Welcome, Gasmii, to the final four of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Same as it was two weeks ago. None of them are too sad to see Kenya go, again, have a good laugh at mocking her accent and are generally bored because there are only four of them left, one being Phi Phi. Luckily, it’s time for SheMail. Ru makes a bunch of dog references which befuddles the queens.
But first! Ru’s here for the mini challenge and it’s a good old bitchfest…with puppets! The queens will each pull a puppet representing another queen from a big, black hole then they’ll have 20 minutes to drag it out, and then each queen will have a bitchfest with her puppet. And these queens have been cooped up with each other for a month, so this should be good.
Sharon draws first and gets Chad, Latrice draws next and gets Sharon, Chad is third and pulls Phi Phi which leaves Phi Phi with Latrice. Each queen does a pretty good job with the puppet, although Latrice and Phi Phi do fairly superficial jobs with theirs while Sharon cuts off the puppet’s nose and makes it look like a burn victim and Chad…oh, Chad. You bitch. LOVE!
Other than Latrice, the bitchfests were funny and on point. Sharon does a good Chad as Cher impersonation, Phi Phi is actually funny in making fun of Latrice if not channeling her and Chad…oh, Chad. You bitch. She may be sweet and polished and lovely but she’s got some bite, and it was fantastic watching Phi Phi’s head nearly explode.
Main challenge is the annual final four ball. This year’s theme: Bitch Ball. Queens will have to put together three looks with dog themes, so it’s “Daytime Dog Park” realness, “Pooch in a Purse” party girl and ‘Canine Couture” complete with an actual dog for an accessory. Mini challenge winner assigns the dogs and they are as follows: Chad gets the Chinese-Crested, Latrice gets the Pomeranian, Phi Phi gets the bloodhound and Sharon gets the Standard Poodle.
Even though Phi Phi’s a scorching, oozing, festering bitch about it, but then Phi Phi’s awake so nothing new, there isn’t a lot of drama in the workroom, so Ru throws them the curveball of having to choreograph a Broadway-style routine to open the show. This opens a brand new door for Phi Phi stank, and Phi Phi never passes up a chance to show new ways to be an awful human being.
As for the ball…the performance was cute enough and the editors managed to include more than 2 ½ seconds so we can see how each queen performs. Once they got to the runway, though, one was clearly the winner, one was clearly the loser and that’s all I’ve got to say because I don’t want to spoil it and there is no way to respond to the results that won’t give it away. I will say, though, that mid-tempo, contemporary country is not a lip-synching drag queen’s best friend.
But then, gurr, Untucked. And I know there’s a whole lot of editing going on and editors can make saints look like sinners by cutting and pasting and gluing Frankenbites together, but editing can’t make my TV vibrate with Phi Phi’s rage. She needs to take those vacations she won and just get drunk and stupid for a month because no one should be that angry for no reason.
Full recap in a few days. Until then, you can catch up on the last recap here.
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Thanks for being here!