Minicap: Dance Moms

Recaps

By SnoopK8 | Wednesday, March 14, 2012 | 10:00 am | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Dance Moms, MiniCaps, Recaps

Pretend I’m yelling at you

Hola, Gasmii. Well, after last week’s controversy, we have a pretty tame episode this week. I like how Lifetime is completely pretending that the naked showgirls thing didn’t happen. They’ve whitewashed it from the website and even the “Previously” segment only shows Jabby screaming at Chloe that the fake beef jerky commercial is going to come back to haunt her.

Maddie retains her spot on top of the pyramid, so the planets remain in alignment for one more week. But can she make it three weeks? Only the shadow knows.

The girls are going to Miami for what looks like a completely fabricated competition at Florida International University. The group dance theme is “Annette Funicelli and Beach Bingo” (™ Paige).

Maddie, Chloe and Nia have solos and Maddie, Chloe and Paige are doing a trio. But! Paige has to have plantar warts removed from her feet, so she may not be able to dance. Holly thinks Jabby should put Nia in the trio to cover Paige so she interrupts rehearsal to give Jabby a piece of her mind. They end up getting into a screaming fight and Holly storms out and threatens not to come back. She eventually relents and lets Nia return, although Nia misses a day of rehearsals. And then Brody and Kristin make out while Spencer and Heidi throw dishes at each other. Sorry. Sometimes I get my fake shows confused.

MEANWHILE, in this week’s WTF moment, Crazy Cathy gets Kendall a gig dancing during the halftime show at a Harlem Globetrotters game. All I can say about that is, who knew there were still Harlem Globetrotters?

In Miami, the group number is super cute, but only comes in third. Paige pulls off the trio despite her painful feet, and the trio girls come in second. Nia freezes up on stage but gets a do-over and comes in third (out of three?). Chloe finishes second for her solo, and Maddie wins, although I have to say, I do think Maddie did better than Chloe this week. (See, I’m totally fair and balanced.)

I don’t know, despite all Jabby’s talk about how talented Miami dancers are, I don’t think this was a real competition. It just felt off to me and this show has completely eroded my trust. And if you can’t trust a reality show to be real, what can you trust?

I’ll have answers to these existential questions and more in the full recap, which’ll be up in couple of days. If you missed last week’s debacle (which you may never see thanks to the fascists at Lifetime) check out the recap here.

Otherwise, thanks for reading and I will catch you on the flip side.

xoxo,
SnoopK8

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SnoopK8
About

Snoop K8 lives in NYC and loves baseball, red wine and Judge Judy (not necessarily in that order).

13 Comments

  1. 1
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 11:02 am

    I agree with you SnoopK8. No way all three girls placed first, second, and third. Especially Nia since she got a re do. If I was the fourth place girl (if there was one) I would be PISSED!!! I don’t understand why there has to be a competition every week. Can there be a few weeks in between to perfect the skill or work on technique? Is there an off season for dance?

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 11:03 am

    I was a dancer but I never did competition like this. I was on a dance team for school and comp. But I also had my own hip hop team for talent shows. I want to forget some of those dances…and the outfits…and the hair…ugh

  3. 3
    maryedith
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    After the fake commercial and the fake competition last week I realized I’m just not interested in this show anymore. I think the fact that the moms all say such nasty things about Abby without any fear of repercussions shows that everyone on the show likes everyone else and the only people not in on the joke are the kids. And that SUCKS. Christi is such a stone-cold bitch for letting Chloe look bad, even if it was only for a few seconds. And isn’t Holly a principal or something? She should lose her job, if they haven’t made that up too.

  4. 4
    lovesthehobbitses
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    @maryedith— I completely agree! I recently saw an interview that Cathy and Abby had on Rosie O’Donnell’s online show and they were happy as could be. Best friends even, laughing and joking about things they had said/done to each other on the show. “No! I never would have brought the bee costume to Good Will! Could you ever picture ME even setting foot in that place? No thank you! It’s adorable! It’s been sitting in Vivi’s closet, wrapped in plastic!” “Ahh– I knew you would never go in there!” ah ha ha, laugh, laugh laugh. Naturally I know that reality shows are staged to a degree, but with this one in particular, I feel like I’ve been played a fool. It’s a shame because I love watching the girls dance–just the fake drama is really getting too much.

  5. 5
    Chicken Lips
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    Are you trying to tell me that reality shows aren’t real? Zut alors, whatever do you mean? I’m shocked I tell you. Shocked.

    Did anyone else catch that Abbs bitched hardcore about that gym floor in TX, but apparently the gym floor at FIU was just peachy fine and Abbs’s lips never flapped about it? The only glimpse was when Melissa talked about Maddie’s fall in TX on the floor.

  6. 6
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Oh my sweet Chicky, what a sheltered life you must have lead. So young, so impressionable.

    Jabby is flexible, isn’t she?

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    led. must have led. Dang!

  8. 8
    maryedith
    Posted March 14, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    Actually, I don’t think other reality shows are as fake as this one. If they are, they are covering up way better. I don’t think I’m going to see Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel walking hand in hand down the street any time soon, for instance. I think the parents on Toddlers and Tiaras really give a shit whether their kids win those pageants, and I think the pageants really do occur. Dance Moms goes beyond the usual editing manipulation to the point where it’s not possible to discuss it without feeling like a tool. I might as well watch WWF.

  9. 9
    Closet Fan
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 3:22 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FXvMvI1BN4
    There are several clips with Cathy, Abby and Rosie.

  10. 10
    gun kata
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 3:42 am

    This gym floor didn’t look as highly waxed as the other gym floor.

  11. 11
    maryedith
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 8:40 am

    I watched the clip from the The View where Christi said she gave Chloe the option to leave Abby’s studio and Chloe came into her room at night with “tousled hair” and said “I can’t leave. I can’t leave.” I can’t believe I didn’t see before what a ham actress Christi is. Thanks, @ClosetFan.

  12. 12
    Sara Fairchild Koeller
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 9:16 am

    This one is actually a real competition…here’s the website:
    http://www.americandancealliance.com/ADA/Home.html

    It was the “State Championships” at the end of January.

    And here’s pictures…Maddie, Nia, and Chloe included as you page through!
    http://standbackimages.smugmug.com/Events/American-Dance-Alliance-State/21164503_bt5ntN#!i=1683999077&k=7jGTDXz

    It does look like most of the girls are substantially older that our girls, so it’s possible they were the only three in their general age category.

  13. 13
    SnoopK8 SnoopK8
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Ahh, you’ve renewed my faith in humanity!

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