MiniCap: Drag Race

Recaps

By vallegirl | Sunday, January 29, 2012 | 6:34 pm | 17 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Drag Race, MiniCaps, Recaps

It’s the RuPOCALYPSE!!!!!

 

Ah, the New Year. Everything is fresh and new. Anything is possible. It brings hope, plans, resolutions, dreams…and a new batch of bitchy, padded, painted, wig snatching queens all seeking RuPaul’s love and acceptance. Welcome to season four of the greatest TV show, ever, and our last, best hope in these trying times, welcome back to RuPaul’s Drag Race, Gurrr.

As always, the girls all walk in telling us how fierce they are and how they’re the total package because…I don’t know. It all blends together better than Shangela ever managed to blend that damn five o’clock shadow off her jaw. The few who stand out to me in the “Get to Know a Queen,” segment are the Princess because that’s one mighty transformation from WeHo meth-faced hooker (said with love, because the Princess seemed really sweet despite the meth face) to queen, Jiggly Caliente who looks prettier and more like a girl without makeup, Phi Phi O’Hara because bitch needs a near-death experience to get the hell over herself and learn what a sense of humor is, Latrice Royale because she’s living that name, Willam who has struck an entertaining balance of bitchy to dumb blonde, and then…this…and zing went the strings of my heart:

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Be forewarned, I’m pretty lax and everyone has a right to his or her own opinion and can’t we all just get along, but I will cut down anyone who has anything bad to say about the divine Sharon Needles. Except maybe that he has an even worse case of meth face than the Princess out of drag because, that’s not a diss that’s just a fact. But in drag I have decided that Sharon’s my spirit guide (along with Bernie Sanders, so make of that what you will) and while I have no doubt she’s a bit outré and niche to win, I’m with her as long as she’s on the show.

Back again are Shawn and Jason, last season’s pit crew (FYI, I met Jason at a RPDR event and he’s taller than I thought, way more gorgeous in person and one of the most delightful people I’ve ever met.), in their teeny, tiny briefs and Mike Ruiz to do the premiere photo shoot, this time at a toxic waste dump. I’m a little surprised at who won the challenge, but nothing much comes with the win so whatever. None of the pictures were tragic or spectacular.

Main challenge is, again, a runway challenge where the queens are tasked with creating a post-apocalyptic look after looting enough crap from drag queen zombies, featuring many past contestants including Delta in really beautiful Día de los Muertos makeup and Shannel reminding me that as annoying and humorless as she can be, she can put together a really spectacularly theatrical look, when she’s not looking like middle management at a Fortune 500 company.

Challenge seems right in Sharon’s wheelhouse which perfectly sets up the stank Phi Phi to sniff her nose at what an “amateur” Sharon is, because it’s not like pride goeth before the fall or anything. But they’re not going anywhere this week because what’s RuPaul’s Drag Race without a good and nasty feud between queens? Ru tells the queens that Elvira is the guest judge and this is what Sharon does:

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

See, I can’t hate someone who does really bad cheerleader kicks just at the mention of Elvira’s name. And she has a Tammy Faye tattoo. She’s like a rainbow, a unicorn, a cupcake and a handful of Xanax all in one. But Phi Phi can, and does, so I dub Phi Phi the new Shangela and hope Sharon manages to outlast her because people like Phi Phi don’t need validation, they already think they’re awesome.

Full recap in a few days. Until then, you can catch up on the last season here.

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Thanks for being here!

vallegirl
About

Vallegirl has never actually lived in a valley, has a lot of time on her hands and likes to yell at kids about how things were in her day.  Currently in LA, she's also spent a lot of time in the great states of  New York and Florida so she's not crazy, it's just a cultural thing.

17 Comments

  1. 1
    Scott
    Posted January 29, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    SO PSYCHED for this season to start and the fact that you also love Sharon Needles makes me moist. Gonna love the recaps as much, if not more, than the show itself. Bring Back My Gurrls !!!!

  2. 2
    willam
    Posted January 29, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    sharon got me pregnant in my mouth.

  3. 3
    sheesh
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Vallegirl!

    I am so glad you are recapping this!

  4. 4
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 9:22 am

    Well, Willam, if that’s your real name, you do have a purty mouth.

  5. 5
    Deja Johnson
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 9:37 am

    “You tired ass showgirl.”

    “Go back to Party City where you belong!”

  6. 6
    BlueberryPancake
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Squeeeeeeee! So happy ! ( although I have to wait till Tuesday to watch online ) it’s gonna be sickning !

