should seriously consider opening his own rehab clinic for those who want the addiction beat out of them with the violent truth.

Amy continues to cry because rehab is so invasive. She wasn’t expecting people to want to know all the intimate details of her life, she was just hoping that they would point a wand at her head and magically zap out the addiction.

Then Amy makes a grand leap by admitting she “has a problem with alcohol”. Steven is still fuming that she won’t call herself an alcoholic, but he holds his tongue, for now.

In group, Steven apologizes to Amy and everyone applauds as if he’s a 5 year old who threw a ball at her during recess.

Bai Ling has an emotional breakdown and Dr. Drew thanks the gods of reality tv; that’s a clip for the promo. If a broken actress won’t get people to watch the show, I don’t know what will!

Jeremy Jackson has had numerous epiphanies that will blow your mind with their intelligence and reason, but we’ll never see them because that does not make for good reality television. C’mon Jeremy! Give the people what they want to see! Roid rage!

For more breakdown details stay tuned for the full recap!