MiniCap: Drag Race

Channeling Divine

Hello! Hello! Hello! This week was kind of a hodgepodge of challenges and runway which didn’t exactly make much sense together but who cares. It’s Drag Race, gurr!

First up, the queens have to carve themselves some big, juicy asses out of foam and packing peanuts in 30 minutes. Dida doesn’t think it’s enough time but Chad is very proud of the asses she can build for herself, because she’s a pro, dammit. Sharon narrates like she’s a hosting an educational PBS program from the 70s just cause.

They’re separated into three categories, Apple Bottoms, Ghetto Booties and Badonkadonks with some very surprising winners in each category. Mostly because at least two of them have some bony asses to begin with, so good for them for working that foam.

From there, the winners get to play pick’em and a couple of queens learn the hard lesson that even on Drag Race, someone’s the kid no one wants on their team. And in a hilariously tin-eared moment of total lack of self awareness Phi Phi whines and complains about how no one wants to pick certain queens because all they do is whine and complain. Yes, Phi Phi, that may be true but at least they don’t do it wearing Ducky hats and douchebag glasses that probably aren’t even prescription.

On to the main challenge where the queens are tasked with creating their own WWE style program called the “Luscious Ladies of the WTF (Wrestling’s Trashiest Fighters).” Two queens have to be “faces” or the good wrestlers and two queens have to be “heels” or the evil wrestlers. Then they get a quick lesson with real wrestlers on important things like how take a fall without breaking your back because it may not be “real” but it’s still real.

The teams shake out as:

Team 1 – Phi Phi and LaShauwn: LA’s Finest/ Kenya and Latrice: Bitter Betties
Team 2 – Willam and Dida: DWF’d (no idea what it means)/Jiggly and the Princess; Thunder Booties
Team 3 – Sharon and Milan: The Knockouts/Chad and Madame LaQueer: Bitchkickers

The matchups are entertaining and no one seems to particularly stand out as good or bad, but Phi Phi stands out because she needs some Spanx to smooth out that water weight gain. Bloating isn’t as cute as you might think.

Guest judges are former NBA stars, John Salley, whom most of the queens seemed to seriously crush on (with good reason, he’s rather charming) and Rick Fox and Billy B was sitting in the Honorary Gail Simmons rotating regular judge seat, so no Santino but extra Michelle judging based mostly on who she likes and not what the queens do. Was she always that capricious?  And why has she decided her favorites are the ones who apply their makeup with permanent marker?

Anyway, no real surprise in who sashayed away. Full recap in a few days. Until then, you can catch up on the last recap here.

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