  7. 7
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted January 31, 2012 at 6:09 am

    The winner this week was clear and beyond debate – what a BRILLIANT runway look for the theme!!

    I think little Kenya is gorg – and she is so tiny! Also, sign me up for the Sharon train – LOVE her! (PS for all her lack of humor, Phi Phi is a REALLY cute guy!!)

  8. 8
    myrnatyrna
    Posted January 31, 2012 at 7:25 am

    I LURVED that little mirror interchange between Sharon and the Princess. Damn straight (no pun…), there are many different kinds of drag, and Sharon is the antithesis of pretty-girl drag. And big props to Princess for recognizing that and throwing a little support (and flirt-love) to our girl Sharon.

  9. 9
    Terrence
    Posted January 31, 2012 at 7:31 am

    So far love Sharon Needles as well. Although I’m waiting to see if she can do something besides the goth look which was perfect for this episode but she’ll have to glam it up too.

    Willam is over the top annoying.

  10. 10
    DolceAnnella
    Posted January 31, 2012 at 8:41 am

    Terrence: Agree with everything you said. Willam is so annoying. He was in a great B horror movie called Ticked Off Trannies with Knives though. So bad, it’s good.

    I love Sharon Needles, but I also love gender fuck and alternative drag so I’m a bit bias.

  11. 11
    Deja Johnson
    Posted January 31, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Kenya is very beautiful!

    And yes, William was not likable at ALL. No endearing personality traits whatsoever.

    I’m also on the Sharon Needles train!

    I liked Latrice Royale, she seemed so sweet.

  12. 12
    myrnatyrna
    Posted January 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Ticked Off Trannies was on cable a few days ago (oh, it was just terrible! And I couldn’t turn it off!!)

    Hafta say, though, I ain’t buyin’ what Willam is sellin’. Too forced, too obvious…and the arrogance comes off as just, well…desperate.

  13. 13
    Sugarbush Joy_Subtraction
    Posted January 31, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    While I always remember that I love Drag Race and the greatest emcee of them all, RuRu, I do have to say that I forgot just HOW MUCH I love this show until I watched the premier just a moment ago. My God, this is the best show on the planet.

    Sharon is awesome and sweet, so I know I’ll be sad when she goes. Jiggly is my gurrl, because she reminds me of my big Mexican gayboy who can tear up a rug just like her. And I was really annoyed at Alisha (or whatever her name was) with the breastplate after her sob story about how the cops ruined her life because of her DUI. Really? Did the cops pour the booze down your whore-throat and cause you to get behind the wheel? Tragic!

    I’ll be waiting with bated breath for the recaps each week!! LOVE!

  14. 14
    PottyMouth PottyMouth
    Posted February 1, 2012 at 5:11 am

    How did I not know this show was back?!??!?!?! DAMN IT! Vallegirl, so happy that you’ll be recapping! Now I’m off to see if the first epi is on OnDemand so I don’t miss out on all the fun. See ya soon!

    SWAK, PottyMouth

  15. 15
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 1, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    @Vallegirl, did you kill Unpro to get this gig? And, please with all that’s holy and bright, please recap the Untucked episodes. That’s really the best part of the show, anyway!

    I haven’t watched the full episode yet, but I have to say that Chad Michaels looks too much like Ryan Murphy for me to take him too seriously as a competitor. Second, Willem looks too much like Project Runway All Star Austin Scarlett for me to take him seriously as a competitor, although the scenes from the future episodes show him doing his famous Cher impersonation.

    Based on the little I’ve seen, I don’t love any of them yet. Also, if anyone is interested, on Tuesday nights, the Derek & Romaine show (Sirius XM) interviews the most recent eliminated queen, usually in the 7PM (EST) hour of the show (at least that’s when it was this week). If you don’t have a Sirius radio, you can get an online subscription for like $3 per month.

  16. 16
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted February 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    Heh. No, just right place, right time…and my plan for world domination via the subtle dark arts of recapping.

    But, how do you recap “Untucked”? It’s such perfection that writing about it would just be a pale imitation. I’d rather just let the shade, the shade of it all stand for itself.

  17. 17
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted February 1, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    @Vallegirl, you have a great point about all the shadiness. I guess my only comment was that I recall that the Untucked episodes last season provided context to things that happened in the episode (which Unpro didn’t watch or recap, as I recall). My only suggestion would be to use the Untucked as a way to provide context, as needed, to the episode if some things aren’t clear, since all of the posters may not watch Untucked.

    btw, LOL @ the shade stands alone.

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